To Observe is Science!

by Crimson Star

Party down

The next morning was not anything unusual. I got up, and had breakfast, which consisted of leftover cake and a sliced apple. Ponies are herbivorous by nature, but, while they may be disgusted by the idea of eating other creatures, they are in no way a stranger to taking care of the dietary needs of omnivorous and even carnivorous pets. Pinkie Pie has a pet alligator, after all. As well, Twilight has an owl, Rarity, a cat, and Applejack, a dog. I have no doubt the ponies had to have fed their pets meat at some point or another. That is a thought which both interests and disappoints me, as I would give anything for a big, juicy steak right now. But, you have to play the hand dealt to you, and right now, my cards are the best I can get.

After breakfast, I activated Tiny, who had been recharging. We began the final stretch of getting my lab up and running. The lab itself had been completed, but it needed power. But then, so did the refinery, and THAT needed to be separate from my lab, so I wouldn’t risk damaging one building’s activities with the activities of the other. That’s when I came up with the on-the-fly idea of making an energy source that could be split to multiple structures with the materials I had on hand. I call it my Generator Spire, and it’s like a cross between a solar, wind, and geothermal generator. It uses all three at once to generate power, and then distributes the power as needed to all structures in range. Put simply, it uses lasers to locate special beacons I set up on my buildings, and distribute the power over distance, so no wires are required.

Dang, I start talking about my creations, and I go off on a tangent. I’mma try to stick to the story. Sorry. Anyway, Tiny started welding the plates that would become the walls of my refinery, and I began moving the computers in. The computers would….Eh, heh, heh…. Sorry. The morning was pretty uneventful. Around eleven, I told Tiny to finish his current weld, and then meet me at the garage to prepare for Pinkie’s party. It took me a few minutes to get all the tools out of Tiny, but soon enough, we were on our way. Tiny rumbled through town, as I took a Captain Morgan pose on top of him, pointing towards Sweet Apple Acres, and grinning wide.

We arrived at the party ten minutes early, as I always like to do. Twilight and Geo were setting up the tables, Rarity was helping Rainbow Dash and Pinkie with decorations, and the Apple family, with the help of John and Sweetie Belle, was getting the food ready. They all turned to see me once I rolled in, and almost everyone looked at me strange. The only one who laughed was Pinkie. I’m glad SOMEpony got the joke.

Geo shook his head, as Tiny came to a halt. “What are you doing?” He asked.

“I’m a party pirate.” I said with a smile, still in my pose.

“Oh no! He’s come to raid the cake!” Pinkie laughed, kicking her legs up in the air.

“You’re random.” Geo said, as he returned to setting up the tables.

“Yeah, well…” I jumped from Tiny. “…There’s a fine line between genius and insanity. I like to make it blurry.”

Geo rolled his eyes. “You’re going to destroy it, at this rate.”

I ignored him, and turned to Pinkie. “Hey Pinks, where do you want Tiny?”

Pinkie chuckled. “Just have him park in the barn. Vinyl will be over soon, and she wants to try using him for a DJ platform.”

“I hope she doesn’t mind him dancing a bit.” I said, pointing Tiny to the barn. “Tiny does like to move to the rhythm.”

“I still can’t get over the fact that you named that thing.” Rainbow stated, hanging up a banner congratulating the newlywed couple of Geo and Twilight.

I shrugged. “What’s wrong? If you had a foal, you’d name it.”

“That’s different.” Rainbow protested, as she landed next to Twilight.

“How?” I asked. “You create a foal, you name it. I create a bot, I name it. I don’t see the difference.”

“Alright, y’all.” Applejack interjected, before Rainbow could respond. “C’mon, Rainbow. There ain’t no reasonin’ with that one. ‘sides, Ah don’t think this conversation is a good thing to hear for certain ears.” She nodded towards Sweetie Belle helping her sister, and Applebloom standing behind Twilight, who was sampling some of the punch for approval.

“Aw, you don’t need to pay us no mind, AJ. We were learnin’ where foals come from just last week.”

Before anyone else could speak, a thought occurred to me, and I just had to open my mouth. “Hey, speaking of foals, Geo, do you and Twilight use protection?”

Twilight immediately spat out her punch, and put a hoof over her muzzle. There was a chorus of laughter from half of the bystanders at the party. I felt a look of disgust from the other half.

Geo looked at me, completely dumbfounded. “…DUDE! What the fu-“

“Hey, it’s a serious, completely legitimate and very important question, and let me explain why, before I’m booed out of the party!” I had raised my hands up defensively, and had a concerned expression on my face.

Geo looked at me grimly. “You have one minute.”

