Texts and Tallulah
Something about the bright white walls and ceiling had never failed to make Applejack feel uneasy. Every time she had opened her eyes over the past week to see the blinding sterile white of the room it set a frown on her face, even if momentarily. Never had she thought that she’d miss something as simple as getting up to stretch in the morning, or at least being able to put her hands over her head and roll out her neck.
Instead, with the same practised routine that she had just gotten used to over several days, Applejack groggily opened her eyes and saw first the same painting of mustangs that greeted her. Next, she would take in the table and chair meant for visitors, and then a nurse or a doctor would come in. That was the worst. She was always too nauseous in the morning to eat, at least since they’d given her the pain meds.
At least if what the doctor had said was true, they’d be taking off her neck brace soon enough and she’d be instead admitted to a rehabilitation facility. Not that she thought it’d be much better, but there was one a little closer to home. He’d said maybe in a week, but every day that passed, that week never seemed to come any closer.
Regardless, Applejack’s still sleepy eyes drifted to the door where she knew a nurse would bring her some breakfast. She’d finally been able to start eating more than just clear liquids and it was just in time, too; Applejack knew she’d had enough gelatine for a lifetime.
As expected, the door slowly creaked open and from the crack in the doorway entered a short woman in scrubs. Despite being early in the morning, she wore a pleasant smile on her face and held a tray of food in her hands.
Despite already feeling a bit of nausea creeping in, Applejack managed to return the smile, even if only a bit. “Morning, ma’am.”
“Good morning, miss Applejack!” she greeted back, making her way to Applejack’s bedside. “We have some yogurt parfait here and a banana today. I also brought you some apple juice.” She set the tray on a little table next to the bed. “Do you think you can manage to eat it yourself today?”
“I think so, but, uh,” Applejack frowned, “I’m not feelin’ too hungry right now if I’m being honest. And you can just call me Applejack, no need for formalities.” She had told her that before, but it seemed she was used to being polite. Another reminder wouldn’t hurt.
The nurse—who had introduced herself previously as Nurse Gentle Touch—gave Applejack a small smile. “Of course, my apologies, Applejack. Are you nauseous?” At Applejack’s nod, she set the tray down on the bedside table. “That’s common as I’m sure you’ve figured out. Soon you won’t need those meds, and we’ll prescribe you some to take as you see fit. It’s just while you recover from the surgery.”
If there were any words that Applejack had grown tired of hearing, they had to be ‘soon’ and ‘while you recover’. It was obvious that things would come at some point, but other than that, they really had to stop making half-promises that they couldn’t keep. Though, there was no point in getting upset; she knew that they were doing their best, and she was just easily irritated.
Maybe if she wasn’t so bored then it wouldn’t be so bad. If Applejack was being honest, she was itching for something to do. Anything. Maybe the fact that she found herself wanting to go back to doing manual labour meant her life was simply boring.
Well, there certainly wasn’t anything to do sitting in the same hospital bed every second of every day. The most exciting part of the entire week was shortly after having woken up from her second sleep that Applejack realized she indeed had a catheter in. Well, that wasn’t so much exciting as it was horrifying.
The blonde blushed as she recalled that realization. It wasn’t even as if she could feel it, but the knowledge that it was there was enough to send her into a state of embarrassment.
“Applejack?”
She focused back in, noticing that she had been staring right at the nurse—or rather, through her—and grimaced. “Sorry, zoned out.”
“Are you feeling okay? Any lightheadedness, dizziness, headaches, nausea?”
“No, ma’am,” Applejack responded. “Well, just a bit nauseous.”
Nurse Gentle nodded. “Again, that’s likely just the pain meds. Since you aren’t feeling any of the other things I mentioned, then I can officially clear you from concussion protocol,” she told her with a happy smile that never wavered. “Your brother dropped off a few of your effects while you were sleeping last evening, I’ll bring them to you after we empty your catheter and switch out the bag.”
