In Bloom
Wind rushed past my ears, a great whooshing whistle that blocked out all other sound. I hazily squinted my eyes open, staring up at the star-speckled night sky receding from my field of view.
Oh.
I’m falling, I realized.
It took longer than I’d like to admit for that thought to really spur me into any action. I shook my overly light, ringing head and flipped myself over, thrusting my wings out wide and flat to increase my surface area—and not a moment too soon. The sound of the wind cut off, abruptly replaced with the whispering of grass, the loud cracks of snapping flower stalks, and bruising pain erupting all over my body.
I slid five, ten, almost fifteen feet, face first, before finally, inevitably sliding to a stop.
“Ow,” I muttered to no one in particular.
Carefully, I flipped myself over again, this time onto my back and, blessedly, on the ground. The heady scent of irises filled my nose as I blinked languidly up at the night sky. It was a moonless night, and the field was dark, but already fireflies were poking out from the tall grass around my path of destruction, their winking yellow lights trying to imitate the stars under which they danced. On another night, I’d probably relish the simple beauty.
“I’ll never be a Wonderbolt,” I murmured to the stars, trying out the new reality on my tongue. It felt wrong, but nonetheless true. The truths you didn’t want to hear always did.
A single tear tracked down my cheek, plopping down onto the trampled grass like dew.
Rainbow Dash leaned back in her chair, the cushion springs squeaking under the added weight, and sighed.
“Cadet…”
I tilted my head in question, but otherwise didn’t respond; my mouth was well covered by the soft cloth I was holding to my nose, still weeping blood since it started five minutes ago.
With a loud thunk, Captain Dash settled the chair back onto four legs and stood.
“I don’t like this,” she decided, snorting abruptly, pawing twice at the ground with her hoof, and starting to pace. I watched her carefully as she strode back and forth behind the desk. Captain Dash has always struck an impressive image with her rainbow mane and sky blue coat, the brightest daytime sky come alive as a pony.
I flexed my leathery wings. I was positively dull by comparison, my coat a dusky lilac that faded to dusty rose at my extremities, with a dark violet mane that I had shorn short for the Academy. I blinked once, eyes still tracking the Captain’s agitated pacing, and lowered the cloth pressed to my nose.
“What do you mean, Captain?” I asked, glancing down at the red-splotched rag and making a face. Ick.
Rainbow Dash snorted, cutting her bright carmine eyes in my direction. I shrank back instinctively.
“We’ve never had a thestral in the ‘Bolts,” she answered, more a sigh than a statement as she ran a hoof down her face.
My ears flattened. I could already feel my pupils contracting into slits, even as I tried my best to stare calmly back at my commanding officer.
“I see,” I offered levelly.
Rainbow paused, then shook her head vehemently. “No, no, you don’t, that’s not what I meant, Cadet.”
“Then what did you mean?” I asked carefully.
I was used to the uneasiness most ponies had around us. Thestrals were naturally dark-coated and nocturnal. By all rights, we were strange to the sensibilities of most of Equestria’s citizens—some even thought us inherently evil, a relic of Nightmare Moon’s rise and fall. I was used to the stereotypes ponies thrust at me; I was a thestral trying to become a Wonderbolt after all.
But, really, we were just ponies like anyone else. We ate flowers and fruit (and the occasional moth), but we had cutie marks and families and communities, hopes and dreams, just like any pegasus or unicorn or earth pony. Buzzing filled my ears as my emotions rose, trying to take over. The heady pull of rage sent my already light head spinning again.
“It’s not that you’re a batpony—a thestral, it’s nothing like that cadet, but—” She broke off in another sigh. “But it also is.”
Rainbow Dash stopped her pacing, settling her piercing stare on me once more. After a moment, it softened.
“You’re nocturnal, Cadet Vesper,” she said quietly. “The rest of your class isn’t.”
“But I’ve never missed a practice—”
“I know, Cadet, but switching your schedule to a diurnal one isn’t good for you--and don’t try to tell me that’s a lie. I’ve talked to the physical therapists doing your weekly check-ups.”
I abruptly shut my mouth, which had been creeping open to contest.
“But, it’s more than that. The way your physiology is, how you fly… it’s different from a pegasus.”
I blinked forcefully, trying to push back the burning in my eyes before it could absolve into tears. “I’ve trained my whole life, since I was little, and I got in, I passed the entrance exam.”
