• Published 25th Aug 2021
  • 869 Views, 28 Comments

They Fight Crime - Shilic



Maud is a geology student with super strength. Trixie is a stage magician with a magical tome. Starlight is a demon trapped said magical tome. They fight crime. And they're girlfriends.

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Issue #1

Fillydelphia wasn’t exactly the kind of city with an extremely dangerous reputation. It’s crime rates weren’t abnormally high, and it certainly didn’t see frequent supervillain attacks like the statistical anomaly that was Canterlot City. But it wasn’t perfectly safe either; it was still the kind of city where a young woman could get mugged by a group of thugs in a dark alley.

“Help! I’m a young woman being mugged by a group of thugs in a dark alley!”

“You’ve got that right,” the lead thug said with a wicked grin, raising the switchblade knife in his hand and pointing it at his target. “Now, gimme all your stuff!”

The target in question, the aforementioned young woman, flinched, cringing back away from the weapon. Her name was Sunflower, and she’d made the probably poor choice to stay out late with friends, followed by the definitely poor choice of walking home alone. The fact that this was her first time being mugged by a group of thugs in a dark alley spoke less to her personal life choices, and more a combination of Fillydelphia’s safety as a place to live, and sheer dumb luck.

As is traditional, the group cornering her numbered three. The leader, who naturally stood ahead of the other two, was the one holding the knife, a large man with an outrageous black mullet and sharp, grey eyes. His lackeys flanked him; as also is traditional, one was extremely tall and thin, and the other shorter, with broad, burly shoulders, both with malicious yet doofy expression betraying their status as dumb muscle. They were all wearing black leather jackets, which completed their very specific look of ‘having walked straight out a movie set in the 1960s.’

“Listen, I don’t gotta hurt ya,” the knife wielding thug said, taking a step forward. “All you gotta do is hand over your cash, your jewelry, and anything else nice you’ve got. Then, we can all go home.” He turned his head over his shoulders to look at his partners in crime. “Ain’t that right, boys?”

“Yeah, Boss,” the thin thug replied in a snively voice. “Don’t want to hurt a lady.”

“Wouldn’t be proper.” the bulky thug echoed, his voice lower and dopey sounding.

“See?” The leader turned back to Sunflower, sneering. “We’re not so bad. So… what’s it gonna be?”

You will go no further!

“Huh?” The thugs flinched, looking around. The voice, bold and bombastic, didn’t come from Sunflower, and it didn’t come from any of her attackers either, not just because it was femmine, but because it would be really weird for any of them to say that in the first place. “Who’s there?” The leader yelled, waving his knife around.

Vile criminal scum! You will see no mercy from the wrath of-” Out of nowhere, a cloud of blue smoke burst up from the ground between Sunflower and the thugs, forcing them to cover their eyes and take a step back. As the smoke settled, a figure, one who hadn’t been there prior, stepped forward, striking a dramatic pose “The Great and Powerful Trixie!

‘The Great and Powerful Trixie’ happened to be another young woman, around the same age as Sunflower, dressed in light blue and purple outfit that was best summed up as ‘overly elaborate sorceress’, complete with a hat and cape covered in stars. In her right hand, she held a thick, brown book with two turquoise wisps and a purple and white star on the cover, one that would best be classified as a ‘tome’, which completed her very specific look of ‘anime magic user.”

The thugs started at Trixie, unable to decide if her sudden appearance and dramatic declaration was impressive, or completely absurd. “Who the hell are you supposed to be?” The lead thug asked.

Trixie scoffed. “Clearly, you need to pay more attention when people are speaking to you!” She raised her free hand and pointed at the group of goons. “Clean the wax out of your ears and listen up! The Great and Powerful Trixie has arrived, and that means the end of your wicked ways!” She smirked. “Now, drop the weapon and put your hands up, and maybe Trixie will let you walk away without a fight.”

The muggers blinked, looking back and forth between Trixie and each other... and then burst out into laughter. “Are you crazy?” Their leader asked between wheezing breaths. “You think we’re gonna surrender to you? You’ve gotta be kidding!”

