Interesting concept. I shall be following this, and I can't wait to see what happens next.
Hope Twi and the rest of the girls can atone for their crimes against humanity and be redeemed/saved at the end of this
Although I'll admit to being worried about (IMHO) Best Pony AJ,

And as far as I'M concerned, Celestia deserves HER fate.

Anyway, again, looking forward to the next chapter, and beyond!

10965665
im pretty sure twilight and pinkie are the ones more likely to be able to redeem themselfs and possibly help build a better world but applejack and rainbow i think are going to be in for a long while of misery. i dont know if rarity would be on either side kinda depends on what happens next for her

10965721 Definitely agree with you on all points.
And with AJ and Dash, you're likely right.
Because as much as I do love them both (and especially AJ), they (and most especially AJ!) can be two of the most STUBBORN knotheads imaginable!
As to Rarity?
Well, I'll admit she's NOT one of my faves among the Mane 6 (she ranks at #6 in the lineup), but I don' t think she's as shallow as she seems at times, and I think she may very well redeem herself before AJ and Rainbow do.

Just have to wait and see.

10965727
the reason im not sure about rarity is because im pretty sure this is the universe where her husband and unborn child where killed in the conflict so knowing celestia lied and what she did doesnt fix that but insted makes her have become attached to neither side. she seems more likely to redeem than Applejack and rainbow but she might be better off staying with fluttershy to heal

You should pass this off to an editor or use Grammarly. There's a lot of errors, run-on sentences, and paragraphs. You also need to space out the lines properly. I can't tell who was talking without straining my eyes. The overall concept is good. Having Celestia and the mane five pay for their sins as humans is a good idea.

10965731 Very good point, that.

So...Celestia is alive and has to become a human?

10965769
No bull, a lot of the grammar stuff is because the site wouldn't let me post the original version. I think it had to do with having multiple characters talk in one paragraph, which is hard when you're writing mass spirit conglomerates. Anyways, long story short I just sort of put in as many spaces as possible and hoped for the best.

You definitely need some Grammarly, but you have excellent bones here. I think this is a start to a great story, I’m curious to see where it goes.

cool story full of hatred!!! me likey

10966215
no, worse. She's now a revenant. She cannot die, she has to carry all her sins for many more years before she's allowed death

10966772
Ah...I going to check this story out. This sound's interesting.

I like the concept, but a little heavy handed. I'd suggest looking into how paragraphs are structured in other stories. It's a little hard to read dialogue when it was formed into a meatball of a paragraph.

The concept works, and I know a few people who wanted to see a story like this, but I think you need to go through a lot of editing with this chapter for reasons others people have mentioned already.

I love this so much.
The only downside I have to say is that Martin came out of nowhere at the end. How did he get out of the dungeons? And it seemed a little odd for him to tell Fluttershy, 'It's time to go home.' as the situation was more of a 'It'll be okay.' consoling type.

Other than that, amazing.
May A Cup Of Tea Always Be By You.

10965721
10965727
We've all made the joke about "wait, it's literally illegal to go around without clothes? Why did I ever live anywhere else?"

10968050 Very true.

10966772

Great idea, let's turn the once godlike xenophobic maniac ruler into an immortal, tormented vampire despised by everyone; also unquenchable thirst for blood and a top model figure by day to potentially entice prey.

I'm sure she won't become a problem in the future. Or even the equivalent to RWBY Salem.
Or, more likely, will end like this fella:

My only notes are that the paragraphs are too long. Try breaking them up a bit more.

Secondly, when one character is speaking, the next character shouldn't have their dialogue on the same sentence.

Things like,

“Girls.. w-what’s going on?” Asked Pinkie whose last bit of rainbow energy was being sapped from her and onto the big ball that was surrounding Fluttershy, she was clearly afraid. Twilight grunted as she made another attempt at standing, “I- don’t urgh.. I don’t know Pinkie this hasn’t happened before!”,

Should look like,

“Girls.. w-what’s going on?” Asked Pinkie whose last bit of rainbow energy was being sapped from her and onto the big ball that was surrounding Fluttershy, she was clearly afraid.

Twilight grunted as she made another attempt at standing, “I- don’t urgh.. I don’t know Pinkie this hasn’t happened before!”,

*smacks lips*

Jesus fucking Christ

10969465
Maybe she doesn't really need to drink blood. Maybe they meant everything she drinks will TASTE like blood, as punishment for all the blood she spilled.

You've turned him into The Spectre. That's cool.