• Member Since 26th Apr, 2016
  • offline last seen 14 minutes ago

Foal Star


Just a Brony who writes fun Fanfiction

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Spearpoint a down-on-his-luck stallion was a terrible royal guard who could barely perform his duties. However, he is given the opportunity to be on Celestia's cleaning staff as one of her maids. But...she secretly starts to turn other rude and lazy royal guards into maids as well. Spearpoint now known as Mop Head rises through the ranks to become the head maid of the transformed stallions and helps them get used to their new lives (and some start to enjoy being mares). But Mop Head has to also find a way to stop Celestia's madness...

All art used in the collage is made by Skitterpone

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Chapters (15)
Comments ( 106 )

Oh, another one based on these images? Will give it a read and get back to you. :twilightsmile:

I'm getting a strange feeling that while this is a Celestia story, I'm getting major Molestia vibes... and that kinda worries me.

So I'm gonna keep reading.

Is this going to be something similar to Nido_King's "Demoted" series?

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Nido_King has his own series called Demoted based on these.

This story has some light masturbation and innuendo throughout.

p.s. why isN'T there any Sex tag ?

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In a sense yes...but Im going more for a personal touch

The princess snickered behind a hoof then asked, "so…the reason I brought you here is I wish to ask if you would want to be one of my cleaning staff?"

Luna: Is this how you recruit your personal maids, sister? I always have suspicion why somepony called them the 'Battle Maids' unit.

This is amazingly well-written I can't wait to see what you do for chapter 2

Maybe I'm being unfair, but the Equestrian Royal Guard would probably be more useful as a Maid Brigade.

They don't appear to be very successful at their current job.

My, isn't this quite the bundle of intrigue.

It's funny seeing these kinds of story. Really fun read.

Nice seeing a update for this story.

Nice to see this story is still continuing. Too bad the new maid in this chapter has no honor.

Mop Head watched as Princess Celestia was cooking, flipping pancakes, and finishing making a few more cups of coffee and straining orange juice into another cup. Mop Head had been a guard for some time, and she never seemed to recognize how maternal she was before. It was adorable watching her cooking breakfast and humming a tune. After the princess started cleaning herself up, she spotted Mop Head staring at her. The maid looked away with her cheeks flushing pink, now feeling self-conscious, having thought of the princess like she was her mother. Celestia walked over and gave the two maids a pleasant smile, then asked, "hello Spear Point...or would you rather be called Mop Head?"

To quote DWK, "Celestia is Equestria's Mom; she's been around the longest, she knows the most, and -even if it seems like she's full of it sometimes- you should* probably just listen to her.

"Mop Head, was Blazing Saddles just harassing you?"

Blaze glared at her knowing full well if she talked, something worse would happen as a result. Mop Head gulped and stammered," no...no, he was just teasing; nothing serious ha...happened."

Blaze smiled, thinking he was in the clear, but Celestia shook her head and said, "I know Blaze's "teasing," and I think that comes up much too often."

She turned to the stallion with a cold glare, then growled, "you're already on thin ice as it is, and you still pull a stunt like this!"

"I didn't do anything! Steel Horn was the one who made the rape joke!" Blaze shouted, pointing a hoof at the other stallion.

"N...no, I didn't!" the unicorn stallion cried out.

"Yes, you did! I just commented on her uniform!" Blaze snapped back.

As the two stallions were bickering, Mop Head did her best not to laugh, seeing the two stallions watching so bold a minute go now reduce to foals tattling on each other.

Celestia then raised her wings and shouted, "Silence!"

The two guards instantly clamped their mouths as Celestia's gaze was still on them as she growled, "harassment will not be tolerated under my palace. Blaze, report to my room immediately, and we can discuss your future as a royal guard!"

Blazing Saddles stomped off, looking rather furious as Steel Horn had a smirk on his face as the princess turned to him, making that smirk fade as she snapped, "for your actions, I'll reprimand you tomorrow."

"Y...yes, princess…." Steel Horn whimpered, lowering his head as Celestia then threw a hoof and continued, "now go, you're dismissed for the evening."

"Yes, princess," the guard squeaked once more before running off, knowing full well he was in hot water.

And also like Mom, you really don't want to tick her off.

