Chapter 7
“Maud.”
I didn’t want to open my eyes. I knew that voice. If I opened my eyes he would be gone again. I didn’t want that emptiness back. I wanted to believe in the dream.
“I’m not a dream, Maud. Technically, I am a manifestation of your subconscious resulting from your anoxic brain injury.”
“Mud Briar?” I cautiously opened my eyes and saw the pony I missed more than anything. I wanted to rush to him, but displays of affection were something he’d never understood.
“Indeed. The idea of physical interaction is tolerable at best. At worst, it’s a distraction from the true feelings underneath it. Ponies focus so much on pleasure that they forget it’s supposed to mean something.”
“But that’s not why you avoided it.”
“Correct. I found the touch of another unsettling. The strange chemical reaction it produced in me unsettled me further.”
“So why are you here? Am I going with you?” I felt a mixture of fear and elation at the idea. To finally be with him again meant I could feel whole once more. But regret at leaving my loved ones behind was extremely painful.
“Technically, we haven’t gone anywhere. I am in the deep recesses of your mind. So in that way, you are with me now. But also, because of that, you are always with me. Correction: The proper verbiage would be, ‘I am always with you.’”
It was definitely him. But I could feel the question burning in my soul. “Where are you, then?”
“I am in the ground where you put me, of course. Unless you wish to debate the possibility of the soul, or the consciousness of a pony after their body no longer functions.”
“You never believed in those,” I sighed.
“True, although recent events might have led me to different conclusions. However, because I am a mere manifestation, I can not confirm or deny that. I am only aware of what you are aware of.”
“So, why are you here, then?”
“Because you need me. You are fighting for your life in a cave, and losing heart because of an absurd notion that I am judging you in my ‘soul’ or ‘mass consciousness’ state.”
“I just…”
“Did I ever judge you in life?”
I stopped my thoughts. I had always said that Mud Briar worked on the concept of acceptance. He allowed me to feel, and occasionally express myself physically, while I allowed him his time of solitude. It was a symbiotic relationship: The love we shared grew naturally because of our mutual respect. There were very few expectations, and we were never disappointed if the other couldn’t meet them. Judgement was simply not a part of what we shared. It was more like discernment—trying to find the optimal way to express our mutual affection.
“So,” the manifestation continued, “why would I judge you in what many argue is a more advanced state of being? Should such a state exist.”
“But I am not being faithful,” I rebutted. “I am falling in love with another pony. I don’t want to lose you completely.” There was panic in my statements. I was losing his love.It was something I knew I could barely hold on to, like trying to catch the breeze in a jar to enjoy it later.
“Maud. You never failed to love me. I will always be there in symbolic form. You have a large capacity for love. It is natural and beautiful, and you can share it with others. It is a gift that should not be wasted. That would be like a seed failing to grow into a tree.”
“Or a piece of corundum failing to form a ruby despite ample heat and pressure.”
“I believe you have been experiencing both of those phenomena recently.” There was no humor nor annoyance in his voice, he was simply stating raw facts. Those things together should produce a ruby; or, in this case, a relationship. It would be a waste if it didn’t.
“You are correct again,” he said, stealing my thoughts. “Let your ruby form. And my roots will forever be embedded in you. But nothing will happen if you don’t regain consciousness and get out of the cave. I mean that literally, not metaphorically.”
I nodded. “I miss you.”
“You can miss what you haven’t fully lost. But I suspect you mean my physical presence—”
Anything else he said was lost in a wave of water and sound. The ocean was crashing through the cave entrance, and my limp body was being pulled with it. I couldn’t tell what was around me. My face was continually in and out of the water, which made it impossible to orient myself. I was also cold.
“Maud! You have to help us,” Trixie cried as she pulled on my midsection. Her bright blue hooves encircled me and I could begin to tell another part of ones were around her. “Come on, Maud. Kick, or paddle, or something! Oh, please don’t be dead.”
I knew I was in a weakened state, but I used my rock-shattering hooves and kicked at the water with as much power as I could muster. Each leg felt like it was made of the same granite I was surrounded by, but I forced them to move anyway. Starlight needed me. And I needed her.
“She’s kicking! She’s moving!” Trixie cried. “She’s…too strong, I can’t stand up anymore!”
My body pushed Trixie and Starlight over into the rising sea. I just kept kicking until I could feel the sand under me again. I laid down on the dry sand and watched it explode in large tufts with each breath.
“Maud! Sweet Celestia, I was so worried.” Starlight’s voice filled my ears and her weight slumped over my back.
“Don’t worry, Trixie is fine,” snarked the grumbling unicorn.
“Sorry Trix, I just—”
“It’s fine. Go be with your girlfriend.” The magician stood up and started brushing the sand from her cape and hat. She kicked more sand onto it in the process. “Trixie is just happy you’re okay. That you both are okay.”
Starlight nuzzled her tear soaked face into mine. Her weight shifted into a clinging hug. “Don’t scare me like that. Please. Please say you want to stay with me.”
“I do.”
“Tell me you do.”
“I want to stay with you, Starlight.” The pressure of her hug approached strangling levels. It was almost as intense as one of Pinkie’s hugs. Almost.
“You weren’t trying to… to… join Mud Briar, were you?”
“No. Mud Briar is always with me. I can’t join him if he’s already here. You’ll have to share my heart with him. I can’t give you more than that.”
“I…” she took a shuddering breath. “I can do that. You’ll have to share my heart too. With Trixie,” Starlight choked and a sob caught in her throat. “Just, you know… past-Trixie.”
I nodded. I rolled on to my back and looked up at her. That beautiful, careworn face shined back at me as the sun set behind her. She smiled and the world felt whole again.
I smiled.
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I liked this quite a bit, Short. It's a good exploration of the two characters, with some real relationship dynamics and personal growth.
At the same time...I totally wouldn't mind a short epilogue. :D
10950022
The epilogue might become an entire story to itself. I do love my Pies.
10950085
That works too, and I was thinking of suggesting that, hah.
i see why you had Maud take the sudden turn at the end of the last chapter, because this exploration of Mud Briar as a simulation in Maud's dying mind is a great idea to explore! classic catharsis trope, especially with the physical location being a cave filling with water. and this Mud Briar was very good, with his voice and characterization spot-on. i would say this exchange was the highlight of the entire fic for me.
and that is a nice conclusion
so there were a lot of great pieces here! mostly concentrated at the end, with Mud Briar and Trixie's contributions, but there were nice little touches throughout. and the idea of learning to share hearts with past partners is a very good note to end on. thanks for writing!
11018182
Thanks for all the feedback, Bike. I appreciate the time it took to go through it like that. I hope you continue to enjoy the story as it continues.
Nice~
Yes. Thank you. This is a beautiful story.
Just finished reading this.
Time to praise you and stuff! This was such a lovely read and it was just as heartfelt as I miss you. Five ever! And I very much enjoyed that one too! Although I wish this were longer and had a little more Pinkie or brought back the realistic dreary tone the first fic had... everything still felt perfect. Yeah, eighty percent of this was Maud and Starlight building their relationship and talking, but maybe that's a good thing. Who am I to say? I like how I miss you. Five ever felt like grief while this felt like... acceptance. I can't wait to read the third story which will most likely focus on the healing process of loss. I love this! The ending made me smile with Maud and I wanted to cry.
Here, this heart
emoji, Short. It represents how much I adore this story and have two more 
just because.
11444837
The third story is mostly about family and acceptance.