What’s a King Without a Queen?

by theOwtcast

The Despair

“...so, by now, I’m at my wits’ end,” I said as Spike listened to my disjointed lamenting. “What should I do?”

“It’s that bad?”

“Of course it’s bad! Cilia slapped me, Elytra said she couldn’t believe I’d managed to inspire her or anyling else to share love, Coxa called me a creep and a pervert, Morpheus threatened to saw off my antlers and impale them on my other end if I ever came close to his sister again, and that’s barely scratching the surface of what happened over the past week alone! Not to mention that the collective love aura is getting thinner and sourer than ever before! Okay, maybe it was worse when Chrysalis was in charge, but that’s setting the bar really low… They don’t seem to trust me anymore! I started doing it to ensure the hive’s stability and future, and I feel like I’m this close to destroying it! It’s worse than when Pharynx kept refusing to accept the new ways!”

“He’s the one who put you to it?”

“Yes.”

“So why doesn’t he help you?”

“He said he couldn’t because this was something I had to figure out by myself, and I quote, ‘like every changeling in history did’. I’m not sure whether he expects it to suddenly and miraculously work or just doesn’t want to get dragged into the colossal mess I’ve made… I don’t want to think that he enjoys watching me struggle, though I can’t entirely rule it out, either…”

“...is it possible that he might be after the throne?”

I scoffed. “He’s had plenty of chances to seize power from me even without resorting to creating this level of chaos! Besides, I sense a streak of genuineness in him in spite of all…” Though Spike had suggested that possibility with a great degree of caution, presumably expecting me to get outraged or worrying he might deepen my concerns even further, I’d already considered and dismissed it several times over the past couple of months.

“Okay, I’ll take your word for it,” he shrugged. “But seriously, he never once attempted to help you?”

“No, he’s generally not prone to helping people, even when asked directly. It’s not even that he doesn’t want to help, but his idea of ‘helping’ is probably to throw you head-first into trouble and not interfere while you struggle to get out. I don’t know if it occurred to him that such an approach rarely gives results, but even if it did, I honestly don’t know what could work! Maybe this really is something I have to figure out for myself… He keeps calling me a lost cause, and maybe I am… How am I going to figure this out, Spike? Maybe I really am a lost cause! I don’t want to doom the hive, but what if there’s nothing I can do to prevent it?”

He sat there in silence for a minute, then shook his head. “I’m sorry, Thorax, I wish I knew what to do, but… well, you might get offended, but I still find it hard to believe that a changeling can feel no romantic attraction whatsoever. Aren’t you guys supposed to be the masters of love?”

“There are many flavors of love, Spike, and romance is just one of them. I can sense it in others to an extent, but I can’t evoke it in my own heart, or at least I’ve never succeeded so far. Maybe I will one day under the right conditions, but all this pressure isn’t helping any! Most changelings aren’t flawed that way, but it can happen; in fact, you could say it used to be a kind of advantage in the old days when blind loyalty to Chrysalis was the only form of affection allowed, if you can call it that, and all other forms of affection such as friendship or romantic passion would mean punishment to any drone who harbored those feelings, not to mention it would make him or her a potential food source for the others to take advantage of. Come to think of it, maybe that’s why Pharynx used to beat me up all the time when we were little…”

“So you’re supposed to take a thing you not only can’t feel, but never would have been allowed to feel even if you could, and take it to expert levels just because?” he asked dryly.

I chuckled. “Yeah, it does sound ridiculous when you put it that way…”

“Why?”

“Tradition,” I shrugged. “Pharynx insists that if I’m to have a successor, this is the only way to do it, because the oldest nymph etcetera etcetera plus a bunch of other rules for all kinds of scenarios in case a backup heir or a backup of the backup’s backup has to fill in because of whatnot… please don’t ask me to repeat it, I got a headache three times just listening to him drone on about it…”

“You don’t have to! Twilight has a book on that! I can bring it to you right now if you want!”

“She has a... Of course she does,” I sighed. “No, please don’t bring it!”

“Heh, right, I guess it’s the last thing you need right now…”

“Um, Spike?” I asked after a moment. “Does Twilight have any books on how to make someone fall in love?”

He cringed. “You don’t want to go there, trust me!”

“Why?”

“She does have a book that includes a recipe for a love potion, among other things, except that it’s actually a recipe for a love poison. Three fillies in Ponyville found that recipe a few years ago and tricked somepony into drinking it… they had good intentions but let’s just say the situation turned into something Discord would have to work hard to surpass and leave it at that.”

