The energy inside the arena was insane.
The crowd roared in anticipation as the next matchup was announced. Anyone worth their salt knew that Harbinger’s Ghost was the bronc to watch. She was rank. One of the nastiest broncs in pro rodeo and definitely the nastiest on the circuit. She did not discriminate.
And yet Applejack felt confident. She’d dealt with ornery horses before, she’d been on many broncs. Even when she would fall, she’d take that and learn. Applejack always got back up. Always got back in the saddle.
She approached the chute with a grin on her face and climbed up the fencing. As always, Harbinger’s Ghost was calm. So calm, like a statue.
The mare looked back at her and shook around wildly. Applejack held onto the reins with one hand as she spurred the bronc, somehow already on its back. The audience cheered her on as she managed to stay on. She could distinctly make out the faces of her family. They frowned at her angrily. Applejack couldn’t understand why. No matter where she looked, there they were and they were mad. She was doing her best, so why were they mad?
The next thing she knew, she was on the ground face up and screaming in pain. She hadn’t even felt herself fall off, she couldn’t even feel the pain so much as she just knew it was there. Applejack stared up at the ceiling, still just letting out an anguished cry for the pain she couldn’t feel. She heard herself scream, but it didn’t even feel like her mouth was open. Someone was yelling something at her, but she didn’t understand what they were saying. All she knew was that she was on the ground and in pain. She needed to go back, though. She had things to do.
Applejack tried to get up but failed. She sat up as best she could, which was only halfway, and when she looked down at herself, the only thing that registered was her missing legs.
Applejack woke up with a start and looked around in a panic. It was dark and quiet and she could feel her heart racing in her chest. Her mind kept trying to replay her dream, but she couldn’t even really remember what she had dreamt about. The more she tried to think about it, the more it faded from her memory. The only thing she could recall was that it didn’t feel like a dream at all.
After she finally made sure she was actually in bed and not in another dream, an uncomfortable pain seemed to manifest in her body. She had worked up the will to sit up, only to notice that the pain seemed to even continue below her waist somehow. It was an impossible pain.
Applejack winced and tried to rub the pain away, but she couldn’t feel the rubbing. Only pain.
She’d been woken up by pain before, and she’d been feeling a lot of it recently, but this time was different somehow. She just couldn’t fall back asleep. The pain wasn’t dull, it was more like burning pain. Or like a stabbing pain and it kept building.
Hours dripped by agonizingly slow as it turned into a sleepless, painful night. Applejack held her head in her hands, hunched over in her bed for most of it, drifting in and out of full consciousness, yet still entirely aware of the hurt. It had to be past sunrise at that point, but she couldn’t even manage to focus on the clock. Everything was blurry with pain and the bullets of sweat that kept dripping into her eyes. She almost wanted to get in her wheelchair and find someone or go to the washroom to splash her sweaty face with water but the pain left her… well… paralyzed.
She thought getting the back brace off would be great. That it meant liberty. More freedom.
Instead, it had opened up the door to a world of hurt, one that was surprisingly new. It was hard to balance, it was hard to remember her posture, and it put so much strain on her. They told her it was normal, but it really seemed like it wasn’t.
Applejack tried to keep her breathing steady in an attempt to dull the pain as she had been doing for the past week or so. She breathed in and out shallowly and slowly. Every breath felt like an attack against her lungs, and it never felt like she was taking in enough air.
Somehow, the worst was not behind her. It was resurfacing. She hadn’t been in so much pain since the first week in the hospital. That was when they adjusted her dose of painkillers, and the pain slowly died down most of the time. But at that moment sitting in bed with no idea of what time it even was, Applejack swore that she would rather go back. She couldn’t make the pain stop and it hurt so much worse than usual.
