Letting Go Of The Reins

by applebatofalltrades

Two Truths and a Lie

Everything sucked and Applejack hated it.

She was irrationally upset. She knew it was irrational, but still, she couldn’t help feeling it. And the worst part was that she swore she would stop feeling that way.

When Apple Bloom informed her of what was going on, though? All those feelings came back. Applejack scowled as she let her fingers linger on the keyboard.

She knew that Strawberry had been helping out at the ranch. She didn’t particularly like the idea of that, but whatever, it was good to have another pair of legs back home, especially since Strawberry wasn’t exactly a stranger.

But hiring her? Paying her money? What was the use of that? They boarded her horse. She paid them for that, so why would they pay her to give a hand? Why should they? Applejack definitely didn’t want to get into the logistics of it with Apple Bloom, and she also didn’t want to start up another talk about what kind of a person Strawberry was.

It’s not like it mattered anymore, anyway. Strawberry made it clear she didn’t want anything to do with Applejack. Hey, maybe she was even glad that Applejack wasn’t home. Then she wouldn’t have to run into her. In all honesty, Applejack thought that Strawberry might have chosen to leave her family alone altogether, but nope. Apparently, it was just Applejack she had an issue with.

Though, Applejack couldn’t exactly blame her. If she was Strawberry, then she would definitely hate herself, too.

She wasn’t exactly sure what to say in response to Apple Bloom, so she decided to just call her. It was easier to just talk, anyway. Texting was stupid. Applejack picked up her phone and hit dial, hoping that Apple Bloom wasn’t too busy. To be fair, if she was busy, she wouldn’t be texting Applejack in the middle of the day.

The line rang for only a few moments before it clicked and Apple Bloom’s voice came through the speaker. “Applejack!”

Applejack didn’t want to immediately put a damper on the conversation, so she smiled even though her sister couldn’t see her. “Heya Bloom. How’s it going?”

“It’s fine, I guess. Lots of work,” she explained, though Applejack already knew that. “Weather’s been really nasty! I know you’ve seen it. The storm last night completely blew the roof off the shack and now some of the feed in there’s all wet.”

Applejack frowned. That was definitely not good. “Y’all gotta fix the roof as soon as possible. Is everyone alright?”

Apple Bloom actually laughed a bit. “Everyone’s fine, you gotta stop your fussin’. Macky and Strawb are out fixin’ the roof as we speak and I’m trying to figure out what to do with this feed. It’s perfectly good, just wet.”

At the mention of Strawberry, Applejack’s lip twitched a bit, but she decided to put that conversation off for just a moment. “Didja feed the horses in the barn yet?”

“Most of ‘em, a couple haven’t had their lunch yet.”

“Give it to the older horses first,” Applejack told her. “Have you fed Bingo and Roan yet?”

Bingo and Roan were Applejack’s parent’s horses. Bingo was her mother’s horse—a chestnut quarter horse—while Roan was her father’s horse—a, unsurprisingly, bay roan quarter horse. Her dad had never exactly been the most creative with naming, and it had become a bit of a joke between his friends in the circuit. It certainly didn’t help when he and his wife named their first child after him.

The pair of horses were getting up there in age, so Applejack liked to give them their feed along with the supplements and soak it all to make sure they were hydrated.

“No, I’ll give it to them, then. It ain’t a lot.”

Well, that was settled at least. There was still the big thing, though. Applejack didn’t want to talk to Apple Bloom about it, though. She was just a kid. But she did have to at least bring it up. “Hey, Bloom?”

“You’re gonna ask ‘bout Strawberry Sunrise, ain’t ya?”

Was she really that predictable? Applejack rolled her eyes at no one. “I wanted to ask… Why is she still there?”

Apple Bloom sighed. “She offered to help us since you’ve been gone.” She didn’t say it in an accusatory tone, but it still stung. “Applejack, I know y’all have your differences, but really, can’t you just put ‘em aside? She’s doing a good thing for us.”

So, Strawberry hadn’t told Apple Bloom about that conversation they had? Applejack wasn’t sure if she was glad or upset. On one hand, she was glad to leave her family out of that, but on the other, she wondered why Strawberry wouldn’t take the opportunity to make Applejack look bad if she really was that upset. She supposed it didn’t really matter. She might as well just come clean about it since Big Mac already knew, and if Apple Bloom was disappointed, well then, that was just one more to add to the list.

