Chapter 4
Caleb mused on what he had just learned. He had a good look around the bar, noting the customers. Aside from a couple of griffons raucously socializing in the far corner, the patrons were all ponies, and the majority of them were of one tribe.
“Is it my imagination or are there way more earth ponies here than unicorns or pegasi?” he asked.
“Nope, that’s pretty normal,” Willow replied. “Ponyville was originally an earth pony settlement and the population is still biased in favor of us. And besides, this bar is our favorite. You’d find a whole different crowd over at The Bucking Mare.”
“You’ve got me curious. I might have to go there sometime and check it out. See if they have beer as good as this there too.” He then drained half his glass.
“Nah! They go for the more frou-frou drinks there. The entertainment ain’t bad though.” She then matched the human’s drinking effort.
“I suppose I’ll find out for myself sooner or later seeing as I’m stuck here.” He sighed and finished off his beer before fidgeting with his tankard.
Willow watched in fascination as Caleb twirled the cup around and balanced it on one digit. “Those things of yours – they're mesmerizing.”
“Things?”
The mare pointed to his hand. “Those things on your paws.”
“You mean my fingers?” He held up his hand and wiggled them.
“Yeah. They’re kind of weird how they grasp things.”
Caleb snorted. “This from a horse with only hooves to hold stuff. How the hell does a species without hands develop a civilization? Even if you can do magic!”
“Can’t be too hard if nearly hairless apes can do it too. And don’t call us horses – that’s an insult here.”
“Calling us apes is the same,” Caleb replied with a frown.
“Eh. Sorry about that. My point still stands though.”
Caleb held his right hand out in front of the mare. “Hands and fingers are flexible, versatile, and pretty strong for their size. Your hooves are big and rigid. Not going to argue about their strength however.” He then picked up the beer jug and refilled his tankard.
Willow held up her free hoof with the bottom facing the man. “See the frog?” At Caleb’s uncomprehending look, she added, “The soft part under the hoof itself. That can be manipulated to hold items like small tools and little objects such as money.” She reached into her mane and pulled out her purse. With zero difficulty, she opened it and extracted a coin which she held up to show to the man. “See? No problem.”
Caleb perceived that the frog had expanded a little around the coin. “That’s amazing, although slightly less so than how you stash that purse of yours.”
“Oh, the frog is used for fine control. Everything else is tactile magic. We can use our mane and tail to hold things so most of us store our bit purses there. It’s also how we can manage larger stuff like the harness that I put on to pull the cart today.”
The man recalled wondering about how she had done that but had been too preoccupied with his predicament to pursue it at the time. “I suppose that’s also what you use to do your construction work?”
“You got it. Speaking of work, I overheard you and Prince Mark discussing modern welding for construction purposes. What’s that all about?”
“It’s quite a complex subject but, basically, it involves using electricity to weld metals rather than bolting or riveting them. It allows you to go beyond the limitations of your current techniques, if what Prince Mark told me is accurate.”
“Sounds fascinating. You’ll have to show me sometime.”
Caleb took a long drink and grimaced. “I’ll probably get the chance. If I’m here permanently—”
Anything else the man was about to say was cut off by a gasp that sliced through the air and halted all conversation. Caleb turned to see what had to be the happiest pony in all of Equestria, if her beaming smile, clopping forehooves, and body vibration somewhere high on the Richter Scale were any indication. The unicorn mare had a mint green coat and a blue mane and tail with white highlights.
Having only eyes for the man, she jumped over two tables and plowed through a couple more on her straight line journey to stand in front of Caleb. “Standing” might not be the correct word because she danced on her tippyhooves . “A human! A real-live human! Oh, my gosh! Oh, my gosh! You’re already my favorite person in all of Equus!”
Caleb laughed. This mare’s enthusiasm looked more like a potty-dance than anything else. He doubted she cared. “I didn’t realize I already had a fan club.”
“Yep, that’s me! Lyra Heartstrings at your service!” Her dancing stopped and the unicorn thrust out her right foreleg, twisted to expose the frog.
The man smiled wider and shook the offered hoof. “I’m Caleb. And it’s nice to meet you, Lyra.”
“Eeeee!” The mare’s rapid bouncing started again. Lyra’s eyes shifted to a frowning Willow. Her jumping stopped and her voice lost all trace of its previous happiness. “Oh… I’m sorry. I know we’ve met… but… what was your name again?”
The earth pony’s nose flared with a huff. “Willow Branch. It’s the same name I had when I worked on your house… last month.”
Lyra nodded her head slowly. “Oooooh… that’s riiiiiiight.”
