Movie, part 3
Skipping past the guards on my way down the hall, I found the Dungeon/Spa was surprisingly well balanced. Sure it had bars, but they were gilded and the whole place looked more like a resort than a jail. It even had a crystal chandelier and a fountain. Sunny and Izzy were relaxing in massage chairs when I arrived. There was even catering, although it looked like they had gone for variety. Bizarrely, there were even beans. Everything had been placed near the bars, presumably so the guards wouldn’t have to go too far into the cell.
As I approached, just then from the other direction came the white pegasus we’d seen earlier. She paused, looking at me warily, but decided that I was probably here to see the prisoners too.
“Princess? Sentra?” Sunny said, noticing us.
“Just call me Zipp,” the princess replied.
The rest of us introduced ourselves. Zipp revealed why she had visited. “I really need to ask you something important.” She lowered her voice. “About magic.”
“That’s why we’re here,” said Sunny. “Maybe you can tell us how yours works? Izzy has no idea how the unicorns lost theirs, so we thought maybe-”
“Wait, lost theirs?” said Zipp. “As in no magic? Well, that changes things. Listen, I might have some information that could help, but first, you need to tell me about this.” She revealed Sunny’s journal, which had been confiscated by the guards earlier.
“Thank you!” Sunny gasped. “I never thought I’d see it again.”
“Yeah, I can be pretty sneaky when I want to be,” Zipp replied.
“Nice, I'm only medium sneaky,” said Izzy.
I lifted a hoof. “Medium-rare. Wait, I mean-”
Just then, we were interrupted by an electronic fanfare of trumpets. I looked up to see two guards holding up cell phones. Vanity ringtones? What was this, 2005?
They rolled out a literal red carpet for Pipp, who despite no resemblance at all, I figured must be Zipp’s sister and fellow princess.
“What are you doing here?” she said to Zipp. “Mom said to stay away.”
“Right, then why are you here?” Zipp retorted.
Pipp scoffed. “For the content.”
“Way ahead of you,” I said.
Pipp’s lip curled at the sight of me, but she shook her head. “No matter. It’s not a trend unless I set it.”
She scooped some beans from between the bars and dropped the spoonful in a plop on the floor, then stepping forward to take a selfie.
“Uh...what are you doing?” I asked.
“Oh, don’t you know? I’m spilling the beans. It’s only the latest thing.”
“Oh. Oh. Oh my God, I can’t believe-” I broke out laughing, and pulled out my phone, swiping to the gallery. “Oh, don’t you know? I invented it.”
I showed her the picture of Sunny, Izzy, and I back at Sunny’s house, beans on the floor in the background.
Pipp scoffed. “You can’t own anything on social media, didn’t you know that? You invented it? I invented it. Now if you’ll excuse me, dress rehearsals are starting and some of us are actually important ponies.” She walked away, already beginning to do vocal warmups.
“So, about that journal,” said Zipp, pointing to the book she had given back to Sunny. “I have to show you something.” She scanned her hoof on a nearby touchpad and the cell bars released.
“Are you coming, Sentra?” Sunny asked as she and the other two began to sneak away.
I hesitated. I kind of wanted to go cause a scene with Pipp, just because, but...well, that would have been cringey and weird and maybe I had been getting a little too close to the metaphorical line that shouldn’t be crossed and it would be good to take some time and cool off. It’s hard to be this congenial all the time. Plus, whatever Zipp had to show us might be pretty cool.
She led us through the castle, mostly downwards. After a few twists and turns and entries through doors that didn’t look anything more than utility closets, Zipp bent down to open a grate and we dropped down through the hole to an elevator suspended with ropes over a huge open room.
I looked around as Zipp lowered us down. There was a huge board on the wall with arrival and departure information, like an airport or something. Looking around and seeing various large swaths of fabric hanging around the walls, it took me a couple of seconds to put it together. “An airship station?”
“Something like that,” Zipp said. “I’m pretty sure it was for when Earth ponies and unicorns used to visit Zephyr Heights. It’s like everypony just... forgot.”
“This is proof!” Sunny burst out excitedly. “All pony kinds did used to be friends!”
