3 - Recycled
Chapter Three
Recycled
Sleepy eyes fluttered open as a noise from somewhere roused Pinkie from her sleep. Consciousness came to her as a warm hug that spread through her body until she was ready to finally face the day.
Now, where the heck am I?
Pinkie was having trouble seeing, in part due to her own bleariness and also in part to the darkness of the room, which was her first clue that she wasn’t in her own bedroom. No, if that were the case, the light up stars on her ceiling would be giving off a soft glow for her to see by. She was definitely somewhere else.
That thought didn’t bother her much, however, conditioned as she was by sleepovers in her youth. Besides, there were a limited number of places she could be nowadays.
Pinkie took a deep breath into her pillow, a huge smile growing as she took in the flowery scent of Trixie’s shampoo.
Ah, right, Pinkie thought, burying her head deeper into the pillow. I did come over last night. I must have spent the night.
Still sleepy and more than a little groggy, Pinkie decided to let Trixie sleep in some more as she savored the morning. Something wasn’t right though, and that ever awakening part of Pinkie was starting to take notice. For starters, Pinkie felt uncomfortably hot under the covers and, as she shifted, she could feel her shirt and her jeans from the previous day.
Why are my clothes still on? she wondered. It’s not like we fool around every time I come over, but I always at least get into her nightgowns because of how flustered she gets and how soft they are. Why didn’t— Right… The talk...
Memories from her drive over began to form, flashes from the past week filling in gaps she had forgotten in her sleep.
Right… that makes sense… But it’s fine because—Sunset!
Like a splash of cold water, Pinkie found herself completely awake. The rest of the night came back to her. The conversation, getting Sunset, driving back, crying to sleep, each segment pieced together before her, filling her with dread.
She listened for the sound of breathing coming next to her. For any sound. For any movement. For anything to let her know that she wasn’t in this room alone.
When she found none, her eyes began to water.
However, it wasn’t until a minute later, when she finally gathered the strength to look and found an empty spot where Trixie had been, that she allowed a proper whine to cross her lips. Sunset wasn’t at her chair either, of course. And that made sense. They’d left together. To a better life.
Without her.
“S-So it’s d-done then” Pinkie said to herself, staring at the closed bedroom door. She’d heard somewhere that hearing something out loud made it easier to believe. She really hoped it was true. “I’m s-so happy for th-them.”
Pinkie sat up on the bed and grabbed Trixie’s pillow, the one Trixie had been using that night, holding it up to her face. She hugged it tightly, sobbing into it, but refusing to make a sound.
You’re supposed to be happy, Pinkie scolded herself. She’s going to be okay now. She’ll be alive in a world of magic. She’s going to have a life much better than anything she could have ever had here… with you.
The tears would not stop and it was getting hard to breathe. She blew her nose into the covers to clear her airway. After all, it wasn’t like Trixie would be around to care anymore. She wouldn’t be around when Pinkie was upset either. Or to send her a good morning text. Or to call her every night and check in. Or to listen to her vent about her friends. She wouldn't be around for a lot of things.
Stop it! Stop it! Pinkie cried. You gave this to her. A gift. You helped her. Stop being sad! Don’t make this about you!
But she couldn’t stop. Even now she was already thinking about the coming week and the many events she’d have to reschedule. The events she would straight up cancel. No more visits to the record shop. No more visits to the park. No more outings downtown. No more magic shows and metal concerts. After all, what was the point if Trixie wasn’t going to be there? It wasn’t like Caramel enjoyed any of that. If anything, she could just do more of the stuff he liked now instead, at least until he too found somewhere better to be.
Stop! Pinkie growled at herself one final time. You’ve done this before. You’ll be fine. You always are. What’s one more friend that leaves?
They all do in the end.
Pinkie had more to say to herself, or so she thought. But at that moment there was a sound. A metal bang coming from the kitchen, which startled her train of thought to a standstill.
What was that?