“The Great and Powerful Trixie never kids!” Trixie replied smugly. “But she does do tricks. And for her first trick…” Seemingly under its own power, her book floated out of her hand and up in front of her, opening by itself and flipping through its pages at a rapid pace. “Trixie will make your weapon… disappear!

The knife wielding thug, clearly too distracted by laughing to notice Trixie’s magical floating book, raised an eyebrow, and his switchblade. “Really?” He asked, tone as sharp and threatening as his weapon. “Ya wanna bet?”

“Trixie will take that bet, and she will win it!” Her book began to glow a light turquoise, as did Trixie’s left hand. The lead thug’s grin fell, and he took a half step back, suddenly realizing the reality of the situation. “And now, I say the magic words…” She thrust her arm out dramatically. “Abraca-TRIXIE!

A bolt of turquoise light shot from Trixie’s hand, flying towards the lead thug at an incredible speed. It struck his knife dead on, causing it to vanish in a puff of blue smoke. The now weaponless mugger stared at his empty hands in disbelief, eyes wide. “What…” He looked up at Trixie, scowling. “That was my favorite knife!”

Trixie grinned smugly, flipping her long silver hair with a flick of her head. “Aw, such a shame. Maybe you should have thought of that before pointing it at Trixie. Now, do you want to give up, or shall we do this the hard way?”

“There’s still more of us then there are of you!” The lead thug cracked his knuckles and rolled his shoulders. “You can’t take us all on!” His lackeys nodded in affirmation, readying themselves for a fistfight as well.

Trixie remained unphased. “Perhaps you’re right. Maybe, Trixie can’t.” She said, her grin widening. “But she can.”

“Huh?” Before he could ask who Trixie was talking about, the lead thug felt a tap on his shoulder. Spinning around, he found himself face to face with yet another woman, one dressed in a grey-blue hoodie and sweatpants, with an extremely apathetic expression.

“Hello.” She said, voice completely monotone.

“Wha-”

That was all he could get out before the woman punched him in the stomach.

The force of the blow sent him soaring through the air, arms and legs flailing wildly. He crashed face first into a conveniently placed pile of trash bags on the side of the alley, going limp with a muffled groan.

His buddies watched him get sent flying, and then turned to face the bored looking woman. The larger of the two, in a move that proved just how phenomenally stupid he was, threw a punch at her.

She caught it in her palm without flinching. “That was a bad idea.” She said, tone still completely emotionless. She twisted her hand, and the thug’s arm shuddered as his shoulder was dislocated from the force. Then, she pushed him back, sending him stumbling into the side of the alley and down next to his boss.

The third thug took a step back, eyes darting around wildly. “Now, h-hang on,” he stammered. “Let’s just talk about this for a momen-”

A bolt of turquoise struck the back of his head. His whole body shook for a second, and then his eyes closed and he slumped over. The woman moved forward, catching him over her shoulder before he fell to the ground. A light snore came from his mouth as she lay him next to his fallen comrades.

“Well then,” Trixie dusted off her hands. “Trixie would say that went rather well.” A rope coiled around from under her cape and flew through the air, pulling the three dazed goons together and tying them up.

“Mmm.” The apathetic woman gave a light nod, and walked past Trixie and towards Sunflower, who was cowering in the back of the alley. “You okay?” She asked, reaching out her hand.

Sunflower nodded hesitantly, taking the woman’s hand and staggering to her feet. “You… you saved me…” She stammered in disbelief.

“Yep!” Trixie said, tucking her book under her arm and spinning around. “All in a night’s work for The Great and Powerful Trixie!” She paused. “And Maud!” She added, giving her companion’s shoulders a quick hug. Maud, for her part, just gave Sunflower a light wave.

“How can I ever repay you?” Sunflower asked.

“There is no need!” Trixie put her hands on her hips, her cape and hair billowed in a non-existence breeze. “For the only thing The Great and Powerful Trixie desires is the adoration of those she helps!”

“...Ooookay then…” Sunflower took a step back, becoming increasingly concerned at how bizarre her saviours were.

“Hey, aren’t you forgetting someone?”

Sunflower blinked. The new voice hadn’t come from Trixie, or Maud, but… “Did… did that book just talk?” She asked.