“We kinda had a… argument,” Applejack told her. She frowned at her laptop as she remembered how that day went down.

“Okay? Ya say it like it’s new for you two.”

While maybe Apple Bloom meant it in a humorous way, Applejack couldn’t help but feel a little bit ashamed. “No, not like that. She got… real upset at me. I’m surprised she’s even at the ranch if I’m bein’ honest.”

Apple Bloom sucked in air through her teeth. “That bad?”

“Eeyup.”

“Look, I can’t say I’m surprised, sis. I’ve been tryna tell ya that she’s a fine person, but ya never listen. Not to me, not to Fritter, not even Strawberry herself. Only one you listen to is Big Mac, and it ain’t like he’s barkin’ very many orders.”

Applejack chuckled dryly. “I’m supposed to be the big sister,” she muttered with defeated amusement. “Now what are you doin’ givin’ me advice?”

Apple Bloom returned the laugh, though it was only a single ‘hah’. “Well, I’m sorry to hear it. But the fact that she’s still here means somethin’, right?”

Yeah, that she wants the money, sure, Applejack thought bitterly. She didn’t want to say that to Apple Bloom, though. “Maybe.”

“C’mon, she’s been nothin’ but friendly. I dunno what happened between y’all but I’m sure it ain’t nothing you can’t work out.”

Applejack really doubted it, but it was still somewhat comforting. Though, maybe it was for the best. She always wanted Strawberry to leave her alone, and now she was doing exactly that. “Well, she’s… at least she ain’t takin’ it out on y’all.” Lord knows I would be.

“She ain’t like that,” Apple Bloom promised. “I think she likes being ‘round Whippy more. And, uh, she’s also kinda been helpin’ with Barley.”

Helping with Barley? Her horse? Applejack frowned. Big Mac swore he wouldn’t let her touch Barley. “What?”

“I know! I knew you wouldn’t like it, but he’s been so in-cooperative.” Apple Bloom paused for a moment and the only noise on the other end was some muffled thuds and sloshing. Applejack figured she was finishing up her chore. Some rustling told her that Apple Bloom had once again picked up the phone before continuing. “Like, he just… he won’t let me ride him anymore. He gets all uppity, and I know he’s just like that, he only listens to you but…”

Great, now Barley was a problem, too. All because he only ever listens to Applejack. That was just perfect. She really really didn’t want Strawberry to mess with him, but she didn’t want Apple Bloom to get hurt on account of Barley. “Well… I guess it’s fine, then,” Applejack conceded. She didn’t really even have a good reason to not let Strawberry near Barley other than… well, nothing. Nothing real. “Just don’t get near him if he’s being difficult, Bloom. I don’t want you gettin’ hurt.”

“Okay, I won’t,” Apple Bloom agreed, albeit a bit hesitant. “But he’s fine with Strawberry. I dunno why, maybe it’s ‘cause Whippy likes her.”

That sort of made sense. Whippy and Barley seemed to get along well enough. Sometimes a little too well. “Just be careful. Though, I gotta ask, is Fritter busy or something? She’s usually pretty eager to help out.”

“She can’t leave her home right now. Storm did some pretty nasty stuff over there, too,” Apple Bloom explained. “Nothin’ major, but Fritter says she’s gotta stay home and focus on repairin’ damages. We got off it pretty lucky.”

“Oh, yeah, that makes sense.” Applejack frowned. She hoped nothing happened to their stables. They had just gotten that fixed up a few months ago. “Doesn’t Strawberry have somewhere to be?”

“Not that she’s mentioned. And I’m sure she’d’ve told us.”

Huh. That was a bit strange. “Well, I guess, uh, tell Strawberry thanks. For helpin’ out.”

“You want me to tell her thanks?” Apple Bloom sounded incredulous. Like she couldn’t believe it.

That made Applejack put on a bit of a confused grin. “Yeah? I guess?”

“Wow, sis. You really messed up this time, didn’t ya?”

Applejack rolled her eyes, but despite Apple Bloom kidding, she was a lot more right than Applejack wanted to admit. Instead, she figured she’d change the topic into something she hadn’t really had the opportunity to ask Apple Bloom about. “Alright, alright. Just tell her, okay?”

“Sure. I will. I think she’ll appreciate it.”

That didn’t sound too likely anymore, but Applejack didn’t want to contest it. “Maybe. Hey, Bloom, can I ask you ‘bout something?”