At some point, without her realizing it until it was too late, the shallow, uneven breathing had turned into crying. What she thought was just sweat became tears as she sobbed painfully into her palms. Her shoulders shook with every sob and desperate attempt to inhale more breath. Every movement of her shoulders peaked the pain, which only made her cry even harder. It definitely didn’t help that she’d gotten an intense headache an hour or so ago that just kept getting worse. Nothing she did helped.
She didn’t even notice the door open until Apple Bloom’s surprised and panicked voice cut into the sob-filled room. “Applejack! What’s wrong?!”
Applejack’s throat was raw by the time she was able to say anything between her sobs. She couldn’t tell how much time had passed since she had first started crying, but it felt like years. It was probably just the worst-timed ten minutes of her life.
“I–it hurts so much!” she childishly wailed.
It wasn’t just the pain. Applejack knew that. As soon as the first few painful tears fell, it felt like a dam inside her broke. “I c-can’t do this anymore,” she rasped out. Her palms rubbed into her eyes, which made her vision dark and spotty. “I don’t know h–how to keep g–going.”
Apple Bloom didn’t say anything. She probably didn’t even know what to say. She was just a kid after all. She shouldn’t even be seeing Applejack like that. Instead, she gently pulled her elder sister into a hug. Applejack hiccuped between her cries, but let herself loosen up into her grasp. Apple Bloom was cold and she still had on a slightly wet jacket, but Applejack didn’t care. She was running out of energy rapidly and her lack of sleep didn’t help, either. Her body ached and hurt like she’d never felt before, her brain was foggy, and her vision was so blurry that the only way she knew it was Apple Bloom that hugged her was by her voice and scent. She always smelled like home.
The world seemed to slip away from her as her cries let up. The pain dulled, but so did everything else. “It hurts,” she mumbled repetitively to Apple Bloom, who said something about getting help before Applejack finally exhausted herself enough to fall asleep.
~~~~🍎~~~~
The wind smelled like rain. There was a storm coming. Applejack breathed in deeply and smiled as she looked over the cattle herding together in the field. She exhaled slowly and let the soft breeze chill her skin. It was definitely a welcome change from the hot spell that had come over the past week. A cold front was finally coming in after they’d been waiting for so long.
“It’s nice, ain’t it, boy?” Applejack leaned forward and rubbed the horse’s neck. In return, Barley snorted. Applejack giggled. “I knew you’d agree. Ain’t this weather just the best?”
Her musing was interrupted by the default ringtone that her phone came with. Applejack cocked her head as she pulled the flip phone from her pocket and looked at the caller I.D. “Oh, it’s Macky.” Applejack grinned and pulled the rein forward with one hand, letting Barley go at a slow pace back toward the house. “I probably forgot to do some chore or something. Ya think he’s gonna chew me out, ‘Ley?” she asked teasingly as she answered the call with her free hand. “Hey, Mac, what’s up?”
The line was silent save for a barely audible breath.
“Hm, didja butt dial me again, Macky?” Applejack teased. “C’mon, this is why I don’t like those fancy touchscreen phones.”
“Applejack?”
Mack spoke quietly, and his voice cracked ever so slightly. Applejack’s smile dropped as she recognized that tone. She’d never heard it from Big Mac himself, but she knew that it wasn’t good. “Mac? Is something wrong?”
“C-can you come home?”
He really really tried to keep his voice steady, but it didn’t work. Big Mac had the worst poker face Applejack had ever seen, and that extended to his voice. “Big Mac? What’s wrong?” she asked, her voice dropping to barely a whisper.
The wind blew gently, but it didn’t feel quite so good against Applejack’s suddenly cold skin.
“M—” He took a sharp breath. “Ya gotta come home, AJ.”
Something was wrong. Something was really wrong. Applejack trembled as she nodded. “Yeah, I’m on my way. I’ll be there in ten minutes.”
“Okay.” He paused but didn’t hang up. “I love you.”
The line clicked dead. Applejack didn’t bother putting her phone away properly as she clicked her tongue and squeezed her legs with desperation against Barley’s flank. The phone fell to the ground behind her as she raced against the cool breeze back home in silence.
