Le Prince et le Menteur

by CrackedInkWell

Sonata No. 3 - 3rd Movement: Largo

As helpful as his butler was, Langue noticed that Maximilian had changed somewhat. Especially ever since he finally came clean to Blueblood but he’s still his consort. Not that Maximilian suddenly and unexpectedly became cold and cruel (though Langue almost wished he did). Rather, nearly every day since then, his butler relished in the fact that he was right. So… annoyingly right.

It usually starts in the morning at breakfast. As soon as the butler places down the silver tray, he asks the same question - as blunt as can be where Langue convinced himself that Maxamillian must have rehearsed it a thousand times without bursting out laughing. When he first heard him asked that question, it was shocking - offensive even where he could easily fire him on the spot. Yet… he couldn’t do it because he knew what he was asking… and he hated him for being this casually confrontational about it - despite how much of an oxymoron it is.

Every morning, as soon as he pours a cup of coffee into his cup, Maximilian with a joking smile would ask him at point blank range: “​​Allez-vous le renverser ce soir ou allez-vous attendre inhabituellement jusqu'à votre nuit de noces pour cela? (Are you going to buck him tonight or are you going to uncharacteristically wait until your wedding night for that?)”

Langue groaned at that gridding question as he rolled his eyes. “D'accord, je comprends déjà. Tu avais raison. Maintenant, voudriez-vous arrêter de demander ça? (Alright, I get it already. You were right. Now would you kindly stop asking that?)”

“Vous n'avez jamais dit s'il vous plaît. (You never said please.)” Maxamilian chuckled. “De plus, comme je m'occupe de la lessive, il serait bon de savoir à l'avance si je dois me procurer un certain savon pour nettoyer les taches dans les draps. (Besides, since I do take care of the laundry, it would be nice to know ahead of time when I should get a certain soap to clean out the stains in the sheets.)” After setting the cup down, he then dished out the cream and sugar. “Oh, ne me regarde pas comme ça, avec le visage du prince qui suce le tien, ce n'est qu'une question de temps avant que vous ne franchissiez un palier. (Oh don’t look at me like that, with the prince’s face sucking yours, it’s only a matter of time before you two go one step above that.)”

Frowning, Langue placed an elbow on the table and a hoof under his chin. “Tu sais, je devrais te virer pour harcèlement sexuel pour me demander ça tous les matins. (You know, I should fire you for sexual harassment for asking me that every morning.)”

“Pouvez-vous me blâmer? (Can you blame me?)” Maximilian shrugged, “Avouons-le, vous vous rapprochez depuis que vous lui avez enfin dit la vérité. Le Prince surtout. Je m'attends presque à ce qu'il te propose le mariage d'un jour à l'autre. (Let’s face it, you two have been getting closer ever since you finally told him the truth. The Prince especially. I almost expect him to propose marriage to you any day now.)”

The worst part of having your servant be right is that you can’t give anything to rebuttal with. Langue, as skilled as he was at convincing others, has lately found it more difficult to make an argument. Even when the said argument was painfully true.

“Je ne voulais pas que ça devienne si compliqué. (I didn’t mean for this to get so complicated.)” Langue remarked, taking a sip of his piping hot coffee. “D'abord, la réalisation que je pourrais avoir un côté gay dont je n'avais jamais entendu parler. Alors Blueblood me pardonne. Et maintenant, il essaie de me gagner. (First, the realization that I might have a gay side that I never knew about. Then Blueblood forgives me. And now he’s trying to win me over.)”

“Eh bien, parfois c'est comme ça. (Well, sometimes it is like that.)” His butler remarked. “Cela me rappelle un proverbe : l'amour est comme la guerre, facile à commencer, difficile à terminer... et impossible à oublier. (It reminds me of a proverb: Love is like war, easy to start, difficult to finish… and impossible to forget.)”

“Dans mon cas, c'est littéral. (In my case, its literal.)”

