Bloopers are Magic : Part 2
Luna waved her hoof, fanning herself in the hot recording room. “Do you guys have any fans in here?”
“Nope,” a staff replied, rustling papers. “Fans create noise, and that could get into the audio recordings.”
“Fair, I supposed,” she muttered. “Though, but if I’m just practicing my evil laughs, why do I need to be in here?”
“There is soundproofing padding in the walls,” the staff answered in a matter-of-fact tone. “You can be as weird as to want to, and no one would hear it.”
“No one, huh?” she smiled smugly, rubbing her hooves together.
The griffon in front of her frowned. “No screaming.”
“Well, that’s just no fun.”
“Come back here!” The camera followed Rainbow’s movements as she tried to follow after the cloudy smoke. Unfortunately for her, the pegasus wasn’t able to keep with the animated essence.
She panted, looking worried. “Nighttime…forever?”
Then she paused. “That’s a really weird line. Why did you guys write that?”
“Because….” the director's voice tried to explain, but didn’t have the words to describe it. When Rainbow shot a weird look, he sighed. “Just…follow along with the script, please?”
A sigh answered. “Alright, but when the script is weird, I’m calling it out.
Spike laid the bed basket, twitching. He abruptly got, looking drowsy. “…we got to stop Nightmare…!” he started, before collapsing back onto his pillow.
Twilight smiled, throwing a blanket onto him. “You’ve been up all night, Spike,” she whispered lovingly. “You are a baby dragon, after all.”
The unicorn walked away, turning off the lights. Just when the scene was about to end, a loud crash could be heard.
“Ow!” Twilight’s voice groaned.
The dragon opened his eyes. “What happened?”
“The stairs are slippery!” she complained off-camera. “Who’s water spilled?”
A nervous laugh came from behind the camera, and Spike glared directly at it.
“Elements, elements, elements. Ugh!” Twilight fretted as she trashed the library. She levitated one book after another, flipping through them quickly. “How can I stop Nightmare Moon without the Elements of Harmony?”
Rainbow came flying into the scene, pressing her face close to the unicorn. “And just what are the Elements of Harmony?” she growled.
“How did you get into my house?”
Rainbow ignored the joke line. “And how did you know about Nightmare Moon, huh?” She began the back Twilight into the corner. “Are you a spy?”
Her accusation was pulled back Applejack entered the scene. “Simmer down, Sally,” she said. “She ain’t a spy.” Then her gaze turned to Twilight Sparkle. “But she sure knows what going on. Don’t you, Twilight?”
The five actresses walked closer to the unicorn in uncomfortable silence. She blinked, before a strained smile curved her face.
“You guys are very creepy.”
“…it is said the last-know location of the five elements was in the Ancient Castle of the Royal Pony Sisters,” Twilight finished her line, waiting in silence as the camera stopped recording. She smiled and sighed before Pinkie approached her.
“Nice work, Twilight,” she complimented. “That was perfect on the first try! How did you do it?”
Twilight snorted. “Oh, I just glued my script to the page.” She showed the earth pony her secret. “See?”
Pinkie stared. “...how did you do that without being caught?”
“Action!” The clapboard went off.
Twilight started her very short sentence. “It is located in what is now…”
“Stop! Stay as still as possibly can,” the director ordered. The actresses did so, hearing the clamor of equipment being moved around behind them. Despite wanting to see what was happening, they stayed put.
“Woah,” Rainbow muttered absentmindedly as magic levitated them into the air. They floated a couple of inches off of the ground, shuffling out of the library and onto the streets.
They were moved carefully, not even daring to twitch their legs as they dangled. Coming closer to a heavily wooded area, the actresses descended to the ground, planting them in their exact positions.
Even more shuffling and loud crashes sounded, which made Twilight hold her breath.
“Okay, ready….” The clapboard went off again. “Continue!”
“Wee! Let’s go!” Pinkie exclaimed, about the bounce off into the forest.
“Not so fast,” Twilight interrupted her before she could go very far. The camera zoomed in on her face. “Look, I appreciate the offer, but I’d rather do this on my own.”
Applejack walked into frame. “No can do, sugar cube. We ain’t letting a friend of ours go into that creepy place alone,” she protested, not seeing the unicorn’s skewed face.