As quickly as I can, I began to explain. “Alright, so in our universe, we can’t crossbreed with ponies. Not that we’d want to, but nevermind that. We’re in a different universe now, our laws of nature do not apply here. Trees grow, clouds move, and seasons change, all with the help of outside influence. Now, earlier this week, I heard mention of griffons, and how they actually existed. According to our mythos, a griffon is a crossbreed between a lion and an eagle. Also, Pinkie was recently telling me about how she and the other Elements of Harmony had to band together to defeat a Chaos Spirit named Discord. From her description, I can conclude that Discord was a cross of many different species. Now, bear with me for a second. If all these crossbreeds can exist in this universe, then, don’t it stand to reason that there could be a crossbreed between a pony and a human, as well?”

As Geo and the others listened, they began to see my point, and the legitimacy of my question. “W…well, there’s no proof that we can, and we bloody well know we can’t in our universe…”

“Ah, but we are in a different universe. Different laws of nature and physics apply, and we, as visitors, have to follow those laws. Which brings me back to my previous question; do you and Twilight use protection?”

An awkward silence filled the air. It lingered for a few moments, before I spoke, rubbing my head. “I…didn’t mean to worry you, but I just felt the need to bring up the possibility. Sorry.”

Twilight put a hoof on Geo’s hand. “It’s alright, Geo. We’ll worry about it later. Let’s just enjoy this time we have right now.” Geo nodded, and Twilight turned to me. “Thank you, Doctor, for giving us this information. We will be more careful from now on.”

I nodded, as Pinkie suddenly made her presence known. “Alright, enough with the frowns! It’s time to get down! We still have a party to set up, so let’s get shakin’!”

Geo shook his head. “I need a drink…”

=====================================================================

The party was…well, jumpin’. It always seemed that Pinkie Pie parties were the liveliest events you’d ever come across. Everypony that wasn’t at Geo and Twilight’s wedding (but wanted to be) was here. As well, a few who were there made a return. Twilight was catching up with her family. Her Mother, Father, and her Big Brother had all made an appearance at the wedding, but they all were staying in Ponyville just long enough for to make an appearance at the second party.

Geo was having a drink with John. I felt kinda bad about earlier. I somehow managed to embarrass him, and I hoped to high heaven that he wasn’t mad at me. I felt a legitimate concern that he might be in danger of becoming a father prematurely, but he might’ve interpreted my actions differently. I was leaning against the fence, and I must’ve been looking glum, because I felt a hoof poke me in the arm. I looked down, and saw Pinkie looking up at me. I smiled at her. “Hey, Pinks. What’s wrong?”

“I was about to ask you the same thing, Mr. Frowny-Pants.” She replied. “Are you okay?”

I sighed. “Well, I managed to embarrass my friend earlier, and make myself look like an ass at the same time. Does that count as okay?”

She giggled. “Oh, don’t worry about that, silly!” She replied. “I’m sure he’s forgiven you! You were just worried that he might be doing something he didn’t want to!”

“But did he see it that way, is the question?” I asked.

“Oh, I’m sure he did. And if he is angry, then I’m sure it’ll pass. You are looking out for him, after all.” She reasoned.

“Yeah, you’re right.” I admitted, following her train of thought. Only fools hold grudges.

There was a change in the music, and Pinkie gasped with a smile. “Oooh! This is one of my favoritest most favorite songs in the world!” She looked over at me. “Wanna dance with me?”

I shrugged. “Alright. I’m following your lead, though.” I said, letting her take me out to the dance floor. I had caught a red light out of my peripheral vision, and looked up to see one of the BIRDs that I had been deploying to observe Equestria while I worked on my lab. I made a mental note to get the data back from it as soon as I was finished dancing with Pinkie.

Comments

[GeodesicDragon]

Once again, I nearly pissed myself laughing at that 'do you use protection?' bit.

[Crimson Star]

@ Geo Well, it IS a legitimate question...

[GeodesicDragon]

1257918

I know, but it was still funny as fuck.

[Hi]

Oookkkaaaaayyyy he blures the line but then i destroy it by running it over with a tankk (not sure if in this one or last)

[Jack Number Fifteen]

"There’s a fine line between genius and insanity. I like to make it blurry."
I Myself am on the more Insane side, After what I've gone Through.
Much on the Insane side.

[NerdUnicorn]

Some people say I will win the nobel prize. Others say I will be locked in a mental instution and take therapy every week. I say, can you have one without the other? (No seriously this is true. I am smarter than most of my teachers and read about quantum mechanics for fun!)

[APS]

2261005 Opinions are like assholes.
Everyone has one - but some just smell worse than others.

[dragenfire68]

2722313 nice anology, imam be sure to use it when a friend of mine is down cause of some asshol- I mean comments

[catrianheir]

Question: how old is Ace? At first I thought he was 50+, but I'm starting to think that isn't the case.