“Uh, yeah, sure! Just give me a sec.”

There was some more rustling and some muffled talking, which probably meant that Apple Bloom had gone to talk to someone. After a couple more moments, during which Applejack thought about how to breach the subject, Apple Bloom shut a door. “Okay, sorry. Was just tellin’ Big Mac I was gonna get started on homework and talk to ya.”

Homework. Okay, that made it easier. It was sort of on the right track. “He okay with that?”

“Yup, he says he’s fine with just Strawb,” Apple Bloom told her. “Anyway, what’d you want to ask?”

“Remember back, uh, before everything? When you told us that you were offered a spot on the Eastern Equestrian Junior Prospect Rodeo Team?”

Apple Bloom hesitated even as she answered. “Yeah. What about it?”
“Have you thought on it?” Applejack remembered how excited Apple Bloom was when she told everyone the good news. “I’ve been lookin’ into it and the decision deadline is at the end of the month.”

“Uh, kinda. I just… I dunno, I don’t think it’s the right time,” she admitted.

A weight dropped in Applejack’s stomach. Or at least, that’s what it felt like. “What? Why not?” She frowned as she came to the realization that she was probably why. “N-no, Bloom, c’mon. Ya can’t let an opportunity like that go to waste just ‘cause I…”

She couldn’t even finish her sentence.

“No, Applejack, it–it ain’t that,” Apple Bloom interrupted, though it wasn’t much of an interruption since Applejack hadn’t finished her sentence to begin with. “I just, I don’t wanna leave home! There’s a lot to do ‘round here, plus all that’d be so much money and…” It was Apple Bloom’s turn to cut herself off. She definitely knew how that sounded, which only made Applejack feel guilty. “I wanna step up more around the ranch. I’ve got a lot I can learn ‘bout how we do things here. And y’know what? M–maybe rodeo ain’t the right move for me, anyway.”

How could Apple Bloom say that? She loved rodeo! She always had! She was always so excited to do her events, even back when her ‘event’ was just mutton busting. Hell, she was so damn excited for Appleoosa that she hardly slept the entire night. All she could think of was beating her P.B. She was so eager for that weekend.

But, of course, that weekend had been promptly ruined. Maybe it wasn’t just the weekend that was ruined for Apple Bloom. Maybe…

“When’s the last time you practiced your barrel run?” Applejack asked her quietly, hoping that Apple Bloom would prove her wrong. She was met with silence that proved the opposite. “Pole bendin’? Ropin’? H–have you even thought about if you’re gonna steer ride?”

That seemed to get through to Apple Bloom. “No! I–I haven’t! I mean, I haven’t practiced any of that. And I don’t wanna do steer ridin’ anymore. God, why would you think I’d want to?”

“Apple Bloom—”

“Look, I don’t care what you say, I don’t wanna do it no more. I don’t have the time for it, anyway. There’s a lot to do on the ranch, Applejack. With or without you, there’s always been so much.” Apple Bloom sighed, but her tone didn’t ease. “Even if I wanted to, I can’t. I’d rather use my time for somethin’ useful, and it’s about time I got to learnin’.”

It was exactly what Applejack hoped wouldn’t have happened. Apple Bloom gave up. She got scared, and she was locking up. She was just like her older sister, and that wasn’t anything to be proud of. “No, Apple Bloom. You’re too young for all that. You should take their offer.”

“Ya can’t tell me what to do, Applejack. I ain’t a little kid. I’m turnin’ fifteen in a week.”

She wanted to disagree, to say that fifteen was still just a kid. That Apple Bloom was going to be her baby sister forever. That she’d always be little.

But then she thought about when she was Apple Bloom’s age. She didn’t feel like much of a kid, then, either. At least, not after that summer. She’d been forced to grow up all of a sudden, to do more chores and push everything down and take care of her kid sister when she was only just a kid herself. She hadn’t even considered herself to just have been a child back then. She felt all grown up. All ‘mature’. Bullshit.

She didn’t want the same for Apple Bloom. She didn’t want Apple Bloom to feel like she wasn’t a kid because then she’d regret missing out on her childhood for the sake of racing to adulthood. She didn’t want Apple Bloom to be such a depressed mess. She didn’t want Apple Bloom to bottle up everything for the sake of taking care of things, to pretend it was okay. She didn’t want Apple Bloom to be the kid in her class who had to take some stupid pills just to feel like she could smile and be normal.