“We’re sticking to you like candy on a caramel apple,” she said, before halting in her tracks. “ I mean, caramel on a candy apple…dammit! I almost had it.” The girls giggled while she grumbled. “It’s not that hard! Why?”
The video shook as a voice spoke from behind the camera. “If it means anything, I didn’t notice the mess up!”
“Ready, set, action!”
On cue, they started to walk through the forest, the camera following their movements. “So, none of you have been in here before?” both Fluttershy and Twilight whispered at the same time, to which they glanced at each other.
“That’s my line,” they both said in unison. The actresses turned their heads to someone off-camera, a waiting expression on their faces.
A distant voice replied. “On this script, it says Twilight. What about everyone else’s?”
All the girls took out their copy of the script, giving various answers.
“Mine says ‘Fluttershy’.”
“‘Twilight’.”
“‘Twishy’…”
“Why does it say ‘Koolaid’?”
“Okay, who’s the troll who did this?” the director's voice yelled, to which a laugh could be heard in the distance.
“KEVIN!”
Rainbow reread her script as they set up onto the next scene. “No pony knows,” she whispered in a melodramatic voice. “Every pony who’s ever come in…has never come OUT!”
She shouted the last part, startling everyone else around her. Beside her, Applejack jabbed her ribs, asking out loud, “Is that line appropriate for children?”
“Death joke? In a show for kids?” Rainbow clarified. She then shrugged. “More likely than you’d think.”
“Applejack, what do I do?” Twilight asked in a panicked voice, her legs scrabbling against the sharp ledge.
Applejack stayed silent before looking up momentarily. “Let go.”
The unicorn frowned. “Are you crazy?”
The earth pony chuckled. “Very much so, but that’s not the point.”
“Cut!” the director yelled offscreen.
“What?” she blinked innocently. “I’m supposed to be honest, am I not?”
Fluttershy and Rainbow caught the falling unicorn in midair, hovering off the ground. Twilight looked at both of them, before sighing. “Phew.”
Then she slipped.
“AAH!” she screamed once more, the camera following the fall as she bellyflopped to the rocky ground. “Oof!”
Behind the videocamera, a voice could be heard grimacing. “Maybe we should have some suspension wires as a backup…”
“Aww, what’s his name?” Fluttershy asked as she stroked the manticore’s name. The hybrid creature yawned, snuggling under her chin.
“Roarington The First,” the Kirin replied, smiling. “It’s odd. You’re the first he’s ever been openly affectionate with.
“Ha!” Rainbow came barreling in, nudging her fellow actress with her wing. “First one, huh? At the rate you’re going, Fluttershy, you might just become a Disney Princess!”
“Three, two, one, action!”
As soon as the clapboard went off, Roarington went straight for Rarity with a roar and a growl. The unicorn dodged, bucking the manticore in the face.
“Take that, you ruffian!” she taunted. He responded with a spit-ridden shriek, which made the unicorn hair puff out and tangle significantly.
“My hair!” she whined, touching the frizzy mess. Roarington bellowed, which sent the unicorn running in the opposite direction.
The camera followed as she ran past Fluttershy, and the pegasus could be heard quietly whispering, “Wait.”
This went unnoticed as Applejack leaped into the fray, wrangling the manticore. “Yee-haw! Get along, little doggy!” she yelled as the hybrid creature rolled around, trying to get her off.
When he finally dislodged her, Applejack came soaring near Rainbow Dash. “All yours, partner.” She tipped her hat.
“I ship it!” Pinkie's voice echoed, which halted the operation.
“What?” the pegasus questioned, looking towards the left.
Offscreen, the actress's voice laughed. “Sorry, sorry. I couldn’t help myself.”
The pink mare walked into camera range, shooting an apologetic look. Then that look became a smirk. “But you can’t tell me I’m wrong.”
Fluttershy laughed a little as she brushed out Rarity’s mane. “I’m very sorry about your hair. You sure you won’t be too devastated by it?”
The unicorn sighed. “No, I’m not that attached to it.” She levitated a plastic cylinder towards her, unscrewing the cap. “It just a little annoying. You want to know how many bottles and gel I had to use to get my hair like that?”
“No,” Fluttershy answered bluntly.
“Three packs!” she exclaimed anyway. “You know how much money that costed me?”
