The year is 2974. A year has passed since the end of the conversion war. Earth recovers from the war as the rest of the Milky Way's civilizations plan to end humanity and their allies. Unfortunately/fortunately for them, humans and their allies were teleported into a different place, into a galaxy far, far away.
Being Rewritten since this was shit
Crossover with Star Wars. Slight crossover with War of the Worlds(2005).
Takes place after Twilight ascends and before Minister Tua was assassinated.
Credit to Vortix and Verfriedguy7 for the names of planets, stars and alien races.
Edited by comrade
Chapters (1)
Please explain why you disliked so I can improve instead of disliking and disappearing.
It's kinda hard to say anything when nothing happend yet...
10890095
How's the world building?
10890102
Sorry to say, but I find this way of recording History (even if fictional) boring...
It's just "Date: This happend!" repeated over and over again with no flare to it...
Personaly I liked the little intro you did for the fanfic more that this prologue:
"The year is 2974. A year has passed since the end of the conversion war. Earth recovers from the war as the rest of the Milky Way's civilizations plan to end humanity and their allies. Unfortunately/fortunately for them, humans and their allies were teleported into a different universe, into a galaxy far, far away."
This is nice
Gets me exited!
10890135
The prologue is an article that tells the history of the Amina federation in brief. If I added more detail, it would have been interesting. It is supposed to be used as a reference to know what the characters are talking about. If you want it to be interesting just imagine an old man reciting it to you.
69 views.
Nice.
KEEP IT UP!!
10892249
I'm putting up an update on Thursday for you and changing the upload schedule.
10890102
Clunky, weird fixation on making planets have the same year as Earth, and many details that I doubt will be relevant to the story but there's only one chapter after this so who knows
10892539
There is another chapter. Only the Sol system has the time is same.
10892705
Okay but why does Mars and Equestria need to have the same year as Earth? It's like most people on Mars woul immediately have birthdays every 600ish days
10892717
I understand your complaint and I do kinda feel stupid about it but it is too late. The planets of the Sol system(Earth, Mars, Equess only) have orbits of 365 days. I wonder if Mars would get flung out of the solar system because of how fast it is moving.
How's the rest of the story?
10892723
Well I've checked the next chapter and you've had a random lore break in the middle of the story suggests pacing and formatting issues. Was there no other way to convey phones built to accommodate horses exist?
10892755
No, I didn't find a way to. Should I put that bit into the first chapter or is there a way that I can leave it here?
edit: Don't worry, I think I got it.
10892807
"Raven slid the device on her wrist, she once marveled at how the touch screen could detect her stubby hooves, but now the wonder has faded and blended into her daily life." Something like that
10892827
Don't worry, I got it sort of. You can check now.
10890095
How about now?
Raven Inkwell and Grand Admiral Thrawn is the same fanfic!
But my birthday was three months ago
Ok... Constructive Criticism...
The only thing I can think of is that the text jumps back and forth too much. In my opinion you don't have to do that, it will get people lost if there are to many sides jumping back and forth in a story. In this chapter for example you could have done Raven's POV first, then Twilight's and lastly Thrawn's.
(But maybe this is just my personal taste...)
10897146
I understand. I don't prefer writing the pov stuff because I make it obvious who's perspective it is.
Isn't the map cool?
P.s. Past me wished happy birthday
10897364
I meant "POV" more like "...Raven's parts in the chapter, then Twilight's parts in the chapter and lastly Thrawn's parts in the chapter."
Thank You.
And... YES! It's a cool map. Every story like this should have a map. It's sci-fi law!
10897756
The jumping from this perspective to that one is for... uh... dramatic effect?
The dramatic effect works better if the stuff is animated, not written.
How the flag of Amina?
10901155
Sadly not a fan of the flag... Too comunist looking for my tastes...
There is only ONE comunist flag design I like:
https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Flag_of_the_Russian_Soviet_Federative_Socialist_Republic_(1918%E2%80%931937).svg
10901317
I prefer the flag of the USSR. The North Korea flag is cool too.
10916127
I like the flag design
what does the yellow symbol meaning?
10931886
Will be explained in later chapter. It is related to Centaurian symbols.