• Member Since 5th Dec, 2011
  • offline last seen 8 hours ago

terrycloth


E

Rainbow Dash never did her sonic rainboom, and while she's still friends with Fluttershy, Rarity works on a rockfarm, Applejack and Twilight live in Manehattan, and now Nightmare Moon has returned to Ponyville with no egghead there to recite the prophecy. Who will stop her? Will everypony have to learn to live with the eternal night?

Chapters (15)
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!
Comments ( 44 )

Rarity would never spit on her hoof...

Nightmare Moon Vs Fluttershy's Stare. FLAWLESS VICTORY. :P

81281

alternate universe? living on a rock farm?

"Your special talent is exploding, isn’t it!" :rainbowdetermined2:

No! No, no... No, not at all! That hardly ever happens. That mark just represents my, um, sparkling personality! Aheh. :twilightblush:

I like this story. It has a lot of witty and funny moments, but in some ways it's more compelling than the original version. I like the idea of conquering Nightmare Moon with actual friendship, instead of some sort of friendship-powered magical super-weapon.

Aww, poor Celestia. v.v

Yay, eternal night! And Nightmare Night references! Surely Luna's just pranking them all. <3

Rainbow Dash's flashback made me giggle. Hee!

*laughs*

Ponyville totally would be the town to be late with dawn. :D

Wow. Nice, real nice. Rarity such a bitch here, just as Dash.

Very interesting, complete story. What the hell, couple of awesome original stories just popped up. WOW

Go Applejack! Don't let a monster filled crumbling ruin scare you off. n.n

Now I'm wondering if Twilight Sparkle's cutie mark is the same. Poor Twilight! Not having proper magic is terrible for her. v.v

*laughs*

The characters are really spot-on. I can totally hear Fluttershy saying she has to keep Dash out of trouble. And Dash joining the dark side for a cool uniform. Hee!

Yay! Now the mane cast can all become friends, right? Surely they won't spend the next several chapters squabbling and blaming each other for this mess. n.n

...

Rarity and Applejack having their best business interests at heart feels both right and eally, really wrong.

Really.

Ooh, they are getting to work on it! I'm impressed.

That sounded ominous. c.c

I guess we get to see in a later flashback how Dash and Shy went from prisoners to Shadowbolts, although "accepting NM's version" is a good first step. n.n

So Dash is making sure it hits her in the face?

Dash is such a jerk. n.n

Whee!
No doubt Twi will somehow have to be the pony to cast the final spell. n.n

Dash is *such* a jerk. Apparently getting kicked out of Clousdale didn't do good things for her personality. c.c

No one can resist the STAREMASTER!

Or a righteous lecture. Not even Nightmare Moon!

<3 the moral at closing. I agree, having Nightmare Moon conquered by actual friendship is pretty awesome. Very much in the spirit of the show -- even Rainbow Dash's "friendly prank" has a certain appropriateness. :)

Heh heh. Well, I'm glad people liked it. I know the premise isn't exactly original, but I wanted a version where Nightmare Moon was both really Luna and really dangerous. And that wasn't grimdark.

I also like beating up on Rainbow Dash I guess, because she's kind of a jerk. She's still best pony though.

And yeah, Rowyn, there were a couple flashbacks I was thinking of having that I didn't have a good place to put in. One of them was Rainbow Dash convincing Nightmare Moon to let her join. The only line I had was one about her rainbow mane striking terror into the hearts of their enemies, because really, what could possibly be more terrifying than a rainbow? Those things are weapons of mass destruction!

Ice

Best ending line ever

Yay :yay: now the Eternal Night has begun I must finish the story :twilightsheepish:

little hard to follow but still very well writen:rainbowkiss:

Now, this... this is great. There are a few pacing issues to address, and not as much detail as there could be at times, but I'm one to talk. :raritywink:

I admit, I don't know if I like Applejack in this universe, but still curious about where it all goes from here, if you're going to expand. Maybe she'll grow on me, like she did in the series proper.