~~~~🍎~~~~
Applejack opened her eyes drowsily and glanced around. She wasn’t in a field. She wasn’t fifteen. She was in a bed and despite the world spinning around her, she knew she was at least in a room.
It was a dream, of course it was a dream.
As soon as she regained control of her body, she reached up to cover her forehead and push herself more upright. A dull pain protested the move, but all it did was make her wince as she pressed herself up against the headrest of the bed. Her eyes slowly drifted up and in her still-focusing vision, she noticed a figure slumped up in a chair at the end of the room, covered by a dark blue jacket used in place of a blanket.
“A–Apple Bloom?” she managed to croak through her dry throat.
At that, her little sister slowly stirred in her bunched-up state and lifted her head, instinctively reaching to her neck which must have been sore from the position she had been in. As soon as she made eye contact with Applejack, she shot up to her feet. “Applejack!”
The girl ran to Applejack and gave her a hug, which made Applejack have to hold back a pained grunt. The blonde slowly put an arm on Apple Bloom’s shoulder and gently pushed her back. Her sister stared back at her with puffy, red eyes.
And then it clicked. Applejack remembered the pain and the crying and the way her sister held her before her body shut down from exhaustion. She totally forgot that her siblings were going to come to visit her for the afternoon. A lump in her throat rose, but she managed to speak through it. “I’m s—”
Apple Bloom shook her head and cut Applejack off. “No, don’t. I’m not a little kid, you don’t have to be sorry for cryin’ in front of me.”
The door opened slowly to let in her brother and one of the nurses that worked in the facility. Apple Bloom turned to face them. She and Big Mac shared a look that Applejack couldn’t quite figure out.
The nurse—a short and bulky woman that Applejack had only seen in passing before—approached Applejack. “Hi, Applejack. I’m Nurse Terry. It’s good to see you’re awake. Are you feeling better?”
Applejack barely felt awake. She grimaced, though, as the question reminded her that she was in fact awake and with that realization came a bit of pain. “I… My body hurts,” she responded quietly. “But less than before.”
Nurse Terry nodded. “That’s good, the painkillers are working, then.”
“Is she gonna be alright?” Apple Bloom asked, holding one of Applejack’s hands. She hadn’t even noticed until she looked down at their hands that she had an IV in.
“Yes, she’ll be fine. Pain is normal, even intense pain,” she reassured them. “Have you been taking the prescribed painkillers when you feel it?”
Applejack didn’t like the idea of that. “No.”
The nurse just nodded slightly. “Okay, I would recommend it, though, especially if you are having intense pain like this often. Can you tell me what happened?”
Applejack’s eyes narrowed as she tried to remember what happened before she fell asleep. Her brain was foggy, but she remembered some details. “I woke up in the middle of the night,” she started slowly, trying to speak coherently. Whatever they pumped into her really worked. “And my body started really hurtin’, even below my injury where I ain’t supposed to feel anything. It just kept rampin’ up, and I couldn’t fall asleep again.”
Though, there was no way she was up for so many hours, at least she couldn’t remember being up for so many. It all kind of just blended together. “Or maybe I was in and out of sleep. I dunno, I just remember trying to make the pain stop, but I couldn’t move at all, I was just sweatin’ a–and I couldn’t breathe.” She paused to swallow the lump in her throat. “Then I just started cryin’, but that musta been hours after I woke up, I think… It’s like I couldn’t control it.”
“Okay. The body pain is likely because of all the work you’ve been doing. You’re doing a lot after being confined to a bed for so long. It’s perfectly normal and it will mostly go away with time.” She smiled at Applejack in an attempt to calm her down. It only worked a little bit. “ As for the pain you feel in your lower body, it’s not unusual.
