• Published 17th Aug 2021
  • 3,751 Views, 648 Comments

Beginning Anew - Goldfur



A rogue portal dumped Caleb into an Equestrian desert and left him stranded in an unfamiliar universe. He has to start his life anew but a sympathetic earth pony mare offers to help him learn the ways of his new world.

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Chapter 5

Caleb woke to the familiar headache of a brutal hangover. What wasn’t so normal was the dimly lit room that he saw when he managed to open his eyes. It took him a long moment to recognize the crystalline walls as being part of the castle in which he had been given accommodation. He groaned, recalling exactly why he needed it. Not ready to face up to that reality, he closed his eyes again, snuggling into the covers with their pleasant warmth letting him pretty much ignore the dull throb in his head. Then a thought penetrated the fog in his brain. What was the firm warm object smelling faintly of lavender he was cozying up to? Reluctantly, he opened his eyes and turned his head to see a mess of blue and purple mane. His eyes shot wide open as he identified its source.

What the fuck?!” The man scrambled away from the mare, but he was hindered by the sheet and blanket that had somehow partially wrapped around them. He was also far from the edge of the huge bed and his extended struggles managed to wake the slumbering pony.

“Can’t a mare enjoy her day off and sleep in?” Willow grumbled.

“Why are you even in my bed?!” Caleb demanded even as he finally untangled himself from the sheet. Then he noticed something else more alarming. “Why the fuck am I naked?!” He wrenched the sheet off the bed and wrapped it around himself, leaving the mare exposed but him not so much.

Willow rolled over to give him a flat look. “Who goes to bed with clothes on?”

“Have none of you ever heard of pajamas?”

The mare gave him a puzzled look. “Is that some kind of stallion lingerie?”

“No! Bed clothes!”

“Sounds pointless to me.” She stretched and then hopped off the bed. “Well, if you’re going to obsess over covering yourself up, I’m going to have a shower.” She started heading toward the bathroom. “Hopefully there’s aspirin in there too,” she murmured. “I can’t deal with his silliness on top of a headache.”

“You didn’t explain why you were in my bed!” Caleb called after her.

“Why the buck do you think?” she called back before slamming the door behind.

Caleb winced at the noise. Frankly, considering that he couldn’t remember anything much past leaving the bar, he didn’t want to think of the possibilities. The frazzled human looked around for his sole item of clothing and found it heaped at the foot of the bed. Dropping his makeshift bedsheet toga, he hastily donned it, wrinkling his nose at the lingering smell of stale beer adhering to it. Apparently he had been a bit sloppy after getting drunk.

“That’s just great. I’m going to smell like a bum when Prince Mark arrives,” he grumbled. “I pray he doesn’t forget his promise to get me more clothes.” He caught a whiff of another odor. “And I’d better have a shower too. Hopefully that mare doesn’t spend an hour in there.” Another biological function chose that moment to greatly increase in urgency. “I really hope she’s faster than my last girlfriend! Ack! That makes it sound like Willow is my current girlfriend! Bad mind!”

Fortunately for Caleb, the mare was fairly quick, emerging from the bathroom with a curry brush and mane brush in her mouth, allowing the human to use the bathroom. As he hurried past her, she caught the aromas coming off him.

“Try using the scented oils on your coat!” she suggested strongly.

“I don’t have a coat, you batty mare!” he retorted as he closed the door.

“I’m an earth pony, not a thestral!” she yelled back.

Caleb had no idea what Willow meant by that but he was more concerned about emptying his bursting bladder right then. Finally relieved, he went in search of something to lessen the pounding in his skull. The cabinet behind the mirror proved to have several useful items including the aspirin he sought. He took two tablets out of the pill bottle and washed them down his throat with a glass of water before entering the shower. Because it was designed for quadrupeds, he discovered it was plenty roomy. It also had two outlets positioned best for both tall humans and normal sized ponies. It seemed that magic castles were quite clever. The rounded taps designed to be grasped by the frog of a hoof weren’t optimal for a hand, but they didn’t cause him much trouble.

The shower was wonderful! It felt like it was washing away a lot of his troubles as well as the grime of the previous day. He checked out the various lotions on the shelf and found a spearmint scented bath gel that he used liberally. There was also a mane shampoo that he figured would be just as good on his hair and beard. It was with great reluctance that he finally emerged from the shower.

In his search for aspirin, he had discovered that there had been a new toothbrush and toothpaste also provided. Three minutes later, his mouth was minty fresh and he was feeling a lot better. He regarded himself in the mirror and decided his facial hair needed to be trimmed. Fortunately, there were scissors there too. He set to work.


