• Published 30th Aug 2021
  • 5,558 Views, 149 Comments

I'm Celestia now?! - Mittens of flabbergast



I woke up as Princess Celestia and I have no clue what to do. Somepony get Twilight!

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Chapter 5

“Now concentrate on that book and use the force, Princess.”

I coughed, “Excuse me?”

She blushed, “Sorry, I’ve been reading through one of Spike’s comic books.”

“What’s it called?”

“Celestial Wars, it took me some time to get into it but it’s actually pretty good. Almost like real literature.” She smiled brightly enough that I decided to ignore that last comment. “Is there anything with a title similar to Star Trek?”

She seemed to be considering that for a moment, she rubbed her chin with a hoof and then her eyes suddenly brightened. “You mean Star Trot? Spike has a few issues of that but I think he prefers Celestial Wars.. heh, they got a pretty strange parody of you in there though. I mean, that mane style is so weird.”

I decided to think about the implications of this stuff later and turned my attention back to the book. It was a large heavy thing, the pages were uneven along the side and they were brown and speckled with mold. Despite that I bet it still had that wonderful musty old book smell. As for the contents I doubt it was as interesting as Celestial Wars had sounded. I would have paid actual money to read a decent fan fic like that.

This book had Tax Code in large blocky text on the cover. I held my breath and concentrated my will just like Twilight had described earlier. Nothing seemed to happen. I felt my face going red. Then letting go of my breath I stepped back, sucked in another lung full of air and tried it again. This time I felt my horn flicker to life.

Have you ever grabbed a pipe while water was going through it or done the same with a hose? That sort of vibration, the feel of the water running, that’s a lot like what my horn felt like with magic going through it. I cast it out like a net and watched as the book before me was wrapped in my golden telekinetic aura.

I raised my chin with the desire of the movement. The book shot into the air and smashed through the plaster of the ceiling. Twilight and I stared up in astonishment for several seconds before a white faced guard leaned over the hole.

Crushed plaster showered the room like snow giving Twilight an aged appearance as it settled in her mane and on her muzzle. She sneezed and shook herself off. I stepped back as a cloud of plaster dust formed around her then casting my gaze back to the hole I called out, “Are you okay?”

A single hoof shot out as he saluted, “Yes, Princess, but are you two okay?”

I glanced at Twilight and then back to the guard, “Yes, we’re fine. Could you perhaps send some cleaners for the room though?” He saluted again and vanished.

“Okay,” said Twilight, “Maybe we should try again somewhere a little less delicate.”

“Where would you suggest?”

She thought about it for a moment, “The gardens, but there’s something I have to do first.”

“What’s that?”

“Bathe.”

I looked down at myself, remembered I was a pony, then looked back at myself. I was covered. The parts of my mane I could see blowing from the side of my face seemed completely normal as if the dust couldn’t cling there. But Celestia’s cutie mark was so blurred through the powder it barely looked yellow anymore. I nodded, “Same.”

Twilight and I parted in the hall and I made my way back up to Celestia’s quarters and entered the bathroom. It was my first time seeing the whole room and I was surprised to see a second door leading into a place with a toilet. It wasn’t a regular toilet though, it was just like one of those traditional Japanese style ones, almost like a urinal set into the floor instead of the wall. I’d only ever seen pictures of toilets like that and… Well anyways, I ducked back out into the bathroom and trotted back over the large oval tub set into the floor.

The water was warm when I sank into it and I breathed a sigh. That felt good. Almost as good as that release of magic, I mean, wow. I’d barely felt like I’d been making an effort there. The actual effort of outputting magic had been tricky for a moment but... No wonder I didn’t care for Alicorn OC’s, they were just too powerful. Not that I was one to talk right now but whatever.

It didn’t take long for the water to turn a translucent milky white as I started scrubbing myself. Then after I finished that I waded to the side of the tub and sat leaning against it. I sighed. As grand as it was getting to meet Twilight Sparkle in the flesh it was nice to get away for some quick alone time.

I gave myself a moment to envision how this could have been for me. I saw myself running around Ponyville as my OC Lucky Star, finding a part time job, finding a place to camp out for the night or maybe even a place to stay. I could have had a lot of fun building a new life for myself here in Equestria, instead, I’d been thrown into someone else’s life and told to deal with it.

Then I thought of my old life, all the things I’d never get back. My first edition copy of Murky Number Seven. That hard cover copy of Changeling Courtship rituals I’d had printed. All those manga. My few friends. I definitely wasn’t going to make it to Haley’s wedding and she’d invited me to that before he’d even proposed to her. Oh goodness, her wedding was only a month away… I decided to think about other things, that one was too heavy.

My collection of Disney movies on VHS. I’d spent way too much on Ebay getting all those tapes and for what? I was never gonna see them again let alone watch those movies. My play station 3, I was never gonna play fallout 3 again!

Unless video games turned out to be a thing in this version of Equestria. Gamer Luna was thing, right? Somehow that didn’t seem to match the Luna I’d met and if Star Wars and Star trek were comic books here… I doubted television was a thing.

Watching television was like.. eighty percent of my free time. So much for world made just to make me happy. I rolled my eyes and instantly felt bad about it. I couldn’t believe I was in Equestria and I was whining about television. I’d just met Twilight freaking Sparkle. I should be over the moon.

