Stocks and Garters

by Uh-hmmm

First Person POV

Author's Note:

Special thanks to IHateNumbers for commissioning this.

I am Anon, trying on Rarity's take on the playboy bunny suit for stallions. It's still a work in progress, but at least this version gives the boys a little room to breathe down there. For her part, Rarity is frowning at a report from her accountant.

"Not quite enough... I'd need at least..."

I take a few awkward steps toward her, not sure how I feel about the prototype. It covers my butt and technically my balls, but a good portion of non-ball sack is open to the air.

"What's up?"

Rarity sets the report aside and looks at me apologetically.

"Ah, you've changed, Darling? How are you finding the fit?"

I shrug.

"Pretty good, actually. Feels kinda weird to have ball cleavage on display, but I imagine my regular customers will be more used to that. Now what are you worrying about over here?"

She makes a few notes and sighs.

"It's nothing too weighty, I had just hoped I would have enough saved to expand into Fillydelphia in time for the Fall season."

I glance at the spreadsheets, not that I really know what to look for. Rarity smirks as I abandon the effort and sit across from her. I roll my eyes. Me being bad at math has nothing to do with being a guy, no matter what she says.

"How about going public?"

The fashionista raises an eyebrow.

"Going public? Advertising that we can't expand into Fillydelphia yet?"

I shake my head.

"No, I mean going from a private company to a public company. Selling stock to fund the Fillydelphia branch."

She frowns.

"We already sell as much stock as we can, please explain exactly what you mean by a 'public company', darling."

I scratch my cheek.

"I would have thought... Well, what I mean is you would make, like, one hundred or so stocks? Basically, whoever owns at least one stock gets a proportional percentage of ownership of the company. As your company grows more successful, the stocks become more valuable and can be resold at a profit."

Rarity tilts her head in consideration.

"How would such partial ownership work? Especially if the stocks are being bought and sold at a whim."

I shrug.

"I think everyone-"

"Everypony"

I glare at her, but she just smirks.

"I still say that's speciesist, but whatever. Everysmolhorse who owns a number of stocks above a threshold amount attends stockholder meetings and has a say in how the company is run. That's why you should always have more than half of the stocks yourself, so no o- no smolhorse can completely overrule you about how you run your company."

The mare looks at me skeptically.

"So I would be taking money in exchange for having to listen to a bunch of busybodies who may or may not know anything about the fashion industry for the rest of the time that I own the business?"

I smile sheepishly.

"Yes?"

Rarity shakes her head with a chuckle.

"I still have a hard time believing your world was run by stallions, but this stock scheme is exactly the sort of thing overly meddlesome stallions would come up with."

I squawk.

"Hey!"

She gives me an amused look.

"What other reason would they have to invest in stocks if it wasn't to meddle in mares' work?"

I definitely do not pout, even if Rarity is making her 'Oh how cute, he's pouting' face.

"Look, the main thing most people did with stocks is trade them. Like, you would try to buy them when they were cheap, then sell them when they were valuable."

She raises an eyebrow.

"People would buy stock from companies that were in decline?"

Okay, I might, just maybe, be pouting.

"Well, it might go up in value, or there are shorts and limit buys and stuff."

Rarity raises her other eyebrow.

"And those are?"

I stare down at the table as my face heats up in embarrassment. I mumble,

"I dunno. Stock things."

Rarity trots over and pecks me on the cheek.

"That's okay, darling. You are quite easily cute enough to not need to know how even human business works."

I cover my face and groan.

"I'm not cute."

My marefriend giggles.

"You are adorable. And you gave me an idea for what to do."

I brighten up immediately.

"I did? What is it?"

She smirks.

"You highlighted how nosy stallions can be, so I thought I would offer the Fillydelphia elite a one-time deal. For a significant investment, I'll give them a custom adjustment of one of the Fall line of outfits and send them updates about who else of note has bought which outfit from me for the Fall season. Not only will the investments pay for the initial costs of setting up a branch, but once it opens, the stallions will rush to get their preferred outfit, and then choose even more once they know what they are up against. It will be a fashion feeding frenzy! Wahahaha!"

I smile in admiration of her cunning and enthusiasm.

"Sounds like a good plan, though sending all those reports sounds like a pain in the flank."

Rarity shrugs.

"That's why it's one time only, darling."

I grunt in understanding and stand up. I feel the boys get some air and glance down at the damp patch on the stool seat in mild disgust.

"Yeah, ball cleavage might be a mistake. Leaving ball sweat everywhere can't be hygienic."

Rarity has the grace to blush.

"That is a feature, darling, not a flaw."

I roll my eyes.

"Mares."

She smirks.

"But you still love me, even if I would drag my teats across two miles of broken glass to huff your ball sweat."

I pick her up and throw her over my shoulder.

"None of that, I like your teats as they are, plump and not lacerated by miles of broken glass."

Rarity hums happily as I carry her to the bedroom.

"Then it is a good thing that I can huff straight from the source."

My marefriend is many things: cunning, ambitious, eloquent, graceful, generous, loving, and a huge pervert. I throw her onto the bed with a pomf. But I wouldn't have her any other way.

Comments

[Purpleanon]

Just read this on rgre

[artofwar77]

I, too, thank IHateNumbers for commissioning this.
And my thanks to the author for sharing it here. Was a good read.

[StraightToThePointStudio]

Beautiful lil' short story in every way! Blessings to the person who commissioned this and many thanks for you writing this whole beauty! Hope ya didn't mind, but I couldn't resist making a reading of this fic of yours!

Audio Linky!: https://youtu.be/0Qh3vAmdKo4

(I don't mean to offend anyone with this comment in any way!)

[creativeprocrastinator]

10975954
I was more picturing being on the receiving end than the blowing end.

[limkoIlak]

I read a different version. The man who got into Equestria has a problem with the ponies. They like him. They like him a lot. And too many to be happy with it. Even the Night Princess is showing her interest in it. The line between dream and reality is blurring, driving our hero to despair. And then at this point I realize that no one needs her advice. Business is not for her. I am posting here for those connoisseurs who are interested and hoping for valid criticism. What you can't do for the sake of popularity and to be liked. And here it's time to finish to introduce https://forexstore.com/happy-gold the book and bring them into the world of reality. And then she asks him "do you have any business advice..."

[Vaguely Demented]

Yeah the stock market is one of those things that it takes only one serious conversation to realize that you really have no clue how it actually works.