It was as if she could read minds. Truly, without fail, Nurse Gentle somehow always knew what Applejack was thinking about. The blonde pursed her lips and licked them inwardly, noting that she could use some lip balm. “Alright, thanks,” she replied simply.
If her phone was among the things that Big Mac had brought for her, maybe she could finally use it to check up on her family. Fall was midway through, which meant that it was time to rotate the cows to the next field to graze soon. Applejack always took care of that with Big Mac, but now it was up to her siblings. She hoped they’d be alright. She certainly hoped they were working all the horses, too. Not just the cow horses and the competition horses, but the trail horses too and the boarding horses.
And Bloom was coming up to her end-of-semester exams. She hoped that her little sister had studied hard, especially for her mathematics class. From their study sessions, though, it seemed the young girl had gotten the hang of it.
What about Barley?
Her heart dipped a bit at the thought of her horse. He’d always been there for her ever since her dad had bought him as a gift for her thirteenth birthday. She’d always wanted a horse like Barley; big, fast, smart, and a real winner. Judging by his pedigree and his sire, Racing Stripe, he must have cost a good amount of money. Any foal of Racing Stripe was bound to sell for big bucks.
“Anything for my brave girl,” she could just about hear her father say. He really loved all his children equally. Yokel was a strong horse, just as strong as Big Mac, and certainly the product of a winning bloodline. Megan wasn’t any different; even though she had been bought as a young filly—just a yearling—she grew with Apple Bloom and it was evident they both strived to win.
All in all, the Apple children had horses to match their winning personalities. And it was all thanks to one Bright Macintosh and one Pear Butter, each with a number of belts, golden saddles, and the prize money to match. A match made in heaven, if Applejack had anything to say. Bright Mac and Buttercup were both inducted to the Pro Rodeo Hall of Fame post-mortem.
Applejack sighed.
She hoped Apple Bloom had been taking Barley out to ride.
~~~~🍎~~~~
There was a subtle art to trying to make the best of a grim situation. For Applejack, that meant being glad for the tiniest of things. At the current moment, she was glad that she could just pretend anything that had to do with her catheter wasn’t happening. She couldn’t feel it, so she just shut her eyes and pretended that things such as baggie changes weren’t happening.
And it worked, most of the time. At least, it had been for the past week. She fiddled with her fingers as she waited for the nurse to come back with her stuff. Her eyes drifted over that painting of the mustangs, but she found herself growing agitated by the sheer presence of it.
The door opened silently. It was nothing like the door back at home; it wasn’t nearly as squeaky and loud. It sounded like something silly to miss, but she missed how loud home was.
In Nurse Gentle’s arms was a box. There must not have been a lot in it because Applejack couldn’t really spot anything sticking out the top of it. Though just as she thought that was all, from behind the nurse came scurrying in Apple Bloom, then Big Mac.
Applejack’s lips turned up into a big smile as her little sister scampered to her side. “Applejack!” she squeaked out, holding one of her arms out in front of her as she approached her big sister.
The blonde reached out the arm closest to the side Apple Bloom came to and grabbed her hand. “Hey, Bloom.”
The door shut behind them, and Applejack smiled at Big Mac who gave a wave and set down something just out of view. Applejack tried to get a look, but she couldn’t quite see. The nurse retreated out of the room with her brother, saying something about giving them a moment.
“I missed you so much A.J,” Apple Bloom continued, leaning into her sister’s arm in a manner so gentle it was almost laughable. She pressed her forehead into Applejack’s forearm, and judging by the way she was erratically breathing and shaking, Applejack guessed she must have been crying. “I couldn’t wait to see you but you were still sleepin’ and then I had to go back to school and, well, stuff needs to get done back home and—”
“Hey,” Applejack interrupted, bringing her arm up so that Apple Bloom would lift her head. She was, indeed, crying, and the sight made Applejack’s heart drop. She couldn’t bear to see her baby sister crying. “It’s alright, Bloom, you’re here now, right? That’s all that counts.”