Rarity shuddered as they continued to walk through the forest. “My eyes need a rest from all this icky muck,” she complained. As intended, the actresses passed under a dark canopy, blocking out the moonlight.
She muttered, “Well I didn’t mean that literally.”
“That ancient ruin could be right in front of our faces and we wouldn’t even know it!” Twilight said, her voice pitching up slightly.
“Forget the ruin!” Rainbow seemed on edge. “What if there was a cliff? We’d be plummeting to our deaths in that case.”
“Cut!” the director’s voice called. “Rainbow, we can’t say ‘death’ on a kids' show.”
The actress screamed as scary-faced trees appeared all around them, backing themselves into a corner. All of them except Pinkie Pie, who seemed to not take it very seriously.
“Ha!” she laughed, making faces to imitate the trees. “Bleh! Ooh! Hehahaha!”
“Pinkie, what are you doing?” Twilight exclaimed. “Run!”
The pink pony turned to look at the unicorn, frowning. “Yeah, because running is definitely what you’re doing right now.”
“This is the recording room, Miss Pinkie Pie,” a changeling welcomed.
The actress stepped into the soundproof room, looking around. “I see. It’s a bit duller than I expected.”
The changeling shrugged. “We don’t have the budget to upgrade this room, so make do with what you have.”
Pinkie stepped near the microphone, tapping on the head. The sound replayed back at her at full volume, which was torture on her ears.
The changeling was barely affected. “You need to plug in your headphones, else it’ll play through the speakers.”
“Would be nice if you told me that earlier.”
“Giggle at the ghostie!” Pinkie sang, hyping performance up. “Guffaw at the gr…gross..ly,” she struggled as the instrumental went on. “Gro…sssss…ly. Grossly. That doesn’t sound like a word. Hold on.”
She read the lyrics once more. “Guffaw at the grossly. Crack up at the creepy. Whoop it up—‘whoop it up’? That’s a phrase? Why have I never heard of that?”
Pausing the music momentarily, she tried to understand the song. “Did you guys use thesaurus.com for this?”
“Hello,” one of the sound producers greeted. “Steven Magnet, right?”
“That’s me!” the serpent said, splashing around in the lake. “Honestly, I’m quite excited about this. This is the first time I’ve ever been on a show.”
“Yes yes,” she waved her hoof. “Excuse me for being upfront, but I’m curious. How does one name their child ‘Steven Magnet’?”
“Mother was drunk when she named me,” he answered nonchalantly.
“Ah. That makes sense.”
“…All ruined without your beautiful mustache,” Rarity finished dramatically, to which the serpentine cried out.
“It’s true! I’m hideous!” Steven covered his head in despair.
The unicorn squinted her eyes. “I simply cannot let such a crime against fabulosity go unchecked!” The mare leaned forward quickly, pulling off a fake scale that was taped onto the serpent.
Nothing happened for a while. Steven Magnet looked down at her with an odd expression.
It wasn’t until a sounder producer stepped into frame. “You’re supposed to act like you are in pain.”
“Oh!” He nodded. “I was just expecting it to hurt or something.” He cleared his throat.
“OW! What did you do fOR-“ he coughed, sputtering out hacks as he pounded his throat. “AcK—w-why am I choking—?”
Rarity spat the fake scale out. She then levitated a large pail of water, levitating it to him. “Try not to choke to death, dearie.”
“There it is!” Twilight pointed out. “The ruin that holds the Elements of Harmony. We made it!” She started running for the distant castle.
“Twilight, wait for us!” Applejack ran after her.
“We’re almost ther—oh SHIT!” Twilight turned back to tell them, only for the ground beneath her to fall away. Slipping she found herself plummeting off of a broken bridge.
Luckily, Rainbow managed to catch her before she could fall into oblivion.
“You okay?” a voice behind the camera called, concern in their voice.
“Yeah, I think I’m okay,” Twilight breathed.
“What’s with you and falling off of cliffs today?” Rainbow asked, laughing nervously.
The unicorn frowned. “It was only twice. Three times if you count the retakes.”
“Rainbow…” a shadowy voice called.
Rainbow drew in a breath, dropping the rope. “Who’s there?”
“…Rainbow….” it repeated itself.
“I ain’t scared of you,” the actress lifted herself onto her back hooves, boxing the air. “Show yourself!”