"Yes, mam!" the young maid squealed as the old mare looked towards Mop Head with a smirk, "as for you, you will be in charge of cleaning out the entire royal library by yourself, that means you'll organize the books, dust the shelves, clean the loveseats, I don't want a speck of dust in that library!"

Mop Head was stunned as her face grew red, and steam was pouring out of her ears. She was trying to not shout the hundreds of colorful insults and curses at Dusty Shelves. She took in a deep breath, adjusted her uniform, and asked, "why did you assign me to clean the entire library by myself? I was doing fine, performing my other duties."

Dusty gave her an evil grin and said, "it's punishment for your rude behavior and misconduct this morning, plus forgetting to perform a curtsy in the presence of princess Celestia. I hope this will teach you a lesson."

Mop Head wanted to shout and demand her to apologize. Still, she sucked down her anger, performed her curtsy, and replied, "I apologize; I have learned my lessons; I will go and perform my duties as instructed."

What. A bitch. :twilightangry2:

The princess just stood there for a second. She didn't seem angry or insulted; in fact, she looked relatively calm. Then her horn lit up as the tendrils of magic wrap around him as his body started to change. He felt his body morphing with thick muscles becoming much slenderer as his bones morphed and clicked. He felt his skull morphing and he cried out in pain with the octaves getting higher as his face morphed and became more rounded. He groaned, kicking and gnashing his teeth as it was pretty painful. The stallion then felt his mane and tail grow out, and then he gasped, feeling the one thing he cherished the most slowly disappearing. A hoof went down his nether regions, and he realized that his stallion hood was gone, replaced with a hole...a...a….He screamed as he was placed back down onto the ground with his armor now turning into a soft fabric. The gold color turned into a pitch black with the armor growing out, until the now soft black fabric covered his entire backend with the outfit clearly now a dress with white frills outlining the skirt. He looked down to see his hooves now had four black shoes with white socks coming up his legs. Then he felt his helmet which was lopsided on his Head, turn softer on his mane. Blazing Saddles couldn't look into a mirror, but he knew what Celestia turned him into.

The princess then simply got out a new form and started filling it out as she explained, "now, you can be terminated from my duties and be a mare for the rest of your life. Or you can try being a maid for a week, and we can go from there."

"Y...you can't do this, change me back!" Blaze roared, not caring how cute and shrill his voice sounded. He didn’t care if Princess Celestia did this, he will not tolerate this!

Celestia rose up with her hooves on the desk as she growled, "You just threatened to rape me! If I was my sister, she would have thrown you in a cell and have you tried!"

"I... I'm sorry," Blaze whimpered, realizing he was clearly out of line.

Celestia settled down, sitting back on her seat as she presented two forms, "Of course you are, now change your behavior and see how it is to be in a mare's hooves for a week. Then maybe you'll respect them more, and you can be reinstated as a guard."

You were warned. :ajbemused:

He bowed his head with a smirk being rather pleased to see Celestia’s big butt one last time and snickered, "next time we meet, I'll be sure to stick my spear in that fine ass of yours."

Well, that was simply stupid. Couldn't just have waited till you are out of hearring range, right?

The princess then simply got out a new form and started filling it out as she explained, "now, you can be terminated from my duties and be a mare for the rest of your life. Or you can try being a maid for a week, and we can go from there."

"Y...you can't do this, chang

Don't complain, be happy that you got that chance at all, some would just have dismissed you.

Una

Unintentional revenge is best revenge. Lol

Una

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I'm rather surprised that Celestia let that old mare boss Mop Head around so cruelly without saying anything.

I see a promotion for mop head and maybe Amber's attitude turns around

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Lol are you Pinkie Pie? Do you have pinkie sense? XD. :pinkiesad2:

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Sorry you basiclly read my mind. Good guess

Guards are little more than furniture in the palace. Making them maids actually could be seen as increasing their productive value to society.

Una

And she comes back as a stallion. Lol

I am waiting the reaction of Shining & Cadance when they hear about this shenanigan in Canterlot. Maybe the former Captain of the Guard might have some stories to tell?

"Well, I wouldn't be like this if it weren't for you," Amber snapped back.

Mop Head didn't respond right away. Instead, she let Amber stew in her anger while trying not to let her anger consume her. She then casually finished her meal then wiped her face with a napkin before responding, "honestly, blaming me for this is really pathetic. But as I said, you can stay here while I go out and have fun."

Well, she's about a third right.