Apple Bloom was a kid, and that was okay. She shouldn’t be thinking about how to step up on the ranch just because they had one less pair of legs around. She shouldn’t be worried about her older sister’s failed interpersonal relationships. Apple Bloom should be happy about her accomplishments, she should focus on school and her friends, and she should do whatever she does because she wants to, not because she needs to.

And with all that in mind, Applejack couldn’t help but scowl. Not at Apple Bloom, not at what she said, but at herself. Hell if she was going to be the reason her sister ended up like her. “You’re still a kid, Bloom. And that’s just fine. Don’t be in a rush to grow up.”

“I ain’t in a rush,” Apple Bloom countered, suddenly softening up. “I–I just… I dunno. I’m scared. I want you to talk to me more. Not just ‘bout you, but ‘bout everything, the ranch, the money, whatever. I can take it. I’m a part of this family too!” With those last few words, Apple Bloom’s voice shook a little. She grew uncharacteristically quiet for a moment. “Just… what if somethin’ happens to any of you? What if I need to figure out how to help run this place, and I don’t know how?”

That was exactly what Applejack didn’t want her sister thinking about. She wished she could hug her. “You don’t need to worry ‘bout that. I swear. Just keep bein’ a teenager, Bloom. You’ll learn all that borin’ stuff in time, but you don’t gotta know it now. That’s what we’re here for.”

“But I want to know it now,” Apple Bloom complained. She actually sounded like she might start crying at any given moment. Applejack couldn’t figure out why, but she definitely didn’t want it to happen.

“You remind me of me, y’know that?” Applejack smiled a little despite everything. “But stronger, Bloom. So much stronger.”

“Huh? Stronger?” Apple Bloom sounded extremely taken aback. “No way. How am I stronger than you?”

“You just are,” Applejack responded. She wasn’t sure how to explain it without talking down on herself which is something that her family had often had to scold her for. “Trust me, Bloom. I wish I had been more like you when I was your age.”

“Aw! Well, thanks, sis. And y’know what? I always wished I could be like you. So maybe we can be like each other!”

“Sure.” At least that seemed to get Apple Bloom to cheer up a bit. But still… “And look, Bloom… If you don’t wanna do rodeo anymore, then no one’s gonna force you, but I just want you to make that decision ‘cause you really don’t wanna, not ‘cause you’re scared or ‘cause you feel like you gotta work more on the ranch.”

“Yeah, I–I know,” Apple Bloom said, though her hesitation didn’t convince Applejack. “I’ll think about it, okay? I still got a few more weeks to decide, anyway. They gave me extra time to think about it considerin’... Uh, but for now, I really just don’t have the time to practice, anyway. Exams are comin’ up and there’s a lot to do.”

The good thing was that Apple Bloom was focusing on school. At least there was that. Applejack could only hope she could see Apple Bloom see her side of things once Applejack got back home and was able to lessen the load a bit. Until then, she decided not to press the issue further. “Okay. You’ll do fine in your exams. You’re smart, Bloom.”

“Aw, ya really gotta stop sayin’ all that,” Apple Bloom responded sheepishly. “But yeah, I feel pretty good. Especially for the math exam after your help that time. Makes it a lot easier to learn all the new stuff when you actually understand the first thing.”

That seemed like forever ago. Applejack smiled at the thought. “I’m glad I could help.”

“Yeah! Now, enough about me. How are you doin’?”

Oh, there were so many things that Applejack could say in response to that, and they would all be true. She decided to go with the easier answer. “Alright. Rain and I’ve been improvin’ a lot. I’m doin’ better with the obstacles and everythin’ technical. Um…”

She thought about the parallel bars and remembered exactly why she had to numb the pain earlier. “And I, uh, I’ve been takin’ those pills, so the pain ain’t a problem.” She hadn’t exactly wanted to talk to Apple Bloom about that, but it felt wrong to omit that side of things when Apple Bloom had just expressed wishing that Applejack would tell her more.

“Oh! Uhm, that’s good! Just… y’know, just be careful,” Apple Bloom told her.

Of course, Apple Bloom wasn’t too young to remember. Applejack glanced to the side and frowned. “I know, Bloom. Look, it ain’t the same. I need these sometimes, and it–it ain’t a big deal, alright?”

“I know, but what happens when you stop takin’ ‘em? It ain’t gonna get worse like last time, right?”