Grammar aside, that really put things into perspective. Not that I hadn’t seen other evidence that Sunny was on the right track, but this was something tangible. There was even a listing for departures to Maretime Bay on the big board.
So maybe Sunny wasn’t crazy. But it did kind of put literally everyone else in a bad light for simply refusing to believe what was apparently documented history. I could sort of understand why Sunny was starting to turn more guerilla.
In examining the room, Sunny uncovered an old poster, of some kind of uniformed pegasi flying. A flying show of some kind? It reminded me of the Blue Angels, and I made a mental note to add something in the notes on the video when I posted it.
Of course I was filming all this. Urban exploration is awesome.
“It must be really weird being the only pegasi that can fly,” Sunny said to Zipp.
“The truth is we can’t fly either,” Zipp admitted. “We’ve been faking it.”
The rest of us gasped. Me, happily, because it meant that I wasn’t a cripple. You should never aspire to be normal, but sometimes having body parts that work right is pretty cool.
Well, okay, not that I was any better off than I had been before, but finding out that I wasn’t abnormal for being flightless was a small consolation.
So, Zipp had just admitted that the royals flying had been all a sham. She sighed. “I’m just so tired of living that ridiculous lie. That’s why I come down here – to get away from all of that. And, well...to do this.”
Zipp activated an electrical panel and a large fan set into the floor began to turn. Maybe it had once been used to launch the airships that used to operate here, but now, Zipp jumped into the airstream, spreading her wings, and the stream of moving air carried her up towards the ceiling.
Sunny and Izzy both let out noises of delighted surprise. I jumped up, waving a hoof. “Oh, oh! Me next!”
I had never experienced one of those parachute simulator things back on Earth, but it wasn’t difficult to just tumble in midair. With a couple of minutes to figure things out, I even managed to figure out controllability with wings.
“You’ve got a larger surface area, but I’m not really sure what to calculate about the skin wings,” Zipp said making a few notes on a nearby chalkboard that was already covered in figures. “But I’m going to have to shut the fan off, now, okay? There was something else we needed to discuss.”
Reluctantly, I glided down and joined the others. Zipp led us over to a towering stained glass window. “This is what I wanted to show you.”
“Oh my stars,” Sunny whispered, holding up her journal to compare the six-pointed star on the cover with a similar design in the glass.
I could feel her slipping into her manic-obsessive mode again. That didn’t seem healthy, but it wasn’t like I was a psychiatrist or something.
“That's the Pegasus Crystal,” Zipp said, pointing to a wing-shaped part of the stained glass. “It’s part of my mom’s crown.”
Sunny quickly determined that there was also a Unicorn Crystal. “Look! They fit together!”
The Unicorn Crystal kind of looked like a coffin to me. I thought that the fit, with the UC nestled with the PC, was tenuous at best. On the other hand, I supposed if anyone would know, it would be Sunny.
“So... what are you saying?” Zipp asked. I would also like to know.
“Maybe the pegasi and the unicorns lost their magic because the crystals were separated.”
“What about the earth ponies?” I said.
“What about us?” Sunny asked.
“I mean, three pony races, why only two crystals? Or...do earth ponies not have magic?”
“I...I never really thought about it,” Sunny admitted. “I mean, we wouldn’t be able to fly or cast spells anyway, so I don’t know.”
“Why don’t we just focus on the two crystals we know about,” suggested Izzy, showing remarkable proactivity for once. “If you're looking for crystals, we’ve got, like, a gazillion of them back in Bridlewood.”
“Then that’s where we’ll go next,” Sunny resolved. She turned to Zipp. “After we get the Pegasus Crystal from your mom, of course.”
At least nobody suggested just asking Queen Haven for it. I mean, maybe we should have - never know when you’ll get lucky - but I was willing to bet it would have been in vain.
“So are these guards actually worth anything, or…?” I asked. “Not that I’m suggesting the four of us would do very well making a frontal assault, but if this goes pear-shaped, what are we up against?”
“Well, their only defense against unicorns is tennis balls,” Izzy pointed out. “I mean, okay, it worked on me, but that’s something.”