"Going out doing what!? Being a bitch of a mare!" Amber snapped back, still seething in anger.

To be fair, you were kind of an a-hole before.:twilightangry2:

Mop Head couldn't help but laugh, "wasn't it just the other day you the one telling me to grow a spine?"

Ooh! Does anypony have some aloe vera on hoof? I sense a burn victim!:ajsmug:

The princesses' promiscuous poses

Bet you can't say that five times really fast.:ajsmug:

Amber just stood there being too embarrassed and turned on at the same time. This gorgeous pegasus was now standing in front of her with those piercing blue eyes, that soft light blue and sea green striped mane that fell around her head like a waterfall; it matched perfectly with her snow-white coat, which was partly covered by the toga draped over her body effectuated her beauty. She was a goddess, heck even her cutie mark was that of a statue of a pegasus spouting water from her mouth.

10 bits that her name is-

The mare smirked and cooed, "my name is Aquarius, but my friends call me Aqua."

Called it!:pinkiehappy:

The stallion paused, heart, thumping in her chest when she looked down and saw a paper with his name signed.

"'Made in Canterlot.'"
Other side. :ajbemused:
"Oh."

He looked over the form and stammered, "Maid for a week…new name Silky Apron!? When did I sign this!?"

"Of course, I'll speak to the princess at once as to why she's turning guards into maids," Dusty Shelves said curtly.

To be fair, by all appearances, most of the royal guard spend most of their time standing around and gathering dust anyway.:ajsmug:

Inb4 Dusty gets the UNO reverse card and has to be a guard for a week due to how she did Mop

This is a good start, but there's some grammar and possibly spelling that needs fixing here and there.

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Eventually just got done with school so Ill have more time to devote to writing for the next few months.

“Dusty, as of today, you will no longer be the head maid of the new division, which I'm calling the maids of honor!"

The maids who was a former royal guards? By all accounts, you couldn't name them anything but the battle maids - no matter how incompetent they were.

The maid blinked as Celestia turned her attention to her. "You have proven to clean my room and help Amber show compassion to Philomena and helped Silky have the courage to bake me such a delicious cake," She winked at Silky and added, "which was rather delicious, I might add."

That's redundant.

The newly turned maid added, "yes, there's obviously something going on here. If we turn back to stallions, the invaders will be tipped off so that we might know what's going on. We talked about it last night and we both agree that it would be best if we stay like this."

Ah, hiding in plain sight. :ajsmug:

With the maids in Princess Celestia's room, Amber went to work grooming Philomena while ensuring she had food and water in her bowls. The phoenix flapped and chirped rather happily as Amber nuzzled the bird. She enjoyed being Philomeinia's caretaker and loved how happy the little phoenix was. The pegasus scratched under her chin as she cooed, "oh, aren't you just a cutie."

You might want to wath your spelling continuity, there.

Mop Head wanted to scold Amber for shouting at Princess Celestia. But the princess held up a hoof and said, "I apologize. I didn't mean to say it's terrible," she then went and drank the rest of the tea and added. "It's just not my cup of tea, as they say."

I'm not sure what reference to put here. I think... Both!:derpytongue2:

Mop Head was somewhat cautious as she slowly trotted over and said, "yes, and you are in control? No feelings of turning your guards into maids?"

She could get some of her maids some combat training. It's called a plainclothes guard. And who would be less suspicious than one of the maids?

Princess Celestia took another sip and added, "this is so well blended, and the tea and honey blended so well…and is that a hint of ginger root?"

Sea Star was still feeling rather squeamish, but she didn't want to come out as rude as she curtsied and said, "yes, princess, it's a rather soothing blend, and it's great to have if you're feeling under the weather."

Yes, yes. Honey is packed with antioxidants, improves mental activity and as a bonus helps with sore throat and coughs, to name a few things. Ginger helps fight off a myriad of illnesses like high blood presure, heart and lung disease et cetera, and aids with helthy aging, again, just to name a few things.

The story is good, but you need an editor. So many mistakes could have been avoided if you had someone helping you out. Like this:

abit

This should be two words, not one. "A bit." This mistake is in the chapter multiple times.


I would suggest posting a request for help here:
https://www.fimfiction.net/group/97/looking-for-editors

Damn, this is surprisingly engaging and has me tearing through chapter after chapter wanting more!

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