(Aro)und the Kingdom Part 1
“I’m afraid I need to head back to the troupe,” Grimm explained over breakfast. “Will you three be alright?”
Hearth moved her wings in a shrug as she looked up at him from across the round dining table. She was seated next to Hollow, with Ghost on their sibling’s other side. The previous night had been spent planning and the ‘ling and two bugs had the beginnings of a plan.
“We’ll be fine Master,” she replied, a fork hovered in her magic with a piece of meat speared onto it. “I plan on taking a break from my magic retraining so these two can give me a tour of Hallownest.”
She had reared and taught many a changeling magic, she knew the lessons, the techniques, by heart. But what was most important for her training to readjust to her new level of power, was ensuring she didn’t burn herself out in the process. So, in the pursuit of giving her magic and mind a break, she suggested the two siblings show her around.
“Ah I see, will you have need of anything before I leave?” Grimm asked. “Ghost, how are our finances looking?”
Hearth peered past Hollow to watch as Ghost tilted their head to the side in contemplation.
Well, I already set aside an allowance for Hearth. Ghost explained. She should have the chance to decorate her room to her liking.
“I- really?” she blurted, taken aback by the unexpected generosity. “I thought I’d only be staying here until I could start working again.”
“Nonsense, if you wish to stay here, then you are welcome to,” Grimm replied with a wave of the hand not holding a utensil. “We have worked hard to make this place into a haven of sorts for us and those we cherish. If Ghost insists you can decorate your room, then you are counted among those wonderful souls my children have taken a liking to.”
You have The Ghost Seal of Approval. Hollow commented, mask shifting slightly to show their amusement. A very noteworthy feat.
“Well then, I appreciate the hospitality.” Hearth said cordially.
She still had to catch herself sometimes, reminding herself that she wasn’t under the rule of a tyrant, that she could express herself and do what she wished. Even so, it was difficult for her to break the passive sense of emotional numbness that had permeated her thoughts ever before leaving the hide.
She still cared, and greatly so, but Chrysalis had subconsciously instilled an idea that to emote was to disobey, to show even the smallest shred of empathy outside of the hatchery was not a good thing.
And it was yet another thing she had to work on. It was difficult to even fathom the idea that something was… wrong, that she shouldn’t be idle awaiting her next order, or practice regaining mastery over her magic just for the sake of being useful. She’d been handling it fine before Grimm found her, it had been her normal for years.
She was torn between acknowledging the problem and telling herself everything was fine. And now, lost in her own thoughts during breakfast as Grimm and his children chatted and sorted out last minute things before his return to the troupe, she balked at the notion of bringing up her rather jumbled state of mind.
I’ll be fine. She reasoned as she finished up the last of her meal.
With the table cleared and Grimm gone in a puff of smoke, Ghost and Hollow shared a look. Ghost’s wings buzzed erratically from their impatience and utter glee and what they had planned for the mothling.
“Hey Ghost, do you have a nestmate?” Hearth asked as she looked out a window, one that faced the street. She glanced back at them and noticed their confusion. “Sorry-- a significant other or something?”
Ghost’s enthusiasm died where they stood, their stomach dropping in a mix of dread and disappointment as Hollow looked at them quizzically.
No. They answered warily, and Hearth looked out the window again.
“Oh dear,” she muttered and spoke up louder. “Because whoever that is outside, they have some really strong romantic attraction towards you, I can sense it from here,” she wrinkled her nose in distaste. “And I’m going to ignore the sexual attraction thank-you-very-much.”
Hollow tapped one of Ghost’s horns to get their attention.
Shall It meet you at the stagway?
Ghost nodded and sent their sibling the assurance that they would handle things here and join them shortly.
“Want me to go and say something for you?” Hearth asked. “I don’t mean to pry, but are you interested in her at all?”
Ghost walked over and looked out the rather large window. From their vantage point on the second floor, they saw the form of a familiar blue beetle standing just outside the front door, a bouquet and a letter held in her arms.
They felt annoyed and guilty all at once. As Hollow floated out of the room and down the stairs, Ghost took a moment to put their feelings into words, to try and unpack them so they could explain it to Hearth properly.
They kept their gaze firmly on the street below as they formulated their response.
That’s Bretta. She’s a friend of mine.
I saved her life a few months ago, and she likes me, a lot.
I know she does, and I like her too.
But not in the same way she likes me. She’s a very kind person, sensitive, and I’ve tried to tell her that I don’t, I can’t feel the same things she does.
Here they paused and looked over at Hearth. The mothling was giving them her undivided attention, there was no judgement, no disbelief in her expressive features.
Only calm, and a willingness to understand. That alone gave them the courage to continue.
I like romance, I think it’s nice and wholesome and have nothing against her or her feelings for me.
But I can’t reciprocate. I just… I see people as friend shaped, or family shaped, or I-think-they’re-pretty-to-look-at-and-that’s-it-shaped… Not nestmate or lover shaped.
She’s my friend, I care about her, but I feel bad for not being able to share in her romantic feelings for me.
