The Heart Battle
Stygian strode, very purposefully, across the grassy field between their tents. His eyes were locked steadily on a spot in the distance; this was supposed to indicate strength of conviction. If he moved quickly, his target would still be busy speaking to Somnambula, and wouldn’t even notice him before it was too late. He lengthened his stride, and even though it was on his small frame, he moved with impressive speed.
Unfortunately, his speed was not impressive enough.
“Stygian!”
Stygian fought the urge to take off at a run, and instead did his best impression of a professional speed walker. Perhaps if he didn’t answer, he would forget about him?
“Stygian! Come and fight me!” Oh, no. Rockhoof had clearly sighted him, and taken off at a gallop towards him. Stygian could feel the very earth begin to shake beneath his hooves as the burly bearded stallion approached.
“No thank you!” Stygian called back to him, doing his best not to quail. “I have other plans today!”
“Just a quick tussle! A rapid wrestle? A - fast throw down!” Rockhoof laughed, and easily cantered up to Stygian, slowing to a walk alongside him. Where Rockhoof walked leisurely, Stygian still powered through his speedy stride, sweat beginning to bead on his forehead. Stygian did not manage to put any distance between them.
“Oh, very sorry, but today I have to help Twilight Sparkle alphabetize the library. Perhaps another time?” Stygian all but panted, trying to keep up his brutal pace.
Rockhoof’s face fell. “But you said that yesterday.”
“Yes, well, it’s a large library!” Stygian lied, and broke into a panicked gallop, finally exiting the grassy field. “See you later, Rockhoof!” Or maybe never, Stygian thought to himself.
***
“Every day he asks you to fight?”
“EVERY day!” Stygian panted where he had fallen just inside the doors of Twilight Sparkle’s crystal castle, laid out flat on its crystalline floors. Spike rolled his eyes, but dutifully supplied Stygian with ice packs and cool towels to wipe himself dry with. At the moment, Stygian simply laid in a puddle of his own sweat, panting. “I don’t know if I can do this anymore.”
“You might get in better shape.” Spike muttered, but a sharp glance from Twilight Sparkle sent the dragon skittering away for more ice.
“I just don’t get it. Does he still blame me? For - for the Shadow? For limbo?” Stygian’s brows furrowed, and he twisted away from Twilight Sparkle, so she couldn’t see the way his expression darkened. “I can’t say I blame him. But I can’t fight him, I - I’d get pounded without the Shadow’s help. It wouldn’t even be a fair fight. There can’t be much satisfaction in such an unfair fight.”
“You are correct; Rockhoof’s culture valued fairness in their battles, it was considered very dishonorable to fight an unarmed or disabled foe.” Twilight Sparkle opined, and rubbed her chin with one hoof. “I suppose you could be considered unarmed, when you consider Rockhoof’s extremely muscular form compared to your -”
She looked down to realize that Stygian was frowning at her.
“- also muscular form!” Twilight Sparkle lied, grinning tightly.
Stygian sighed, and laid his chin against the crystalline floor, staring at the wall. “He always seems so excited. Not mad. So even the theory about the Shadow doesn’t make sense. Unless he’s excited to pound me.” Stygian muttered, covering his eyes with his forelegs.
“Well, you can come hide here as often as you need, Stygian. You’re always welcome in my library.” Twilight Sparkle soothed him, and turned away with a chipper smile. “Besides, I really do need to spruce up the Old Ponish stacks, and many hooves make light work!”
“That sounds good, Twilight. Just … let me have another moment to get my breath back.” Stygian sighed, and all but melted into the floor.
How long will I have to keep doing this?!
***
Stygian returned to the grassy field much later that night - it was their home, for the time being, until they could find a more permanent solution. It wasn’t as if the Pillars could return to their homelands and families a thousand years later; all they had right now was each other, and so each one set up a brightly colored tent, a sort of temporary home, in an unused field on the outer edge of Ponyville. It was near a river and a spooky-looking forest, and had plenty of exciting areas to explore. Except for Rockhoof, apparently, who was single-minded in his pursuit of Stygian’s blood.
“Stygian!” A familiar voice, and Stygian tensed involuntarily.
