2 - Enchanted
Chapter Two
Enchanted
Why did I do that?
“Don’t think about it.”
I’m not usually like this.
“Stay focused.”
Why did I pull the lever?
“Keep it together!”
A cacophony of sounds followed Trixie’s outburst, rebounding off the walls of the school auditorium’s backstage area, as her startled bandmates dropped the various containers they had been carrying. Fuschia Blush yelped a quick apology and got to gathering her equipment off the floor. Lavender Lace, however, had always been the more irritable of the pair.
“Hey Trix, mind getting your life together? We have a show to get ready for!”
“Trixie is doing just fine, thank you very much,” she responded, doing her best to keep her tone even. “You’d do much better focusing on your own affairs than worrying about mine.”
Lavender raised her eyebrow and Trixie decided it would be better to not face her bandmate at that particular moment, in the interest of still needing said bandmate for the next few hours or so. Not being able to see her did not stop her from being able to hear her, however.
“Right. Well, the talking to yourself thing was weird ten minutes ago, it’s scary now, and it’s not helping you pack your gig bag, is it?”
Trixie looked at her still opened bag, and the random assortment of wires and picks still scattered across the backstage area floor.
I hate it when she has a point, she grimaced, before making a noncommittal sound in response while still refusing to turn around.
“Thought so. Look. Your guitar is packed up and we have enough stuff for at least a sound check. We can head to the amphitheater and take care of it. Why don’t you stay here and meditate, or whatever it is you do, and then meet us there in a few minutes when you’re more ready? We kind of need you at your best and this ain’t it.”
Lavender then gave her a moment to think of her answer, during which Trixie’s mind normally would be filled with snarky retorts at being spoken to in such a manner. Instead, that moment was filled with images of the Rainbooms falling down a trapdoor and by the question that had been hounding Trixie ever since that moment.
Why did I do that?
Being given the time and solitude to sort out her thoughts became much more agreeable to her at that moment.
“Trixie finds this acceptable,” she said, begrudgingly. “She will meet you there.”
Though she did not turn around, she could hear the sounds of her bandmates gathering their stuff and heading out of the room, though not before one of them placed a hand on her shoulder.
Probably Fuschia, Trixie wagered, making a note to thank her when she was in a better mood.
Before too long she heard the door open and then close. Then there was silence, and it was at this point that she finally allowed herself to turn around. With slow steps she walked to the middle of the backstage area, dragging her gig bag behind her, and upon reaching it she gently sat on the floor. A deep sigh escaped through her lips.
It seems like we’re doing this, she thought, scanning her surroundings as she had done countless times before. The familiar sights of the lamps, the curtains, and the props table brought a sense of calm to her stress-filled heart. Might as well be here of all places.
Trixie was a performer, yes, but more than that she was a magician. That meant days of practice, months of rehearsal. Every minute on a stage showing off a trick was the result of hours backstage, learning and practicing the trick until she could showcase it on a whim. When the music room was taken, it had been the obvious choice to host her band.
And now it will help me solve another problem once again.
Closing her eyes she saw the Rainbooms falling through the trapdoor, saw herself pulling the lever that triggered the mechanism, ensuring her act would be the band performing at the finals.
Why did I do that?
Trixie was not blind to her own flaws. She knew she could get carried away sometimes and she certainly had a thirst for fame and glory. And here was a music competition where she had a chance to be crowned a winner, a chance to perform in front of hundreds of people, and really show what she could do. Surely that was answer enough?
So why does it feel wrong?
It was too simple, Trixie figured, and nothing had been simple as of late.
For one thing, it left too many other questions unanswered. If all she cared about was winning, why had she gone after the Rainbooms and not the Dazzlings? Why had she never resorted to outright cheating before? She certainly could have tried something like Sunset had done during the Spring Fling. But she hadn’t, so why here? Why had she gotten so upset? She may be a lot of things, but she was not a sore loser. And, possibly most pressing of all, why did she care at all?
Trixie stopped to consider that last question for a moment.
She loved music and was a great musician because of it, her guitar skills were proof enough of that, but Trixie’s greatest passion would always and forever be that of magic. She hadn’t even had a band a few weeks ago when the event had been a musical showcase instead of a battle of the bands. In fact, the only reason she even decided to join in the first place had been…
“Adagio!”
Shooting to her feet, Trixie began playing back the events from the past few days, her racing mind putting together a puzzle she had been too distracted to even notice needed to be solved until now. Adagio was the key to all the weirdness that had been happening, she just knew it, and as the pieces fit around her a picture began to form.
Why did I resort to cheating?
Trixie thought back to that announcement, when the Dazzlings and the Rainbooms were announced as the finalists. Adagio had been there, a gentle hand on her shoulder and sympathetic words on her lips.
“The Rainbooms don’t deserve to be in the finals,” she had said. “Not when your band was so much better in the semis.”
Trixie could still feel the pressure from her touch, even now–an encouraging warmth that led to the actions that followed.
Why did I go after the Rainbooms?
That was Adagio too. She thought back to their first conversation where they made plans to meet in the finals. Not to mention the Rainbooms not earning their spot, which is something Adagio pointed out as well. Of course Trixie targeted them. As for why she got so upset...
“Because I would disappoint Adagio,” Trixie said simply.