Apple Bloom nodded shakily, sniffing her nose and wiping a tear away. “Uh-huh. Oh, a–and I brought ya somethin’.” She placed a certain brown hat on Applejack’s lap. “I’ve had it since t–that day, and I thought you might want it back.”
Applejack lifted the hat into view, ignoring how it made her back ache slightly. It hurt less than before, which was good. She gazed at the hat with a straight face. Its fur felt finish was sturdy and soft in her grip, equal parts worn-out and strong. The hatband still held that apple-shaped pin, and she found herself appreciating the way the brim turned up just the way she liked.
Yet, it wasn’t right for her to have it. She looked at the hat that she had once named Tallulah as a joke and frowned slightly. In her hands was the hat she wore while riding. It kept the sun off her face and neck, it provided shade and comfort. It made it easy to hide her face and, in a way, always kept her safe from the world.
She held the hat that rested on her head as she received her first All-Around Cowgirl award at the Dodge Junction rodeo, and for the next two that eventually followed. It was there when she won her first saddle in Vanhoover and for numerous buckles. It had been there through rain, shine, snow, and even hail. No matter how hot it got, she refused to wear anything but Ol’ Tallulah.
In her hands, Applejack held the hat that she wore at every competition, at every event. She held the hat that was there when Barley threw her off and her pride made her walk away before they could check her out. She held the hat that endured her angry grip and frustrated smacking when she failed.
The hat that she wore before and as she lost her legs.
Applejack swallowed dryly and gave the hat back to Apple Bloom. “Thanks, Bloom, but I don't need this right now.” Her hand dropped back to her side as she did a good job of keeping her voice steady. “Can you hold on to it for me?”
Apple Bloom nodded slowly. She seemed a bit taken aback, but didn’t argue with the request. “Y-yeah, sure thing.”
Applejack wasn’t quite sure what to say. She hated to see her sister look so dejected, but she couldn’t exactly blame her. Lord knew how Applejack would react in the opposite situation. Besides, she was supposed to be the strong big sister, the one who protected Apple Bloom from anything and everything. She was supposed to teach her everything she knew. But right now? Apple Bloom was the one standing next to her hospital bed.
It wasn’t exactly a good idea, but Applejack pushed herself away from the wall of the bed with a shaky arm, careful not to put her weight too far forward. The plastic case on her torso didn’t exactly make it easy to adjust her weight easily, but at least it kept her upright. Awkwardly, she reached out to Apple Bloom and motioned for her. The younger girl reached in as Applejack pulled her into a side hug. She couldn’t lean her head down because of the brace stabilizing her neck, so she gave her a good squeeze.
“Are you feeling better?” Apple Bloom asked shyly as she gently wrapped her arm around her sister. It was a strange sensation, to say the least.
Almost as much as the answer to her question. She was feeling better than she had been when she had first woken up at the beginning of the week, but that didn’t exactly mean she felt good. It could have been worse, though. Somehow. At this rate, maybe she’d be cleared to move on to rehab in another week as they’d told her. She would still be kept from home for a bit, but she’d be closer. After that… she wasn’t exactly sure, but she’d figure it out.
In the meantime, she had to stay strong for her family. Was she feeling better? Technically… “Yeah, I am.”
Apple Bloom pulled away. “That’s great! I… well, I can’t even imagine what it’s like, but it's good that you’re feelin’ better.”
“Yeah, it is,” Applejack agreed. There could have been complications, but there hadn’t been, at least not any that were prevalent enough to backtrack the trace amounts of progress she had made.
“And, uh, s-so you can’t feel your legs? Like at all?” Apple Bloom poked at the blankets, which made Applejack frown.
“No, but I’d rather you don’t touch my legs, sugarcube.”