But it wasn’t so easy to stop thinking about. I mean, for effs sake, I’d finally started getting an anime blue ray collection together! I was finally making up for being a pirate all those years and buying up my favorites whenever I could. Gone. It would be like they never existed.

My thoughts wandered back to books, I was going to start reading the baby sitters club. I’d bought so many on eBay. Whole stacks for like ten or twenty dollars.

Well, there would be other books I guess. I froze. Something much more important than books or a vintage 1980s Ronald McDonald frisbee had just hit me. (In my defense, I thought that’d been a plate when I’d bought it.)

My body. My dead, dead body. How long would it be until someone found me? It’s summer time. I felt really bad for my landlord. There wasn’t exactly anything I could do about that though… I let myself sink down into the water until only my head showed.

My land lord had only bought the place five or six months ago and I’d gotten the impression that he was new to the whole ordeal. He’d always been so nice, when I was meeting him for the first time I’d wanted to know how I was supposed to pay the rent.

Before then I’d always just walked across the street and knocked on my old land lady’s door. But the new land lord didn’t live in town so I was concerned about it.

He told me all I’d have to do was send him a text message and he’d run over for it and he’d made extra clear that there wasn’t a hurry. That’s part of what made me think he was new to this. I could imagine plenty of people taking that kindness too far but regardless, I had to imagine how that would bode for me. How long was he going to wait before he got fed up enough to just walk into my house and investigate?

I sighed again, it was definitely going to be a closed casket funeral. Not to mention the fact that it was a pretty shitty way to start your career as a land lord. I was only twenty-seven, no spring chicken but still not much more than a kid to an older man like that. I could only imagine how traumatic that was going to be for him.

In front of me on the far wall was a mosaic of rolling green hills, I picked a point on it to stare and tried to empty my mind. Then for several moments I let in slow even breaths. Calm soothing breaths. This was a happy place with dirty plaster bathwater. There was nothing to feel bad over in this place.

There was also my extensive troll doll collection. Goodbye collectors shelf, hello goodwill.

I slapped a hoof to my forehead and stood up, the water pouring off of my body as I climbed out of the bath and marched over and pulled a towel from a rack by the door. Gripping either end of the towel in both fore-hooves I gritted my teeth and flossed it across my back. I could still feel the grit of the plaster in my fur but this would do just fine for now.

I had to go back down to the throne room and meet back up with Twilight.

Author's Note:

I totally meant to write a buffer before I updated again... I have no self control.

Comments ( 32 )

10965336
Then I was too hasty with my comment. *sad sigh*

There was also my extensive troll doll collection. Goodbye collectors shelf, hello goodwill.

Do people actually collect those? Heck, I'd be afraid to sleep in my own home, but then again, my mom has some old baby dolls lying around in a display cabinet. Those soulless eyes...

10965344
Well, the thing about that is, the easier it becomes to tell them (even if you have no other choice), the guiltier you become about them. Usually, that is.

10965346
I have a bunch of them, but I had a bunch as a kid too. They're nostalgic. I think they're ugly but weirdly cute at the same time.

I only collect the ones with outfits though

10965349
We'll have to see how the story turns out.

There was also my extensive troll doll collection.

Have to say I've never seen that kind of collection before.

So, this takes place after season 1? Lesson Zero?

My play station 3, I was never gonna play fallout 3 again!

A fantasy set in an alt universe and you didn’t imagine your own reality a little different?
Why not make it: PlayStation 6 and Fallout 5: Anniversary Edition

10965639
Yeah, the idea isn't to give myself cool stuff.

Now he's just gotta figure out how blatant he can be signaling for help

10965466
I saw it as happening just beforehoof.

so to clarify, if he tries to tell ponies the truth time freezes right before he utter it and things reset slightly?

I do like how the protagonist has is priorities straight, games and Disney collections are of the utmost importance.

He could make Gamer Luna a thing, like just sign a royal decree that forces Luna to play boardgames:trollestia:

10966437
boardgame luna could be pretty fun, it'd be like when the angry video game nerd did Board James. I like it.

10966809 yes, I mean, I didn't delete it I just unpublished it for a bit.

Or Princess Celestia is in charge of your body…

This is fun, so far! I’m excited to see where it goes!

Watching television was like.. eighty percent of my free time. So much for world made just to make me happy.

Oh, don't worry about that. Being a princess, you won't have barely any free time anyway.
I hope that makes you feel better.

I like stories like this. Though I do wish they didn't tend to die off before anything really came of them. At least the stand-in isn't bad in this one.

Is this gonna be updated?

10967098
Oh my God I need this

11029240

I'm actually working on something like this right now. Twilight, though, not Celestia. Is that close enough?

Hmmmm Discord you there??? I neeed your help maybe.

Then I thought of my old life, all the things I’d never get back. My first edition copy of Murky Number Seven. That hard cover copy of Changeling Courtship rituals I’d had printed. All those manga. My few friends. I definitely wasn’t going to make it to Haley’s wedding and she’d invited me to that before he’d even proposed to her. Oh goodness, her wedding was only a month away… I decided to think about other things, that one was too heavy.

With Murky over there, I can feel your pain. I cried a lot for that story.

Is the story dead?

Good story so far, Can't wait for more!:twilightsmile:

11061678
na, it's just resting it's eyes for a bit, you'll see it'll be up and about in no time

10966821
Hey, are you still there? It's been a lo-o-ong time...

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