Quietly getting off the bed and still holding the pillow, Pinkie made her way to the door and pressed her ear against it. She heard...something. There was definitely movement. And a voice? No two voices…
Pinkie swung the door open and rushed into the kitchen, screeching to a halt in front of a very startled Trixie and Sunset, both of whom were in the middle of preparing breakfast.
“Good morning, girls!” Pinkie cheered, a bright smile on her face as she frantically wiped her face with the sleeve of her shirt. The other two continued to stare in disbelief, the hissing of batter filling the silence.
Sunset recovered first. “Fuck, Pinkie. Are you okay?”
“Yeah! Why do you ask?”
“Um…” Trixie exchanged a glance with Sunset. “You kind of look like you’ve been crying. A lot.”
“Oh that,” Pinkie giggled, waving them off. “I had a nightmare, is all. Nothing you two need to worry about. I’ll definitely feel better after some breakfast. What are we having?”
Trixie and Sunset exchanged another look but seemed to agree on dropping the issue, their smiles returning as Trixie went over their vegetarian breakfast options, while Sunset went back to cooking pancakes, adding a comment here and there as talks moved from food onto other topics. Pinkie meanwhile smiled and nodded, putting up an act of normalcy, at least until a break in the conversation where Trixie held on to her hand. The warmth sent shivers through Pinkie’s body.
“You sure you’re ok?” Trixie mouthed at her, causing Pinkie to smile again.
“Yeah, Trix,” Pinkie whispered. “I promise that everything is fine.”
Trixie stared at her for a few seconds with a searching gaze before smiling, satisfied with the answer, and Pinkie could not find it in herself to feel guilty at the deception. After all, even if it was a lie, it was a tiny one and not too far from the truth.
Because, in reality, she was fine. Trixie was still here for now, after all. And so, for as long as that lasted, she had at least one reason to keep smiling.
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Nice story pic!
what's
10921341
Thank you! I’m very glad that I was able to pull off the image I had in my head. Doesn’t always happen.
10921343
Intrusive contemplation about su*c*de. Not an actual plan or anything concrete, but the impulse. I just felt it was explicit enough in this story to demand a trigger warning, as opposed to my other story Leaving Something Behind, where it was all metaphors so I didn’t feel it was necessary.
10921381
oh...
p.s. you can use [spoiler ] [ /spoiler]
10921418
Yeah. I thought about doing the spoiler tag, but it’s not really a spoiler, more of a trigger warning, and I don’t want people to miss it if they need to know it’s coming.
Still, thanks for the advice. If I didn’t already know, that would have been really useful info (and I only learnt that this year).
10921421
you could have want with
p.s. in that size and ...
Probably meant to be 'batter broke the silence' but I want to believe it was 'batter battered the silence'.
I also want to believe that Pinkie's friends and family would get her some kind of support like therapy but they don't seem clued in to how much she hides, yet.
Your writing is as well thought out, heavy hitting and generally good as ever. Looking forward to more.
10922508
Yeah, I’ve tried to imply with the ending that even Trixie (who I’ve tried to portray as the most observant person, behind Pinkie herself) has no idea how bad things are.
The last story I have “planned” deals exclusively with the Pie family, but we’ll talk more about that on Friday.
I’m glad you enjoyed the story. ^_^
Thank you for your time.
The amount of hope packed into those ending lines is just a punch of good feelings. I really adore how well these three were able to communicate with one another and the alternating perspectives that finally allowed us into Pinkie’s head. I find that even meta choices about that can make the characters’ chemistry feel more authentic.
Who's caramel?
Just because they have their own doesn't mean your not friends, they still care about you.
See Pinkie, you had nothing to worry about.
You can has review!
I read this about a month or two ago but neglected to write a review, so apologies about my memory being fuzzy.
Another good story! It was sad seeing Trixie continue to have bad days like this even with Pinkie's support, and how that affected Pinkie. Bringing in Sunset was an interesting attempted solution, and at least it led to everyone understanding each other better.