“It’s similar to amputees and phantom limb pains. It's a neuropathic pain, which means that likely your brain is misinterpreting the signals it’s getting, which makes it feel like you’re in pain where you otherwise can’t feel anything. This happens with people after spinal cord injuries, too. Depending on the person, the intensity of pain varies. Is this the first time this has happened?”
“Well, the, uh, the leg pains, yeah.” Applejack frowned and tried to remember what the pain was like, but even though she knew it was some of the worst pain she’d ever felt, she couldn’t re-imagine what it felt like to feel something in her legs, even pain. “Never had it before, but I’ve been woken up by pain before. I can usually go back to bed quick enough. I just couldn’t this time.”
“So the pain is what woke you up?”
Applejack glanced at her family for a moment. “I–I don’t think so. I had a dream that woke me up, and then the pain worsened.”
“Ah, was this dream unpleasant? Sometimes waking up due to stress can cause pain.”
“I… think so.” She tried to remember, but the only clear dream she could recall was the one she had just woken up from, and it was more of a memory than a dream. Applejack frowned. That wasn’t the one she needed to know, though. “I can’t remember what it was, but it definitely wasn’t nice.”
Apple Bloom tightened her hold on Applejack’s hand. Once they made eye contact, Apple Bloom gave her sister a sad smile. Applejack blinked slowly at her with her own small smile.
“Well, the morphine seems to be helping with the pain,” the nurse told her and her family. “And you do have your prescription for painkillers. I suggest you take them. Now, I must warn you that you must only take it as directed as it is an addictive substance.” She handed Applejack a small orange bottle with small white pills in it. “But I’m sure your last caretakers told you that already.”
Applejack tentatively took the drugs in her hand and glanced at the label. She hadn’t even given them a spare thought since they’d been prescribed to her. She knew that they were no joke, and she really really didn’t want to have to take them, but every other medication they had tried wasn’t working, so they gave her opioids.
She didn’t want to take them, so she decided to pretend it didn’t hurt. But it really hurt, and now she held them in her hands. But she did have a choice.
Take one capsule by mouth every four hours for pain, as needed.
Applejack frowned. “Do I have to?”
“It’s up to you,” the nurse told her, “but if the pain continues regularly, or even just comes back past tomorrow, then I would recommend it, yes. Body pain should become less frequent while your body adjusts to the new routine, though pain is often reported as the biggest problem among people with SCI, which is why the medication is recommended. Once it becomes less frequent, we can see about switching you to a different medication if necessary.”
Applejack considered what she had said. If the pain really was the biggest problem that people like her seemed to have, then wouldn’t it be best to just cowboy up and deal with it? But then again… it had been so bad. Applejack wasn’t sure if she could cope with it, but she really didn’t want to have to depend on drugs.
Big Mac seemed to understand her hesitation and caught Applejack’s eye to give her a small nod. Applejack looked at him with a frown but relented. “Okay, I just hope it gets better.”
“It will. Just give it some time, okay?” Nurse Terry smiled at her. “We’ll be keeping you on some weaker painkillers for an hour or two alongside the morphine in your system until it goes away. And if you have any questions or concerns about the prescription, let me know. But think about it, alright?”
Applejack just nodded. She had various concerns, but she already knew what Terry would say about all of them, so she kept them to herself.
“Great, I’ll be back in an hour or so to check in. I’ve gone ahead and cancelled your meeting with Rain for today so you can rest up.”
After Nurse Terry left, Applejack craned her neck up to look at the ceiling. Truth be told, she was kind of glad that Granny hadn’t been able to come that day. The temperature dramatically dropped and there had been a big snowfall overnight, so she definitely wasn’t expecting her siblings to show up, either. She was glad they had, but she was also upset about the timing.
No one said anything for a while. Apple Bloom sat next to Applejack, careful not to accidentally tug on her IV, and rested her head on her shoulder. Big Mac simply sat in the chair next to the bed and looked out the window.