“So, you’ve tried to explain it to her?” Hearth asked and Ghost shrugged.
It’s hard with her. I get my words all muddled because I don’t want to hurt her.
Quirrel does a better job at explaining this stuff. But I don’t want him, or anyone else coming in to speak up for me.
This is my fault for not being able to sort this out sooner.
Silence stretched on as Hearth looked at them, the desire to help written plain as day on her face.
Eventually she sighed, wings and antennae drooping. “I’m sorry… This sounds horrible. I wish I could help but I’ve never really dealt with… anything involving courtship.”
Ghost nodded to her, grateful that she understood. They weren’t really expecting her to do anything, in truth they just wanted someone to talk to in the hopes it would help.
And it did, somewhat.
Just understanding is enough. They replied and headed to the stairwell. I may not like this, but I’ll sort it out.
They descended the stairs and reached the front door all too soon. Nervousness bubbled in their chest, they were conflicted, but they did cherish Bretta as one of their friends.
The dread of losing a friend over something they couldn’t change hung in the air as they opened the door.
Hearth listened from the foot of the stairs just out of sight. Since she wasn’t part of the conversation, the mothling only heard the half spoken aloud by Bretta.
“H-hi Ghost… I got these for you, I hope you like them.”
She relied on her empathetic senses to read the conversation. The flowers and letter dropped into Ghost’s arms was causing them some manner of discomfort as they shifted their small body to hold the items. They were unnerved by the obvious display of affection.
“I know we haven’t talked in a while, but I-I was wondering ifyou’dliketogooutwithme!?”
She saw and felt Ghost freeze on the spot. She offered the bug a reassuring telepathic nudge as Bretta kept talking.
There was no response.
“I-I have it all outlined in the letter, see? We can go on dates in the city, a-and you can introduce me to your family! We can make it work!”
That last phrase sent a sense of uneasiness crawling down Hearth’s spine, Ghost hadn’t gotten a word in, nor had Bretta given them time to reply. It was as if the beetle had her own notion of what Ghost should be and paid no mind to their own opinion in all of this.
“I know you told me you don’t feel love, but you love your family, your friends! I just know with time, you’ll l-love me the same way I love you.”
Hearth was dumbfounded, she was pretty sure that wasn’t how it worked.
Ghost seemed to share her sentiments.
Jolted to their senses by Bretta’s remark they shoved the bouquet and the letter back into her arms and pulled out writing utensils and some parchment from their cloak.
The anger and hurt that blazed to life within their small form took Hearth by surprise, the feeling of betrayal Bretta’s words had caused had spurred Ghost to act, if only to prevent themselves from further hurt.
For several seconds, the only sound that filled the silence was the furious scribbling of Ghost’s reply. Finally, they showed their message to Bretta.
Seconds felt like hours.
Hearth quietly winced at the sharp spike of heartbreak that followed. The flash of disbelief that came from the beetle prompted the mothlnig to move to the front entrance.
“Hey Ghost?” she said as she walked up to the two bugs. “We should get going, we don’t want to keep Hollow waiting, do we?”
Ghost nodded stiffly, glancing back at Bretta. The girl looked up at Hearth and blinked owlishly.
“A-are you… a friend of theirs?” she asked.
Hearth nodded cordially, giving the bettle a polite nod to better diffuse the situation. “I work for their father, since he’s busy and there’s still some technicalities that need to be sorted out before I can start working, Ghost and their sibling have offered to show me around the kingdom.”
“Oh, I see,” Bretta said, shuffling away from the doorway. “I-I won’t keep you… I’d better head home… bye Ghost.”
Ghost awkwardly waved goodbye as the beetle left and ushered Hearth out the door so they could lock it. With the key stored away within themselves, they led the way to the stag station.
“Are you okay?” Hearth asked.
Ghost shook their head. Their emotions a bit of jumbled mess. A mix of anger, confusion, and sadness stood out to the mothling.
I don’t think she ever cared about me, did she?
Hearth tool a moment to mull over the situation as she followed Ghost down the winding road that led to the centre of town.
“I think she did, but I also think that she wasn’t willing to accept anything other than what she understood either,” She finally settled on. “From what little I know about love and romance, it’s practically everywhere, it’s seen as a universal experience that transcends many different boundaries…”
Ghost nodded in reluctant agreement.
“But…there’s more to life than finding a partner, at least I think so,” Hearth said. “Social species need more interpersonal connection than just familial or romantic, friendships are equally important. Even just having people to rely on and support one another is fundamental to the wellbeing of many different beings…”
Ghost listened, perking up as they showed an interest in what she was saying. They nodded enthusiastically and let out a bright chirp.
Yes! Exactly!
“I can’t say much else really,” Hearth said and moved her wings in a shrugging motion. “What little I do know was just information I absorbed passively over time. When you’re a part of a species that’s spawned from mortal fears, you end up just taking in stuff as you go.”
What sort of stuff? Ghost asked curiously as they looked back at her. They were nearing a major street lined with shell-like, round houses on either side, along with a few larger buildings with signage out the front that denoted them as shops or other public areas.
