• Member Since 6th Sep, 2012
  • offline last seen Oct 17th, 2012


i am a crazy pony. pinkie pie's cupcakes are yummy!


When Kyubey asks Twilight Sparkle to make a contract with him, Twilight gets the surprise of her life! After watching her friend die and dealing with a near death experience herself, Twilight Sparkle must face the challenges and ordeals of being a Puella Magi. How will she be able to cope with the changes in her life? Will she be able to cope at all? (This is one of my first fanfics, so constructive criticisim is needed)

Chapters (4)
Comments ( 23 )

1240358 Ok thanks. I'll fix up my spacing to make things easier to read! LOL that gif looks like Kyubey is humping the ground :rainbowlaugh:

1240377>>1240376 Zel is right... with more description, spacing, detail and whatnot, this can easily be made 10k words, knowing how distorted and messed up the area is, a little survival in the witch's domain and etc. could actually for the least make 5k. Also when a character is speaking, and there is a comma, the word after isn't capitalized, saw a few errors like that.

But, so far so good!

1240390 Thanks for the constructive criticisim. I was too lazy to make it bigger, but I will try to get this into 5k words at least.

I'm in the process of writing part two. I will give you this one spoiler. Dash is suffering, too.

wtf is puel magica thingamajing?

I don't care how bad or good this is. It's a Madoka crossover—I have to read it.

1249903 There will be more! I'm just trying to write some of my other fics and shit. watch this space

Fuck you to the deepest pit of Tartarus.
Now the theme is stuck in my head AGAIN. Thanks a lot...

1346590 Who am I kidding, I don't mind at all actually!

YAY! I won't write spoilers, but I'm pretty sure everybody knows what will happen to Twilight now.

Well that battle was anti-climatic. And a fucking machine gun? Holy shit... (RUN COWARDS!)

...well derp. No offense but you need to lengthen it a lot because of how fast everything goes. Plus it's pretty anti-climatic, no REALLY anti-climatic.

They are dead already? Well that was quick. And the stories is just flying bye. Slow down so we can enjoy it. Like a good meal, savor the taste, but still give us enough so we aren't still hunger after the meal. Make sure we remember the taste so we come back tomorrow to have another meal.

So... Twilight's wish was to live, after seeing Pinkie die. I think I know what's coming for Miss Sparkle, and how. :twilightoops:

Everyone seems a bit out of character. I mean, Rainbow Dash, Element of Loyalty, as a Kyoko expy?
Also, there wasn't any foreshadowing to Twilight having a crush on Octavia, when there probably should have been. Just some advice.

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