• Member Since 17th May, 2013
  • offline last seen 7 hours ago

Summer Knight

I like to write about ponies going on adventures. And crying. And kissing. Sometimes all at once.

Comments ( 57 )

"It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion. It is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed, the hands acquire shakes, the shakes become a warning. It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion."- The Programmer's Mantra

This was very funny. Short and sweet, bravo. :twilightsmile:

That final sentence read like a sitcom punchline. Well done, truly a funny story! :rainbowlaugh:

Okay, fine! Take your thumb's-up for coffee. And for Starlight's over-the-top solution. And that last line. But that's the only one I'll give you until I've finished my coffee—which I wasn't thinking of until I read this story. :facehoof:

Oh, Glimglam, you done goofed, again.

Then again, she didn't have her coffee, so...

And to rub it in

:moustache: Your morning coffee your highness

:twilightsmile: I've finished your treasury report your highness

:derpytongue2: All hail Queen Rarity

:trollestia: and as usual I did nothing

:trixieshiftright: Trixie is not amused

And this is why I don't do coffee.

In Darkest Day
In Brightest Night
No Coffee ​shall escape her sight
Let those who worship tea
beware of her
Equality Lantern!

“Blech. No thanks. You can keep your leaf soup.”

That's exactly what I see tea as! :rainbowlaugh:

I see.

*insert Starlight "I see" gif*

The same joke could be used a thousands times over just presented I different. I personally will always find the absurd, insane and outrageously exaggerated funny.

This definitely fits that description. Great story.

This... this is the best thing of my entire day.

"Ok but why" is the question I ask myself every time I'm about to write something. Congrats on ignoring the inner you who asked the question to bring pure c o m e d y

That's a very good argument, that will hold up in court.

Let me correct you, coffee isn't beans, but coffea fruit seeds, therefore coffee is a fruit tea.

I've been there, but didn't have the option to plunge a nation into perpetual civil war.

I would have had to think about it for a bit though.

In-universe, the Oath is just a glorified timer so that you don't overcharge or undercharge your ring. And that makes it even more important than usual to keep to the meter.

Good to know, I thought it was mainly to activate the power just like 'He-Man'

Professor Ozpin of Beacon Academy sends his greatest condolences, and a thermos of his special coffee, hot and fresh from Coffee Chan...don't ask.

Jaune: You can't take advantage of a magical girl for coffee. Do you have any idea how irresponsible, how immoral, this is? It's just plain wrong!
Ozpin: Another?
Jaune: Please.

This reminds me of a little drawing series I did in the early days of the fandom: The Great Coffee Famine.

About 2 dozen little redraws of characters with monologue of them lamenting the loss of the life-sustaining black ooze. :rainbowlaugh:

Truly the darkest timeline. :raritydespair:

Ha, imagine being dependent on hot bean juice to function properly.

This is priceless! Starlight going all dramatic with this and the reactions from everyone else is absolutely golden! Actually, it's Platinum! ;D All in all, this is a fun friggin' read! Hope ya didn't mind, but I couldn't resist making a reading of this caffeinated fic of yours!

Audio Linkyloo!: https://youtu.be/kw65ZA3Tp-Y

(I don't mean to offend anyone with this comment in any way!)

She knew full well that tea was too weak for Starlight’s caffeine-hardened constitution, and she knew equally well that no spell could create coffee beans out of nothing.

At least, nothing worthy of her sophisticated palate.

I could never get into that bean soup. Tried about six different kinds on one stretch within the span of three days when I was in college— nada. I just drink water. The true lifeblood of the human body.

That was hilarious. The best part is knowing that this wouldn't be out of character for season 6 Starlight. She totally would break reality and cause a rift in the timeline if it means just one cup of coffee.

I'm not offended at all! That might be the best compliment that one of my fics has ever gotten :twilightsmile:

I like this story a LOT more than I like coffee… :fluttershyouch:

10927743 Coffee is alien goo that takes over your mindbrains. :pinkiecrazy::rainbowhuh:

Well, that's a pretty solid defense.

Two things to note. Coffee. And Coffee with Princess Rarity. I see no issues with either.

Gone back a week, instead of a thousand years, and warned yourself to save some for later?!

That also wouldn't work. Blinovitch limitation effect.

Should I send this to my sibling who is obsessed with coffee?

Yes! They must be made aware of the dangers of not moderating one’s coffee intake! :pinkiecrazy:

I hadn’t had my coffee yet


Coffee is the lifeblood of productivity.
Leaf water is vile.
Starlight, though short sighted, did a little bit wrong.

10928917 also, Twilight did that herself. It didn't end well.

If I may shove in my four penneth, those two Twilights were strictly rendered two separate individuals by time. Not only that, they did not come into physical contact with one another, meaning there was no shorting out of the time differential.

Starlight clutched the empty bag of coffee grounds—the only thing in the castle that still loved her. How could Trixie be so callous during such a difficult time? She knew full well that tea was too weak for Starlight’s caffeine-hardened constitution, and she knew equally well that no spell could create coffee beans out of nothing.

Alondro takes an entire cake of pu-erh tea and dunks it into a thin pan of boiling water, which is just barely enough to cover it. It boils for a solid minute, rendering the water an inky blackish-brown. He pours out the opaque fluid into a cup. "Here you, Starlight! Try not to... die!"

Pu-erh tea is basically one stage above compost. :twilightoops:

10935604 Alondro slooowwwwwly sips his $5,700/lb Ti-quan-yin oolong tea, while igniting a $100 bill to light his little sticks of incense which cost their weight in gold. "You not do wisely, make grave insult to God of Tea. I put curse upon you! You get visit from dragon with indigestion! Make house smell worse than New Jersey! Eee-hee-hee!"

Alondro made mad money from investing in underpants all those years ago... "Phase 1 was to collect underpants! Now I've reached Phase 3: PROFIT!"


The scariest (and funniest) part about this is that I'm pretty sure it's all 100% in character for Starlight. :twilightoops:

Equestria simultaneously burned in the fires of civil war and shivered under the wrath of the windigos.

That sounds metal as fuck!

“I know that you know,” Starlight gritted out, “but… coffee!”

Flawless argument 🤣

“To plant them near what would become Ponyville, so that Equestria’s largest coffee farm would be right next to my home in my own time,” Starlight finished for her.

I could stop right here and be satisfied.
Sweet Celestia... Fave. Damn it

“And while there, you stole the kingdom’s first coffee beans—which the earth ponies had intended to present as a gift to Celestia and Luna—”

Ps. I bet mostly Luna ;))
But she will need decaf sooner than later.

Showed it a friend and talked about it: we need a sequel in which she steals of herself and gets all pissy with future/past self XD

This is perfection/peak comedy

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