Willow frowned and tapped her hoof impatiently. It seemed that human stallions were just as bad as pony ones when it came to using the bathroom for an eternity. Her belly rumbled in reminder that she hadn’t had breakfast yet and Caleb was stopping her from answering that call. She decided that she had waited long enough. She yelled through the door, “Would you hurry up and get your plot out here!”

It was still another half a minute before Caleb emerged, a towel wrapped around his waist, carrying the robe he’d been wearing.

“Do you know what I can do about this beer stain?” he asked.

“Yeah, sure,” she replied. “Give it to me.”

Caleb allowed Willow to grab it in her mouth and she headed back into the bathroom. However, when she dumped it in the laundry basket, the man objected.

“Hey! I’ve got to wear that!” He tried to get past her to retrieve the robe.

Willow stuck out a foreleg and inexorably pushed him out of the bathroom. “No you don’t. It’s a perfectly nice day outside and—”

“I’m not walking out there naked!” Caleb interrupted.

The mare smirked. “Well, you’re going to look extremely silly wearing that towel.”

“I’ll wear the sheets as a toga if that’s what it takes,” the man insisted moving toward the bed.

“Or you can wear the clean robe that I asked Spike to get you while you spent half the day primping yourself.” She pointed at the dresser next to the bed.

Caleb turned to see the neatly folded garment lying there. “Oh. Umm… thanks.”

“Hurry up and get dressed so we can go get some breakfast.”

“Would you mind looking away?”

Willow rolled her eyes but complied. “It’s not like I’m going to see any more than I have already. What’s your big hang-up about that anyway?”

“Humans have a taboo about public nudity,” Caleb replied as he hastily donned the robe. “Or even in private with anyone they’re not in an intimate relationship with.”

Willow raised an eyebrow. “So is that why you want to wear clothes when you share your beds?”

“We don’t share our beds. At least, not like you seem to think. What was wrong with going home and sleeping in yours?”

“What was wrong with sharing yours?” she countered. “My friends and I do it all the time after we’ve had a big night out.”

“In case you haven’t noticed, I’m not a pony!” Caleb said with some exasperation.

“You can say that again! Yaks are more laid-back than you,” the mare accused.

Yaks are intelligent too? What next? Cows?” When he saw Willow start to open her mouth, he held up his hand in a halt motion. “Don’t answer that.” His stomach gurgled and he sighed. “Let’s get that breakfast you promised.”

“Great idea.” Willow headed for the door. She held it open for him as a gentlemare should. “After you.”

As he passed by, she breathed in his scent and smiled. “I’m glad you took my advice about the scented oil.”

Caleb blushed a little but didn’t reply.

“So – where are we going?” the man asked as they made their way downstairs.

“I found that we missed the morning meal here at the castle. However, there’s a place that serves breakfast all day.”

“You have a diner? Good enough for me.”

After exiting the castle, Willow took them on a different route than the previous night. The architecture started out the same, but the huge oak tree that they passed was certainly different. Caleb saw that the trunk possessed a door and several windows.

“Is that a kids’ treehouse?” he inquired.

“First, we don’t have any goats living in Ponyville at the moment. Second, it’s the library, like the sign says,” the mare replied, pointing to the conspicuous placard.

Caleb had noticed it but the style of writing made it difficult for him to make out the words. Looking harder this time, he managed to identify them. “Golden… Oak… Library.” He looked at the tree again. “You’re kidding, right? How would you fit a library inside of that?”

Willow rolled her eyes. Stallions got so easily distracted. “Come on, I’ll show you, and then maybe we can get our food. I caught Spike just before he left for the library, so I know it’s open.” She pushed through the door without bothering to knock.

The man shrugged. Must be opening hours. He followed her inside, ducking a bit to clear the low doorway. Then he stopped and stared for a long moment before turning around and going back outside. He walked all the way around the tree and then re-entered. The inside was still far larger than the outside. Row upon row of books were on shelves carved into the trunk but, judging from the depth of the recessed window, that still left a great thickness of wood between the tomes and the bark outside. And yet, there was still more. Stairs led up to a second level! Craning his neck, the man saw more staircases reaching a third and even a fourth story.

“How the hell does this work?!” Caleb exclaimed.

“Never seen a magically expanded interior before?” asked Spike.

The man jumped, startled by the approach of the dragon whom he had failed to notice while he was being boggled. “This is impossible!”

“Nah – just dimensionally transcendental, as Doctor Whooves calls it. Pretty typical of library trees actually. Anyway, was there something you needed, Caleb?”

