Note: contains violence and blood
In the future, Rainbow Dash and Octavia become 'Bounty Hunters', hunting for the heads of criminals they are hired to kill. They never failed a contract- that is, until they spotted Twilight Sparkle on their list. Now Rainbow is torn between her own survival and her childhood friend's, but when time comes- loyalty prevails. As they battle against an organisation larger than they could ever imagine, the first signs of war begin to show when intel suggests that someone is attempting to assassinate royalty.
A story that includes blades, guns, gangster hats, blood, and loyalty.
[Anniversary Update:
-New scene in Chapter 8
-Edited and formatted
-A few things about the fic after each chapter
-New cover image]
Chapters (16)
This one actually looks quite interesting.
I gave you my everything. My watch, my favourite, my like, my read later! I have high hopes for you.
The pegasus with the rainbow-colored mane let got. Her tried to move, but then noticed the ground was just out of (the) reach of his hooves.
Interesting concept. But a few mistakes, I pointed them out above.In brackets means a word that should be there.
I dislike being nitpicky but some mistakes are just a little annoying. Sorry to bother.
I'll give this a read later. Looks cool :)
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Thanks for all the support guys. I usually edit my stories after I have come with the story line, so please tolerate a few small mistakes and typos;) and after editing they should all be a reformatted and easier to read. Thanks again for the support! Please feel free if you have any suggestions!
I was going to write something simila. Oh well...
I mean similar
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All good. I don't want to restrict you from having fun writing... So just go ahead;)
I'd recommend putting a full line of space between your paragraphs. It helps a lot.
This could be good... but the next chapter has to be straight exposition. I can't go too long without knowing how the hell these two are all of a sudden master assassins.
That's what they are, by the way, not bounty hunters. Bounty hunters just go kill / capture people with bounties, and claim the money from the police. They don't have bosses and contracts.
Anyway, I'll hold off on my rating until the next chapter is released. I won't say what's good or bad yet since the prologue is the only thing out, and that's allowed to be just straight up violence to get people hooked.
Thanks JArtisonW my very first fic shall be dubbed, mercenaries.
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Yeah... Other people have suggested that in my other fic, so I'll keep that in mind while editing ;)
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I'll slowly reveal why via flash backs throughout the story, since I usually don't do random time jumps... Let's say they're both. they kill criminals, and get hired by other people to do stuff. Usually they don't kill innocent ponies and I'll explain that in later chapters
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Ah, okay.
By the way, you definitely just stuck Rainbow Dash's big sword in there because you like them in anime, right? There's no way you thought, "Hey! You know what the best, most appropriate and realistic weapon for Rainbow Dash would be? A giant bucking sword!!!"
Not trying to flame, I just find it funny is all xD
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Haha I'm not much of an anime guy but I saw the big sword in one of them ads and thought: I need that.
1251872 That's cool! Just make sure there's a good explanation for why she uses it. I'm guessing that red gem is special for some reason
Dun duun duuuuuuuun!
Thar be a shitstorm a ' brewin '
pretty good a few minor errors here and there put overall a realy good read. I just love rainbow's sword
You, sir have my full attention. Keep going, this is gonna be good.
Oh shit, Son!!!!!
first rainbow dash with a giant cleaver now a master sniper
it's just so beatiful.
yeaaaaah, somepony is gunna die a slow, slow death.
So action filled! Can't wait for the next few chapters! You, sir, have awesome writing skills and a vast imaginatio...
What just happened?
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I'm not sure what you mean. But if you have any suggestions for the storyline, you'd be welcome to comment them here.
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Thanks;) I'll be sure to keep them coming with lots of destruction
While it's your story and you can have it go where ever you want, it just seems....out there. An evil corporation has limit-less resources, fighter jets and even invisible helicopters. However, it's only means of knowing what Princess Celestia is doing over the weekend is to capture and torture the one and only person that knows.
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Twilight could've been captured for other reasons too, she could be used to lure out the princess should it call for it. The organisation originally intended to keep twilight, as they tried to take her away. But then the situation was interfered by the 'bounty hunters', and nothing else was revealed, since they didn't get a chance to reveal them.
Derps!
luna dammit everytime i hear what these murders have done i just imagine my OC hunting them down and gutting them like the pigs they are.
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Hehe. I'm glad to see the storyline so far has achieved the desired reaction
man these assholes better get whats coming to them, useing a broken little girl for their dirtywork,
i have half-a-mind to pull a pinkie pie and break the fourth wall by going to these guys main base with a 12.Ga and sending these guys straight to hell. i don't give a dam if i don't make it out alive i want these bastards to suffer.
*sigh*
now that i got that out of my system this is a great story it's realy getting good now. glad i found you, keep up the good work.
How in Celestia is she back?
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Will be in more detail in later flashbacks, but she didn't die.
Oh shit!
Oh... Somepony is gonna get it...
Octavia... No... *Breaks down on the floor sobbing*
If that is who I think that is at the end... Then this story just got a lot more epic... But... If she dies, then I am going to be extremely pissed
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Eh... I'm not sure who you're referring to, but please tell me?
1338161 I'm totally gonna guess that it's Vinyl
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Yeah, I agree that would've been epic- but if that's what you're thinking then you probably won't be expecting what actually happened. I'm not going to say whether Rainbow dies or not, you know; spoilers. But I'll try finish the next chapter today
I had the slightest glimmer of hope when they said revival machinery... *Sigh*
Wait... Where's Vinyl!?!?
"She was still screaming when the black stuff went up to her neck, then to her face, then to her mouth. Her scream began to split into several different vocals, before settling to a robotic tone."
It reminds me of the scene from the Matrix, when Neo gets out.
I just listened to "The swan" played on a cello during the scene in the appartement. It. Was. Awesome! Like slowmotion in front of my inner eye. Epic!
Wow, this story is so great. A couple of manly tears when Dainty passed away
, then laughter when Rainbow was totally drunk 
, a mix of fascination and rage at Neon's beginning 
and then this awesome sunrise at the roof 
. I dare to say this story is the best fanfic I ever read. Even better than My Little Dashie. And I'm just halfway through the first book. You definitely got talent and know how to use it.
Dat finale!
Le gasp! Shining was a girl this whole time!?