“Ce n'est peut-être pas à moi de donner ça, (It maybe not my place to give this,)” Maximilian commented, “Dans mon expérience d'être un majordome pour quelques-uns dans ma vie, j'ai appris que le changement est douloureux. Mais rien n'est aussi douloureux que de rester coincé dans un endroit auquel vous n'appartenez pas. (In my experience as a butler to a few in my lifetime, I’ve learned that change is painful. But nothing is as painful as staying stuck somewhere you don’t belong.)”

After cleaning up a little, the butler excused himself to leave his employer alone with his breakfast.

And every day, though the conversation has varied, it has become increasingly clear that despite how turbulent this role-reversal was - perhaps it might be necessary nonetheless. Blueblood’s kisses were growing on him, and he knew that it would only be a matter of time before the prince would want to take that next, major step. And every day as autumn was inching closer towards winter, there was a part of him that was looking forward to that day if… or when it happens.

---

In some ways, Langue was thankful that things took a more easy-going turn. Nothing too crazy, just a relaxing, tension-relieving dip in the secret hot spring. Letting the hot mineral water gently boil whatever aches away and let them flow out to the waterfall outside.

Outside the air turned colder. Which was expected, being November where frost crept further in every morning. By now the leaves were mostly gone and Canterlot was already making preparations. Not just for winter where snow could fall any day now, but for Hearths Warming as well. It was still warm enough for ponies to still put up the strings of eclectic lights without freezing their hooves off, but it was still too soon to turn any of them on.

Still, while the chaos of getting ready for the next big holiday was going about like an early blizzard, below the two stallions were just taking their sweet time. While outside the air feels so bitingly cold, the cavern had clouds of steam. Every so often, they would feel the puff of icy air that would make the springs not too humid, and not too hot. It is that just right mix of summer warm water with wintery air. All the while, a phonograph near the entrance where their clothes were hung up. The horn sang out the slow movement of a Moztrot keyboard concerto. Its delicate notes reverberate off the cavern walls like an empty theater.

“I can’t tell you how welcoming it is to get all those negotiations settled,” Blueblood remarked. Langue tilted his head to the side where the prince was next to him. A noticeable change from being across the tub to where they were comfortably sided by side. Blueblood rested his back against the bubbling crater, letting his mane hang down and his gaze pointed upwards. Though Langue never said anything, he had noticed for the first time how that golden mane seemed to be getting a bit longer. Perhaps it was his imagination or the way the water flowed, but he could have sworn that the prince hadn’t trimmed it for the past few months.

“And here I thought you liked the Saddle Arabian ambassadors. Didn’t you say they were more flexible and easygoing when it comes to trade and the like?”

“They are. But then they insisted that I stay around longer because they had a new blend of tea they wanted me to try. Then they kept talking and talking, then they wanted to know how Celestia was doing, and they talked some more. Even though I have given them some strong hints that I have someplace to be - ugh! I was afraid I wouldn’t have time for you because they took forever.”

A thought came to Langue, “Cela me rappelle. (That reminds me.) How is the royal family?”

“Which one? Mine or Cousin Cadance’s?”

“Both.”

Blueblood shifted somewhat where it made ripples in the cauldron of a bath they were in where the prince faced him. “I think you have met my Auntie Celestia, have you?”

Despite being in very warm water, Langue shivered. “Once.”

“Well, I don’t know if you know this, but she is impressed by you. Considering that you came clean, she often says that I have managed to make an honest stallion out of you. Perhaps I might try out reforming villains and roughens but… I see that as Princess Twilight’s jurisdiction.”

“I see… And Luna?”

“To be honest, she has thought of our relationship in more or less her guards are - as a tremendous honor to have a strong stallion willing to defend me. Which reminds me. She wants me to tell you if you keep it up, you might enter into knighthood.”

“Moi? Un chevalier? (Me? A knight?) Would I really be a knight or would you use that as… Comment appelles-tu cela? (What do you call it?) Roleplay?”

This got a laugh out of Blueblood, “It would be funny if that was the case. I can almost see it now. Me the prince in distress, and you, the knight in shining, polished armor would come to my rescue.”