The silence was suffocating. Applejack wasn’t sure what to say to break it, but she knew she had to say something. The last thing she wanted was for that to be the only thing on her siblings’ minds. “Uh, so how are things at home? Kinda hard to believe there’s a foot of snow outside.”
The weather. That was the best Applejack could come up with. She almost wanted to cringe at herself for the very obvious change in topic, not that there was a topic at all. But at least it wasn’t an unusual question to ask; the weather was always a concern when your livelihood depends on running a successful ranch.
Apple Bloom perked up at the question. “I know right?! It’s not even really winter yet. I was out two days ago with just my denim jacket, and now it looks like Christmas is tomorrow.”
“But to answer your question, it’s fine. We had to clear the snow out front and make sure the water for the cattle wasn’t frozen over. Heater’s workin’, though,” Big Mac butted in, standing to ruffle Apple Bloom’s hair—she tried to bite his hand in return but he removed it quickly enough, entirely unperturbed. “I had to fix up the windbreaks, though, they were kinda fallin’ apart.”
“Oh,” Applejack responded. She should have been there to help out with that, but she wasn’t. “And how about the horses out in the field?”
“They’re good,” Apple Bloom told her with a grin. “I checked up on ‘em while takin’ Barley out this morning. Nothin’ to worry about, they seemed as healthy as… well, as horses.”
The rest of the conversation seemed to drag on, and while all three siblings seemed to laugh and joke about the state of the weather recently and the hijinks happening at home, Applejack could feel the weight of things left unsaid. She had a bottle of pills on her nightstand. She was supposed to take them. They were drugs, and she was supposed to take them.
Eventually, Big Mac and Apple Bloom left as it started to snow again. Applejack couldn’t blame them—everything got so much harder once the snow started to come in. Normally, Applejack would do checks on the calves in the mornings while Big Mac would check on the sheep and chickens. Apple Bloom would make sure to blanket up the horses that couldn’t keep themselves warm during the cold morning hours. Without Applejack, then they’d have to do more work.
Applejack stared at the bottle on her nightstand. Managing the pain would help. Then she could be of use.
She frowned and resigned herself to her fate. “I just gotta be smart. I can’t make his mistakes.”
Ya always notice that dreams are, well, dreams when little things like timing still feel off. Suddenly seeming to teleport somewhere rather than ever remember getting on. And things typically only get stranger from there
Poor Applejack. Even in her dreams, she cannot escape her thoughts.
It didn't click the first time that in AJ's dream when she looks down her legs are literally missing--like she looks down and there's nothing there. At least that's what I'm imagining she sees as it was enough to make her wake with a start.
I can't count the amount of times I have had this exact style of dreams. Ones that felt so real and yet... when you wake it fades so quickly.
Ouch. Phantom pains.
I've never been through an injury like Applejack's but I can remember nights when I was sick that played out just like this. Halfway between asleep and awake; completely stuck in pain and misery. I can feel this entire scene. Very effective work here, Jay. Some of the best writing in this story so far--and it's had a lot of good writing before this :)
This part stuck out to me as a description of the pain and its effects on the mind. I feel like I can feel AJ's off-kilterness here. Feeling like a ship in a storm, probably feeling like she's about to fall out of bed at any second and enter a sea of even MORE pain
Not much to say here. Just good writing!
Gah, this whole scene has been so much more intense than I was expecting going in.
Gah, to make matters worse for AJ: it's not Mac finding her like this or Granny or a Doctor. It's her little sister. A girl who she has been working so hard to put on a tough, brave face in front of ever since the accident.
From Apple Bloom's point of view this is probably such a scary scene to walk in on. Bloom has brought some much needed lightheartedness and comedy to previous hospital scenes and now her presence is making Applejack's mental state fracture even more.
This has been a sad story, but this is the first time you've made my eyes mist up a bit here. Just this feeling of hopelessness from Applejack is palpable here. I just want to go in there and give her a hug but that might make the nerves send even more demonic signals to their unconnected sisters.