“Let’s not start a fight,” Zipp said.
“I agree. It would be easier for you to just snatch it.”
She grimaced. “But my mom doesn’t ever take off her crown. Like, ever.” She paused. “I got it! Pipp’s performing at tonight’s royal celebration. All eyes will be on her, especially my mom’s. She’ll be distracted. So we just need to swap the real crown with a fake.”
“Oooh, I can craft a decoy!” Izzy said. “But I will need a box of macaroni, a tube of glue, fourteen gooey bunnies, and three jelly beans. Oh, and glitter. Lots of glitter.”
“I’ll leave you to that,” I said, taking a step back. “Don’t get that herpes anywhere near me.”
“Oh, would it ruin the edgy image you have, if you sparkled a little?” Sunny said, rolling her eyes.
“Yes.”
“I actually have something you can do for me,” said Zipp, pulling me aside. “I heard you’re a musician, right? Can you do something to make Pipp’s performance extra distracting so all eyes will be elsewhere?”
“Uh...I don’t even know anything about what she’s going to perform and already all I can say is that yes, I can be distracting, but I sense that it might not be exactly what you meant.”
Zipp nodded. “Okay, you sound intelligent enough to know that you might not know everything; that’s a good sign. I’m going to trust you, okay?”
“Ooookay, thanks, I guess, I don’t really trust myself, but I’ll do my best.”
I headed for the throne room, where apparently the concert would be taking place. Seemed like a poor place for it; the stone surfaces probably had horrible acoustics, but what do I know. If Pipp and the royal family were fakers at flying, maybe they also lip-synced.
The ponies that seemed to be arriving for Pipp’s concert did not seem to be the type who would like whatever kind of music it was that I supposedly sang. Most of them didn’t seem to recognize me as a celebrity, but with the looks I was getting, apparently they thought I was somebody. I wasn’t stopped by security.
Not when I wandered backstage, either. I had a look over the shoulder of the ponies running the technical side. I thought I recognized obvious audio equipment, and also something that might have been related to the artificial flying system.
Thinking quickly, I turned to the sound guy and said, “Hey, where do I get a microphone?”
The sound guy looked up. “Who are you?”
“I’m here to duet with the princess.” I showed off the pink Pretty Princess jacket that Sunny had lent me.
“Uh...nobody told me Princess Pipp changed the plans.”
“Well, you know Princess Pipp. She wouldn’t.”
“Don’t I know it.” He rolled his eyes and handed me a microphone.
I turned and took a selfie with the equipment in the background and posted it. Backstage getting ready to perform at the castle! #gonnabelitfam
I heard the music start and hurried back through the curtain. Pipp made her grand entrance, hanging on invisible wires from the ceiling, and launched into a bouncy pop song.
Glowin' up, kind of love
Dip and slide, through the cut
Glowin' up, kind of love
We say "hi", you say "what?"
I had no idea when I would be able to come in, and was kind of hoping I actually wouldn’t, but when the spotlight suddenly switched to me I was totally unprepared.
“Uh…”
I wonder if you know
How they live in Tokyo
If you’ve seen it then you mean it
and you know you have to go
It was the best I could do off the top of my head, it only vaguely fit the music, and I was still hoarse as a horse.
The look on Pipp’s face was amusing, though, and based on the way she didn’t skip a beat on the lyrics, maybe they were lipsynced after all.
The crowd didn’t seem to know what to make of it, but the song went on and so they kept dancing, albeit wearing confused looks.
That wasn’t half as bad as a sudden crash backstage and an abrupt stop to the music. The spotlight spun wildly and came to rest on none other than Hitch Trailblazer, who wore cardboard wings and a fake mustache.
He probably adapted better than I did, though, and immediately threw in his own dance moves.
Throwin' up, find a glove
Fly around, up above
Doin' stuff that I love
You're like, "Why?", I'm like, "What?"
Across the room, I saw Zipp snatch her mom’s crown, accompanied by Sunny and Izzy. A little white puffball of a dog was after them. I vaguely recalled it as belonging to the queen. Also - did that dog have wings? What was with this place?