“How and why people experience alienation, in my case anyway,” she explained. “Things like being discriminated against because a person acts different or looks a bit strange, or has a deformity… Maybe they don’t like one gender or both or any, maybe they see themselves as a certain way that everyone else just doesn’t seem to experience… The list goes on and on.”
She continued to explain as they neared the domed, iron building that was the entrance to the stagway. “Nightmares can be a fear of something, a scary situation, confronting death, or loneliness… But they can also just be a strong sense of otherness, of being hunted even though you’ve done nothing wrong.”
Ghost stopped them just outside the entrance to the building and turned to look at them. They were burning with curiosity.
Speaking from experience?
“Would it matter?” she retorted. “Whether or not I personally experienced it, or was born from it, doesn’t change the fact that it still happens.”
True. Ghost replied. You’ll find it even here in Hallownest. The Kingdom of Knowledge isn’t immune to it either.
The air felt heavy with helplessness and weighed down by the discussion, Hearth walked towards the entrance.
“So, how about that tour?” she asked, trying to lighten the mood. “We were supposed to have fun today, right?”
Ghost chirped an affirmative and the duo walked inside. They found Hollow, having returned to their physical form, looking over a map pinned to the bulletin board just inside the door.
The taller bug turned to greet them a wave.
Are you well, sibling? Hollow asked and Ghost shrugged.
…I just want to forget about it, tell you later.
“Where are we headed first?” Hearth asked and stood beside Hollow. The map they were observing was a winding maze of tunnels that connected one area of the kingdom to another.
Hollow put a hand to the bottom of their mask as they thought about where to go.
Hallownest is vast. We would not be able to see everything the place has to offer within the span of a day.
Ghost chirruped to get their attention.
Can’t we take her to our favourite places? Just where we go to the most?
Hollow mulled it over for a few moments. Broadcasting their thought process to the other two absentmindedly.
We need only to cover the greater span of the kingdom and the lands affiliated with The Pale King… Given the sheer size even without traversing into Mantis or Moth Territory t’would be best to stick to the public areas.
Deepnest is out of the question, sister would have our shells if we disturbed her during her duties…
Perhaps… Hollow began. We start with The City, then The Archives, and end with the areas of The White Palace available to the public.
Ghost looked excited at the prospect of visiting the archives and Hearth was glad to see their mood improving after earlier.
We can have lunch at The Blue Lake. Ghost suggested. We can buy something on the way—
They paused and looked at Hearth, their head titled in curiosity.
Do you need to eat nightmare essence with every meal?
“No, just once a day,” she replied. Given how busy she had been with her training, she had taken to eating her meals in her room this past week. It meant she able to reflect on her progress and guage how far she still had to go before she competent with her magic. “A steady supply isn’t an issue with Master Grimm and Hollow around.”
Hollow nodded. A meal by the lakeside sounds like a good idea.
Hearth followed Hollow as they led the way deeper into the building, towards a simple, lever operated platform to a lower level. “Will you be alright donning your physical form?”
The taller bug nodded. It will be fine, It may dislike It’s physical shell, but It will put aside It’s discomfort for important events such as this.
“It’s just a tour.” Hearth said in amusement as the trio plied into the lift and Ghost struck the switch with their nail.
The elevator rumbled as it descended to another section of the building, the actual station platform judging from the tunnel and connected path Hearth could see ahead of her. The platform was empty, though a single bell attached to a metal poll was affixed to the ground.
Ghost rushed over and stood beneath the bell, nail at the ready.
We have never had to chance to be a guide in the same way our sister was to us. Hollow replied and gestured at themselves and their sibling. Though Ghost has their fare share of friends, their interests and hobbies lie scattered among those they hold dear.
Hollow humbly dipped their head.
And, It has very few people outside of the family that It can confidently call friend… They admitted. So, to the two of us, this is somewhat of a momentous occasion.
“Oh…” Hearth trailed off, touched by the sentiment. She knew Hollow kept to themselves and was not one for social interaction beyond their close-knit family. The ‘ling was overjoyed, a bubbly feeling that settled in her chest and brightened her day.
Ghost struck the bell with their nail, and the distant thundering of the approaching stag heralded the start of the tour.
Hearth grinned, she couldn’t wait to see the places her new friends frequented.
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I like Bretta. She's a good girl... but you're right, her feelings tend to make her obsessive and unhealthy. I do believe she does legit love and care for Ghost, but considering that she brought into Zote's bullshit... Bretta is a desperate girl.
11148503
I've spent a while trying to think of how to reply and really, Bretta in this fic is what you get when you take the fangirly, fanfic-typical romance and perverse it into something toxic. In another fic, her actions to win Ghost over might be portrayed as cute, or endearing.
This is not that fic, especially given that I struggle to write allo characters to begin with.
Thank you for commenting, I hope you like the series so far.
Hey. Dear author, I like this story and universe very much. Thank you. Will you continue it? It has been so long without updates, I'm worried.
11239389
I do plan on continuing, my attention and muse has just been elsewhere.
11239657
Yay! Can't wait for it!