Her hand retreated as if it had touched a hot stove. “Oh! Sorry. I was just…”
Her voice trailed off, and Applejack figured she wasn’t going to finish that sentence.“It’s okay, Bloom. It’s just… well, I gotta be careful ‘cause I can’t feel anythin’. Can’t tell if somethin’ might leave a bruise, y’know?”
Apple Bloom nodded slowly. “Yeah, that makes sense. Sorry, though. I coulda asked first.”
“Yeah, maybe,” Applejack agreed, turning her frown back into a smile. “But it’s alright. How about you get Big Mac in here? And that nurse if she’s still around, I dunno if she had more to say.”
The younger girl left the room for a moment. In that moment, Applejack let out a shaky breath and clenched her fists. She glanced at the hat that her sister had left on the chair and chewed on the inside of her lip. It was a habit she had picked up over the past few days, though she wasn’t sure where it came from.
Before she could think too much about it, the door opened again and back in came her siblings and the nurse. This time, however, Big Mac had a plate of apple slices in his hands. Applejack could only guess what they were for, and her thoughts trailed back to the breakfast she never had. As if on cue, her stomach rumbled. At least the nausea didn’t last too long anymore now that they had been giving her less and less pain medication.
Once again, Nurse Gentle seemed to read her mind as she asked, “Are you feeling okay to eat now? I can see you eyeing up the apple.”
Applejack snorted out a laugh that felt a bit awkward as it left her throat. “I reckon I am, ma’am.”
It almost felt like they were watching her as she received what was meant to be her breakfast and slowly worked through it. Her arms were a bit shaky, though that was apparently normal as they constantly held her up even if she didn’t notice it, but she never dropped any food anymore.
It wasn’t a feeling, though. Her eyes drifted up for a moment as she let herself unfocus from the task and she did indeed notice everyone in the room staring at her. As quickly as she noticed, though, they all looked away—except for Nurse Gentle Touch. Applejack bit back a snarl and instead went back to eating.
As she put the tray on her lap and picked up the banana, she questioned if it was a test. Holding the fruit up to her sight, she began the process of peeling it. It almost felt like being a kid again, a kid who didn’t know how to peel a banana. Eventually, though, she got it and proceeded to eat it quickly, feeling rather full.
They could have at least made conversation with each other, that way it wouldn't have been so weird. But to be fair, Big Mac wasn’t much of a talker and Apple Bloom seemed a bit out of it.
“Y’all didn’t have to watch me the whole time,” Applejack pointed out light-heartedly as she swallowed the last bit of food. Nurse Gentle took the plate from her, for which Applejack uttered her thanks. “I can eat just fine, ain’t nothin’ to watch.”
“I guess they’re just proud of you,” Nurse Gentle pointed out softly. “It may not seem like it, but your independence is growing, and this is a good first step.”
Eating food? That seemed a bit silly, but Applejack wasn’t going to try to refute it. It wasn’t that hard to eat, but then, she did have some difficulty with it at the beginning of the week. She sighed. “Yeah, I guess.”
“I’ll leave you with them. If you need anything, you know how to call.”
With a simple wave, Nurse Gentle left the room with the tray of food that Applejack had finally finished. Once alone in the room, Apple Bloom ran to the chair and sat down on it, while Big Mac brought over the box that the Nurse had brought in. He set it by the bottom half of the bed and tossed Applejack something. Unsurprisingly, it simply hit her in the chest with a plastic thud and fell onto her lap. Applejack rolled her eyes as Big Mac sheepishly rubbed his neck.
Though, her annoyed expression changed as she figured out just what it was that Big Mac threw at her. In her hands, she held her phone, something she hadn’t seen in a week. Normally, it wasn’t anything worth getting excited about; she didn’t normally use it much anyway other than to communicate with any clients looking to board horses or for any other business or family related reasons, but after a week with nothing to do because of ‘concussion protocol’, Applejack was more than happy to see it again.