Willow answered instead. “I was just showing him around. We’re off to breakfast, actually.”

“Okay,” Spike replied, picking up some books from the desk to re-shelve them. “Have a great day!”

“I’m officially in a fairy tale,” Caleb mumbled as they left.

They passed a couple of earth pony mares who were headed inside. They both grinned at seeing the duo and the yellow one with a two-toned orange mane spoke up. “Still with your coltfriend, Willow? Must have been a great date,” she said with a smirk.

“He’s not my coltfriend, Junebug!” Willow snapped back. “And we weren’t on a date. Prince Mark has assigned me to guide Caleb around and help him get familiar with Ponyville and its citizens.”

“So – how familiar with him did you get after you carried your stallion home?” asked the pink mare with a dark pink mane and tail, waggling her eyebrows suggestively.

“Once again, not my stallion, Berryshine! I just took him home, undressed him, and put him to bed.”

“Did you have to add the part about undressing me?” Caleb asked with embarrassed exasperation. “Listen ladies, she’s not even my species!”

The two mares looked at each other with broad grins before giggling and continuing on their way.

“Great!” grumbled Willow. “Now I have two of the biggest gossips in town thinking I can’t score with a stallion.”

“But we weren’t on a date!” the human objected.

“And you saw how much difference that made,” the mare replied sarcastically. “Come on – I need food.” Willow marched ahead, forcing Caleb to hasten to catch up.

Caleb noticed what Willow had told him about the previous evening – at least three out of four ponies he saw were mares. While a few gave him nervous looks, most were curious about the new creature in town. He even recognized a few from the bar and gave them a wave which they returned with smiles.

Along the way, Caleb got to see many unusual buildings in this eclectic mix of architectural styles and whimsy. However, the gingerbread house they were headed for had to take the cake, pun intended. He guessed that this had to be Sugarcube Corner. He dreaded to think what else it could be otherwise. Willow marched right up to it though and held the door open for him once more, so in he went.

Half of the interior seemed to be devoted to a typical shop counter with displays of baked goods, but the other half had seating in the form of booths and free-standing tables. Willow immediately headed to one of the latter and indicated that the human should join her by holding out a chair for him. Caleb reluctantly sat down on the far-too-low seat, his knees coming halfway up his chest. He would have preferred a booth which had higher cushioned seats that ponies could lie on instead. His guide seemed oblivious to his discomfort though and he just sighed and rolled with it.

“OH WOW! A NEWCOMER!” someone squealed excitedly right next to Caleb, causing him to almost fall out of his awkward chair.

The man looked around to see a bright pink earth pony practically vibrating with enthusiasm, her eyes wide and her grin stretching from ear to ear.

“The moment I woke up this morning, I got a twitchy ear, a tingle in my tail, and a flutter in my heart that told me that we were getting a very special new citizen in Ponyville and here you are in Sugarcube Corner where I can meet you and welcome you to our town and feed you your very first ‘Welcome To Ponyville’ breakfast while I find out all about you, like what’s your favorite food, where you’re staying, your birthday, your favorite color, your pets, what friends you’d like to bring to your party where you can tell us all about the world you came from and how you got here and—”

Pinkie!” Willow firmly interrupted.

“Yes, Willow Branch?” the pink mare asked with a scarcely dimmed smile.

“Caleb and I would like to order, please. You can plan the party later.”

Pinkie tried to look innocent. “What party? Who said anything about a party?” She then leaned close Willow and said in a whisper that was nevertheless still loud enough for the human to hear. “Ssh! You’ll spoil the surprise.

Willow rolled her eyes. “Right. I’d like the Breakfast Special. What about you, Caleb?”

“What’s in the Special?” he asked.

Pinkie replied, “Waffles, hayfries, and a thick shake – seventeen different flavors.”

“Not all in one shake, I hope,” Caleb joked.

“Only if you order it that way,” the pink mare replied, “but I personally think the pineapple clashes with the spearmint.”

The man felt a little queasy at the thought and wished he hadn’t brought it up. “Okay, I’d prefer coffee anyway, and I don’t think I can eat hay. Got any eggs and bacon?”

Willow looked a little aghast at the suggestion but Pinkie took it in stride. “No, silly! This is a bakery, not a griffon restaurant. How about I bring you waffles with extra syrup and ice cream? And a banana and strawberry smoothie?”

“That seems like an awful lot of sugar,” Caleb said doubtfully.

“Nonsense!” Willow scoffed. “Gotta keep up your sugar intake to maintain your stalliony figure.”