“I can’t fight you tonight, Rockhoof, I’m tired.” Stygian did his best not to whine, even though he felt quite whiny. Twilight Sparkle might as well have beaten him up herself, that’s how brutal the library cleaning had been!
“I just wanted to let you know that I saved you some dinner.” Rockhoof offered, a little abashed, and it was Stygian’s turn to be embarrassed.
“I thought - thank you, Rockhoof.” Stygian murmured, his face warming. “I’m hungry.”
“Good thing! Tonight was Mistmane’s turn, and she made an amazing stew!” Rockhoof’s good mood returned easily, and he fell in step alongside Stygian, slowing his broad gait to a glacial pace so that Stygian didn’t have to trot to keep up. “Why are you so stiff?”
Stygian only stiffened further as it was pointed out, and winced as it pulled at a sore muscle. “Twilight had me sorting heavy Old Ponish books today, and it took forever.”
“I thought you were alphabetizing?”
Stygian froze. “I, uh, yes, but we ran out of - of letters. So we switched to the Old Ponish.”
Rockhoof nodded along, satisfied by Stygian’s clumsy lie. “Aye, books can be very heavy; I remember hefting Starswirl’s books for him. That sounds very difficult, for someone as small as you! You must be hurting very much.” Rockhoof eyed Stygian sidelong, concern in his gaze.
“At least I’m done now.” Stygian agreed with a little sigh, then gasped as Rockhoof abruptly rubbed his cheek down Stygian’s side, deftly nosing past his cloak. His beard tickled a lazy line over his coat, and Stygian couldn’t explain the powerful shiver that followed its trail. “H-Hey!”
“After we had a battle, my fellow shield warriors and I would rub each other's sore muscles. It helps the healing, and the pain.” Rockhoof explained lightly, and mirrored the rubbing action on the other side.
“Well you don’t - you don’t have to!” Stygian huffed, trotting the last few steps towards the fire, landing heavily as he took his seat. He tried to hide the wince, but the too-close way that Rockhoof watched him said that he’d failed at that task. “It’s not that bad, it’s just books.” Stygian huffed, but it was a weaker protest this time, and he took the bowl of soup that Rockhoof offered. “Thank you.” He wouldn’t admit it, but he wasn’t certain that he could have done that on his own just then; his limbs felt like jelly now that he was sitting.
Serious blue eyes stared at Stygian over his beard for a long moment, and Stygian finally sighed, unable to bear the heavy staring any longer. “If I let you rub my shoulders, will that make you stop staring?” Stygian finally mumbled, his voice low. How embarrassing! Luckily everyone else had long since gone to bed, and he didn’t have to worry about anyone watching the too-weak bonus Pillar getting a rubdown by the burly Pillar of Strength.
Rockhoof’s expression immediately brightened. “Deal. If you don’t like it, I will stop. But I think you will like it.”
“I don’t think I will - uh huh - oh - ohhhh ho. How are you - okay.” Stygian began to stiffly protest, then rapidly lost all ability to speak, his eyes rolling up a little as his eyelids fluttered. Rockhoof, who was strong enough to split the thickest oak tree in half, kneaded Stygian’s shoulders as gently as if he was made of delicate pastry dough. Stygian gasped as Rockhoof found a sore spot, and only barely managed to restrain his moan as Rockhoof gently worked the pain out of it with his hooves.
“Don’t drop your soup,” Rockhoof reached out to guide the bowl away from Stygian’s limp hooves, setting it aside. “Do you want me to stop now?”
“Never.” Stygian spoke before he could stop himself, and Rockhoof laughed softly as Stygian’s cheeks burned.
“I told you, it is nice.” Rockhoof smiled, and shifted a little so he could start working up Stygian’s neck. “Fighting and being strong is important, but you cannot fight effectively if you neglect to take care of your body. And your mind.”
“Uh-huh.” Stygian agreed vacantly, from where he was almost-dozing on a cloud of bliss.
Rockhoof laughed a little louder and gave Stygian’s back an affectionate pat. “You just relax. You are safe in my hooves, friend.”
