That One Time: Two Princesses Enjoyed Their Harem Honeymoon

by TheCrimsonDM

Chapter Twenty Nine: Of Honeymoons and Brides

Chapter Twenty Nine: Of Honeymoons and Brides

Fluttershy and Celestia had cleared their heads and were now in a really awkward place. The fact was very simple, Celestia had just brought back Rainbow Dash's, and possibly one of Fluttershy's parents. Of course that last point was contended by the sheer fact that Fluttershy refused to think too hard.

They made their way home, having very much lost the race in the maze, and having no interest in finishing it now they just went home. New parents in tow.

Thankfully Rainbow Dash was not there. They eventually found a nice, quiet, place on the first floor to sit down and be quiet. Rainbow Blaze was rather happy looking, though, the more that Rainbowshine looked around the more it became clear she was seeing the problem that Fluttershy and Celestia had found.

Fluttershy leaned into Celestia. "You do realize, now we know the reason they went missing right?'

Celestia nodded. "I know... I could put them back."

"Don't you dare, what if we lose them again. You'd break my heart."

Celestia lowered her head. "I... I did an oopsie."

"A big oopsie."

Rainbow Blaze chuckled. "Aw, don't look so down. Two of my kids are married to the princess... princesses, wow, that's going to be hard to get used to."

Rainbowshine nodded. "We are here now, and that is all that matters. When will our baby come home? Is this actually your home?"

Fluttershy shook her head. "It's one of our homes. Our vacation home I suppose. You're home, Rainbow Dash pushed all the way to Ponyville by herself, to follow me."

Rainbow Blaze beamed. "Ah, that's our sweetie, so strong."

The front door opened up and they could hear the rough voice of the one mare Fluttershy did not want to see just yet. Rainbow Dash came walking through the door.

Celestia's horn lit up and a magical curtain appeared in front of them blocking the view of their parents from the front door. Celestia smiled. "I know exactly how to fix this."

Celestia stepped out from around the curtain. "Rainbow Dash. My love, my wife, my... I have a gift for you."

Rainbow Dash approached. "Oh, what’s up?"

"I heard you lost your parents a few years ago. So I decided to go find out what happened. Good news, I figured out what happened to them." She threw the curtain aside revealing Rainbow Dash's parents to the bewildered pegasus. "They vanished when I teleported them into the future, please don't hate me."

Without warning Rainbow Dash ran over, jumped over the table and wrapped both of her parents up into a tight hug. "Mommy, Daddy!"

Fluttershy watched the caring display and did her best to give Celestia a reassuring smile. Rainbow Dash wasn't the brightest rainbow in the sky, so she might not fully understand just how much of this was Celestia's fault. So long as she was happy, that was all that mattered right?

***

Celestia was doing her best to relax, they'd given a guest room in the castle to Rainbow Dash's parents, and she had to let both Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash go stay there for the remainder of the honeymoon. To quote Rainbow Dash, "I love you, but like, I live with you now. I haven't seen my folks in years, they come first."

And she agreed, their parents did come first. So long as it kept her out of being in trouble she would sacrifice half the country, and may be persuaded to sacrifice up to three quarters if it made Rainbow Dash smile.

However, the disdainful look that Twilight gave her from across the dining table was not missed. Time Travel, it was something she personally put a ban on because of things just like this.

Twilight cleared her throat. "You."

"Yes it is, I, Princess Celestia, ruler of Equestria, goddess of the sun and fertility."

Luna chimed in from nearby, she was washing dishes with Applejack. "Oh ho, goddess of fertility now are we?"

"I will make up my own titles as I please."

Twilight grumbled. "You scolded me for time travel."

"I most certainly did not."

"Yes you did."

"When?"

"When I traveled back in time to ask you what you wanted for your birthday last year."

Celestia blinked. "I... I do not remember that."

Luna chimed in again. "That's because of multiverse theory, dear sister."

Twilight glared at her. "Oh, so what? She didn't just abduct Rainbow's parents."

Celestia clarified. "I did not abduct them from this timeline."

Pinkie's voice chimed in. "No, but you did abduct them from a different timeline. Oh and I guess that version of you came here to do the same thing."