“We’ve been eagerly awaiting the arrival of the best flier in Equestria…” it said from the fog, the voice echoing.
“Who?”
The voice laughed. “Why…you, of course.”
The pegasus chuckled. “Oh yeah, kiss my ass a little more, why don’t ya?”
“C-Cut!” the director chortled. “No swearing! Kids show.”
“We should make an adult version of this show,” she pitched in, her voice a grumble. “Or at least up the rating.”
Pinkie counted as the Elements were lowered to the ground. “One, two, three, four…uh, there’s only five of them.” She turned to look at Twilight.
“Where the sixth?” Rainbow asked.
“The book said, ‘when the five are present, a spark will cause the sixth element to be revealed,’” Twilight recalled, sitting on the floor.
“What the hay is that supposed to mean?” Applejack threw a skeptical look.
“Spark. Sparkle. My name is Twilight Sparkle. It’s me,” she smirked. “The book was very specific with its word choice.”
“Twilight!” the director exclaimed. “Please stop reading into the script!”
The unicorn laughed. “Am I wrong, though?”
Grumbling answered her.
An editor sighed tiredly, banging his head on the table. It was well past midnight, so why he was still editing the lightning in this specific scene, he didn’t know.
Behind him, he hears a clatter of hooves.
“Coffee?” Luna's voice offered.
“Yes, please.”
More clatter, and he felt the vibration of a mug hitting the table. Looking up, he saw a medium-sized coffee cup, steam flowing from the cup.
Taking the handle, he splashed himself in the face with it.
“…doesn’t that hurt?” Luna asked with uncertainty.
“The burning sensations of my eyes and flesh is what keeps me awake,” he replied in monotone. “Thanks for the adrenaline boost.”
The alicorn grimaced. “O…kay…but we are taking you to the hospital after this.”
“No.”
“But-“
“Too expensive.”
Twilight gasped. “But…where’s the sixth element?”
Luna laughed and laughed, pointing at the stones in a taunting manner. She stomped the ground, the stones shifting and shattering. Twilight mouth gaped, a look of shock crossing her face.
“You little foal!” the alicorn grinned before her ears flattened. “‘Fool.’ I’m supposed to say ‘fool.’”
She cleared her throat. “You little foal—foal? I mean fool!”
The director chuckled off-screen. “Take your time!”
Luna cleared her throat. “You little fuck.”
“Applejack, who assured me when I was in doubt, reprezents—reprezent?” Twilight stumbled on her words. “I mean represents!”
“Once more.” The clapboard clamped down again.
“Applejack, who reassured me when I was in doubt, repepe—represents! Gah!” She stomped her hoof in frustration.
“Take all the time you need.”
***
“Fluttershy, who t—ACK,” Twilight choked, coughing. “C-choked on my sp-pit.”
A glass of water floated towards her, and the unicorn snatched it quickly, gulping down the contents.
“Ahh,” she sighed, relieved. “Thank you for not letting me die.”
***
“Pinkie Pie, who banished fear by giggling in the face of danger—“
“To be honest, I feel like giggling at actual danger would be a death sentence,” the aforementioned mare said absentmindedly, to which Twilight glared.
Pinkie blinked at her, realization dawning on her face. “…didn’t mean to say that out loud.”
“Cut!”
***
“Rarity who calmed a meaningful serpent with a sorrowful gif—fuck,” Twilight facedhoofed, groaning. “Mixed up the words again.”
The director’s voice came from behind the camera. “You are almost there, Twilight. After this, we’ll take a lunch break.”
“Noted,” Twilight called. “Let’s try this one more time.”
***
“And Rainbow Dash, who could not abandon her friends for her heart’s desire, represents the spirit of,” Twilight gave a dramatic pause, smirking. “Being a fucking decent being.”
“Cut! Not the line,” the camera pony said.
“I know, but I messed every other line I had, so might as well continue the trend.
Posing dramatically, the actresses waited with their eyes closed. They were hanging from the ceiling, wires suspending them in the air. Behind them was one big green screen.
“How much longer?” Rainbow whispered, twitching as the minutes went on
“Shh,” Rarity replied.
Somewhere off camera, a click could be heard, and the wind blew in the direction of the six ponies. Their manes reacted, waving.
That wasn’t the only thing to move, however.
The six of them started to sway in the breeze as well.
