My name is Flurry Heart, and I'm five years old! I love my family and my friends, especially my two best friends, Ocean Breeze and Melody Charm. But is it really okay to love both of them...?
A story set in the Who We Become series.
Although it's pretty far into the series, no actual prior knowledge is needed to understand this story.
This story was written for Pride and Positivity, which means bigots get a free pass to downvote without reading! Yay! For the rest of you, if you enjoy it consider donating to one of the supported charities: Transgender Law Center, Palestine Children's Relief Fund, Sewa International
This story was workshopped with thedarkprep and Gowak
Proofreading by thedarkprep, Gowak, Krixwell, and Mind Jack
Cover art by Flurry Heart
First vote on this story was a downvote. Let the salt commence
10896581
It's to compensate the sweet adorableness of the story ^^
The level of restraint you showed in the author's note compared to our conversations on what you were going to put on the author's note is just outstanding. Commendable even. A work of art, really.
As for the fic, I'm so glad to finally see it posted
It was just as cute as I remember and I honestly can't wait for you to share the second chapter with everyone else. I'm very excited.
But not Aunty Twilight, she gave me a math book for Heartshwarming.
10896587
Such is the price I must pay v.v
10896599
Glad you're looking forward to the rest, I am as well!
lol well, it's an E-rated story, I should represent that in my author's notes as well
10896603
Haha yes, exactly
10896581
To compensate, I've uphoofed this without reading it either
Ah puppy love. And you definitely do a good job of showing little kid logic and storytelling style with the extra explanatory loops because they don't know what other people will assume. Very sweet!
10896650
lol I appreciate, but I do hope it earns that in the end! Also when I made that comment, it was feeling like this would be downvote bombed, but so far that hasn't happened. The timing on that first downvote makes me think that they didn't actually read, which was expected honestly, but people have by far been upvoting this fic more than downvoting it, so it's working out
10896663
Thank you so much! I had a ton of fun figuring out that little kid logic and telling it through Flurry's lens
Awww! I think you did a great job portraying childhood thoughts of how romance works, and Flurry and her friends were adorable!
10896683
Thank you, I'm glad you think so! And lol, I almost named Melody Charm "Melody Song" instead, so seeing your name here amused me greatly
10896686
Heheh, wow, that's a coincidence
And your story was wonderful!
Cute fic. Flurry's a good kid, and I hope she sorts things out with her friends.
10896666
Read it now, definitely earned the uphoof. Reading a story from a 5 year old's perspective is disorienting, but it has its own charm. As for the author's note -- it seems you're handling this with care. Tracking 👍
You know if Sunset would've said this at the beginning, the WWB series would've been a lot shorter....
10896697
Thank you, glad you liked it!
10896709
Yeah, I really enjoyed the narration but I could see it being a little disorienting. I kinda bounce back and forth between present and past tense, which I'm sure is part of it. And lmao yeah Sunset has some thoughts on playing house, no doubt...
Dawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. Now that that's out of the way, I do remember being 5 and having a crush on my best friend. And this story definitely feels like how I remember it. You don't really have the language to explain it at that age but looking back it's pretty clear.
10896844
I'm glad you think so! For me personally, and what colored some of this story, I remember vividly a time when everyone in my class was deciding who they were going to marry. I had a friend named Madison and she asked me who I was going to marry, and I said I don't know, and she said she'd punch me if I didn't say her. Of course, I said I'd marry her after such a compelling argument
10896861
A regular Romeo and Juliet story that.
Let's be honest. They're 5. I doubt the trio even know yet wher they really stand on it. Even if it's a filly thing and never goes anywhere. If they stay friends forever, then they''ll look back and laugh about it years later.
Who didn't say and do dumb things when they were 5 😝.
Glad you dropped the homophobic crap in this one. Mostly why I don't read this universe after I saw it was a thing. But Flurry Heart needs more love.
10896925
Yeah, this was never intended to be a genuine relationship, and they're absolutely going to look back and laugh at this.
I will say though, while I get you don't want to read about bigotry, diminishing it as "homophobic crap" to an openly trans lesbian in a polyamorous relationship who writes about her own life experiences as a way of coping with them is kinda rude tbh. Like, I'm not saying you should read it, but be mindful of why it's important to some people, yeah?
10896935
Knowing that does add context to it being a thing. Plust that this is an Alternate Universe to the show does help. Doesn't make reading it any easier. And I love TwiShy as a couple.
Favorite ship right there 😁. Oh well.
10896942
Yeah, it's certainly not going to be something everyone wants to read. And I can agree, Twishy OTP
I think I shall call it 'Krickis Conditioning'.
Yes this will do nicely to explain why in an extremely cute and funny story about an upbeat young alicorn I was mostly focused on trying to figure out what the grumpy letters were about and wondering where the relationship drama will lead.
the grumpy letters may simply be about stopping the VES and if that's the case I expect we'll be told about them in future chapters of this story. Unless it's to do with changelings. Or both! Who knows.
When I got to the part with the guard walking Flurry home I joked to myself that it would be Flash. But then it was Flash! Took me a moment to get over the shock and remember that you write him well and with respect.