She held it up and turned it on. As always, a picture of Barley greeted her, though what caught her eye was the unopened messages. She’d gotten texts from at least two or three people, but she couldn’t see all of their names since the notifications stacked. Two of them were at least from her cousins, though. It should have made her happy to see their names but in reality, she couldn’t help the frown on her face.
She’d check it later. Before she could put it away, though, she received another text.
Big Mac
Now we can text!
Applejack looked to her sister, who grinned at her, clutching her brother’s phone up to her face. It was almost comically large in her grip. “So even though I can’t see ya in the week, we can still talk,” Apple Bloom added. “Ain’t that nice? Now I won’t have to miss ya… as much.”
That was definitely a plus. Applejack put her phone down next to her. “Hey, I miss y’all, too. And it’ll definitely be nice to talk to ya more, even if it is through the textin’ app on these things.”
“You talk like Granny Smith,” Apple Bloom quipped.
Applejack snorted. “You ever see me use my phone like you do?”
“Good point.”
They laughed a bit, Big Mac finally joining them in their exchange. Apple Bloom told Applejack about how school was going, while Big Mac filled her in on the goings-on back at home. It was good to hear that Big Mac didn’t need much help with everything, especially since she couldn’t be there to help. Apple Bloom had been there to help, too, even if it meant having to go straight home after school. It made Applejack a little guilty, but Apple Bloom swore that she enjoyed it.
At least there was that. How they managed to work all the horses was beyond Applejack, but she wasn’t going to question it. Big Mac had a way of doing things even if they seemed impossible. Maybe they didn’t need her help. The thought stung, but it was a good thing.
It was a good thing.
Eventually, Apple Bloom ended up eating the apple slices that Big Mac brought as she showed Applejack the ribbon she had gotten the weekend prior and left it for her on her bedpost to ‘liven up the place’. If she was being honest, Applejack didn’t really want to see it there all the time, but she wasn’t going to tell her sister that, so she smiled and nodded. She’d ask someone to put it away later, and maybe take the painting along with it.
The rest of the day passed quickly. Applejack got help adjusting herself so she wouldn’t develop bedsores, and another check-up was complete. With it, another promise of one last week before she could move forward with her recovery, but she believed it that time. She just couldn’t wait to at least move her neck around. Now that was going to be sore.
Finally, her siblings had to leave for the night, and all in all, their visit made Applejack mostly happy. It was hard to see them, especially Apple Bloom, who looked so uncertain. But even she had loosened up eventually. It only made Applejack even more excited to finally put on the clothes that Big Mac had brought for her when she got cleared to leave. How she was going to do that? She wasn’t sure, but it’d get done. And she wasn’t going to accept any help dressing herself. That was a bit too embarrassing for her taste.
The room’s lights turned off for the night, but Applejack didn’t feel all too tired. Instead, she grabbed her phone again and took a deep breath. “You don’t have to respond,” she told herself, “but at least check what they’ve been sayin’.”
The bright light made Applejack blink. She unlocked her phone and looked through the top bar of her notifications. A reminder that a client was going to pick up their horse took up half the screen, but it was a few days old so she swiped it away with a frown. Her arms shook with what was probably bodily exhaustion, but she kept looking. Finally, she reached the messages she’d missed and took a look.
Apple Fritter
Hey cuz! Hope you’re doing okay. Figured you didn’t want all of us to blow up your phone, so we decided to leave it up to me to text you.
Call me when you can or send a text!
Maybe it wouldn’t hurt to say something back. Fritter had always been there for her, and it was rude to say nothing. Applejack quickly typed out a simple promise to call her sometime and an assurance that she was doing okay before moving on.
Braeburn
Hi AJ, hope you’re okay. Big Mac says you’re doing alright. I hope that big doofus ain’t sugarcoating things, but knowing you you’re probably making big strides already.
Poor choice of words?
Let me know when you see this.
Applejack rolled her eyes. Braeburn never was the best with words, but he never failed to make her smile. She replied to him, too, and made sure that her greetings were extended to the rest of the family.