“Okay, not touching that, then,” I agreed. “What about teaching someone how to fall in love?”

He shook his head. “Another book says if you don’t have it in yourself to fall in love, you may learn to act the part but there’s nothing in the world that will teach you the genuine feeling. And Cadance co-authored that book, so…”

I nodded grimly. “So I really am hopeless… Do you at least have any books on immortality?”

“...I’ll get back to you on that. Am I right in assuming that you want to find out whether or not you’re immortal and maybe ditch this whole thing if it isn’t necessary?”

“Yes, please tell me you remembered something!”

“Remembered what?” Twilight spoke, entering the room. “Hi, Thorax! Uh-oh, did I forget an appointment? Spike, why didn’t you remind me?! Is anycreature else due to arrive? I haven’t prepared the-”

“No, relax, I’m here on an impulse!” I interjected, and she calmed down considerably.

“Thorax wants to find out if he’s immortal,” Spike explained. “Well, that among other things, actually…”

“Do you have any books or personal experience on the matter?” I asked hopefully.

“I’m afraid not, but Princess Celestia did tell me once that she woke up one day and just knew, no explanation how, but she suddenly knew she was immortal, and apparently Luna experienced something similar. I haven’t had any such moments, but she was about twice my current age at the time, so maybe my moment of epiphany just isn’t due to happen yet, assuming it will happen, of course… Maybe yours will too? I don’t really know how it works with changelings!”

“I wonder if we’ll ever find Chrysalis… You think she’ll care to tell us?”

“Probably not. But Thorax, why are you suddenly obsessed with immortality?”

“Long story short, it’s a matter of whether or not I need a successor.”

“Oh. ...I’m sorry, I was under the impression that you’d want nymphs. You don’t?”

“It’s not that… I do like nymphs but I’m not ready to be a father yet. And the whole romance thing…” I shuddered. “I’d rather adopt. At least it would save me the pain of finding a mate…”

“Thorax appears to be asexual,” Spike explained to Twilight’s confused glare. “Who would have thought?”

“You make it sound like it’s a bad thing,” she scolded him.

“Right, sorry…”

“Anyway, Thorax, I’m sure you’d be a great father if you decide to go down that road!”

“‘If?’ I’m not sure that I can afford an ‘if’; Pharynx made it very clear which conditions my nymphs must meet in order to be considered rightful heirs.”

“The conditions described in the first volume of Regal Script’s Compendium of Ancient Royal Succession Rights and the Order of Royal Succession? I didn’t realize those were practiced in the Changeling Kingdom! Didn’t you say Chrysalis was immortal?”

“She is, and I didn’t realize it either until Pharynx started shoving them down my throat a couple of months ago,” I shrugged. “I didn’t even know they existed until Pharynx started shoving them down my throat… I guess Chrysalis didn’t need them, and it’s probably the case with Celestia and Luna too… though, now that I think about it, those rules would explain why Cadance had a foal…”

“No, Cadance has never cared for random ancient protocols and such,” she said. “She got married and had Flurry because she wanted a family even though she knew she could outlive her husband and children, though with Flurry being an alicorn-”

I’d stopped listening; something in the back of my mind stirred and demanded to be listened to. There was a choice?! I’d been convinced those rules had to be followed blindly and unquestioningly!

“...though if Ember hadn’t competed for the Dragon Lord title, this would be more widely known and…” Twilight rambled on.

“Huh?” I blurted out. “Sorry, uh, I must have zoned out for a minute there… What did you say about Ember competing for the Dragon Lord title?”

“Yes, dragons have a tradition of competing for the throne when the ruling Dragon Lord is due to step down, and it’s pure chance that Ember happens to be the daughter of the previous Dragon Lord, and Torch didn’t even want her to compete, and…”

I zoned out again. The voice in the back of my head screamed now! I hadn’t realized there was a tradition different from what Pharynx had described! And this one didn’t even seem to demand a blood relation between a leader and his or her successor!

“Um, Twilight?” I interrupted her. “Spike said you have a copy of that book, what’s it called…”

“The Regal Script’s Compendium of Ancient Royal Succession Rights and the Order of Royal Succession, volumes one through four? Yes, why?”

“I don’t suppose you’d mind if I borrowed it for a bit?”