After she suddenly falls from the sky Rainbow Dash is in constant excruciating pain. Though her friends' efforts to cure her fail, the answer to her problem is found in a long-kept and momentous secret.
This short story is the precursor to Aldea Donder's fabulous epic "Alicorn." It was originally posted on deviantArt on January 27, 2011. Some minor corrections have been made since.
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how long until someone asks if the title's a fnf reference
Mommy Mearest?
10951627
Just did
10951627
Heh, I'm too old to get that reference (and I can't even get it to run properly). The title was a play on the title Mommy Dearest (1981), but this story has no relation to the movie really.
While this story has room for improvement, on the whole, I enjoyed it. The biggest problem I had with it was the premise, which was just a little too fanfictiony for my tastes. That, and Celestia feeling a bit out-of-character in both her words and actions. Beyond that, the execution was well done. I normally don't like stories this dark, but you managed to keep it toned down enough to not feel distasteful. Your prose was good, although I might have been a little bit more descriptive in certain places if I were you. You had some punctuation errors and some LUS in there, but it wasn't enough to be distracting.
10952695
To be fair, this story's "fanfictiony" nature might just stem from the fact that it was originally written literally over a decade ago (which might also help explain Celestia being "OOC"). I reckon the premise was at least a mite more novel back then.
Either way, I'd say I enjoyed it.