Celestia glanced at her. "What are you talking about?"

"Ever since our honeymoon we've split into two timelines. One is family-friendly where the sauce is behind the scenes... well mostly. The other is filled with hot sauce and does not fade to black."

Celestia blinked. Slowly looked away back toward Twilight. "I will not time travel again. I promise."

Twilight nodded. "Good, or else I'm going to make Pinkie Pie lecture you on timelines. And trust me, that is a torture you do not want. You might heal from any mortal injury, but can your mind heal after you realize the depths of insanity all of reality goes through."

Pinkie Pie giggled. "Oh and there's a timeline where... oh right, I'm not allowed to talk about that. Needless to say, Celestia, you have a nickname and it starts with an M. you're a lot more fun in that reality."

Celestia tried to figure out what the nickname could be but once she caught Twilight's look she decided to leave that thought alone. Things were already crazy enough. No need to go messing around in timeline shenanigans. That was better suited for her ex-husband.

Of course one more thing occurred to her. "Twilight, what are you doing tomorrow?"

"I am forcing my way into Cadance and Shining’s bedroom because I am bored and they owe me. Also Luna did manage to fix the uh... problem I created for myself so Shining should be happy to note I am no longer his little brother."

Celestia nodded. "That was fun while it lasted. Well tomorrow I will spend the day with Pinkie."

Pinkie Pie appeared right next to her. "Oh I have plans. For you, me, and the whole world. Don’t worry, you'll love them sunbutt."

And there was another nickname that wouldn't leave her alone. "Alright, Pinkie. I look forward to it.”

Celestia couldn’t shake the feeling though, that she might have just caused problems.

***

Celestia woke up that morning and her first concern after some self-care, was coffee. Then more coffee. Finally yet more coffee because there was a problem.

She gave Luna a very cross glare. "You could have woken me, dear sister."

Luna purred. "You looked so happy in the pony pile."

"If we continue to refer to it as such we will start thinking of ourselves as nothing more than stuffed animals."

Luna leaned forward over the table. "You're welcome."

"I will not say thank you."

"You do not have too. I raised the sun for our beloved world."

Celestia took a nice, long, silent drink of her coffee. Once she set it down she finally admitted. "Thank you."

"So our honeymoons end tomorrow, do they not?"

"No, we still have a few days. but today is the last day we really need to focus on. It'll be my date with Pinkie, and I'm... nervous."

Luna smiled. "How come?"

"I have in-laws that are far younger than me, and unlike Twilight's parents are actually decent folk. How do I treat them?"

"Call them mom and dad."

Celestia's eye twitched. "I will do no such thing."

"Pops and mom?"

"I... I am more preferable toward that option."

Luna yawned. "I fear I must go take another nap. These days have been long for me. Good luck on your date, you will need it for Pinkie is the most chaotic of them all. May we bless you."

Celestia glared at her, but then slowly lost her energy as she went back to her coffee. By her own name, Luna was right. This date was going to be pure chaos... but she loved a little chaos now didn't she? It was why she was such good friends with Discord.

Still she had her concerns. For now she waited. She waited for Pinkie Pie to get up and once Pinkie opened her eyes she jumped out of the bed, and seemed to float down to the floor without making a sound. Impossible physics, but polite ones.

Once Pinkie had freshened up herself the two of them enjoyed a light but warm breakfast of peanut butter toast. A simple treat but sometimes it hits the right spot.

"So," Celestia purred. "What do we do today?"

"Oh you'll see." Pinkie giggled and Celestia was positive there was some chaos behind it. "You'll see."

Morning came and went, and Pinkie eventually guided them to the front door. She gave Celestia a saddlebag and a sunhat. Celestia stared at the saddlebag in silence. "So... when are you putting that on?"

Pinkie giggled. "That one's for you silly, you get to put it on."

Celestia's eyes widened. "Are you serious? Pinkie, I am the ruler of Equestria, I have not worn saddlebags for anything less than brutal combat in, in, hundreds of years. That is what servants are for."

Pinkie Pie giggled. "Not today it’s not." She picked up the saddlebag and threw it onto Celestia's back. It was rather lightweight but it made her feel... used.