Hitch apparently spotted them, too. “Freeze!”
“It’s the prisoners!” someone shouted.
Apparently literally everyone saw them, too.
In trying to get clear of the spreading commotion, Pipp got tangled up in the apparent stage wires that had helped her appear to fly
Despite everything else going on, the audience also noticed that one. “She’s a fake!”
I clicked the picture and hammered the post button, and then quickly ran after Zipp, Sunny, and Izzy.
I quickly realized that I was running alongside Hitch headed in the same direction.
“You’re a pegasus!?” he gasped.
“Yes, and as a pegasus I’m offended by your disguise,” I said.
That kept him tongue-tied until we caught up with the others in a dark alley, apparently losing any pursuit in the process.
“Hitch, what are you even doing here?” Sunny asked as we circled up and started to catch our breath.
Hitch approached her, noticeably distancing himself from the rest of us. “Arresting you. And saving you. A little of both, actually. You’re welcome!”
“Wait, hold up,” I said. Everyone looked at me. I pointed to a small creature on the ground near Hitch’s hoof. “Does that mouse have wings!? What’s the deal with that? What’s the deal with this whole city?”
“But anyway, back on topic,” I said, still controlling the conversation. “Arrest, Hitch? I’m pretty sure you’re out of your jurisdiction.” For the second time that day, I subtly turned to show my hip and said, “I would know, I’m a marshal.”
“You’re...wait, what? But I’m not a pegasus, so you wouldn’t have any jurisdiction over me.”
“You were trying to exercise your jurisdiction over Izzy when she came to Maretime Bay,” I pointed out.
“Can we talk about something besides the size of your jurisdictions?” said Sunny.
“Something something my ‘diction is bigger?” I tried.
“If anything, Zipp’s the one with the most authority,” said Izzy. “Her mom’s the queen.”
Just then, a nearby public jumbotron cut to breaking news. This just in - Zephyr Heights is in turmoil tonight after the shocking revelation that the royals cannot fly. Queen Haven has been arrested for being a phony pony full of baloney.
“Wow, Sunny, I bet you didn’t expect to tumble a monarchy this week. Pretty good adventure, if I do say so myself.”
“What are you talking about? This is terrible!” Sunny protested. “How are we supposed to get the three tribes to work together if there’s this much turmoil?”
“Uh...anypony care to explain?” Hitch asked, gesturing vaguely at, well, everything.
“We had to get the crystal, and-” Sunny pulled up short and then began to frantically search the pockets of her bag. “Oh, no, no, no, no! It’s not here!”
“On the bright side, we had so much fun losing it,” said Izzy. “Sentra’s at least right about that: it’s been a pretty good adventure.”
“We have to go back for the crystal!” Sunny fretted.
“It could be anywhere,” Zipp reminded her.
Just then, Pipp stumbled into our midst. She menaced us with the pegasus crystal as much as one could with a rock and demanded, “Somepony seriously needs to explain why this thing was so important that you had to ruin my whole show over it!”
The news report was still going on in the background. A warrant is out for the arrest of the princesses.
“What are they actually charging you with?” I asked. I asked Zipp, specifically.
“Being a phony pony full of baloney,” she sighed.
“Wait, this country actually punishes politicians for lying? That’s awesome!”
Zipp, and especially Pipp, did not look like they thought it was awesome.
“C-come on,” said Sunny. “If we’re going to get started fixing any of this, we need to go find the unicorn crystal, On to Bridlewood.”
Sure, I was down to keep going. There had been no consequences whatsoever to me.
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Just you wait...
“Wait, this country actually punishes politicians for lying? That’s awesome!”
Request for this story to be a little more grounded in reality than its predecessor (not that the first one wasn't great, just thought you writing differently might be a fun change of pace, but its ultimately up to you)
Dude, you did not just use a selfie and a hashtag. 😁 That's a first. I'm surprised Valiant didn't even think of that in the previous story.
11025121
I'm trying.
Yes, yes it is. Even when it's gone down the crapper, Equestria is awesome...
11025210
But will you succeed?
Mine bigger