Maud Pie spends a day at the beach with her two marefriends, Starlight Glimmer and Trixie Lulamoon. Trixie comes up with the idea to bury Maud in the sand. While Maud takes the time to savor it, she just hopes that they would help her out. But, what she's less sure of, is that her wish would come true before the tide rolls in.
Entry for the StarTrixMaud Shipping Contest made by Majin Syeekoh.
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You'd think that an earth pony that can pound a boulder into sand AND can cause a boulder to detonate could easily escape from a shallow sand pit.
thanks so much for the entry! this one looks really fun and i'm looking forward to reading it. i've taken the liberty of adding it into the contest folder of the group, and from the description's context, categorized it as "startrixmaud". let me know if this wasn't what you intended.
So, I liked the premise, but I feel the execution was poor. Just to get it out of the way, I noticed a significant number of mechanical errors (punctiation, grammar, typos) throughout, enough to make me think they weren't just accidents. Furthermore, I also noticed a few instances of Lavender Unicorn Syndrome as well as some very odd word choice/phrasing in some places.
The higher-level parts of this story were subpar as well. I understand the story you were trying to tell, but I feel that you needed to do a little more work to make it feel natural for the characters. The way it is now, all three of them feel a bit out of character, both in terms of their actions and dialogue. I think it would have been better if the audience had been made aware of Trixie and Starlight's plan ahead of time and shown that they at least acknowledged the ridiculousness of it. The way you portray it, it feels almost mean-spirited, which I don't think was your intention. If you had put in another thousand words or two, you probably could have turned this into a decent fic, but as it is, I can't say I enjoyed it very much.
The premise is interesting, but the whole thing reads like a crackfic. I can appreciate it if that’s what it’s supposed to be, but if it’s not, there’s a lot of editing and expanding that needs to be done. Still, it gets a like from me :D
this is indeed a true statement by Maud
a very Maud reaction
very Maud!
very unsettling
even more unsettilng, especially since this was supposed to be Trixie after the "reveal".
this story took me to a fascinating place. i felt Maud's characterization stayed truest to the show, which included her neurodivergent coding, which really gives this the feel of a story really about Maud being the lowest-status member of a polyamorous relationship, and getting picked on for it. i initially read the prank as a callous lapse in empathy and judgment, but Maud suddenly replacing her justified, unresolved anger with gratitude despite any lack of apology or self-awareness really makes the relationship, if not abusive, at the very least unhealthy.
(of course, the idea of an unhealthy StarTrixMaud story is very fascinating and believable! we'd like to think such dynamics wouldn't happen between characters that we know and love, but they happen between people we know and love in real life all the time, it's just sad to admit such things.)
it's a cute premise though, made me think, and had Maud in it. thank you for writing!"