Pinkie began heading out. "Come on, sunshine. Don't waste time."

Celestia knew that once her sister heard of this she was going to laugh. For now she would bear with the shame and carry the saddlebag proudly... like a mule... oh goodness, these ponies were going to be the death of her.

They walked down the long, winding road toward town. Step after step, minutes passed by, it took a long while to get to the bottom and once there they began to walk through the crowded streets. She felt like everypony was staring at her, her and her... saddlebag. It was almost as intolerable as wearing an actual saddle.

She knew none of them were even paying her any attention to her, but it felt like they were.

Eventually they reached the park and began walking through it. Celestia began to perk up a little. She thought about it and realized if she was wearing a saddlebag, clearly it was full of stuff they would need. Health potions, mana potions, bombs, confetti, who knows what. They must have been taking the park as a shortcut to their destination. She could only imagine the adventure they were about to go on.

They walked around the outside of the park. Slowly going inward in a spiral. It was slow going and the longer it went on, the more restless Celestia got. She had to know, what was their heroic adventure going to be?

"Pinkie, I know it’s supposed to be a surprise, but I have to know. What is the adventure?"

Pinkie looked up at her. "This is the adventure."

Celestia looked around. They were walking in a park. Other ponies were walking past them, playing chess, or having picnics. Then she figured it out. "Oh, I get it, we're looking for a spy. A changeling perhaps?"

Pinkie Pie giggled. "You're silly."

"Oh shush you, I'm sure you have some epic, big adventure planned."

"I do. We're on it right now."

"Oh, see I told you."

"I'm taking you out on a walk."

Celestia's ear twitched. There were multiple things wrong with that sentence. She decided she'd break it down. "A walk?"

"Yes, a romantic walk in the park. I heard you like those."

Celestia blinked. "Then what about the secret gadgets and potions and items in my inventory?"

"The wha- filly yer crazy."

Celestia opened up the saddlebag. It contained water bottles, trail mix, sunscreen lotion, a couple of hair ties, and last but not least a small purse with some spending money inside of it.

Celestia checked, and double checked. It was... it was just basic stuff. She looked at Pinkie feeling utterly confused. "What is the meaning of this, these are just snacks?"

"Yeppers, good snacks."

Celestia opened up the trail mix and took a bite. It was good. "You have passed your diplomacy check, for now."

They moved on after walking around the park one more time. Surely these were just provisions for the epic task ahead. After all there were little energy packets in here to regain one's energy, little packets of powder one would put into a bottle of water to flavor it. They had a blue flavor. She wasn't familiar but it said 'energy' on the side.

The next task was... the spa.

The next few hours were spent being pampered at the spa. Anything from hooficures to facial masks to a giant hot tub. It was pleasant and eased much of the tension off of her bones like the fat melting off a plate of bacon... she missed bacon.

After that the duo went to get lunch at a rather interesting place. She'd eaten food from this establishment before, but only on occasion and never once went inside. She marveled that there was a line of ponies going to a counter of some sort where they would tell the store pony what they wanted and have it delivered in little paper bags minutes later.

"Mcgronalds." Celestia said.

"Yep, not to be confused with Burger Queen."

They walked up to the counter and the sheer amount of options had Celestia paralyzed. She meekly looked at Pinkie. "You, order for me. Make it ten of whatever it is."

Pinkie giggled. "We'll take three macadoodle burgers, and ten large fries, and oh I want something sweet. Breakfast, get us eleven cinnamon wheels!"

The total came up to a rather pitiful amount of money, it was so cheap. Celestia swore they were just giving this food away. Once they got their food they found a booth near the back and took seats. Through a glass window she could see foals playing on some rather illustrious playground equipment made out of a series of tubes.

Pinkie giggled. "Don't go in there. One time, I went into the tube and some pony pooped in it."

Celestia gasped. "No!"

"Yes. and foals sometimes make a mess of the ball pit too. So that's a no go as well. Honestly they should probably get rid of ball pits for foals for safety and then make a grown up pony play place. We won't do... well that's not the stuff we'd leave behind in it."

Celestia offered a wry smile. "You would be surprised."

