Quality over quanity ~ Really like to write Anon stories, if you like to read them, then follow along! (Note: Not every story I make will be Anon)
Trixie is a brave, talented mare with a confident heart, but is she all she's cracked up to be? For her, life can come at a cost and things aren't always so black and white. Struggles come in all forms in everyone's lives so can she come to term with hers? Maybe she's the problem, maybe.
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Ouch the doctor bit kinda hurt the feelz there.
10948209 I'm glad you liked it!
Keep going. This is nice
10954301 Thanks!
Come on... just press your Pony lips against his human mouth already!
YES
Bruh this be turning out great
10976421
Lol. Ch. 7 and 15 were my favorites to write! I’m glad you liked how the story turned out!
10976434
Thanks Skittle! I honestly had no idea how people would react to this story but I’m glad you like it.
Ngl, while I know he's trying to be caring towards Trixie, he kinda feels like a dick here for barging into her business like this.
Ah, yes physical work that makes you breathe heavily is always dangerous, totally not just you doing exercise.
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Yeah I guess he sort of is. I'm not sure if it's really him trying to be caring at this point. He is just barging into her business. Unneeded curiosity you could say.
10980407
Ha ha. Silly for sure, but she cares nonetheless lol.
Surprising he thinks stage fright/anxiety/stress would be part of the act. While he might not know that's what she's experiencing rn, he should at least know something's wrong, or at least, that's what I think. 🤔
Wow, the thinking emoji looks weird here.Weeks plural? I felt like it's only been a week, that was kinda surprising to me.
Damn...what a crappy childhood. Crapoy teacher and principal too.
Glad Trixie snapped at her mom earlier.
11020062
Hey, thanks for reading! I see you're a Trixie and Pinkie fan, the best kind :p
Regardless though, I hope you enjoyed my story!
11020622
Oh I def did. It was adorable and what a lovely ending.
*Extremely Loud Applause*
That was a good story!
11104863
Thank you so much!
moral of the story is:
fuck applejack
Where to start...
First, I would like to say that I was impressed by your story. I had it in my 'to read later' bookshelf for a while and was not disappointed. You say it was the first story you ever wrote? Well, you must have put quite alot of effort into it, because if you hadn't pointed that out I'd assume you are a well established writer.
I am surpised your story sofar had as little attention as it did. So I am writing this to give you some criticism, really more of a feedback and recounting my impresions since the story was really good.
In general the idea of a story featuring Anon and Trixie is a really tempting one since it implies travel and adventure, and I have thought about a number of different plot lines revolving around that. Stories like this can reach <200k characters with ease and still be wanting for more. In the case of Delicate Trixie, although it was 40k words it still felt really short. There were alot of things you skipped. Like their situation with money, how Anon traveled for 3 weeks to find Trixie, more backstories, relationships with other ponies, more descriptions of different places, more mushy situations and adventures of them both, clop. It is just astounding how much you can make out of a plot line like this. But I realize it was your first story. And it's better to finish a shorter story than to shoot over your head with a too large of an undertaking.
Realism. This story was more on realistic side of things. Now what I mean by realism is- "Ponies that act more human than pony and their society resembling that of humans". In the show ponies always seem to prevail against evil and that has to do with their different nature and the presense of magic. One theory that I have is that uninterrupted magical flow throughout Equestria ensures its inhabitants stay healthy and well, but where the magical current twists it creates wicked ponies and other creatures, that are 180 opposite to their peers, but still retain semblance of their pony psychology. This is completely opposite to our human world, where evil and human vice seems to always stay on top, it creeps in and corrupts everyone and everything it touchs, thus acts of heroism and ultimate good being few and far in between.