And Bloom... I mean, AJ is the one going through the pain right now but I can't imagine what this must be like for her. Her sister, her hero, crying like a baby and begging her to help
Not much to add to this line. Just wanted to point out some more good turning of phrase!
Oh.
Oh no.
Oh noooooooo
Considering the time of this flashback and what it contains... there's so much weight in this one letter to me. What word was he going to say? So many questions from one letter.
It's clear that this is the moment that something really bad happened with their parent(s?). But the pause, that second line. I feel like Mac is looking right at something that will haunt him the rest of his life as he says these lines.
Makes me want to read even more Mac scenes in this story now.
Sometimes it feels intentional that the last described action AJ does in scenes like this is something involving her legs.
Probably ending welcomingly quick compared to what she was dealing with earlier in this chapter.
Falling asleep sitting up. Never comfortable
(also, grabbing her neck, huh? I'm remembering some of AJ's thoughts last chapter. Haha I know nothing's going to happen to Bloom here but for fun's sake I figure my "read too much into everything" mind needs something to run with in the "injury foreshadowing" department similar to what I carried through Act One lol)
Poor Bloom
Jeez, that draws home how long the pain was effecting AJ. She woke up in the dark and it carried through to the afternoon
Wonder if Mac walked in on this too but was his typical quiet self so AJ didn't notice
Or maybe he was seeing something that triggered something. So many questions that will only be answered when Applejack decides to think about them!
Wonder why she didn't like the idea of that. I mean there's a reason; it's staring us right in the face obscured with just enough shadow to bring forth more questions and theories than actual answers
This also brings home how long it's been since her injury. Lacking sensation so long that sensation becomes a hazy memory. Thank goodness I've never known the feeling.
Yes, I believe AJ is fully aware of this already.
It's a tricky situation. Ya think you can just cowboy up but pain is pain and the mind can only take so much.
Small talk is not one of Applejack's skills, I see haha
True, true. Maybe not completely small talk
Applejack. No. Don't go there in your state. *rolls up newspaper* Bad Applejack's brain.
Calves, huh? Once again, I'm thinking this phrasing is intentional.
Great last line!
Easier said than done, AJ. I'm gonna ignore the topic of who this "his" is for the moment since Applejack will confront it whenever she's ready to. I have a good idea who it is referring to; it's all the questions surrounding this "his" that drives my theorizing brain crazy haha
Anyway, yeah easier said than done. We have seen how Applejack falls deep into her vices when she is upset, so that makes it worrying that she now has her hands on some painkillers. Painkillers that might help her through the initial pains of this injury... but causes worry for me beyond. It can help with the physical pains, but when she gets home and the pains turn to mental as the loss of her legs and what it has brought to her life is driven home more and more... will she try to use painkillers to kill the mental pain as well?
This is definitely one of the best chapters of the story so far from a writing standpoint. Not much happens per se and yet so much happens. Really painted a picture of how Applejack is feeling in a way where you could almost feel it yourself. As always, I am very much looking forward to where this goes. Also enjoying the blog! It's nice having some backstory for the family as well as artwork that helps me visualize what characters look like in the verse! There's some scenes I'd like to see represented visually but given that it's an in-character blog... maybe AJ won't want to see them, but that's a whole nother story. I'm keeping an eye on it! I've also already thought of/sent in a question for AJ on the blog (and might send one to ya later as well but I figured I'd start with "in-character' questioning). 4 chapters in 4 weeks. Can this keep going? I think so. It feels like this story's legs are, ironically, moving at full momentum.
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Mhm, yeah the ending of that dream was that she literally just had no legs. Gone. Vanished. Would be a pretty jarring sight to see.
Ah! I’m glad you liked the writing in this one, I think I might have redone it too many times, I wasn’t sure of the quality of it, but it seems as though you’re not the only one who thought it was well-written.