Then why do you keep trying to fight me?, Stygian wanted to ask, but he couldn’t, as most of his higher motor skills had shut down. Stygian must have fallen asleep at some point, because he was aware of being poured into his bedroll, and the gentle way that Rockhoof tucked the blanket around him. He felt Rockhoof’s massive hoof brush his mane away from his face, but he wasn’t sure if that was real or a dream, and then he was lost to the blissful darkness of sleep.
***
The next day, Stygian slept late; but when he awoke, he was aware that he didn’t awake with the pain he had feared, only a mild sort of lingering stiffness. It was almost as if Rockhoof’s massage had worked! Well, he supposed, Rockhoof would be the Pillar most educated in matters of the body, and just thinking about that made his cheeks warm, and he hastily clambered out of bed to distract himself with washing his face.
Rockhoof had left him his bowl of soup from the previous night just inside his tent, and he slurped that down rapidly, his mind elsewhere. Rockhoof was right, it was good, but thinking about the soup made him think about the way that Rockhoof had waited for him last night, and the way he’d fretted over him, and the way his beard tickled as it ran down his flank, and the way his hooves felt on his back -
“Stygian! You’re in a big hurry today, aren’t you?” Somnambula’s grin was warm and perhaps a little knowing as Stygian all but zoomed past her tent.
“I promised Twilight Sparkle I’d help her finish the Old Ponish stacks today,” Stygian replied, and for the first time in several weeks it wasn’t a lie.
“Stygian!”
Stygian turned to look, and offered Rockhoof a warm wave. “Hey, Rockhoof!”
“Come fight me!”
Stygian’s jaunty gait faltered, and he slowed as Rockhoof cantered up to him in the center of the field. “Fight?”
“Yeah! Come on, you feel much better today, right?” Rockhoof grinned, his braided tail flicking in excitement as he came to a halt beside him. “I told you it would feel good,” and it was a symptom of Stygian’s inner turmoil that he couldn’t appreciate Rockhoof’s chesty little chuckle.
“But … but I thought we were friends.” Stygian started slowly, his brows furrowing.
“Well … we are friends.” Rockhoof replied, and his good mood was faltering too, staring down at the much-shorter Stygian in confusion. “But a fight can be nice too, right? Maybe even nicer.”
Stygian wasn’t aware that his bottom lip was trembling until too late, and when Rockhoof noticed, Stygian found himself shouting instead of speaking, preventing the burly stallion from saying anything. “I don’t want to fight you! You ask me every day, and - and I’m tired of it! If you blame me for the Shadow, then that’s fine!”
“I don’t blame you -” Rockhoof tried to interject, eyes widening, but Stygian kept yelling over him.
“But I said I was sorry, and if - and if that isn’t good enough for you, and you don’t want to be friends, that’s okay!” Stygian burst out as the first tears began to fall. “But I want to be your friend, more than anything! So if we aren’t friends, just say so!”
“I want to be your friend, Stygian.” Rockhoof said at last, but the way he said it made Stygian’s heart hurt more, not less. It was like he was speaking as the much-smaller Rockhoof he had once been, instead of the massive stallion who was in front of him right now, curling in on himself.
“Good! Then friends it is!” Stygian sobbed, and took off at a gallop, tears streaming down his face as he vanished into the Everfree Forest.
***
“Stygian?”
Stygian made a choked-off sound, and hid his face in his folded forelegs all the more tightly.
When Twilight Sparkle finally found him, it was in a small clearing near the edge of the Everfree Forest, draped miserably over a boulder, hiding his face as he wept. He wasn’t crying so hard anymore; it had been a little while since he came to a stumbling halt, and he feared that he had run out of tears at last.
“Stygian, there you are!” she called and trotted to his side, lifting the hood of his cloak enough so that she could see his face. “When you didn't show up at the library - well, I was afraid that something happened to you!”
“Don’t worry; I told Rockhoof I don’t want to fight him, an - and he said we can still b- be friends.” Stygian explained, and sobbed anew.
“But … but isn’t that a - good thing?” Twilight Sparkle frowned, thoroughly confused.
“I thought so! But why did it make him sad?” Stygian wailed, and rubbed his nose with his foreleg. “And why did it make me sad when he was sad?”