“For over a week.”
A new voice cut in. “Sorry if my spouse has been bothering you, Caleb.” The man turned to see a creamy yellow earth pony mare with a pink and blue mane and tail. She wrapped a foreleg around the light green unicorn. “Come on, dear. Let them enjoy their date.”
The unicorn protested even as she was being dragged backward. Lyra waved her hooves for emphasis. “But, Bonnie! Human! Right here! Not my imagination!”
The man called out to the retreating earth pony, “I’m Caleb, by the way. Nice to meet you!”
“Bon Bon. Have a good night, Mr. Awad.”
As the sounds of Lyra’s protests died away, Caleb turned back to Willow. “Well, that was a bit odd. And how did Bon Bon know my last name?”
The earth pony cocked an eyebrow. “For Ponyville standards, that was everyday-normal. Trust me.” Her smile returned. “Anyway, before we were so rudely interrupted, you were talking about your past employment.”
“Oh, yeah. I’ll need to get a job. And if the Prince’s goals are anything to go by, he’s going to need someone like me to teach somepony like you how to use that modern equipment.”
“Put me in for an apprenticeship,” Willow said with a grin as she refilled her tankard.
The man chuckled. “Not enamored with your current job?”
The mare shrugged. “It’s okay but not exactly mind-stimulating.”
“Heh! You’d be my first apprentice. I wonder if I’ll need a license to teach here?”
“Sounds like that’s the Triarchy’s problem if they want the benefit of your experience.”
“Probably. They can build a trade school and give diplomas to the graduates,” Caleb said a little too enthusiastically as he was getting quite inebriated by now.
The mare grinned and waved her forehooves expansively. “I’ll hang mine on my wall so everypony can see that Willow Branch is a Professional Welderer!”
Caleb chuckled. “I’d like to see that. By the way, I like your name, but how do you get one like that? All the ponies I’ve met seem to have descriptive names.”
“I was named that because I’m strong but flexible.” She slid out of the booth and into the aisle. She then reared up on her hind legs and continued to bend back until her forehooves touched the floor behind her. She then pushed with her hind legs to bring them up and over her until they were firmly on the floor once more. “See?” she asked with a smile.
Caleb had seen way more than he wanted to from the nude mare. He just nodded though and replied, “Yeah. But how did your parents know you’d be like that?”
“Appropriate names come to parents when the time arrives,” she explained as she sat down again. “But what about your name? It sounds like a bunch of meaningless syllables to me.” She picked up her beer to take a swig.
“That’s probably because it’s derived from another language. Caleb means ‘Faithful’ and Awad means ‘Kindness’.”
Willow slammed down her tankard and pointed at the man. “Now that’s a proper pony name! Faithful Kindness! You ought to put that on your teaching license when you get it.
Caleb laughed. “I don’t think so, but glad you like it anyway.”
“So, where does a name like that come from?”
“My parents came from a country called Lebanon. They immigrated to America which is where I was born but they still gave me a traditional Lebanese name.”
“Funny name for countries too,” Willow said with a grin before having another drink.
Caleb glared at her. “This from a world with pun names like Los Pegasus and Canterlot!”
Willow returned his gaze with a steely one of her own. For a long moment, they locked eyes unwaveringly. Then they both suddenly burst into laughter.
Willow refilled her glass and then did the same for Caleb. “What was your family like?”
The human swallowed a few mouthfuls before replying. “Pretty great, actually. My parents moved us to get away from the troubles in that region. I was born two months after they arrived but my brother and sister were conceived in America. Dad worked hard to build a new life for us. Our parents made sure that we kids got a good education and they were very proud of our accomplishments. We had our troubles but everyone was there for each other.” He looked at his beer mournfully before finishing it off. “I’m going to miss our family gatherings.”
The mare nodded in agreement. “My folks were pretty great too. Pretty strict and traditional but a lot of military families are like that. I still miss them after all these years.”
Willow drained her glass and considered getting more but decided against it. “I think we’ve both have had enough,” she slurred. “Better get you back to your room.”
Caleb snorted. “Yeah, I s'pose.” He unsteadily got to his feet as the mare slid out of her seat.
They both headed for the door and stepped out into the cool evening air. Willow noticed the human swaying a little and wondered if his amazing balance was failing him in his drunken state. “Are you okay, Caleb?”
“Sure. I’ll be fine.” He started staggering in the direction of Twilight’s castle.
‘At least he still knows which way to go,’ Willow thought as she followed, not too steady on her hooves either.
“Yoo hoo!”