255334
Sometimes I think detail is my bane. :derpytongue2: I can see everything clearly in my head but I forget to actually describe it and end up with pages of dialog instead.

255391

It is awfully nice dialog, make no mistake. :pinkiehappy:

An artificial Rainbow of Harmony, eh? It's a crazy idea, but it just might work! :pinkiecrazy:

“Plan D: Convince Nightmare Moon to help by… oh my,” she said, blushing a bit.

Someone's been writing TwiLuna shipfics. What makes this extra-funny is that this is Twilight reading HER OWN NOTES. Maybe she didn't totally think things through when she was totally thinking things through? :twilightblush:

Utterly hilarious and an intelligent exploration of alternative character development.

Rarity would make a great rock farmer with her talent, yep.

Twilight and Applejack as friends in business together are highly believable.

Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy as Shadowbolts – BWAH-HAH-HAH!!! Great!

Your resolution followed very logically.

Snips and Snails: Born to Be Lackeys. :rainbowlaugh:

A nice bit of character exploration and humor. That last line in particular is delivered with perfect timing.

Beating Nightmare Moon by being friendly (and a stern talking to) reminds me of another alternate universe story: A Minor Variation, though Nightmare Moon goes back to Luna and is hit with the Elements, it's pretty much unnecessary as she was beaten before that by the power of hugs. It's another "no sonic rainboom" story, actually:
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/47421/a-minor-variation

"Yes... Being trapped on the moon should have definitely made you feel forgiving, Luna, what went wrong with my brilliant plan?" Celestia was puzzled.

I really do love how their first response is to give her candy. It logically follows from the Nightmare Night episode.

81805
Well, let's face it, we've seen not even Discord can stand up to Fluttershy once she's had some time to work on him. And Nightmare Moon's known her for a while by this point.

Oh, good. They got the uber-purple and sub-red colors. :pinkiehappy:

The stare as used here is just about the most god‐awful example of deus ex machina I’ve had the displeasure of reading in the last month. Both managing to talk the villain down and Nightmare Moon’s speech at the end are so god‐damned clichéd that I honestly would have preferred eternal night ending with the death of all life on Equus.

An alternative to the trite ending could’ve been successfully demonstrating the projectors, buying the time necessary to convince Nightmare Moon to back off on the whole eternal night schtick. Perhaps educating Nightmare Moon on how perceptions of the night have changed in the last hundred‐odd years — the very thing she wanted to achieve with her usurpation of the throne was achieved almost a century ago and everything she’s doing is actually undermining it! — and driving home the point using the scarcity of materials to construct projectors: “You have to meet us halfway on this; you gave us an impossible task and we did it. Yeah, eternal night that doesn’t end all life on Equestria is theoretically possible but it is not feasible.”

This is one of the few stories with endings I loathe that I’ll up‐vote for the journey alone — usually an ending I don’t like leaves whatever I was reading ruined forever™. Certainly didn’t hurt any that this story is flawless from a technical standpoint. :ajsmug:

"My special talent isn't exploding! It's... It's... exponential expansion!" :twilightblush:

"Isn't that just a fancy set of words for explodin'?" :ajsmug:

:facehoof:

:rainbowlaugh:

"And with these here Elements of Opportunism..." :ajsmug:

"We are not calling them the Elements of Opportunism, Applejack!" :facehoof:

"I should think not! The Elements of Fabulosity would be a much more fitting name, I would think." :duck:

"!?" :twilightoops:

"They're the Elements of Awesome!" :rainbowdetermined2:

"No! Absolutely not!" :twilightangry2:

This is so old... Oh well, its from 2011, the Golden Age :pinkiesmile:

7710840 It's the first ponyfic I ever wrote. :twilightblush:

81645
Yep, in no way what so ever will that happen.

Login or register to comment
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!