“I know,” Rainbow Dash muttered. “I know this is your dream. I don’t like telling ponies what they can and can’t do, it makes my teeth itch--who the hay am I to tell somepony that they can’t have what they worked so hard for?” Captain Dash snorted again, her brow screwed up into a scowl as she glared down at her desk.
“But I’ve talked to the doctors, I’ve talked to all the egghead scientists who’re at the top of their fields, and they’ve all told me the same thing.”
I drew a sharp breath, biting my lip. Captain Dash’s gaze slowly dragged up to mournfully meet mine.
“What happened today happened last week,” she said, gesturing to the blood still languidly dripping from my nose. I hastily covered it with the rag again. “It’s not going to get better, it’s going to keep happening until you hurt yourself permanently or kill yourself falling out of the sky.”
“No,” I whispered, shaking my head.
“Yes,” Rainbow answered back quietly. “There’s a reason the Wonderbolts have never had a thestral on their roster, why a batpony has never been part of a single weather team.”
“No,” I insisted.
Captain Dash didn’t pause to answer my pleas. “The way you fly, the way your bodies work, prevent it,” she bit out, each word a tooth being pulled.
“I’m sorry, kiddo, but… you’re never going to be a Wonderbolt. You can’t reach the altitudes necessary for our maneuvers. It’s not your fault, it’s just… how you’re built,” she concluded bitterly. “You’ll fall out of the sky every time you try, just like today, and I can’t give the okay for you to endanger your life like that.”
“It’s my life, it’s my dream, I get to choose—” I hissed, the tide of anger rushing up and spilling over as I unfurled my wings to hover in front of the Captain. She rose to meet me, her own wings a furious blue blur behind her.
“Not when I’m responsible for you,” she cut me off firmly. “You’re a danger to yourself and others when you’re up that high.” Her solemn expression softened minutely as she met my streaming eyes.
“I’m sorry, Vesper.”
Wordlessly, I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to stop the tears, pressing my hooves to my buzzing ears. The bloody cloth fell to the floor, forgotten.
With a huff of despair, I wheeled around and practically punched through the cloud wall of the office and out into the late afternoon sunlight.
x x x
Of course I’ll never be a Wonderbolt, I thought numbly as I lay in the field and stared up at the sky. I ran a careful hoof down my front, the bright blue and yellow fabric of my uniform garish to my darkvision eyes.
The first time I’d fallen from a cloud I’d only blacked out briefly, and had come-to in time to straighten my path with nothing but a nosebleed for my trouble. Today—twice, I reminded myself, regretting my most recent foolhardy ascent into the stratosphere--I hadn’t been so lucky.
I carefully raised one hoof to point at the sky, lining it up with the Evening Star, the one I’d been named for and the one stamped on my flank. The stars always looked so close. I’d always wanted to touch them, had been convinced I could, when I was little, if I just got stronger, became a better flier.
Now, that same bright star twinkled, mocking me.
It had never looked so far away.
“Pull yourself together, Vespertine,” I muttered, tugging my sore body into a sitting position. The grass swayed around me, the irises bloomed, the fireflies flickered, and the crickets started their chirping once again.
And I… would never be a Wonderbolt.
I pressed my hooves to my eyes, as if the pressure could shove my tears back into my skull.
Could it really be so simple? My dream, my life’s goal and purpose, swatted down by reality so easily, nothing but an annoying insect born to die.
No, I decided, relaxing the pressure on my eyes. The world was blurry as I blinked them open, staring sightlessly around the half-destroyed iris field, but maybe that helped me see things a little clearer.
“If I can’t be a Wonderbolt… I’ll just have to make a team I can belong to.” I glared up at that same mocking star, so bright against the endless velvet of the night sky.
Maybe I couldn’t reach it.
But maybe… I didn’t have to.
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The artist is scarlet-spectrum. I look forward to reading it!
This is a very cool concept, which would be great to expand on. You capture the characters' feelings well -- just enough conversation, just enough introspection.
The only thing I'd add here, if anything, is a stronger statement of why Vespertine can't be a Wonderbolt -- why her physiology prevents Wonderbolt-style aerobatics. Is it heights / low pressure (which you hint at with nosebleeds, but don't clearly say), is it excessive sunlight, is it the aerobatic maneuvers? Assuming the Thestrals were used by Nightmare Moon to fight for her, and are related to bats, which are natural aeronauts when chasing insects at night, there'd have to be a pretty strong reason for Rainbow to want to kill her dreams like that, which is important to settle in a story like this. Otherwise it feels like you're deliberately leaving it open to interpretation, which is always a little unsatisfying to the reader, like you're pulling your punches and not making as strong a statement as you could.