“Well, because he’s your friend, of course.” Twilight Sparkle said simply, frowning. Suddenly, Twilight gasped. “I almost forgot! I was waiting for you to arrive at the library to show you - late last night I was doing some research on your problem, and I found this.”
Stygian dabbed at his eyes with the edge of his cloak as Twilight slid a book in front of his nose, entitled Ancient Ponish Cultures. As he dried his face, Twilight opened the book to a marked page, and tapped her hoof beside a sticky tab.
“It says here that in ancient times, warrior cultures - like Rockhoof’s - often had very complex courtship rituals, which often tied in with their roles as protectors of their lands. The Mighty Helm, especially, was known for its elaborate courtships, and one of the rituals that was passed down in the oral tradition was known as the Heart Battle. In this courtship ritual, one warrior would challenge another to a battle, and in the course of the fight, they would reveal their true feelings for one another.” Twilight Sparkle spread her hooves dramatically for emphasis, brows lifted.
Stygian frowned at the book, and tried to make the pieces fit. Oh no. “So you’re saying that - that Rockhoof - he - he didn’t want to fight me? Or - or he did, but - and I told him I wanted to be his friend!” Stygian sprung to his hooves, dragging his foreleg sharply over his eyes to clear them. “I have to fix this!” And off he went, his cloak flapping behind him as he ran.
“... but how are you going to do that?” Twilight puzzled to herself as the grey unicorn sprinted off.
***
“Where’s Rockhoof?”
Somnambula and Mage Meadowbrook exchanged a confused glance. “I think he went down to the river?” Somnambula suggested, stirring her drink as they sat by the dying embers of their breakfast fire.
“He looked quite distraught. Uncharacteristically.” Meadowbrook added, and lifted her brows as Stygian took off at a gallop. “Anything we ought to be concerned about?” she called after him, but Stygian was already gone. “Well I hope not. I’d like to take a break from saving the world for at least another week.” she muttered to herself, prompting a laugh from Somnambula.
Stygian almost flew down the winding trail to the river, his heart pounding out of his chest. If Rockhoof threw himself into the river out of grief, he’d sink as fast as his namesake. What if he was too late? What if Rockhoof was lost in the river? But Rockhoof wouldn’t do that, Stygian tried to calm himself; Rockhoof wasn’t that easily controlled by his emotions! Rockhoof was steady, he was the Pillar of Strength, not the Pillar of Flighty Emotions. Rockhoof wouldn’t -
“ROCKHOOF!” Stygian howled as he rounded a corner just in time to catch sight of something massive splashing into the river, vanishing into a watery grave. “HOLD ON!” And before he could consider the risk, Stygian galloped towards the bank overlooking the river, and catapulted himself into the air.
“Stygian?” Rockhoof called from where he was standing on the side of the river, watching as Stygian soared overhead.
Stygian’s confused gaze didn’t even have time to register horror before he crashed into the water.
The river was deep, and faster-moving than he’d expected; he could feel it tugging at him as soon as he dove in, and when he came back up for air, he had already been dragged several feet away from Rockhoof on the bank. Instantly, his cloak became a sodden weight, choking him and dragging him below the surface. Stygian paddled desperately against its weight and the current, and rapidly began losing the battle against both. His head dipped beneath the waves, and he lost sight of Rockhoof, flailing desperately for his own survival. He tried to kick his way back to the bank, but each time he came up for air, it seemed further and further away, and it got harder and harder to break the surface.
Suddenly, something was pushing him upward, and as he gasped for breath, something massive got beneath him, lifting him entirely out of the water.
“Stygian!” Rockhoof was shouting his name, and as Stygian coughed up river water, he could dimly register that Rockhoof’s accent had deepened. “What were yeh thinkin’, ye daft - yeh coulda drowned!”
Given how close the yelling was, Stygian noted dully, he must be on Rockhoof’s back.
Stygian rode limply as Rockhoof swam him back to the bank, and it was only when Rockhoof undid the clasp on his sodden cloak that the tears began slipping down Stygian’s cheeks. “I thought - I was afraid you were going to drown yourself.” Stygian gasped, and some part of himself wished that he hadn’t swallowed so much river water, because the whole almost-drowning thing was making the tears a lot harder to hold back.
