The Nightmare Procession

by Dashie04

I Don’t Love You

After I awoke, I wondered what to think
Of witnessing my judgement while I was on the brink.

Then, a simple phrase was said,
That turned my world on its head.

---

I awoke to the sound of beeping after that dream, or whatever it was. I was back in the hospital bed. My eyes quickly adjusted to the sudden light.

The very first thing I realized was that my head was still overcome with a splitting pain, which had vanished in the dream. The second thing I noticed was Goldflower’s face taking up most of my vision. The moment I opened my eyes, I swore I saw hers light up.

“Geode, you’re still alive!” she exclaimed. I readjusted so I was sitting up, and she immediately hugged me like she thought she’d never see me again. To be fair, I didn’t think I’d see myself again either.

I also saw some doctors in front of me. They were incredibly unamused.

“Mr. Geode, you can’t just leave the hospital while suffering from a terminal disease. You could’ve gotten seriously hurt, and what would’ve happened if you’d died?” one doctor said in a stern tone. “In fact, you were out for over 12 hours, and we actually believed you died.”

“But he’s not, so we’re all good. You can leave us alone now,” Goldflower ordered.

“Unfortunately, we can’t,” the same doctor explained. “We can’t have him leaving again, just in case those things do happen.”

I wanted to focus on something else, so I tried to break into the argument, directing my words at one griffon in particular. “Goldflower, you were sure excited to see me awake.”

Goldflower released me, and then smiled sheepishly. “Yeah... I was, wasn’t I...” she muttered.

“You know, I’m happy to see you too,” I responded, trying to make her feel better by any means.

“That’s a relief,” Goldflower sighed.

She was very different from the griffon I was used to, so I could tell that she was trying to go out of her way to not mention something. I didn’t know what that something was at the time, and I was eager to find out.

“Still, Goldflower, you’re a lot more excited than I’d expect you to be. What’s going on with you?” I pointed out.

Goldflower looked around the room nervously. “That’s for a different time.”

She then left.

So, I was stuck in the room for hours on end while waiting for her to come back. Mind you, my other acquaintances, or perhaps they were friends at this point, did visit periodically, but they mainly were just checking in. Goldflower seemed to have more to her story than the others.

When Granite left that day, the doctors left with him, because they needed to sleep. I however, didn’t want to, so I sat alone in darkness until I heard the soft click-clack of a griffon’s talons.

Sure enough, it was Goldflower.

“I had to sneak out to see you, but I had to. I wanted to tell you something,” she explained, her barely visible silhouette gliding into the room.

She had piqued my interest. I knew she had something that she wanted to tell me. However, this level of secrecy just to give me some information seemed a bit suspect.

I had no idea how right I’d be proven in time.

“So, Geode, you remember when I broke down crying while trying to tell you something?” she asked.

“Vaguely,” I responded, as dry as I could, “the dream that happened while I was out was only a little wild. It happens to have basically scrambled my recent memories.”

Goldflower rolled her eyes. “Geode... I swear. But basically, the thing I wanted to tell you is...”

She trailed off after that statement, leaving me more than a little confused. I had to point it out. “Is... what? Come on, it’s not like I’m gonna kill you or anything... probably.” I said the last part with a twinge of sadness in my voice.

Goldflower took a deep breath, releasing it, she finally said “I love you, okay?”

The moment after I said that seems to be relayed in slow-motion, almost as if my brain had to process everything I was saying and doing right then. There was shock, there was horror, there was anger, and of course, doubt that she ever could. All of those emotions were released into one explosion of emotion that I took out on Goldflower.

“No! You can’t possibly love me! You don’t know the atrocities I’ve committed! If you knew that you’d hate me, like I hate myself. You’d wish I was a different griffon, that my past was different, that I could live somehow, someway, different. You don’t love me, you love the me I want to be!” I broke down into tears, and Goldflower took a step back, recoiling in sudden shock.

“Didn’t you just steal and drink sometimes? I would hardly consider that an atrocity. Remember, we’re going to change Griffonstone, make it better! We’ll fix that past in a jiffy!” Goldflower countered.

“I did more than steal and drink, Goldflower... I was a bad griffon,” I reflected right back.

“Like what? I love you regardless of what you did, the past doesn’t define us today. Admittedly, the punishment should fit the crime, but I’m sure you can leave it all behind you,” Goldflower reassured.

I appreciated her sentiment. But I still didn’t believe her one bit. I responded, “Goldflower, you’re only saying that because you don’t have the nerve to say that you don’t love me like you did yesterday. Trust me, you don’t.”

Goldflower realized there was no arguing, and replied, “If you say so...”

She left confused and hurt. She really thought I was the one she loved, but I’d just turned her down. Not only that, but she left me confused and hurt. I didn’t know what to make of what she said, and I didn’t know how to feel.

So, all I could do was wait.

Author's Note:

Looks like Tangled Up in Blues got mixed up in this chapter.