• Member Since 3rd Jun, 2019
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Short-tale


T

This story is a sequel to I miss you. Five ever.


Trixie left Starlight after years of marriage. Maud is still recovering from the death of Mud Briar. Maud helps Starlight go through her stages of grief like she was helped. But Maud’s support becomes something more. Is Starlight ready for it? Is she?

Written for the Starlight / Maud/ Trixie Shipping Contest !

Chapters (7)
Comments ( 12 )

I liked this quite a bit, Short. It's a good exploration of the two characters, with some real relationship dynamics and personal growth.

At the same time...I totally wouldn't mind a short epilogue. :D

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The epilogue might become an entire story to itself. I do love my Pies. :pinkiehappy:

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That works too, and I was thinking of suggesting that, hah.

But I couldn’t say something I didn’t believe. I couldn’t get Starlight’s hopes up like that. I wasn’t Pinkie.

very relatable! i could definitely see myself as Maud here

The smell of feldspar was much calmer. But I didn’t have any and feldspar doesn’t make tea you can drink.

that is too bad! feldspar sounds nice

If Starlight needed something solid, I could be that boulder.

a nice, straightforward setup. could definitely see Trixie unable to handle this kind of jealousy in particular, and Maud's muted reactions feel very in line with the overly detached and formal narration. let's see where this goes

“Mmm. Morning, Trix,” the groggy voice behind me said.

aww, that is a sad echo

I didn’t know what to do. My mind froze. This was not something I went through with Applejack.

oof, Starlight is a mess right now, and i guess they both are! good for Maud for having the sense to stop things, despite her emergent feelings"

There were a lot of shattered teacups, and they all looked the same. I never understood why Trixie needed so many.

ah, right, Maud wasn't around for that adventure!

Was I ready for that? Why did I want to stay here so much? It wasn’t a rock-based decision.

nice callback to the way Maud used to make life decisions

C’mon, Maud, you’re not exactly…poniable?

i've been looking for a pony version of this word!

“It made me wonder,” her voice took an unusual tone. It was both inviting and somehow unsettling. “Do you have soft spots?”

such a smooth way for Starlight to do this

Her breath was slow and gentle. Until the snoring started. It sounded like two boulders grating against one another. I found it soothing.

well if there ever were a sentence that makes an OTP!

Popping is bad. She fills up some sort of air and then rains confetti all over the place.

that is, indeed, bad, and very Pinkie

It was strange to dance to the door with the impending feeling of doom on you. One way or another my little fantasy bubble was going to change.

aww! we'll see where this goes

“I can bend a balloon in any shape you want,” the pony shouted with a wink. It made me shudder. It felt like he was trying too hard. What had Starlight told him? “So, what shape do you want?”

“A rock.”

“A rock?!”

“A rock.”

The pony looked at me like I had two heads. I got that a lot. He didn’t get me. He wasn’t the first.

yep, that's about how i expect a date between Maud and Party Favor to go!

I was in the middle of a triple spin when I noticed Night Flyer and Starlight’s forms by the door.

it's nice to see this callback to Maud's unexpected ice skating abilities!

“Okay,” Starlight’s voice was barely a whisper. “Then I’ll help you first, and then you can help me.”

oof, yeah. still feels a bit unhealthy and unresolved, but people making decisions like this is realistic at least

After a few minutes of shock she whirled on me. Her face was contorted in agony and anger. “I hope you’re happy now, Maud! You took my wife and home from me! So congratulations, you won. I bet Mud Briar would be real proud!”

oof! this unhealthy StarTrix does definitely remind me of some unhealthy couples i've known, and this would be the perfect thing for Trixie to say to twist the knife

One of the tiny crabs made a display of dominance towards my snout. I didn’t react. After a while, it gave up and declared victory to its peers. The others cautiously returned after the brave hero vanquished the unmoving monster—only to scatter again when another set of hoofsteps rang out through the cavern.

this was a nice, cute mini-story in the middle of Maud's nadir, a nice touch for contrast

She looked back at me and beamed, then winked. She tried to stride out of the cave valiantly, but lost her footing on the uneven crags. She rolled out of the cave and plopped into the soft sand. “Trixie is okay.”

aww! this was a very sweet way for Trixie to leave the story

“You can miss what you haven’t fully lost. But I suspect you mean my physical presence—”

i see why you had Maud take the sudden turn at the end of the last chapter, because this exploration of Mud Briar as a simulation in Maud's dying mind is a great idea to explore! classic catharsis trope, especially with the physical location being a cave filling with water. and this Mud Briar was very good, with his voice and characterization spot-on. i would say this exchange was the highlight of the entire fic for me.

I smiled.

and that is a nice conclusion


so there were a lot of great pieces here! mostly concentrated at the end, with Mud Briar and Trixie's contributions, but there were nice little touches throughout. and the idea of learning to share hearts with past partners is a very good note to end on. thanks for writing!

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Thanks for all the feedback, Bike. I appreciate the time it took to go through it like that. I hope you continue to enjoy the story as it continues.

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