Rockhoof stilled, and Stygian wondered if he was going to yell again. Instead he shook out his mane, then helped Stygian slide off of his back, nestling the shivering unicorn against his broad side. Despite the cold river water that cut through Stygian like a knife, Rockhoof’s warmth remained unquenched, and Stygian couldn’t help but huddle next to him as the warrior knelt beside the riverbank.
“I was only helping the little beavers with their dam,” Rockhoof explained quietly, nodding towards the spot further upstream near where Stygian had jumped in. “With my shovel.”
The loud splash; it must have been mud and rocks that Rockhoof was shoveling into a dam for the beavers. Stygian colored, but this time with humiliation, and he dropped his head so that he wouldn’t have to meet Rockhoof’s concerned gaze. “Of course.” Stygian muttered, for what else could he do? Rockhoof must think he was the most foolish, most ignorant, most foolhardy, most unwise -
“I think that might be the greatest thing anypony’s ever done for me.”
Stygian’s head shot up. “What?”
“You jumped in to save me, didn’t you?” Rockhoof’s voice was still soft, mindful of the small ears that even then twitched and quivered as he spoke. “Without any magic or legendary strength; no plan, just jumping in to save someone who needed you.” Rockhoof considered Stygian carefully, and Stygian found himself uncomfortable under his searching gaze, afraid he might be found lacking. “Thank you, Stygian.”
“But - I was wrong. I would have drowned alongside you. I was foolish, I didn’t consider -” Stygian began, berating himself, but Rockhoof interrupted him.
“You think with your heart, instead of your head.” Rockhoof spoke gently, and lowered his head, touching his warm nose to Stygian’s damp chest. “But that is the heart of a warrior that beats inside of you. It is something that took me some time to see; that was my failing, not yours. Your heart beats as bravely as any member of the Mighty Helm, and you need only learn how to guide it properly.” Rockhoof’s gaze gentled, and he leaned close again to whuff a soft breath over Stygian’s wet forelock. “I had to learn that lesson as well. I have suffered grave heartache for not reining in my heart; I know you have, too.”
Stygian recalled the heartsick bitterness that had summoned the Shadow to him, and his stomach gave a lurch - and not just because it was full of river water.
Rockhoof seemed to sense his distress, and brushed his cheek against Stygian’s, his damp beard still tickly where it touched Stygian’s coat. “That is why I asked you to fight me; I have, ah,” and here Rockhoof grew a little shy, and his coat twitched as his tail gave a wet little slap against the riverbank, “grown quite fond of you, Stygian. I thought you might consider becoming, in the modern parlance, my … coltfriend.”
Stygian blinked up at Rockhoof, and despite himself, he managed a wet little laugh. “I thought you were trying to kill me.”
“Kill -! No, never!” Rockhoof was aghast, and his ears flattened out in dismay. “I - I asked you to fight in … the Heart Battle.” Rockhoof was embarrassed now, having to explain it outright, and Stygian was surprised to see a blush escaping from beneath his beard. “Where I come from, many ponies our age partake in such fights, it’s never -”
“Our age.” Stygian stared up at Rockhoof for a moment - burly, the largest stallion that Stygian had ever seen in the past or present, able to crack mountains and dig trenches as deep as the ocean - and realized that he’d made a mistake. “Sometimes I forget you are only my age, Rockhoof; you appear so much … larger.”
Rockhoof’s brows lifted, then settled out as he gave a begrudging nod. “Most stallions my size are already settled with little’uns of their own, aye? I suppose I forget myself sometimes; I remember being the little one they made fun of. I didn’t think you were that much smaller than me. But I guess you are.” Rockhoof allowed, and curled around Stygian a little more protectively. “I suppose it makes sense you’d be afraid of me.”
“Not you!” Stygian protested, and it was his turn to color as Rockhoof looked at him more closely for an explanation. “You are my friend, Rockhoof; I could never be afraid of you, and only then … only if you were not on my side.” Stygian halted when the emotion got difficult, then found a way to reword it so that it didn’t sting so much. Rockhoof nodded, understanding. The Shadow still loomed too close in their memory for them to talk about it directly without pain. “When you asked me to fight, I did not know of the Heart Battle. We did not have such a thing in my village.”