Oh, that’s what she meant? Not…

Applejack ran a hand through her hair until it got caught in a knot she then started to try to force her way through. “That was different. I didn’t do what I was supposed to. And besides, how’d you find out about that anyway?”

“We were moving some of the stuff in your room downstairs and I found an old box in your closet. It had a bunch of your old stuff, includin’ one of those little pill bottles, so I asked Granny and she told me to ask Big Mac ‘cause she figured he’d know what to tell me.”

Oh, that. Applejack should have thrown that away a long time ago, but she wanted to keep one to remind herself that she was stronger without it. It was her box of shame. “Well, what’d he say?”

“I dunno, not much. He just said that things got too hard and you needed help. But then I remembered how different you were and–and how angry you got until one day you kinda just… I dunno, it was like you stopped feelin’ anything at all. I figured it was related, and he told me that you stopped takin’ them. ”

That was when she decided to stop taking those stupid things. She thought it’d help. What was the point of taking them if they didn’t make you happy? But then, it felt like she couldn’t feel anything else. It was an empty kind of despair.

“I wish I knew before, Applejack. I… We learned about all this stuff in school. You don’t just stop bein’ depressed. And you don’t usually just start, either. I thought you were just havin’ a hard time ‘cause of everything recently, but it’s always been more than that, ain’t it? ”

Apple Bloom’s question hung in the air. It was supposed to be something that wasn’t talked about. It was stupid. Stupid stupid stupid.

“Those pills were supposed to make it so I could feel happy, but I wasn’t,” Applejack stated simply. A good non-answer. “It was a mistake.”

“...To stop?”

No. “Yeah, I shouldn’t have. At least, not without permission.” If I even could.

“Oh… Okay. So you’re not gonna do that with these right?”

“Of course not,” Applejack responded almost immediately, trying to find a place to drop the conversation. “Look, I don’t need these forever, just for a bit. They’re just for pain, and I only take ‘em when I need ‘em. Don’t worry, okay? C’mon, you’re my li’l sis, you don’t have to worry about me.”

“But I am gonna worry! You’re my big sis!”

“Apple Bloom,” Applejack warned. “I don’t wanna talk about it right now, okay? It’s been a long day and I’m tired. Plus, you’re gettin’ in a fuss over nothin’.”

“Fine, but I ain’t gonna let you just put this in a box, too,” Apple Bloom told her sternly. “I ain’t sure what everyone else’s stance on this kind of stuff is, but I think it’s important to talk about it. At least, that’s what they’ve been tellin’ us in school.”

They had that right, at least. But it didn’t make it any easier. “Okay, fine. But we talk about this after we talk about why you’re givin’ up a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity,” Applejack argued with a frown.

“Okay. Fine, fine. I don’t care, I just want you to be okay.”

“And I just want you to be okay.”

“Well, at least that, we can agree on!”

“Eeyup!”

The line went silent, and Applejack realized that they’d just had… some kind of argument. Even so, she couldn’t help but snicker. It seemed Apple Bloom couldn’t hold back a giggle of her own.

“Was that a fight?” Apple Bloom asked through her fit of giggling.

“I dunno, sugarcube. We don’t fight very often,” Applejack responded, holding her phone to her ear with her shoulder.

“Well, it was a pretty lousy fight if it was.” Apple Bloom snorted. “But, uh, I’m sorry if I pushed that topic on ya.”

Applejack sighed. “It’s fine. I don’t like to talk about it, but I suppose it was bound to come up sooner or later.”

“Uh-huh. And, uhm, I’ve been… Well, I’ve been readin’ around and talkin’, and I just want you to know that if you ever have to go back to takin’... well, y’know, the pills for… well, it’s okay! Nothin’ to be ashamed about, okay?”

Apple Bloom was so good. So gentle and kind and smart. But she didn’t understand. Applejack didn’t need that. It was sweet that she cared, though. And it was good that she would never feel ashamed of getting help, herself. But she still wouldn’t understand. And how could she? She couldn’t even say it.

Still, Applejack nodded, if only to herself. “Sure.”

“Okay! Good! Uh, I’ve got maybe fifteen more minutes to spare, so let’s talk about somethin’ else.”

Oh thank God. “What’s on your mind?”

“Hmm, well, what’s on your mind?” Apple Bloom teasingly asked. “Have you somehow met a new friend? Or even… a boyfriend?”