At first, I wanted Mac to walk in on her crying because of the relationship the two of them have. Mac’s her older brother, the one she talks to about mostly everything. He protects her and listens to her. And then I realized that was exactly why Apple Bloom should be the one to find her like that. As you said, Apple Bloom really looks up to Applejack, and Applejack always tries to be strong for Apple Bloom. Definitely sucks for Applejack to have been exposed as WEAK in front of her BABY SISTER (absolutely what she thinks)
Yup, that flashback-dream-memory-whatever-you-wanna-call-it is from that time. There’s a lot said without anything being said. I almost called this chapter “Things Left Unsaid” actually, but I like having chapters like this have silly names lol. Definitely not a fun time for anyone at that moment.
She definitely has a reason to not like the idea of going on prescription meds. As you said, the answer is there, but it’s lurking in the shadows all creepy-like.
Haha, I almost wanted to say “AJ needs to learn to think” and then I realized that sounds mean. But dang, girl, you can’t be pushing things down all the time. Now what am I supposed to tell the readers? That they’ll have to theorize??? Well, that’s not so bad, I like hearing people’s ideas.
Yup, historically, Applejack very much lacks self-control in that regard, but she needs these. There’s a fine line she’s gotta ride. There’s only so much compartmentalizing you can do, and only so much of that will keep you sane. Clearly, she doesn’t like the idea of being on meds, but she knows she has to do it because otherwise, she can’t function. There’s no way that’s a bad thing. . . .
Ah! I am surprised to hear you say that. Honestly, I wasn’t that confident with this chapter at all, but I feel like that’s just common with me. Maybe I should learn to not be so harsh on myself. I did try to make this chapter very visceral in the sense that it’s very intimate with showing how AJ feels and everything, so I’m glad that worked. And I’m glad you’re enjoying the blog! It’s been real fun to work on. And hah, I’m curious to know which seems you’d like to see represented visually cause maybe AJ will just have to suck it up. And woo! AJ question! I’m not sure if you mean you’ve thought of one to send in, or that you’ve already done it, but in case you meant the latter I’m just letting you know I got nothin’ :P. But heck yeah I’m excited for these asks.
“It feels like this story’s legs are, ironically, mo---” ...PHRASING!!!! (but yeah let's hope this momentum keeps up, especially with NaNoWriMo right around the corner.)
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Ha, I thought I'd sent one in but it looks like it didn't go through. I might send it again, might not... mainly 'cause it might be a bit too early for that question.
Yes, it was a very visceral chapter, and that made it very effective!
(as for what scenes AJ needs to suck it up over blogwise... well, I'll PM that for the sake of space)m
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Haha, totally up to you :P
And hehe fair nuff, as I always say, my DMs are always open wherever whenever
she sounds cool if only she were a magical sapient pony
oh no that is not good! a phantom, irresolvable pain is one of the worst things i could imagine
ugh and i thought the awfulness of not being able to use your legs in a world designed for people who can was bad enough. didn’t even consider the pains that would come with still being in a body designed for having working muscles in the lower half of it
with all the lows that Applejack has had in this story so far, it really is just adding up :(
augh she is so good
great way to underline that this is a flashback scene
and oof… Applejack’s life :(
and oof… there is Applejack’s stubbornness of course, but beyond that other very good reasons to not want to start taking any opioids
so true! and yeah, always feels weird to start any conversation with something so heavy weighing in the air like this
hehe, what a phrase!
hoowee. definitely a story behind that last sentence! so perhaps some very, very good reasons for Applejack to resist these painkillers.
really great to have Apple Bloom be the one that happens to be there when Applejack hits this new low, both for the story and Applejack. of course Applejack’s thoughts were always about protecting Apple Bloom from the worst of these tragedies, but i can’t help but think that there’s a link between Applejack’s age when her parents passed and Apple Bloom’s age now, really makes you think