Rockhoof’s brows lifted, and he laughed, shaking his head in disbelief. “So you truly believed I wanted to face you in combat. For weeks! No wonder you avoided me so fervently.” Rockhoof’s expression grew a little sad. “I am persistent, but I admit that I was losing hope that you could return my feelings.”
“I didn’t mean to hurt you, Rockhoof.” Stygian murmured, and he hesitated for a moment before he returned one of Rockhoof’s more familiar motions, rubbing his face against his broad neck. Rockhoof’s coat was warm to the touch, already beginning to dry, and Stygian found himself luxuriating in the touch. “I will join the Heart Battle with you. And I - I would like to be your coltfriend, too.”
Rockhoof stared down at Stygian, then arched his neck, so that he could return the light strokes against Stygian’s neck in kind. “I think this is much better than any Heart Battle.” Rockhoof whispered back to him.
***
“Stygian!”
Stygian twisted towards the sound as he galloped across the field, and slipped out of his cloak with a familiar ease. “Rockhoof! Fight me!” Stygian roared as fiercely as he could, and with a laugh, he sprinted towards his massive coltfriend, tackling him squarely in the midsection.
“Oof!” Rockhoof groaned, and fell backwards as if he’d been tackled by a pony triple his size. He rolled onto his back, kicking his legs, and wrapped his forelegs around his coltfriend tightly. “You’ve fallen right into my trap!”
“Not the trap!” Stygian laughed, and playfully squirmed in Rockhoof’s grip. “What kind of trap is this?”
“The - Butt Bite Trap!” Rockhoof laughed, and reached down to demonstrate.
“Rockho- ROCKHOOF!” Stygian yelped, his face aflame as he scampered away from the larger stallion. “That’s - you - !!”
“If it wasn’t so round, it wouldn’t look so pleasant to bite.” Rockhoof grinned as he got to his hooves, slowly circling Stygian. “So it’s really not my fault that I can’t resist it.”
“It definitely is!” Stygian huffed through his laughter, now carefully keeping his face in front of Rockhoof’s. “It’s definitely still your fault!”
“Well, agree to disagree.” Rockhoof teased, and laughed as Stygian leapt up to bite at one of his ears, tugging lightly. “See, biting is fair game!”
“Lads,” Mage Meadowbrook called from the far side of the field, “are you comin’ to dinner or do I have to call Starswirl to separate you again?”
Stygian and Rockhoof jumped apart as if they were on fire.
“Coming!” Rockhoof called, then bent down to pick up Stygian’s cloak. “How was Twilight’s today?”
“It’s going well - she thinks I should write about my life. She seems to think that a lot of ponies would enjoy reading it. She says I have good prose.”
“You should! I would buy the first copy.” Rockhoof agreed proudly, and leaned close to press a kiss to the top of his head, right between his ears. “You’d be a fantastic writer.”
Stygian blushed, but the smile he turned up towards Rockhoof was pleased. “You think so?”
“I know so. My coltfriend’s the smartest in all the realms.” Rockhoof beamed back at him, and gave him the gentlest of bumps with his shoulder. It was a testament to his size and gentleness that Stygian only had to skip one step.
“Thank you, Rockhoof. Now, can I have my cloak?”
“What cloak?”
“The cloak you put on your back.”
“Oh, you mean my cloak?”
“Rockhoof!”
“Tell you what; I’ll sell you my cloak, for one hundred kisses.”
“How about for one hundred butt bites?!” Stygian laughed. “And I’ll use all my teeth!”
Rockhoof’s voice was playfully sultry when he answered. “Now, dinnae threaten me with a good time, laddie.”
“ROCKHOOF!”
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Why does Stygian think his friend is the type to not take no for an answer?
10928297
Great question! I think it's one of those classic friendship problems; your friend asks you for a favor, but you feel guilty turning them down, because you don't want to hurt your friend's feelings. So Stygian keeps giving Rockhoof the 'soft no' ("I'm busy today" for example) and Rockhoof is too blunt to realize he's being turned down! Add that in with the fact that I imagine Stygian is very cautious with his friendships post-Shadow (so he doesn't risk losing them again), and you have a perfect storm of miscommunication!