But that's only a suggestion -- otherwise I liked this! Great job!
Heck! This was great. Although "thestral" makes me grind my teeth, everything else about this story was pitch-perfect. Good job!
Poor Vesper, born too early to hitch a rocket ride into space.
10954515
What do you mean by 'thestral makes me grind my teeth'?
You racist. Jumping to what you expect.
10954557
As near as I can tell, "thestral" was either coined or brought of of obscurity by JK Rowling. I don't like the term "thestral" unless it's the invisible carriage horses in Harry Potter. Bat pony ≠ thestral.
Regardless, I still love this story.
10954557
It is a horrible name that looks and feels out of place.
I'm looking for a part two where she learns to fly with the help of an oxygen mask and demonstrates the usefulness of echolocation in foggy conditions. It's one thing to have limitations. It's how we overcome them that matters. Ironically, this isn't a story about racism, but ableism.
This is pretty ok. If there's a sequel, I'm in!
10954970
I think it's kind of both in this situation
My god this is beautiful in all ways imaginable. Like, holy JESUS this takes breaths away with the emotion put into it and then conveyed outwards to the reader! Excellent stuff and my goodness, there are no regrets with reading this beauty! Hope ya didn't mind, but I just couldn't resist making a reading of this batty fic of yours!
Audio Linkyloo!: https://youtu.be/OVn4BejCwUA
(I don't mean to offend anyone with this comment in any way!)
The only thing I can criticise in this story is that I can't imagine Rainbow Dash using the word "diurnal". xD
10954697
10954729
I think I prefer calling them thestrals because bat-pony sounds a bit too simple. Like calling pegasi as wing ponies. We all have our preferences though.
You can add "bat pony" as a character in the edit story screen. Just letting you know so you can bring in more eyeballs to your fic.
10954697
Well, we accept alicorn as a term for winged unicorns even though that word originated in old alchemy texts as a name for the horn of a unicorn.
Thestral doesn't seem that big a stretch with that being considered.
Me again. A great story! I've never considered thestrals as having an altitude problem - I like that little detail. Hopefully it goes better for Vesper than it did with Lightning Dust and the Washouts. Nice job. 🦇
I love this. It's earned a special place in my heart. Now please write a sequel, because I need more of this.
What a great read. I think you did a great job of portraying Vesperitne's determination. Seeing her push herself despite the biological limitations, and then trying a different solution when joining the Wonderbolts doesn't pan out, really sells just how much this means to her. I really hope there is a continuation planned, because leaving us with that sequel bait at the end and then not delivering is just cruel.
10954697
10955347
10955582
Another term I've seen when people don't want to... borrow from JK Rowling is "Nocturne." I kind of like it myself for much the same reason: it's not "bat pony," and it's not JK Rowling's.
10954970
Neither. Ableism would be discrimination, this is pure, harsh reality. It is not ableism to deny an guy without arms, a spot in a deadlift competition. It's simple reality that he is not physically equipped to perform the necessary exercises. It is the same thing here: Vespertine's body is not built for high altitude flying, which is required for the Wonderbolts. She's not being discriminated against, she is just not physically capable of doing what is necessary.
The choice to let her go, is to protect her and others from injury and death, because if she keeps trying to make these high altitude flights, she's going to keep crashing. Rainbow Dash isn't being unfair, she's just looking at the facts and drawing the obvious conclusion. Vespertine can't follow the Wonderbolt's standards. But like the ending suggests, that doesn't mean she can't do something else, like become a Shadowbolt?
10955416
Oooo, thank you!
10955227
You know, that's fair, hahaha.
I'm not sure what else she WOULD say though. 🤔
10955897
Exactly. You got it in one. :)
I personally have sad lungs, and high altitudes (like the 5,000 ft mountain I semi-regularly go to) really mess with me.
Bats fly differently than bird: they require a much higher respiration rate during flight than any bird does, and they are utterly incapable of flying at higher altitudes. I'm already plotting a sequel, so here's some of my behind-the-scenes thoughts: it makes sense (to me) for pegasi and batponies/thestrals to be morphologically distinct, because one has avian wings and the other has bat wings. This story (series?) will explore those differences, and the ways that Vesper's dream/goals change as she comes to realize what's attainable for a pegasus just isn't for her. It's not ableism, just reality.