“Okay, I really don’t think this is safe,“ Rainbow started up again, sealing her fate. The wires that suspended her snapped, throwing her onto the floor.
“Oof!” she mumbled.
“You okay?” Twilight turned slightly, which made her wires snap as well. “Shit!” she cursed when she hit the floor.
One by one, the actresses fell to the floor, each having produced a different noise when they fell.
“All alright, what dominos curse is in place right now?” Rainbow muttered.
“Oh thank goodness!” Rarity exclaimed, getting to her hooves. Her once cut tail bounced slightly with her abrupt movement.
“Why, Rarity,” Fluttershy started as she trotted up to the unicorn, “it’s so lovely.”
“I know!” She shook her tail, only for it to detach and fall to the ground.
“C-cut!” came the director's voice as everyone started to laugh. “Let’s try this again.”
“Can’t we find a different solution to this?” Rarity asked, raising an eyebrow. “I feel like the tape is pretty flimsy.”
“Any better ideas? Wait for an entire month for it to grow back?”
She opened her mouth, but nothing came out. She frowned. “…touché.”
“Gee, Twilight,” Applejack smiled awkwardly. “I thought you were just spouting a lot of hoOey—“
She coughed, hitting her throat a few times. “Sorry. Voice crack.”
Another sigh came off-screen. “Take two.”
“Action!” the director announced, clamping down the clapboard.
“Indeed you do,” Celestia's voice emitted from off-camera. The camera turned to face to follow the sound, bright light enveloping the ruin’s wall.
A large, bright bulb was lifted from the nearby window, looking like the sun. Magic made it look blinding, concealing the white alicorn as she appeared in front of the camera.
Celestia spread her wings wildly, looking commanding. Her wings may have stretched a little too far, as the next thing she did was stumble.
Her legs went this way and that, trying to regain her balance as the other ponies stifled their giggles.
“First scene with me on screen and the first thing I do is trip,” she grumbled, which made them laugh even more. “Celestia, why are you like this?”
“Alright, the last sentence of this episode, and it goes to me,” Pinkie said to no one in particular. “It’s a long one, so let’s hope I don’t die by the end of this.”
She took a deep breath, waiting.
The clapboard clapped. “Action!”
“Are you excited? ‘Cause I’m excited. I’ve never been so excited. Well, except for the I went,” she gasped, before continuing. “But I mean really, what could be more exciting than this?”
“Aaaaand cut! You did good,” the camera mare complimented.
Pinkie pumped her hoof in the air. “First try! Okay, now can I drink my questionable liquids?”
The actresses sat on and around a small couch, relaxing after long days of work. Most came out uninjured, while the ones that were only had minor scrapes.
“That went well, all things considered,” Luna murmured, sipping her tea.
“Speak for yourself,” Twilight countered, rubbing her back. “My spine feels like an old mare’s…”
All the actresses, aside from Celestia and Luna, murmured in agreement. Rarity piped up from the ground. “I’m a little envious of you,” she admitted to the alicorns. “Having the big, important role was a little more tedious than I expected.”
“Trust me, you don’t want my role,” Celestia laughed. “I’m only gonna show up at, like, the end of the episodes.”
Luna huffed. “As far as I know, I’m not even gonna be here the rest of the season!”
They chuckled at the darker pony’s plight, which only made her pout. As the laughs died down, Applejack turned to look around the room.
“Where is Spike?” she asked. “He’s supposed to be here with us, is he not?”
“He told me that he wanted to talk to the director about something,” Twilight shrugged. “I don’t remember why, though.”
***
“Look, I’m just saying if we are going to do plenty slapstick with Spike the character, can we at least get me a stunt double?”
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Pinkie questioning the logical abilities of others? That’s something you don’t see everyday.
Gold.
Spike, Spike, Spike... there is no chance in Equestrian Tartarus that will happen
Do we want to know about the questionable liquids or are we better off not knowing?
Poor Lulu
Yeah and that suck maybe because she trying to recover after been as nightmare moon but still it would been nice to see how she been doing during season 1 then make her appear in season 2 again
10863935
My mind is blown 🤯
Oh man I will love this story it’s only two chapters long
Yeah seriously he his a kid for goodness sake
I really like the behind the scene like what they did in the Equestria girls movies when they did like outtakes keep up the good work 😊
I love it! Great job on the new chapter!
