• Member Since 25th Oct, 2016
  • offline last seen 3 hours ago

Huk


"Consequences… Give a person a situation with no consequences and you’ll see the real them… Every time."

T

Twilight's first blind date is a total success... until her companion asks her to do something dirty. But hey, everyone is doing it! ... right?


Meta:

Cover based on the images from:
https://derpibooru.org/images/1753239

Proofread by Ginger and Grammarly :duck:

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 9 )

That is hilarious.

Huk

10956196

It's one of those stories to get you back to writing after a long writers' block. I know it's not as good as some of the past comedies I wrote, but I hope it made you laugh :twilightsmile:.

Canter’s smile widened for a second, but seeing genuine confusion on Twilight’s face, it quickly began to fade. This was a joke; it had to be! There is no way anyone—let alone a princess—be this oblivious. He tried again

:rainbowlaugh:

Poor Canter. He has a lot to learn about Twilight Sparkle. Also, Spike is a dead dragon.

In all, this story was pretty funny. One bit of constructive criticism about this paragraph.

“Starlight says to go ahead and give him that blowjob!” Twilight paled. “Or if you’re not up to it, then I can do it! Or she can come down and do it! But for Celestia’s sake, tell him to get his darn hoof off the intercom! Some creatures are trying to sleep here!”

That paragraph threw me for a loop because it has "Twilight paled", but nothing about how it was Spike saying everything, so for a moment, I thought it was Twilight, yet it couldn't have been her. Maybe something like "Spike yelled, causing Twilight's hair/fur/coat to turn pale" or something similar would have worked?:unsuresweetie:

Huk

10956308

Glad you enjoyed it :twilightsmile:

As for the criticism... Yeah, now that I re-read it, I think you're right; it can confuse the reader. I removed the 'Twilight paled' part - hopefully, it should be clearer now :unsuresweetie:.

10956334

To be fair, it was relatively easy to piece together who was talking, but it was just a bit jarring seeing "Twilight paled" in a spot where 99 times out of 100, would have been signaling that it was Twilight speaking.

Overall, a small "issue" really, and it could have been something far worse than that.

I knew that was familiar, I remember that advert.

HAHAHA I remember that commercial too.

This was great. And, oddly, no one was really out of character.

And this is not the first story I’ve read pointing to a Twilight with *ahem* extreme bibliophilia. And I think it really might be my new favorite ship.

Huk

10957579

I mean, Twilight having a rather... weird connection with books was somewhat hinted even in the show itself, in season 9:

Twilight Sparkle: A late book is a big deal, Spike. What if Dusty Pages revokes my library card? Or bans me from ever entering the building again?!

Spike: Don't you already have most of those books in your collection at home?

Twilight Sparkle: Yes, but the ones in there have a special Canterlot Library-y smell!

Spike: You sniff books?

Twilight Sparkle: You don't? [...]

Who knows what else see does with them :trollestia:

That was a lot funnier than I though it would be.

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