• Member Since 12th Aug, 2021
  • offline last seen 1 hour ago

DocBlackP


Just a first time writer that has been reading on here for awhile and wanted to try my hand.

Comments ( 34 )

Thanks for the views everyone. I'm trying to get a chapter out every week. Trying my best to keep the typos in check so that's slowing me down a lot. wish I could pump out two a week but cant.

To anyone that is taking the time to read this bit. I am leaning towards Rory but I think, I'll give my readers a chance to do a small vote between Rory and Shion. Also in case anyone is wondering about the way I spelled Shion as Shi'on, that would be due to how the read out loud tool tends to say it in a odd way.

Comment posted by Thunder Tail deleted September 5th

Thanks Knives. was going for a flash back feel there for the first chapter, I noticed later on that my paragraphs are a bit big so I'm trying to make them so they don't take a whole page on later chapters. I read a lot here on phone so its a pain to read it like that. lol.

I personally think I'll use Rory Mercury. just really interested in how any of my readers think on chapter 6 choice's in the story.

A roegadyn is a race from from the online final fantasy game.
the picture on the story cover is what one looks like with armor on.

way to go give your OC a demigoddess of War not like that can bite you in the ass later cough cough Celestia. PS this comment was written after 18 hours of being awake I'm sorry if my sarcasm isn't Funny

just wanted to know from my, hopefully fans. if my way of writing is ok or am I going a bit too slow in the story's progression? I'm a fan of (don't you dare), witch is a faster pace story, but I do want to add some details. I noticed some thumbs down reviews and with this as my first story, I like some input.

Loving the story so far but will he be staying in the ninja job or is he gonna switch between all of the jobs?

I do plan on him being able to have them all. the being of mist did say that he was holding onto things due to how weak Brex was during the sending process. so its a mystery as to what item is the catalyst for his displaced. Much less how many items were intended to join him. 😏

Can't wait for next chapter keep up the good work!

Well I just looked and I'm astonished just how many people have been reading this in just a month. thanks for adding my story in so many book shelfs.

cercal

Circle

kenned to the act of breathing.

Are you using the Scottish meaning of kenned here or did you mean "akin to"?

all the guys that have power are villeins

villain, villains, villainess (female)

Comment posted by racer76 deleted October 1st

>>DocBlackP

I like the story. spelling and grammar is pretty minor really. I will say that the perspective shifts combined with time jumps can be a bit hard to follow.

Ah thanks for pointing those out. I honestly have been meaning to go back and correct those errors but I end up forgetting. as for the back and forth time skips I'll work on making them less or at least easy to understand.

I got no proof readers or editors so those slip by me now and then. at some point I may edit the first few chapters seeing that I'm starting to get a better feel for the writing compared to the start.

Oh and I am ecstatic that some one called out one of my references. I wonder if anyone will make a list of them all lol.

The thought mortified him when he considered someone watching him change in a fashion that was similar to some kind of magical girl. This sent a shiver down his spine.

LMAO. That made for quite the mental visual.

Daddy couldn’t help but show it in his voice a reluctant reply, “H-H How was I to know that would cause that worlds snakes to be the higher life form down the road and that they would kill one another over the color of their scales?”

Is this a Rick and Morty reference?

Yup, that was a rick and Morty reference there. not seen them all but I remember that one. Sorry to say there is a chance that my next Chapter may be delayed until the coming weekend instead of coming out on Thursday or Friday. due to my free time being limited this weekend to get a good jump on this weeks chapter.

I'm surprised that my views have reached over 4,500 already. I'm considering to have another vote soon. But this time it wont be for the chapter I'm writing now like the last. I was in a rush and I didn't give a lot of time. So the items that Brex is going to receive in later chapters has long been chosen, but I wanted to give you readers the the power to pick one Merchant item to add to the list. 🤣

The first pick is. The house phone from the anime, Ah my goddess.
The second pick is, A trading card of, Yoko Kurama while holding his rose whip weapon. From the anime Yu Yu Hakusho.

So there you all have it. The votes will be counted in 7 days from now. Also I think it be hilarious to see what the reason would be along with what effects you think they should have. I may or may not use those ideas. this is mostly for fun but the winning item will be on the list.

Brex will soon learn that one meets their fate on the road they take to avoid it.

1. The powers the item have will be a support one, mainly creating the codex of the following subject: Locations, Person of Notes, and Bestiary. It would also tell the time.

Next Chapter should be ready in 2 or 3 days. Thats how long the vote will last.

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