Speaking of writing well. Flurry's logic and positively is great. I haven't quite warmed to Flurry's two best friends yet but the teacher seems good. And Cadence was a terrific mum.
Looking forward to seeing more of the cast and a resolution and just more in general.
10897191
The grumpy letters will be expanded on in another story, not this one. That other story actually inspired this, minor spoilers for one scene of that story (and I suppose for this one and how it ends): basically Flurry walks in and mentions something about her relationship while her aunts are visiting, and Twilight is moved to tears to imagine a world where her niece can enter a biromantic poly relationship in kindergarten. After imagining that scene, thedarkprep convinced me to write a story about how that came to be.
I'm glad you're enjoying them various aspects of this story, especially Flurry's logic. It was positively a blast to write, almost everything came out in a stream of consciousness style which I'm normally not a fan of, but which was extremely fitting for writing a five year old's thought process. The scene with Cadance was also important to me, because I wanted to show her not making a big deal about this and just validating Flurry's feelings as a good mom does and all that.
5... that feels kinda young but maybe that just me. It still works for the story and the foals interactions with each other so it still works.
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This story is really cute so far, can’t wait to see how it continues/ concludes. The interaction between Flurry abs Cadance was just pitch perfect. Great work
10897521
Between five and six is when a lot (though by no means all) kids start to get interested in relationships. Of course, these aren't relationships in the same way that adult relationships are, but they start exploring that. Usually after that though, around seven, kids lose interest in relationships and it doesn't come back until puberty. I remember when I was around five or six, one of my friends and I planned to get married. It never happened and nothing really resembling an actual relationship came of it, but it is a thing that happens.
Anyway, really glad you're enjoying the story! I like writing kids so I had a ton of fun with this one
10897538
Your probably right, like I said was probably just my personal experience around that time. Can't wait for next chapter
This is adorable! Will you be writing more chapters?
So fun to see some wholesome parenting moments between Cadence and Flurry.
This was just adorable! Very fun to read, with the kiddish narration style^^
I'll admit, I also thought that five years old seemed pretty early for these things, but then I'm comparing to myself, and I've always been slow on the uptake~
Looking forward to the rest!
Hey, your up V down votes is doing better than mine ^.^
10898709
There's one more chapter coming, and I'm posting it tomorrow! Glad you're enjoying, and the mother-daughter scene is one of my favorite parts as well. Hope you like how the story concludes
10899074
There's certainly no universal age to these things, if you didn't start to get puppy love crushes around five or so that's normal. I actually got to talk to a daycare worker when making this fic, and she confirmed that this is something kids do and is a highlight of her job to see the "relationships" form. And yeah, I absolutely adored writing five year old narration haha
10899156
Lol I'm actually surprised, both by that and by the fact that not one person in the comments came here to spew hate. I was genuinely expecting this whole comment section to be a war zone with how young the characters are, but I guess I lucked out!
10899238
I mean (seeing this now isn’t a trans/gender story now) as long as don’t suggest they want to have sex and this more an innocent first love kind of thing, there shouldn’t be any actual problems ❤️
Awwwww
Awww, it's finished!
I was so happy you wrote this story.
It is super sweet
That authors note dosnt make me optimistic for your next story!
10900612
10900635
Glad you both liked it! Who knew I could do something this cute, huh?
10900910
Well I mean, I'm not a literary siren who feeds on the suffering of fictional characters for nothing!
10900943
can't u be a reformed literary siren tho? like sonata?
10901048
Afraid not, but I can promise there will be more happy things coming. Maybe not this cute and wholesome, but I've got positive stories planned too
Yay for another happy ending.
And this time the characters only cried a little bit.
It was strangely immersive really, considering there were no large stakes. I think it was because I wanted to see Flurry being more happy cute than sad cute.
But yeah very cute and well written.
10901368
I'm glad you like it and found it immersive. I think the short length is part of what makes it work, a longer story would be less likely to remain interesting.
Every cute, nice work
10904294
Thank you, glad you enjoyed it
This was really cute! You did a great job presenting a romance that made sense at their ages. It's pure puppy love, and they don't quite know what they're feeling, but they're trying to work through it. I thought the confused rambling narration from Flurry carried the tone well, and it was funny seeing the childish ways the two tried to woo her. It was also interesting reading your author notes regarding the psychology behind this story. It actually reminds me that there was a couple I knew back in second grade, but then I didn't really see romance among my classmates again until high school.
10941168
Thank you so much, I'm glad you enjoyed it! I mentioned in another comment though I don't know if you saw, I got into a "relationship" myself back in kindergarten, so I knew it was a thing that happened, but I did want to look more into so I could make sure it was true to life (experiences are not universal and all that). I'm glad the psychology aspect was also of interest.
I loved writing this five-year-old narration, it was a blast. I don't know that the story could've been much longer with it, but I think it works perfectly for a short story like this. I'm glad you enjoyed it!
That was very cute :)
11836965
Thank you, I'm very happy with this story. It's far from what I usually do but it turned out nice, I think. Glad you enjoyed it as well!