"Probably not, I can see Rainbow Dash going potty in the ball pit just because someone said not to."

"Pinkie, our bride would... only do that for a prank."

"What exactly counts as a prank?"

"That’s a good question."

They finished the rest of their meal in relative silence. The food was a lot better fresh, but still had an odd flavor to it. She loved it, but realized very quickly that she couldn't even finish all the food here without growing ill. And she sincerely doubted their toilets were built to withstand a mare of her prowess.

Though they had to discard much of it, they did enjoy the food and after that Celestia realized it was growing quite late. Not too late of course, as Pinkie took them to a movie theater after that.

There were a series of rules there. Strange ones at that. Once Pinkie saw that one of them said, "Do not open theater three in the middle of a movie." she took Celestia and left saying, "no creepypastas for us, thanks."

They left the place and instead went to another movie theater some blocks away. There were no rules there and she could freely enjoy some movie about an iron pony fighting aliens. It was a fun, hilarious movie and once it was over they left the theater laughing.

Celestia doing her deepest voice, "The secret is I'm always angry."

The two of them laughed at that. It was a wonderful time and they finally made their way home. Once there Celestia paused. It occurred to her that something was indeed strange, but she hadn't put her hoof to it at all.

Setting the saddlebag down against the side of the door she took a seat and looked at Pinkie. "Pinkie, that was really fun."

Pinkie smiled. "It was."

"But..."

"Oh no, did I mess up? Didn't you want a good relaxing date? Was it the food, did it upset your tummy? Do you need tummy rubs!"

She had to practically fight off Pinkie from giving her tummy rubs, and lost. So laying on her back on the floor she looked up at Pinkie who's hooves really did massage the soreness out of her stomach from the 'fast food'. "It was amazing, but I expected, I dunno, chaos.”

Pinkie offered her a smile. "I love chaos, don't get me wrong. But this is your date. Not mine."

Celestia looked at her. "Mine?"

"Yeppers, you've done so much for us lately and I wanted to make sure you had a day to yourself that you could enjoy. In our next honeymoon, I will make sure that I get some crazy out of the way, but for now, you deserve a happy, normal experience."

"This was normal?"

"Walk in the park, fast food for lunch, and a movie. Yeppers, that's what normal ponies do. Betchu never did that since you're the stuck-up princess."

"I am not stuck up."

"Miss 'oh no I have to wear saddlebags' is not stuck up?"

Celestia smiled. "Maybe a little... and I'll get used to those I suppose... thank you, Pinkie."

"No problemo."

"Nopony treats me like I'm normal, but you do... it means the world to me."

Pinkie leaned over and gave her a quick, gentle kiss. If they weren't lying on the floor and Celestia didn't need to go to the restroom soon thanks to the fast food, she would have asked for more kisses. It only dawned on her as she sat up and rushed up the stairs to the restroom, there was a reason they called it fast food.

***

A couple weeks later.

Fluttershy was happy, she was home, and she didn't feel lonely anymore. It had been a few days since she got home, after the honeymoon and she was just thankful that she could relax and be herself again. Though with the oftentimes night visitor that was Luna, or sometimes one of her friends in the day.

Today however she opened the door to find Rainbow Dash there with a pair of saddlebags on her back and walking in without saying a thing. She set them down by the door and then climbed onto the couch and groaned as if in pain.

Fluttershy closed the door. "There, there, it's not that bad is it?"

"It's horrible. It's just awful."

"Oh come now, they just love you very much."

Rainbow Dash gave her a dirty look. "They also love your parents very much."

Fluttershy cringed. "Yes, well... we're not much better I suppose."

Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. "Whatever, the point is this is awful."

"What did your parents do this time?"

"They're demanding that I clean my room. Me, clean my room? Not only am I princess now, but I am the Rainbow Dash. Rainbow Dash does not clean her room.'

Fluttershy giggled. "Oh come on, is that really so bad?"

"Yes, yes it is. It's just awful and I might die."

"You're being a baby."

"You’re being... yourself." Rainbow stuck her tongue out at Fluttershy.

Fluttershy giggled and rolled her eyes. "You can stay here as long as you like. I'm glad that your parents moved in. I hope that they appreciate Luna and Celestia."