It had become a joke, kind of. Apple Bloom—and Fritter, of course—would keep asking if Applejack had met someone new despite there not being very many people to meet. The answer would never change regardless of if they’d asked before she was in the hospital or after. But for once, Applejack had a different answer. She thought about whether or not she should tell her about Thistle but realized that it certainly couldn’t be so bad to admit she’d made a new friend.

She smiled. “Well, I ain’t got a boyfriend, but…”

Author's Note:

I really gotta stop writing chapters that are just one conversation. In my defense... I don’t have a defense. My only defense is that I’ve been so sick recently and between that and the insane amount of cough syrup I’ve ingested, this is the best I could do.

Anyway, LOTS covered here. Lots of stuff I’ve been implying, lots of stuff I am implying... Just lots of stuff. To the person who asked about mental illness in the Reins blog literally like a few days ago, I thought it was perfectly timed because I was actually just about to kind of bring that up in this chapter! So like, good job on that timing. Yup, AJ (probably to no one’s surprise, really) is a big old ball of depression! And she always has been, but like I like to mention a lot, she’s just got a bunch of bad coping mechanisms that lets her kind of pretend she’s not. I assure you she’s had many nights of just blankly staring at her ceiling, though.

That being said. That whole depression thing? That’s going to be a pretty big part of this story. And now we’re kind of reaching what is the beginning of the second half (more or less? It’s already kind of getting longer than I had planned so maybe just the ending of the first third is more accurate, but all in all it’s on track) of this act. I just want to give a bit of a forewarning, I suppose. I do plan on dealing with some heavier themes that I’m sure you could smell coming from a mile away. Just be wary of that, I’ll give more of a warning once we start actually getting into it, but I’m sure you could kinda see it coming by now.

Anyway, I know this one’s kind of a boring chapter of just dialogue but I seem to have a talent for dragging out dialogue. Plus, I didn’t want it to just be another “it’s one week later” chapter. Save that for next chapter! Mwah ha ha!

---

The Ty Pozzobon Foundation intends to break the stigma of mental health and wellbeing among Westerners and those who live its lifestyle.

Ty Pozzobon Foundation was established in February of 2017. Tanner Byrne and Chad Besplug were two of Ty’s closest friends and western lifestyle participants. They were instrumental in starting the Ty Pozzobon Foundation. Chad Besplug stated, “we want to break the stigma and start the conversation about mental health”. No one should have to battle this demon on their own. Bull riders would share advice on how to stay on top of a bull. Now they are sharing advice on how to stay on top of life.

The Amberley Snyder Freedom Foundation intends to give support and resources to youth and young adults living with disabilities to help them grow their confidence and independence.

The mission of Amberley Snyder Freedom Foundation is to provide youth and young adults with special needs and disabilities tools and services which will support their freedom, growth, happiness and independence. The ASFF will give youth or young adults the opportunity to utilize their strengths and continue to improve regardless of their personal challenges and situations. The focus of ASFF is to create and support environments of personal growth and unyielding progress.

Ty Pozzobon and Amberley Snyder are both big contributors to the rodeo community and beyond.

Pozzobon, unfortunately, took his own life at the young age of 25 despite being a top rodeo cowboy after many concussions. It was discovered that he suffered from CTE (chronic traumatic encephalopathy), a progressive and often fatal brain disease usually caused by repeated head trauma. He is the first case documented in a bull-rider. After his passing, his brain was donated to science in the hopes that it would help doctors learn more about this disease. [source]

Snyder was a rising star in the barrel racing scene. After a car crash rendered her unable to use her legs, she never gave up and worked hard, even getting back into the saddle only 4 months after the accident. When asked what her goals were for recovery she said it was simple. Walk. Ride. Rodeo. She retaught herself how to ride and how to barrel race and even made an appearance in The American in 2015 as the fan exemption. Snyder still appears in professional competition to this day despite having to quite literally buckle in and strap into her saddle. She is all sorts of inspirational, delivering many speeches and talks and showing support. She even has her own book titled Walk. Ride. Rodeo. and a Netflix movie of the same title. [source]

Comments

[Bicyclette]

Everything sucked and Applejack hated it.

relatable

Though, Applejack couldn’t exactly blame her. If she was Strawberry, then she would definitely hate herself, too.

rip

Apple Bloom actually laughed a bit. “Everyone’s fine, you gotta stop your fussin’. Macky and Strawb are out fixin’ the roof as we speak and I’m trying to figure out what to do with this feed. It’s perfectly good, just wet.”

aww, Strawberry gets an Apple Bloom nickname now! she’s practically part of the family!