“Would said fantasy require you in a dress?”

“I haven’t thought of it but it is giving me some ideas.”

If it weren’t for the previous date, Langue may have raised an eyebrow at that. Sometimes he couldn’t be sure if the prince was joking or being serious. “And your cousin?”

“Cadence? Well, to put it lightly, when I told her that you were a con-pony… let’s say she nearly came close to laying siege to your mansion.”

“.... Was she that upset?”

“That is an understatement. When I told her that you came clean and why - I almost thought she burst into flames.”

---

Nearly a Month ago…

“Cousin! Think of what you’re doing!” Blueblood gripped at Cadence's hind leg for dear life. Trying desperately to slow her down to talk some sense into her.

“He’s dead! Worse than dead!” Cadence declared with a flaming sword in her aura. “That two-faced coltfriend of yours is not going to have lied to your face for the whole summer, manipulate your feelings like a puppet and get away with it!”

“But Cadence!”

“That little sociopath needs to pay! When I get my hooves on that silver-tongued gold digger, I will personally transform him into a gelding, and then I’ll toss his balls into the sea!”

“Cadence, no!”

“Cadence yes!”

“I forbid you to hurt my consort!”

“Hurt him? Oh no, I was thinking along the lines of mutilating him beyond recognition.”

“I command you to stop!”

“You can’t command an irate princess of love that her cousin has been emotionally manipulated! He will know what the cost is to play your heart like a violin by having the Crystal Empire laying siege to his fortress of lies! I will have his heart on a silver platter where I will roast on an open fire!”

“I’m not letting you!”

“I will have my vengeance!”

---

“.... Thankfully Celestia came by and she was able to calm her down.”

“.... Chers dieux! (Dear gods!) She was about to castrate me?”

“It took a lot of convincing, but she did change her mind. I haven’t heard anything from her or her husband since then, but I’m sure she’ll mellow out by Hearths Warming.”

Langue slumped further into the water where his head was visible. “Well… I should be thankful for keeping an irate Princess of Love from me.”

“Speaking of Hearths Warming, I suppose I should let you know ahead of time that the whole family will be getting together - and they want to meet you.”

“Even Cadence that wants my head on a plate?”

“She won’t. I’ll be sure to have Auntie Celestia remind her to play nice.”

“That, or I could come in in a suit of armor in case she decides to mull me to death.”

Blueblood chuckled, “Don’t tell me you’re afraid of her, Langy.”

“Considering that I had plenty of mares that would prefer me to be tied to the stake and be set ablaze, I think I have the right to be cautious.”

“Trust me, once she has cooled off, she will be as sweet as a kindergarten teacher. Also… I don’t think you’ve met her husband, have you?”

“Shining Armor? I’ve heard of him but never met him. All I knew about him was from the royal wedding some years back - the one that nearly ended in disaster.”

The prince gave an uncomfortable laugh. “Understatement of the century! An invasion by the Changelings almost led us to war. Everything turned out alright in the end but still.”

A thought came to Langue. “So where were you when it happened? The papers all mentioned your cousin, her spouse, Celestia, and the Elements… but I don’t recall you.”

“To be fair, I was out of the country at the time. I was in Shanghay on a diplomatic agreement that I couldn’t get out of. I couldn’t have been at the wedding if I wanted to.”

“That also reminds me, with your experience of being a diplomat that got to travel the world, where have you gone to?”

“On top of Saddle Arabia and Shanghay, I have been to Yakyakistan, Zebrabwe, the Griffish Isles, Trotsylvania (that was a weird one), Istally, and Shire Lanka.”

“But never Prance?”

Blueblood shook his head. “I had planned to see it one day, but never got the chance. I’ve learned several languages, taken painstaking research of other cultures, studied world history and the Equinities… yet you would be surprised of how much of the world I still haven’t seen.” Then, after a pause, he asked, “What’s it like?”

“What?”