Willow sighed. Already dreading who could have called out. Sure enough, a mint-colored unicorn trotted up.
“Do you remember me, Caleb? I’m Lyra.”
The human turned a bit too fast and had to catch his balance. “Aha! My number one fan!”
She giggled. “The very one! Actually, as much as I’d love to chat, I have to get back home before Bonnie notice… well, I just needed to tell you I know the perfect job for you here in Equestria until you use your technology superpowers to go back home.”
Caleb stood a bit straighter. “Oh?” Willow walked closer with the intention of getting between the human and the unicorn. The man held out a hand to stop her. “I want to hear this.”
Lyra pointed with a hoof. “With those wide palms, strong fingers and stronger muscles, you’d get a job easy with Aloe and Lotus at the Ponyville Spa. You’d make the best masseur in all of Equestria!”
“Uh… massages?”
The unicorn beamed. “Absolutely!” She turned around to face away from the man. “Run your hands on either side of my spine, please.”
The man shrugged and did as instructed. As he stroked and kneaded along both sides of the unicorn’s mane, Lyra’s mouth dropped open. “Uh…. Uh…”
Caleb stopped his motions. “Sorry. I haven’t done this before. Not good?”
“No! Don’t stop. It’s… it feels really nice.” She shifted her hooves. “You’re making me so relaxed I want to fall over.”
Willow tried to get the man’s attention with a tap of her hoof on his flank. She flattened her ears on her head and cleared her throat. “Caleb, I think you’re a bit too drunk—”
Caleb didn’t hear Willow or notice her icy glare. “Yeah, I can feel how relaxed your muscles are getting, Lyra.” He moved his hands down the mare’s back and gave it a few strokes, accompanied by a slight gasp from Lyra. “Huh. Everything is limp except for your tail. That’s rising up.” The man nodded to himself. “Makes sense. Humans get super-tense in their lower backs. Do you want me to rub down there?”
Lyra closed her eyes and her smile turned predatory. “Oh, I’ll tell you when your hands are low enough. Keep going.”
Willow leaned into Caleb with her shoulder to force him back a step. “Ohhhhh-kaaaaay. Job tryout time is over. We’re done here now.”
From the darkness behind the three, a voice called out. “Lyra! Where are you, you crazy mare!”
The unicorn’s eyes flew open and she jumped. “Oh, umm… gotta go!” Lyra trotted forward. “See you later, Caleb!”
The man pointed behind himself with a finger. “But the voice is calling you from that way!”
Said voice called out again. “I swear, Lyra! If you’ve been bothering the human, again…”
The unicorn’s gait turned into a gallop and she disappeared into the darkness.
Caleb needed Willow’s help to stand straight again. “How about that. I guess you ponies really are touchy-feely,” he said with a snicker. He patted the earth pony mare on the head affectionately then staggered forward. For a few seconds, Willow didn’t follow, torn between three emotions: Outrage at being handled like a pet, joy that Caleb actually initiated physical contact, and exasperation at the sheer cluelessness of stallions – human ones included.
They were about halfway to the castle when Caleb stumbled and collapsed to the ground. He pushed himself up into a sitting position and leaned on a nearby shop’s wall.
“Do you need some help?”
“Just give me a moment,” he replied, closing his eyes.
The mare waited until she heard snoring. She rolled her eyes and snorted. “Typical stallion – can’t hold his booze.” She then grabbed his robe in her teeth and hauled him onto her back. A second grab let her position him more or less evenly to allow her to carry him properly. She continued down the street, even if a bit unsteadily. “See? Four legs are superior to two,” she told her unconscious passenger.
The Royal Guard thestrals positioned at the front entrance to the castle snorted in amusement as Willow carried him inside. “He couldn’t quite out-drink an earth pony, could he?”
“Nope! But as long as the Triarchs are covering his tab, I’ll let him try!”
That elicited a laugh from both soldiers.
The stairs were slightly more challenging but, eventually, she reached his room. She pulled back the sheet and blanket on his bed before rolling him off onto it without waking him. She sighed.
“I suppose I’m going to have to undress you too. Sheesh! I’d rather be back in the barracks. At least those drunkards could get their own uniforms off!”
She managed to drag the robe off the human, marveling that not even that disturbed his slumber. She then had a good look at Caleb in an unclothed state for the first time.
“That’s the only place he has more hair? No wonder he needs to wear clothes. Maybe he should ask Princess Twilight if she can magic up a decent pony coat for him.” She thought about that for a moment. “Dark blue would suit him, I think, but he’d probably want something to match his skin color. Stallions are picky like that.”