Bingo and Roan were Applejack’s parent’s horses. Bingo was her mother’s horse—a chestnut quarter horse—while Roan was her father’s horse—a, unsurprisingly, bay roan quarter horse. Her dad had never exactly been the most creative with naming, and it had become a bit of a joke between his friends in the circuit. It certainly didn’t help when he and his wife named their first child after him.

ehehe love this

The pair of horses were getting up there in age, so Applejack liked to give them their feed along with the supplements and soak it all to make sure they were hydrated.

oof. when the animals of those who left us themselves die… 

Apple Bloom sighed. “She offered to help us since you’ve been gone.” She didn’t say it in an accusatory tone, but it still stung. “Applejack, I know y’all have your differences, but really, can’t you just put ‘em aside? She’s doing a good thing for us.”

aww when the younger sibling is being the more practical and level-headed one

“We kinda had a… argument,” Applejack told her. She frowned at her laptop as she remembered how that day went down.

“Okay? Ya say it like it’s new for you two.”

gottem

Applejack chuckled dryly. “I’m supposed to be the big sister,” she muttered with defeated amusement. “Now what are you doin’ givin’ me advice?”

ehehe always love these moments

“She ain’t like that,” Apple Bloom promised. “I think she likes being ‘round Whippy more. And, uh, she’s also kinda been helpin’ with Barley.”

oof…

That sort of made sense. Whippy and Barley seemed to get along well enough. Sometimes a little too well.

love this foreshadowing

“You want me to tell her thanks?” Apple Bloom sounded incredulous. Like she couldn’t believe it.

That made Applejack put on a bit of a confused grin. “Yeah? I guess?”

“Wow, sis. You really messed up this time, didn’t ya?”

ahaha who’s the older sister now?

“Have you thought on it?” Applejack remembered how excited Apple Bloom was when she told everyone the good news. “I’ve been lookin’ into it and the decision deadline is at the end of the month.”

“Uh, kinda. I just… I dunno, I don’t think it’s the right time,” she admitted.

and oof, as if Applejack wasn’t hating herself for all this enough already

But then she thought about when she was Apple Bloom’s age. She didn’t feel like much of a kid, then, either. At least, not after that summer. She’d been forced to grow up all of a sudden, to do more chores and push everything down and take care of her kid sister when she was only just a kid herself. She hadn’t even considered herself to just have been a child back then. She felt all grown up. All ‘mature’. Bullshit.

oh yeah, knew this would come up!

“Aw! Well, thanks, sis. And y’know what? I always wished I could be like you. So maybe we can be like each other!”

auaugh that is so nice!

“Aw, ya really gotta stop sayin’ all that,” Apple Bloom responded sheepishly. “But yeah, I feel pretty good. Especially for the math exam after your help that time. Makes it a lot easier to learn all the new stuff when you actually understand the first thing.”

That seemed like forever ago. Applejack smiled at the thought. “I’m glad I could help.”

dang that really does seem like forever ago, doesn’t it?

That was when she decided to stop taking those stupid things. She thought it’d help. What was the point of taking them if they didn’t make you happy? But then, it felt like she couldn’t feel anything else. It was an empty kind of despair.

hoowee. i mean, yeah. that just sucks

“Fine, but I ain’t gonna let you just put this in a box, too,” Apple Bloom told her sternly. “I ain’t sure what everyone else’s stance on this kind of stuff is, but I think it’s important to talk about it. At least, that’s what they’ve been tellin’ us in school.”

aww the stuff they’re telling her in school is helping!

Apple Bloom was so good. So gentle and kind and smart. But she didn’t understand. Applejack didn’t need that. It was sweet that she cared, though. And it was good that she would never feel ashamed of getting help, herself. But she still wouldn’t understand. And how could she? She couldn’t even say it.

love that Applejack is doing the thing where she wouldn’t want Bloom to do the same thing as she does about depression but what she’s doing is okay and the only thing that makes sense because of reasons. very Applejack, both as the Applejack in the story and as the primordial concept of Applejack from which all Applejacks come.

She smiled. “Well, I ain’t got a boyfriend, but…”

well… i guess i will see where this part goes!