“Prance. Speaking to someone who was born over there, how do you describe it to someone that has never set a hoof there.”

“That’s like an alien asking you to describe Equis. So while I could answer it, be aware that I’m speaking from my point of view.” Blueblood said he understood. “It’s funny when you are outside of your own country can you notice the difference. For example, in Prance, there is a sense that you are connected to a lot of things. That everything is within walking distance from where you live to the point you feel you are in a community. Where you know the names of the baker who makes your favorite pastry, or the mare down the street that always waters her plants at a certain time before practicing an aria for an opera. We keep ourselves busy too, but we don’t lose track of what’s good in life. Yes, we Prance are very much aware of how disgustingly awful life could be to the point of suicide. Yet… to fall in despair is the easy route where anyone could do it. We take the extra effort to find simple joys. The same way we value fleeting things like flowers or foalhood because they don’t last forever, yet, they are undoubtedly beautiful. We are a rich country, but even the poorest among us take the extra effort to enjoy life.”

Blueblood nodded, “And please don’t think of me overgeneralizing, but is that where the Prench stereotype of valuing love highly comes from?”

“We’re not world-famous for no reason.” Langue laughed. “Even the old kings had entire Hermes… Alright, that’s not quite true, but it might as well be.”

“Personally that seems unnecessary - if chaotic to have so many lovers to juggle all at once.”

“To be fair, it takes practice and skill.”

“Speaking from experience, are we?”

Langue opened his mouth but nothing came out from it.

“Wait, did you date multiple mares at once?”

“Normally I tend to go with one at a time but… I would be lying if I said that I didn’t date a few mares at the same time - that only happened once and it didn’t last long.”

“How many?”

“What?”

“Were you able to…” Blueblood circled a hoof in the air, “You know.”

“At one point, and through complicated events, I was technically dating three all at once - a pair of twins and an actress. However, it quickly fell apart when all three of them realized that I had gone out and slept with all of them. They each responded accordingly with a firm slap across the face.”

Blueblood leaned his head back and let out a breath in the chilly air. “Is it weird that I envy you in that aspect?”

“What?”

“Just… being able to date with whoever you wanted. And before you say anything, yes, I am aware that you used it to trick ponies but still, that fact you could do it at all speaks volumes.”

“I take it that royals are not allowed to date?”

Blueblood hummed in thought, “It’s… complicated. You have to understand that while we can date whoever, we’re doing so in the public eye. Even we are not excluded from this fact.”

“Well, that’s just gossip Blu-Blue.” Langue chuckled.

“More than that, in a way, such a thing can paint a portrait to the public about who you are.”

“.... I don’t follow.”

“For example, take my Aunts. Luna hasn’t taken up anyone in who-knows-how-long. And Celestia had married once before but… let’s say it didn’t go so well.”

“What happened?” He asked, remembering the enormous battle ax that the sun princess claimed to decapitate her Ex-husband with.

“Once upon a time, what was supposed to be a match made in Heaven had turned sour. She had married a prince who at first was charming, sweet, yet practical when it came to political affairs. But as time went on, she found him distant, cold, and secretly was plotting a coup to overthrow her and place himself on the Equestrian throne. He was caught red-hoofed, tried, and found guilty of high treason. So, you can only imagine how irate and humiliated she was.”

“.... Oui, I could only imagine…”

“Then there’s Cadance, who is in a unique position where she doesn’t have centuries of influence or the like to have high expectations on her. To any outsider, her marriage with Shining Armor looks just like your ideal fairy tale romance - complete with an evil queen.”

“Are they?”

“I wouldn’t consider their relationship flawless, but they genuinely love each other and they do try to make it work. Let’s see… Princess Twilight is at the moment a wild card so who knows what’s going to happen when it comes to her relationship - that is, if she has one.”

“And us?”

Blueblood scootched closer, his arm around his consort. “As far as I can gauge, the public sees me as someone who is trying to figure out a new identity since I came out. I suppose in some respects, they’re half right. And you… well, I may influence how you’re framed to the public.”