To further demonstrate this I would like you to look at 2 different stories that bear semblance to yours. Scratched by TogaShi and A Blueberry and Her Greenery by Gentian. One is set in Manehattan, where a young Vinyl Scratch has a hard start as a performer and has to basically flaunt herself at a bar, almost getting raped. The other is of Anon that winds up getting kidnapped by diamond dogs, subsequently rescued by Trixie, they end up in Canterlot where the author describes in detail the backstabbing and vile nature of the nobility that lives there. One has to wonder what the fuck is Celestia doing in these stories.
Finally. It was interesting to me how you portrayed Trixie's personality. Due to the information about the ponies in MLP being limited and many Horsefuckers not accepting developments in later seasons as Canon. Let's face it, they were really bad. I watch MLP for ponies, not Yaks, Mermaids, whatever. Everycreature my ass! Everyone has basically a different view on how Equestria is like and what the personality of ponies are truly like. Some think Rainbow Dash is secretly very mushy when it comes to relationships, other think she is a complete dyke, for example. In the case of Trixie you portrayed her hidden personality, this hurt, shy filly as completely seperate from her stage, ego self. I personally view Trixie's hidden personality as something quite similar, however I also think her ego seeps into it to an extent, so it is not just all acting, and again I think Trixie fell victim to the twisted magical current thing in the show.
Well, I think that's it for me. Hope I didn't go too much off topic and you found this helpful. Be honest, am I overthinking all of this? Hahaha
Thank you for the nice story.
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Wow! Thank you very much! Honestly, I'm blown away that you took time to write your thoughts and critiques on my story, but don't think it goes unnoticed!
Yeah, my story is definitely on the shorter side for sure. I kind of get un-focused so to speak the further I go. It gets harder for me to figure out what I've made the characters do in previous chapters, and I have to try not to replicate it for the fear of it becoming redundant, stale, boring, etc. I really could have made this double the word count, and honestly for a while, I was thinking of doing just that; I just didn't know how to stretch an "Anon and 'insert pony here'" story for that long without it feeling well, again, boring. Though I'm sure other fanfic writers have been able to overcome this exact obstacle with flying colors, I however, am not sure if I could. That being said, with the piles of fanfic ideas rummaging through my head, I have stopped on the thought of making a sequel to this story, though who knows if I'll ever get around to that lmao.
Addressing your point/thoughts about the psychology of characters, to me, I think it's very interesting how every fanfic writer sees characters; like you said about Rainbow Dash, absolutely. I think one of the best, and greatest things about these characters is how open-ended they are. You can go behind the scenes, just trying to find out what thoughts are swimming through their heads, it actually is a very intriguing notion to think that each character can have their own, heavy, emotional baggage, or delightful fun experiences that could have happened in their individual lives. I really, really, like that aspect about writing fanfics in general; and although my Pinkie story isn't as dark, it's still fun to prod into that pink pony's mind, just to poke around and see what makes her tick.
No, I don't think you're overthinking it at all, believe me lol. It's fun to come up with crazy theories or your own stories for characters, to me, that's what being a fan is all about! Get creative, maybe you can even play it safe, but one things for certain, it's your world-view, and that's something nobody else can replicate.
Thank you again, Faraday. I'm sincerely thankful for the read, and the critique.
hon hon hon yisss, this is a nice piece to add to my collection.
Read it in a sit, loved every single bit. Haven't looked at many AnonTrixie fics–nor found many, but there's something special when I come across one I can enjoy to completion.
Dammit, you got me as a follower.
11242460
Hey, appreciate that. Funny enough the reason I started writing in the first place was really because I was saddened by the lack of Anon fics in general, thought I'd just add a couple more to the roster. Glad you liked it though, and thanks for the follow!
That hospital better be shut down by the end of this.
This is one screwed up world you wrote here.
Хорошо написано! 😊
Очень хороший конец и мне кажется чуть чуть грустный и за шляпы этой... Воспоминания о детстве. 😭
Trixie is unfairly treated like dirt.
I'll continue reading, but this is ridiculous. A pony hospital wouldn't turn away a patient.
Love this story so much such a good way to write Trixie.
That was a good fanfic and a good way to write a trixie
Perfect