The book in question wormed its way out from under Trixie’s arm, floating up to Sunflower’s face. It opened up, revealing an illustration of a purple skinned woman dressed in form fitting green and purple robes, a pair of curved horns sticking out of the top of her head. The woman moved inside the image, leaning forward with an annoyed expression. “I swear, sometimes I think Trixie forgets who provides the power around here…”

Sunflower just stared at the irritated illustrated woman inside the magical floating book, jaw agape, for several seconds. After which, her brain promptly decided it had had more than enough weirdness for one night, and that now would be a very good time to stop thinking for a while. Her eyes rolled into the back of her head, and she slumped to the ground, landing in yet another conveniently placed pile of trash bags.

The woman in the illustration froze. “...Oops.”


“How was I supposed to know I’d make her faint? I just wanted some recognition!”

Trixie just stared at her. “Starlight, you are a purple skinned demon! Inside a book!”

“I thought you found that sexy!” Starlight gaped.

I do! Extremely!” Trixie shot back. “But that doesn’t mean random people on the street aren’t going to freak out!”

The three of them had retreated to a rooftop, because rooftops were where all heroes hung out after successfully saving people. Maud stood watching over the edge in a way that would have been dramatic and inspiring if her face wasn’t perpetually stuck in a non-expression, while Trixie leaned against a ventilation box, Starlight floating in front of her.

Starlight’s avatar shook her head, her hair not reacting at all to the movement and moving as a static lump. “Are you sure you’re not just trying to hog the spotlight?”

Trixie opened her mouth to respond… and then stopped. “Okay, that might be true.” She admitted. “Just a little. But that’s besides the point.”

I don’t think it is…” Starlight said in a sing-song voice. “Admit it. You don’t want people finding out where you draw your magic from, because then you wouldn’t be the one getting all the praise and adoration, it would be me, ” She smirked confidently. “The sexy book demon.”

“That’s ridiculous.” Trixie said flatly, crossing her arms and sticking her nose in the air. “Trixie will not respond to such lies and slander.”

“It’s not slander if it’s true…”

“Blatant falsehoods.” Trixie insisted. “Trixie is perfectly capable of sharing her spotlight. She just does not wish to scare people who are less receptive to cute demon girls inside magic books.”

“Cuter than you?” Starlight asked with a sly grin.

Trixie gave a mock gasp. “How dare you? Trixie will have you know that she is much better looking! And besides, you’re just a drawing, you don’t count.”

Now it was Starlight’s turn to gasp. “And I’ll have you know that this is exactly how I used to look!”

“Really?” Trixie raised an eyebrow. “You sure you didn’t take the chance to make some… let’s say ‘minor alterations’?”

“Now look who’s spreading lies and slander.” Starlight put her hands on her hips. “Well, there’s one way to settle this.” She spun her book around. “Hey, Maud!” She called.

“Yes?” Maud turned around herself, walking over towards Trixie and Starlight.

“Who’s prettier: Me, or Trixie?” Starlight asked.

“Hey, come on Starlight, you can’t just ask a question like that!” Trixie shook her head. “How could you force Maud to hurt your feelings?”

“Mine?” Starlight questioned with a smirk. “Or yours?”

Maud blinked, slowly looking back and forth between them, and said nothing for a while. Starlight and Trixie both watched her, a tense moment passing over the rooftop. Eventually, she answered.

“You’re both extremely attractive.” Maud said, in her usual expressionless tone.

Trixie and Starlight looked at each other, lips curling upwards. “Pft…” Trixie put a hand to her mouth, trying and failing to stifle her giggles.

“Heheh…” Starlight did the same, her book wobbling a little as she tried to maintain her composure.

Trixie broke first. “Pwahahaha!” She put her hands on her stomach, leaning over from laughing so hard. Starlight cracked soon after, her book fluttering erratically in the air from her giggles.

Maud, why was that- how are you so funny?” Starlight asked in between laughs.

“Natural talent.” Maud replied without missing a beat, causing Starlight and Trixie to laugh harder. Maud’s own mouth moved up an imperceptible fraction, which for her was the equivalent of rolling around on the floor.

Argument forgotten, the three of them spent a moment simply laughing and enjoying each other’s company.

For about three minutes, before one of the building’s tenants chased them off with a broom for making loud noises while he was trying to sleep.