Apple Bloom
APPLEJACK!
Granny says she misses you! And I do too, even though I just say you
Saw*
Oh and Winona misses you too! She keeps whining at your room for walks, but that’s okay cos I take her
Barley says hi! Well, not really, but you know what I mean
Anyway I think you’re asleep maybe
Here, I think this will make you smile :)
Attachment: 1 image
The picture attached was one of Barley in his stall. He had his halter on and superimposed on top of it was text that read ‘Night walk!’. Applejack gave a crooked smile. Barley loved going for a walk down by the cows at sunset. The longer she stared, the smaller her smile became, so she sent her sister a little heart and a good night text before she moved on to the last text.
Strawberry Sunrise
Hey Applejack. I heard about… everything
That really sucks. Sorry to hear about it
If you need someone to talk to, I’m here to listen.
You don’t need any enemies right now, so how about we start fresh?
Let me know if you’re interested in that, okay?
Applejack stared at the screen, unsure how to even feel. How did Strawberry even get her number? She’d never given it to the redhead despite having hers. Maybe she had asked one of her siblings? But even then, she doubted they would have given it to her, so how exactly did Strawberry Sunrise manage to contact her?
That wasn’t important. She couldn’t go acting all nice now that Applejack… It wasn’t fair. “You don’t get to offer that,” Applejack muttered bitterly as she closed the messaging app without even thinking of a response. “We ain’t friends.”
The phone grew heavy in her hand.
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there are just so many little things it is easy to forget to be grateful to be able to do
isn't that stuff made with horse hooves? fitting in a weird way!
hehe, apple juice for Applejack!
oof, yeah. that is when you know that you are In The Hospital
haha dang, they really do have a lot of animals!
this sentence hurts my brain
augh, so sad. all of the previous words about how Barley is matched up perfectly with Applejack and only gets along with her really makes the prospect of never being able to ride him again sting all the more!
very understandable, i told you about the mustang painting, hospital!
and all the previous details of heavy doors and squeaky hinges serve to dislocate Applejack even more here. again, your world just feels so vivid!
ooh what could it be?
augh, Applejack's connection with her hat is so meaningful and deep here. i didn't even consider the idea of her naming the hat, but now it just makes too much sense. and augh, of course her association with it and her previous life would make it painful for her to think about.
and this is exactly the kind of thing a well-meaning teenager would do without thinking! augh, you are so good at writing these characters
aww, that little bit of progress!
a nice character point to underline just how offline Applejack is! for some reason i find that just fascinating
big oof. an echo of those mixed feelings right before the accident, when everyone was happily celebrating Apple Bloom's victory after Applejack's disappointing loss on the first day
yay Apple Fritter! love her
dang, you capture Apple Bloom's excited energy so well through her texts!
oh dang, Applejack really did forget everything that night!
augh, that progress between them at the bar undone by a memory reset. and of course, Strawberry will have no reason to be in the loop about any of this for the longest time. augh. i am going to miss her during this next stretch of story!
excellent stuff, jay. this could really be original fiction with just a name search and replace, and honestly the kind of story i'd like to see more of in this world, since the world of fiction looks so different outside of these horse walls! but augh. the way you depict your characters and their relationships with each other is just sublime, and i feel like i am learning about how to do that better just by reading this work. and it's just nice spending time with Applejack and Apple Bloom and Strawberry Sunrise and Apple Fritter in this story, despite the tragedies happening in it. i just love your characters!
11244487
Ah, I just spent some time reading through all your comments and despite the almost (read: actually extremely) painful little coughing fits they brought me to, I can’t help but smile my way through them. As always, you’re so kind! Now I really have to get my butt in gear and update this story. And yeah! I often joke about how this is just original fiction with pony names for convenience haha. Something something, 50 Shades Of Grey...
Thanks for all your comments! It really means a lot Bike, I don’t think anything I can say would be able to demonstrate how much it means to me.