10956157
Would be interesting to see what this turns out to be. I'd like to think that the Shadowbolts would gain their own fame, by doing their own thing, and in doing so earn the respect and admiration of the likes of Rainbow Dash.
Depending on how you choose to proceed with it, I could imagine a story where people accuse them of being cheap copycats, "Wonderbolt Dropouts Create Wonderbolt Rip-off!" and they have to fight public opinion to reach whatever goal they have set for themselves.
I loved it it's going into favorite and you gaind a follower I cant wait for whats next
Such a shame you dont know the source.
Google reverse image spat out a few very neat ones but nothing close :<
Do you have the picture WITHOUT THE TEXT?
Cutting off the text helped to narrow it down i think. Its confusing google which tries to read it Oo
10956157
I for one will look forward to seeing the sequel.
As to the Thestral argument, I personally don't care one way or the other. There's this neat story where Twilight interviews a bat-pony and the sequels (no spoilers
) The one thing that I will say is that the bat-ponies find the term thestral to be very condescending and rude, as, in their native tongue, it roughly translates to "cave-dweller" with similar implications of calling someone a neanderthal.
10956305
TheLegendaryBillCipher mentioned that the artist to this particular depiction of Dawn Aurora was scarlet-spectrum a bit further down the comments section.
Good job! I’ve never thought about the different altitude limits thestrals had in comparison to the pegasi though, nice thinking. Vespertine being denied her dreams of being a wonderbolt really hurt.
It what can a thestral do that a Pegasus can’t?
Its an ok story, but surprised that the idea of forming a thestral wing wasn't ever thought of.
10956157
Did I hear the word "sequel"?!
This is one of those less common stories that shows that, no matter how hard you try, you might not be able to live your dreams due to situations beyond your control, but isn't yours or even anyone else's fault. It sucks when it happens.
But it doesn't mean you can't find something else to push for that you can do.
10957255
hahaha, you may have ;)
10956938
THANK YOU VERY MUCH :D
10954515
I use thestral to refer to bat ponies in all of my fics.
10957368
While it is nice theres irony in one of the "Chosen ones" that can be part of putting the entire nation at risk and picked and chose when to apply the law to their personal friends doing it.
Great story but after how the show ended it makes Rainbow come off as nothing more then a hypocrite considering how many times rules and regs were bent for her and the rest, while not even attempting to find a way to compensate or adapt.
Greetings there! I dont normally spend much time on Fimfiction but I just so happened to be poking around and found this a interesting read. I actually own the OC used in the cover art and It is nice to see how it all came together. really well done here my friend, interested to see more :)
10957617
Thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou!!
10956967
See in the dark. Usually has ecolocation. Ponyfinder (a tabletop) has them with greater carry capability; simply because one tribe has a penalty to strength and i think the other is boosted. They come armed with those teeth. In the tabletop they are more maneuverable in tight places but the show has that nonexistent.
Altitude was overlooked in development and both have the same flight ceiling in the tabletop.
I feel like if it wasn't for the 'eggheads' telling Rainbow Dash that it was physiologically impossible for Vesper to pull off certain maneuvers the Wonderbolts do, she would still be doing everything she could to make Vesper's dream a reality. But since doing so would potentially harm her and the other fliers, RD had to face the truth before bringing this truth to Vesper. I do hope that Vesper doesn't give up though. I'm wondering if maybe she'll discover certain things she could do as a bat pony that pegasi aren't able to do, and then form a group that showcases those unique abilities.
10958529
Poor batbats.
Technically, the show has them effectively nonexistent. For all intents and purposes, their appearance on Nightmare Night could easily have been costumes, or stylistic illusions for the Night Guard.
10967781
I’m not talking about that. Beyond Flutterbat I specified what I was talking about.
10956157
A sequel? When it's ready, would you mind announcing it in a chapter in this story so readers who tracked this can know?
This was very well done. Realistically, too, if the flight surgeon says no, a commander overruling that decision is committing career suicide.
Incidentally, according to both Lauren Faust and Mitch Larson, the bat pones were intended to be their own species, not a costume, but were just never utilized beyond what we saw in Luna’s visit to Ponyville. One of those ideas that kind of slipped through the cracks.