Thanks for the submission! We look forward to reading this piece and wish you best of luck in judging!
10928481
Thank you very much!
Is it bad that I want to see another chapter for this??
10928945
Definitely not!
Creative situation you came up with. Nice work!
Man, this was a really great one! I think that the dynamic between Stygian and Rockhoof was extremly cute and I loved how eager Rockhoof was to "fight" Stygian. I think that the first half of this flowed really well but i think towards the second half starts to move a little too fast and kind of rushes along the shipping part, which sucks because I really want to see these two doofuses be cute and gay. Still, this was a really enjoyable piece and I loved your characterizations. Thank you for participating!
10929631
Thank you very much! I am glad you enjoyed!
10958951
Thank you very much for the feedback! I appreciate you taking the time to leave me such a thoughtful comment!
And thank you for running the contest!
ah, the perfect excuse that is always applicable
haha, i can see where this is going!
phrasing! and good foreshadowing
ah the perfect bit of ambiguity, this is great
ah, i can just imagine the confusing stew of emotions Stygian is in right now
this is a really fantastic bit of cultural worldbuilding that is very fitting for Rockhoof's character! and all in all it feels very much in line with the canon, which is hard to get right. really loved this!
a nice bit of irony there, given Rockhoof in the canon episode we got focusing on him
ah, this is fantastic! great mirror of Stygian's arc in this story being learning about Rockhoof, too
and another great use of Rockhoof's past here, as well as a bit of worldbuilding about stallions continuing to grow in adulthood, if i'm not mistaken. it's easy to forget that his non-magically-enhanced form is the same "scrawny stallion" model they use for Stygian, really says a lot about pony Society
and of course this whole last section was very adorable fluff! this bit of them playing around with the idea of the Heart Battle especially.
amazing work! honestly jealous that this was submitted for Pillars Shipping instead of my M/M contest, but i guess that is how the arrow of time works. really great job here, it was a joy to read
This one is REALLY good. It's no wonder that Bike mentioned to read this one first.
Especially the scene in the middle where Rockhoof gives Stygian a well-needed massage. I could practically feel the tension dissipate as if I was Stygian myself. Then, the endearing scene where Stygian dozes off and Rockhoof carries him to his tent and makes sure he is comfortable for the recovery, the whole scene is
filled to the brimoverflowing with the warm and fuzzies!I have to agree with Red on the part though that the ending seems a bit rushed. I want to see more of, as Red put it, “these two doofuses”. There is plenty of room too, as they come two different cultures! Plus, I take that both of them are not the types to rush things (Rockhoof grew up/experienced change quickly, while Stygian fell into Shadow, which he is naturally cautious about his actions). Take it as you wish, there is a whole lot of avenues you can explore with these two!
11070546
11070657
Thank you both very much for the kind reviews!
For some reason, gay romances featuring one of the pillars that also has mentions of old Equestrian traditions makes for really good stories.
Anyways, this was a lovably hilarious story, and you absolutely nailed the characters. I can really hear their accents in the writing, which is a testament to how well done they are. Also all the pillars living together is a great concept.
Rockhoof giving Stygian a massage is fun, because it shows that Rockhoof actually took the time to learn how to properly be a masseuse. I also really like how casually the two just get up from the "fight".
Really cute and fun story, and I'm always glad to see more of Stygian because he's so underrated.
What a great romance!! Honestly, it's super hard to sell a romance in so few words - but you totally did! So props for that!!
I absolutely adore stories that explore these unseen aspects of pony culture. I also adore gay romance. So you really hit the nail on the head with this one. Stygian and Rockhoof were in such great voice - the perfect blend of old-fashioned and modern vocabulary. Their chemistry is great, the plot is adorable, and the little lesson at the end (that warriors come in all shapes and sizes, and that Stygian's strength is clear and beautiful to Rockhoof despite what others see) is icing on the cake. Really wonderful little romance - I'm definitely starting to get hooked on your style!
I love this contrast between them. So adorable.
Aw.
Nice save, Twilight
And, aw. That was really sweet. I like the progression of their friendship, and the clash between their, you know, ideas. I really enjoyed the way you wrote their banter here!
Love it