Willow then pulled the bedsheet over him before considering her next step. It was a long walk back to her house and, after her efforts to get the human here, she really didn’t feel like doing so in her inebriated state.
“Ah, buck it!” She then climbed into bed on the opposite side to Caleb. “At least this will save me time in the morning. Got lots to show him yet.” She yawned hugely. “Maybe check in with the forepony…. Let her know… I’m not gonna be….”
Sleep claimed her before she could finish that thought.
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May have not quite out drank an earth pony, but got close I would think this night. it is interesting to see what will happen in the morning...
10967958
Willow will tell Caleb that he's now married. He will immediately swear off all alcoholic drink. There is a reason why strong drinks were discouraged in Middle Eastern societies.
Caleb: "but.... but... it was just beer!?
"
" 
"
Willow: "If you try to drink an earth pony under the table, then beer's way too strong for you. Next time, try this sarsaparilla. It seems to be more your speed.
Caleb: "
Naked human... Beside a mare... Yeah...
That not going to be missunderstanded at all...
Lyra has some great ideas.
Human masseur & Ingenieur
10965517
Doctor Whooves clears his throat, turns and walks away, shaking his head.
10949190
Heh! I almost expected you to pull up this one:
camo.fimfiction.net/atpsFyATh8Be_E_sjfaMcN6tl_UVgII1aEZJDu_k21k?url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.chakat.net%2FPony%2Frarity_s_secret_celestia_by_Longinius_II.png
Guessing not only volume of Beer but the alcoholic content didn't help Caleb. While the Beer Caleb is used to drinking would largely be regulated to 5-8% not sure about beer in Equestria
10968152
Let me give you a hint – it's not called Clydesdale Draught for nothing in a bar catering to earth ponies.
10968164 Guessing the 1liter beer mugs would be called small not to mention to alcoholic content.
Lyra, will you PLEASE stop molesting the human? And Caleb, will you PLEASE be less oblivious?
wow the art work is amazing.
got to keep a eye on Lyra or just tell Bon Bon and let her deal with her.
I can't wait to see the morning hijinks.
Universal Pony Grippers
A nice chapter
editing point
You missed the " at that start of this dialogue
10969031
Fixed, thanks.
Aand the description delivered, dunno if this was or wasn't an intentional BaronAngel call out.
Either way
Now to way for Sunny to call rise and shine
I always thought Bon-Bon was more of a light beige or cream color, myself...
10970282
That should have read "pale yellow" but cream would have been good too.
10970317
how about creamy yellow?
10970419
Sounds like a good compromise.
10970423
I like good compromises.
getting the colours just right can be tricky at times.
Ponies come in so many different colours, not just the standard few.
But now i am looking forwards to see how this goes, and where it will eventually end up.
10970455
Describing exact color shades can be tricky, to be sure. Apparently, according to the "MLP Fandom" wiki, Bon-Bon's coat color is actually "light apple greenish gray"... but who the heck wants to keep typing that out every time she appears?
Uh oh
Where is Rarity? I'd figured she'd be chomppin at the bit to make his cloths.
10973114
Patience!
Magnificent to think about all the fun Lyra will have on the poor clueless biped stallion 👍
I wonder if booping ponys on the nose has more than cute face effects
Guess our singel human has already the eyes of two mares. I wonder who will be also interessted?
How about some Griffon lore? Or Minatours
Love the art and the fan service ♡
Heh, he was too far gone already to notice BonBon passively claimed them to be on a date, but that casual call out when they entered totally flew over his dizzy head.
Can see it now, tomorrow: "wait, did I really scratch Lyra's butt?!,"
Now I want to go to this Equestria because of its female dominant ideals.
How will he take being hung over with a naked mare next to him?! Glad I don't have to wait for a chapter update!
11020773
Well, since I read ahead of this one, Id say quite a few... but why would perhaps be the more apt question.
One of these things thats always bugged me is... I suppose the ease that they slide into matters, if you'll forgive the double entendre. Okay, like ponies, they're in a situation surrounded by other species, so they might be a pansexual going on since they are capable of breeding with life there (which probably has to do with their polymorphic nature), and I suppose a human not having many options might give a more amorous encounter a shot, but due to both emotional and physical compatability its a long one.
Caleb is still a better better then Lero in any case, that hippy dippy gary stu
(not attacking, just saying I like Caleb better all right, largely because he has an actual personality.)=
11384473
This proposes that females are inherently better at holding to said ideals and from there building a society.
Are you making assumptions about gender? In my fandom!
Shame on you, you sexist malcontent.
10968164
There going full dwarve on this mother!