“I’m not hated, am I?”

“Not exactly, I had it so that you are more of the… prodigal son kind of thing. Someone who had a mysterious, shady past and has come to turn over a new leaf.”

“.... You mean, everyone knows about us?”

“Only since I declared you to be my consort. Why, is that a problem?”

Langue frowned, “Only this is the first time I’ve heard of this. You didn’t ask me to go public.”

“Again, that can’t be helped. As a prince, your relationships - especially official ones - are in the public eye. And again, the good news is that for the most part, they see you in a positive light.”

“But that still doesn’t-”

“-It’s the law that if a royal has a consort that it should be made public. I couldn’t keep this a secret if I wanted to.”

Langue fell silent for a long while as the record from the phonograph had finished. Finally, he said, “I can’t overstate how new this is for me. Not just dating a stallion but being so open about it.”

“I know.”

“It’s going to take me some time to get used to the idea.”

“I know.” Blueblood kissed his neck, just below the jawbone. “But everything will be fine. You will be fine. To Tartarus with fearing the future and come embrace the joys of the present.”

“Chers Dieux, (Dear Gods,) Blu-Blue I swear that you’re turning into a therapist with every time I interact with you.”

“Is it wrong to tend to the mental health of my consort, Langy?”

“I wouldn’t surprise any day now you would want to attend to my other needs.”

“For example?”

“Physical, but it is a leap for me. Kissing you is one thing but I don’t know if…”

“Says the stallion that was convinced was so straight that he enjoyed my simple kisses.” The prince pecked him on the cheek. “Although… there is something I do want to ask, speaking as Prench yourself.”

“That being?”

“Have you ever heard of a Prench Kiss?”

Langue laughed, “Ah oui. Le baiser de l'âme comme j'aime l'appeler. (Ah yes. Soul kissing as I like to call it.)”

“Whatever it is you said, can you show me?”

Having to shift where he sat, Langue faced the prince. “Have you ever kissed anyone in a way that has touched their soul?” Blueblood raised an eyebrow. With a chuckle and a blush on his cheek, Langue reached his dripping hoof behind Blueblood’s head. “Allow me to show how we Prance kiss.”

It was the kind of moment where time had lost meaning where both stallions closed their eyes and felt one another’s lips. Blueblood felt lips and a probing tongue that wanted to be let in. In surrender, or as an open invitation, his lips parted for Langue to explore his mouth. Personal and intimate failed to describe how it felt. One breath left him and entered back, his soul even was caressed and felt like one would with a newborn kitten. The most sensitive part of what it is to be him was touched and handled like the most prized treasure in the world.

And the greatest part of all, it didn’t stop with just him. After a moment where they pulled away for air, Blueblood returned the favor. Even without seeing, he could feel how much Langue trusted him when he parted his lips to let his tongue explore and dance with his. Getting a sense that even when he took the reigns, his consort found pleasure and relief in him.

What felt like they were at it for a thousand years, the stallions parted lips moments later. Panting for air, they opened their eyes to see how much joy it brought to the other. Blueblood’s cheeks were flustered while Langue had a goofy smile.

“Sacre bleu Blueblood!” Langue laughed, “Are you sure you didn’t do this before?”

“Maybe I’m a natural.” The prince said, licking his lips. “You want to do it again?”

“One moment,” Using his magic, Langue cranked the phonograph again and set the needle back to the beginning of the record. A moment later, the brass horn rang out a singing set of violins. “Once more, moi prince, but with vigor.”

“Very well,” Blueblood kissed the tip of his nose. “If this overwhelms you, don’t hesitate to say something.” And with that, he engaged with a deep kiss.

For Langue, it would be very, very easy to give in to lust. It would be easy being alone in a secret cave to go further than a deep, passionate kiss. Even as their bodies were up against one another while the cauldron hot water bubbled around them. But at some point, Langue would have to stop because he didn’t want to do it here, and especially not now. It was in some ways a little too soon.

There would be plenty of time for that sort of opportunity.