He gave her the side-eye, wondering if she was pulling his leg. Then he shrugged. Once wasn’t going to hurt. “Sounds good, umm… Pinkie, was it?”

“That’s me – Pinkie Pie! Baker and party planner extraordinaire! I’ll be right back with your food.” And then dashed off so fast that it seemed to Caleb that she had vanished, leaving just a pink streak lingering in the air.

“Well… that happened,” the man said, slightly dazed by the experience.

“You’ll get used to her,” Willow assured him. “As the Bearer of the Element of Laughter, she’s always upbeat, although perhaps a little too much sometimes.”

“Element of Laughter?”

“Oh, right – you don’t know about those, do you?”

Willow started explaining and continued to tell their history even after their food arrived. Caleb found the tale fascinating but almost unbelievable. He might have queried it more if he hadn’t been distracted by the absolutely delicious food that he’d been served. He figured he’d have more than a bit of a “stalliony figure” if he ate like this too often.

“So, the day was saved by the Magic of Friendship?” he asked skeptically.

“Yeah, I know,” Willow sympathized, “and as a soldier, I would tend to agree with your assessment, but that stuff really works. Harmony is a powerful force here. Knock it at your peril.”

As he watched a unicorn customer levitate a box of donuts out of the shop, Caleb reminded himself that magic rewrote all the rules he was familiar with. He had a lot to learn about this world he was stuck in. “I’ll keep that in mind,” he assured her.

Willow got up out of her chair, leaving payment for the meal on the table. “Let’s go. I’ve got to show you around more of Ponyville before we have to get back to the castle to meet up with Prince Mark.”

He nodded and followed. They had no sooner stepped out of the shop when there was a gasp from one side.

“It’s you!”

Caleb turned to his left to see a familiar mint green unicorn excitedly pronking on the spot.

“Oh. Hi… Lyra, wasn’t it?” the man said with a polite smile.

“Have you thought any more about that job I suggested?”

“Job? What job?”

The minty mare walked up to him. “You know! Masseur at the Ponyville Spa! I want to be your first customer!”

Caleb’s headache had faded but it threatened to return as he strained to recall what had happened later in the evening. “Oh, yeah, I think I remember that. I don’t think so. Not really my thing.”

“But you’re so good at it!” Lyra then thrust her head under his hand and he reflexively petted her. “Ooh! See!”

“Knock it off, Lyra,” Willow demanded. “You’re annoying Caleb.”

“No I’m not!” She turned wide, quivering eyes up at the man. “Am I, handsome human stallion?”

Caleb chuckled. “You and that pleading look of yours might be the most adorable thing I’ve seen in my entire life.” That earned a squee from the unicorn mare.

Willow glared at her then yelled, “Bon Bon! Your wife is harassing my human!

Lyra jerked away from Caleb. “No! Don’t say that!”

Too late. From a side street, they heard, “Lyra Heartstrings! Are you doing it again after I told you not to?

Lyra gave them a forced smile. “Gotta go. Catch you later!” Then she galloped off… away from the accusatory voice.

Caleb looked at Willow with a raised eyebrow. “Your human?”

The earth mare blushed. “I meant you are my responsibility. Of course.”

The man chuckled. “Right. Shall we proceed with the tour, mistress?” he teased.

Willow’s blush deepened as she turned away. What would the other mares think of her trying to claim a stallion for herself? Even one of another species? “Come on – we’re burning daylight!”

It was a bit of a whirlwind tour, but Caleb learned the location of several useful places such as the hardware store and the lumber yard. He puzzled over “Quills & Sofas” and other bizarre combinations though. They passed the railway station just as a train pulled in. Caleb called Willow over to point out something to her.

“See the steam engine and how everything is riveted together? Well, if I can bring modern welding techniques to Equestria, you can learn how to weld components to make them stronger. That way, you can get higher steam pressures and greater efficiency.”

“Sounds great. Do you plan to mention that to the Triarchs?”

“Yep.”

“So – not a masseur then?” Willow asked drolly.

Caleb laughed. “No, or at least not as a job. I might try it as a hobby though.” He smiled wickedly as he put his hand on the mare’s head and scritched her behind the ears.

Willow melted. It felt so… oooooh. Then her eyes widened. ‘Oh, crap! Not here in public. I’ll lose my mare card for sure!’ She hastily pulled away from the human. “Not the time for that. Come – we’ve got to head back to the castle now.” She trotted off without waiting to see if he followed.

Caleb chuckled as he hurried to catch up with the mare.

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