Bangtan Colts: A History No a Saga

by Creativa-Artly01

Chapter 2

It’s a new, more sunny day when RM, JHope, and V go and visit Jin in the hospital. Once there, they are led to his room by the nurse before entering on their own with a knock. “How are you doing?” Inquire the boys. “We’re all worried about you.”

“I could honestly be better,” groans Jin in absolute and total complete pain. “But thanks for asking.” He winces in pain once more as he struggles to sit up. “I’m just ready to heal up and get out of here at this point.”

“Well, you need to heal first, you know that,” responds RM sternly. “Health comes first. Music comes second. You can’t perform if you don’t heal.” They stay with him for a bit and they continue to talk.

“You unpacked anything else from that book and those notes? We found another three notes outside your room just this morning alone,” says V bluntly. He uses his magic to hand Jin the notes. “We figured we might try to help you decipher them since we’re here anyways.” Jin takes the notes with his magic and reads the notes.

“They say Together You Can Face the Bullets. Be BULLETPROOF,” responds Jin. “So I’m guessing it means we’re stronger as brothers, as Bangtan. It’s honestly one of the more straightforward clues we’ve been given.” He then eyes the paper a little closer and sees something faded. He soon uses his magic to heat the papers up a bit and with that, he uncovers a secret message. “There’s something else here too, I wonder if it’s on the other notes. It reads: the answers you seek are in the old storage room.”

“What’s the old storage room, I wonder?” Says Jin. He looks up at his bandmates. “Do you guys know?”

“It’s gotta be at our old high school surely,” responds V. “Where else would it be? We’ll go check it out. You just stay here and rest.” Jin nods and hands the notes back to V with his magic and V intercepts them with his own magic in return. V, RM, and JHope then head to the school where they soon find an abandoned room with music supplies strewn across the floor. Busted guitars, old unwired speakers, stacks upon stacks of papers and old cds.

“Well this must be it,” says V as he lights up the area with his magic. RM and JHope follow suit. They begin to look around. They soon spot something in the darkness, an old Polaroid photograph which RM picks up with his magic. He flips it over.

“It’s a picture of two ponies, but who are they?” Says RM. He shows his bandmates.

“One looks like it’s Jin’s father but younger,” responds V, “as for the other one, maybe the one we got the name for earlier on, the one who was murdered.”

“Well, let’s take it back to Jin and have him confirm so we know for certain,” responds RM. The other two nod in agreement. They look around for a bit longer before returning to Jin’s room at the hospital. They tell Jin that they found the room and show him the picture.

“It, it’s a picture of dad,” says Jin dumbfounded.

“Yes, but who is the second pony?” Inquires RM. “We figured you might know.”

“I have some idea,” responds Jin. He hands them the paper with the name on it with his magic. Together they read the name. It’s the name of the murdered colt. A few hours later, they confirm as much when Jin’s father comes to visit him in the hospital.

“Yeah,” says Jin’s dad as he sees the photograph, “that picture is the last picture my friend and I took before he was cruelly murdered in front of me and our other friends. See that shadow in the background. That’s the supposed murderer.” Jin’s father points to the shadow. “Where did you boys find this?”

“The old storage room,” responds V. “What did that room used to be? It looked to be an old music studio or music room?”

“Because that’s precisely what it was,” responds Jin’s father, “my friends and I used to want to be idol trainees and we used that room to practice and write our music before that school was condemned. We haven’t visited it since our trainee days. Now, it belongs to you boys. There’s more information there than you’ll ever know. It’ll help you on your journey.” With that, Jin’s father wishes his son and his friends well and leaves the room to return to his work.

“What else could be in that room, I wonder?” Responds Jin.

“Well, there were boxes upon boxes of notes of paper and old cds, maybe there’s stuff on those,” responds V, “that would be my guess.”

“Yeah, same,” agree RM and JHope. “We’ll go back and explore in a bit. You stay here and rest, get better.” Jin nods.

“Like I have a choice,” Jin grumbles, “let me know what you find.”

“We will, just like we always do,” agree the others. They head back to the old music room to do some more investigation. While there, they indeed find more information on the cds and in the files. They end up taking it all back to Jin so he can read it for himself and help them out as well. By the end of the afternoon, they’ve put a good many more pieces together. This is soon relayed to the rest sans Jungkook. The poor kid is starting to feel as if he’s out of the loop and is getting suspicious every time his hyungs head out to the hospital to check on Jin, but he’s not ready to confront his brothers. Not yet.

Comments

[PPEF1]

Pretty good so far. My critics are some capitalization errors and also the dialogue. There doesn't have to be a verb after every piece of dialogue. This is something that happened in my first fic.

Here's what you wrote:
“How are you doing?” Inquire the boys. “We’re all worried about you.”

“I could honestly be better,” groans Jin in absolute and total complete pain. “But thanks for asking.”

Now here's how I rewrote it:
“How are you doing?" asked the boys. “We’re all worried about you.”

Jin groans in absolute and total complete pain. “I could honestly be better but thanks for asking.”

And another thing I noticed is that sometimes this would happen in the dialogue:
“Yeah,” says Jin’s dad as he sees the photograph, “that picture is the last picture my friend and I took before he was cruelly murdered in front of me and our other friends. See that shadow in the background. That’s the supposed murderer.”

There should be a period after the word photograph and 'that' should be capitalized. Here is how I rewrote it:
“Yeah," Jin’s dad says as he looks at the photograph. “That picture is the last picture my friend and I took before he was cruelly murdered in front of me and our other friends. See that shadow in the background. That’s the supposed murderer.”