Great job on the humor!
Rate of funny; 10/10
Defiantly?
You don't mean definitely, do you?
Really? That makes sense?
That I can agree with.
What does she mean by that?
10864336
It can mean whatever you want it to mean
Oh, if only. Great chapter, CitreneSkys!
Pony PG-13? Yes please! I really hope G5 has some elements of that.
What about when Twilight said "Kill" during Winter Wrap Up?
Excellent job on this latest chapter. Absolutely adoring the "behind the scenes" humor here. I can definitely understand all these frustrations.
And, yeah, I COULD see the child actors pointing out that, yeah, it's cool if the adults are comfortable with doing their own stunts (assuming they have the training to do them), but if any kids got hurt, the lawsuits and bad press would definitely hurt the show. So the kids (such as Spike and the Crusaders) SHOULD be allowed the use of stunt doubles.
One of the "Bridle Gossip" bloopers could include Twilight calling her friends a bunch of racist flankholes for allowing themselves to be terrified of a zebra. Or one of the actors pointing out that the entire town (including most of the Mane Six) being afraid of a zebra DOES seem way too racist.
One of the bloopers for "Winter Wrap-Up" could include Twilight and Spike having a dialogue about the no unicorn magic rule sounding WAY too tribalist with Twilight admitting that it was literally the only way the writers could think of to keep her from wrapping this up in three minutes and the director commenting about how, while Twilight IS right, they need to stick to the script.
One of the "Swarm of the Century" bloopers could involve the gang asking Pinkie why she hates the Parasprites so much and how she knows so much about them, with Pinkie starting into a flashback into her fillyhood , but the director cuts at that point and tells the actors that this is only a half-hour episode and admitting that "While a whole episode flashback explaining how you know so much about the Parasprites sounds a lot better than what the writers came up with, they need to stick to the script".
Of course, I have to respect that this is your series and you have every right to do things how you want to do them.
Either way, I'm definitely looking forward to more of this.
10863980
For what it’s worth, her not having to play any part in front of the camera doesn’t mean she can’t still be around for the behind-the-scenes scenes. We’ll see.
Oh man, great job on this one. Got a lot of good material. Just be aware, with the frequency that you use profanities, if one of the mods jumps in here don't be surprised if they ask you to up this to an M rating.
YOU SPENT NINE-HUNDRED-SIXTY-SEVEN DOLLARS ON ROOM SERVICE???
I'm guessing you meant 'momentarily'?
And 'eagerly'?
She's gonna interrupt every scene now, isn't she?
That's what fandom is for.
10864987
Hm. I’ll tone it down in the rest of the story chapters
10865016
That may not be a bad idea, but the 'problem' with doing that is that the supposed kid-friendly characters' actors using profanities when they screw up is one of the things that makes it funny (apologies if that comment came off as the wrong kind of critique). What I could suggest is, after a producer/overseer (whichever person plays that role, I dunno) hears them cursing too much and yells at them that this is a kids' show, the actors try to censor or cut themselves off when they catch themselves doing it ("Ah, fu— uh, fudge"). Of course, they'll slip sometimes, so you could potentially have someone in the back yell, "KIDS' SHOW!" every time it happens.
Just a thought. *shrug*
I found out that I was doing the great injustice of forgetting to track this story. I have remedied that.
I mean, I haven’t seen some of these episodes in years and I still find this hilarious. But, I mean, an excuse to watch MLP again isn’t really a bad thing.
This would be interesting
Isn't Luna like super rich or something? (along with her sister of course)
im actually quite depressed Luna Doesn't get much time in the actual show but oh well.
Funnily enough, both of the Elements of Harmony guidebooks say "death" or "die" somewhere.
Ok now I have to rewatch that scene
Did that happen!!!?
This scene was always stupid.
She could have told her to let go and that she gets caught!
If twi was not sure if those strangers can support her weight or what... Fine
But AJ made it a secret for no reason....
:<
Exactly!!!
Actors pay for their own make-up? Someone call their agent!
Ps. Costed. Cost?
Dave tempered with the script...again!
......... That's too true......
May not have been as funny, but they felt more like actual bloopers that you'd actually see. The chapters don't all have to be masterpieces.
This is gold.
Best part of this chapter, hooves down.
Imagining Luna saying that had me dying for a couple minutes.