"Are you kidding? They did five minutes of research into Luna and then started praising her like crazy. Ugh, my week."

Fluttershy pet the top of Rainbow Dash's head. 'Well at least we have our happily ever after right?'

"Happily ever after does not mean cleaning my room."

"No, but it should."

"Maybe you should clean it."

"Maybe I will."

Rainbow growled. "Fine."

Fluttershy shot back. "D-double fine! I'll clean it, just you watch, I'll clean your room so good you would never know it was ever dirty to begin with!"

Rainbow smiled. "Thanks, you're a pal."

Fluttershy blinked. She just... but she... oh she would get Rainbow Dash back for that later. Perhaps she'll get a pink frilly dress and trick Rainbow into wearing it. Yes, that would do just fine. For now though, she would let Rainbow crash here. After all, what was marriage for if not to help you escape your parents or your in-laws?

***

Since the honeymoon had ended Celestia had begun to feel a bit lonely. Celestia had to let her wives go home. She couldn't just take them away from their jobs and families forever. Well she could, but they would grow distant from her if she did. More distant than the physical distance separating them now.

Of course, they were married now, so that meant one very simple, very beautiful thing. Celestia had taken one evening to carefully prepare herself, and to warn Twilight in advance. She teleported to the golden oaks library after a busy day of princess work.

Once there she opened the door and walked inside. "Honey, I'm home."

Twilight trotted up to her wearing a pink apron. "Hi, let me take that for you." She took Celestia's hat and put on the hat rack. It was just the sunhat that Pinkie gave her but it was nice.

The smell of cooked food filled the room as it wafted in from the kitchen. Twilight giggled as she trotted toward the kitchen. "I made dinner for us."

Celestia walked behind her. Careful to duck her head when entering the kitchen, she repeated the mistake that left a giant hole gouged in the ceiling.

Steamed vegetables filled the air and Celestia almost melted into the scent. Twilight reached the stove top, then stepped on her apron and tilted forward as she fell. She hit the stove with her face, the pot went flying up and over Twilight, and vegetables went flying everywhere.

Twilight laid there groaning as she was covered in green beans, peas, and carrots. "Oh come on, that's the third time today!"

"Looks like the protection spell I put on you is working. You didn't feel a thing."

"Except for shame, I'm the worst housewif."

Celestia leaned over and grabbed a green bean off of Twilight's cheeks with her lips as she stole a kiss. "Mmm, you boiled them too long."

"And I can't even cook!"

"Oh hush, you'll get there eventually. For now, would you like to get some fast food or a pizza?"

"I hate pizza, so... cheesy. How about neighponese?"

"I could go for orange chicken."

"Orange what? Chickens are brown, or white, they aren't orange."

Celestia cursed herself, Twilight didn't get it. "Sushi?"

"Oh I like sushi."

Well at least the night wouldn't be entirely ruined. There was always sushi.

The End

Comments

[Stahlseele]

"Ever since our honeymoon we've split into two timelines. One is family-friendly where the sauce is behind the scenes... well mostly. The other is filled with hot sauce and does not fade to black."

to quote one james may:
"you. utter. pillock. of a man".

[zachary12]

nice work

[Apofis]

Ok, that ending was super sweet.

[Natedogg2006]

This was a fun ride. Though it was rocky here and there, there was a lot to get done here and I more than respect the effort enough to be sad or has to come to an end. I'll be reading this at work tomorrow and I can't wait to give my final thoughts.

[sykko]

It's sad to see this story end, but it had a sweet and adorable ending.

[Mister Morden]

What a fun ride it has been. But like any story, it eventually has to end.

Good stuff dear author!

[carlos1802]

I loved this story, see ya in the next

[Variation]

I was a bit worried after the last story, but this is a big improvement. The characters all feel like they love each other unlike before where it felt like Celestia only liked Pinkie and barely tolerated the others like Twilight. Applejack gets a bit underutilized but I guess that happens when your juggling so many characters.

I actually liked Celestia and Luna this time too after hating them before so that's a plus.

Edit - Accidently posted this on the prequel originally. Now sure how I managed that..