Wait.. That’s not right.
Trixie’s voice had sounded foreign in her ears, as if spoken by a stranger. And yet, those had been her words and it had been she who had said them.
“Because I want to win,” Trixie said, loudly and desperately, a slight echo bouncing back at her. It sounded staged. She would know.
Do I even want to win?
Thinking back she noticed that all her plans for the competition ended with her sharing the stage with the Dazzlings, with little thought to what came after.
A tremor began to grow through her limbs as a cold realization began to take root. She began to pace.
Okay, so you seem to really like Adagio, Trixie thought rapidly. That’s fine, maybe she hasn’t noticed. You can still salvage this and maybe still be friends? Just figure out when this started and how far your fixation goes so you can control it before it gets more out of hand.
Trixie stopped her pacing for a moment as a memory resurfaced that caused her to chuckle.
And to be fair, it’s not like you’re the only awkward one, she thought with a smile. She straight up gave you an autograph…
That thought brought Trixie’s mind to a complete standstill. Then it began to spiral out of control.
I kept that autograph. I’m fixated on her. I just wanted to perform on the same stage as her. I didn’t want to disappoint her. The hand on my shoulder. The words of praise. Willing to cheat. The embarrassment. No—
Trixie dropped to her knees as her thoughts continued to ramp up in speed.
It really wasn’t embarrassment. I was blushing. I was frozen. I was– I am– I am...
Trixie scrunched up her eyes and she felt that same familiar heat rising in her cheeks. She knew what this all meant. She understood what it all added up to. And yet, it was still such a huge step for her to say out loud.
Memories from a much younger Trixie flashed through her mind as the familiar panic began to set in. A racing mind. A galloping heart. Loud voices. Yelling. Crying. Confusion.
You’re not that child anymore, she reminded herself, you know what to do.
First she took deep breaths as a way to slow her heartbeat and center her thoughts. The thrumming in her ears lessened and she realized she’d been gasping for air. The hectic memories gave way to calmer ones, of her dad holding her in a much too big house, one they would manage to make feel like home again. Trixie then opened her eyes, which had begun to water under the revelation she had yet to vocalize, but which still felt so real to her regardless.
This too was familiar in a way. Though much older, this was not the first time her identity had been challenged. She remembered the fear and trepidation, but tried to keep in mind the happiness that had followed. She clutched tightly onto the hem of her sleeve as if it held those memories woven within its fabric.
Finally, she opened her mouth and, with a shaky voice, she breathed a new truth into the world.
“I’m.. gay?”
Like a newborn truth, it was shaky and uncertain, but it was out there and once out there it began to grow and take root. The deep breaths continued as she savored the way it sounded in her ears, the way it tasted on her tongue. Trixie thought back to the last few weeks and allowed herself a sheepish smile at how obvious this seemed in retrospect.
“I’m gay,” she said again, with a bit more confidence. “And I have a crush on Adagio.”
She let her head collapse into her hands.
This is going to take some adjustment.
Trixie thought back through her life for any other signs she may have missed, anything that may have clued her in to this part of her identity, but came up short.
I guess I’ve always been more focused on magic and performing, she thought ruefully. No time for romance or feelings or crushes, so no reason to think I wasn’t straight. And then you had to come along, lucky me.
Feeling fidgety, Trixie reached into her hidden dress pocket and pulled out her deck of cards, which she began to fiddle with as she thought.
Okay, so what does this change? she mused. I guess I’m going to have to come out to people. Or, I guess, come out to people again...
She frowned, drew the Jack of Spades, and put it back into the deck.
I mean, I had to come to terms with the trans thing and everyone was supportive then, Trixie thought. Even as she did though, memories of a woman walking away as she watched from a window quickly flashed across her eyes. Or most of them at least. But yeah, dad should be supportive, so should my friends. I hope. Ugh—I really thought I was done with worrying about what people think. I swear, it never ends. What else?
Queen of Diamonds.
I guess I might start getting other crushes as well. Might start dating too. That’s normal for high schoolers to care about right? Might have to deal with people caring about being me gay too, if I’m dating someone and they know about it. But things are getting better so maybe not...
Seven of Clubs
Or maybe I’ll be too busy. Not like I’ve cared about dating until now anyway. Which just leaves me with what to do with Adagio.
Ace of Hearts.
Trixie stared at the card for a good minute as she tried to sort out her feelings for the girl and realized just how out of her depth she truly was. She’d never had a crush before, never felt like this before, and on top of that she was trying to reimage an entire component of her identity.
That’s certainly more than she could hope to accomplish in—
“Fifteen minutes!” Trixie shouted, looking at the clock mounted on the wall. In one fluid motion she collapsed her deck of cards and pocketed it in her dress. She then set about quickly collecting all of her stuff and shoving it into her gig bag. “Ah, I wasted so much time!”
Giving one last look at the room before leaving, Trixie noticed that in her shock and hurry she had dropped one card onto the floor. She swiftly walked back into the room to pick it up—the Ace of Hearts.
She still didn’t know what to do about Adagio. She still didn’t know how to handle things moving forward.
But I did figure something out, didn’t I?
“I have a show to perform at,” she whispered to herself. “Everything else can wait until after that is over.”
And so it was that she stepped out the door, but not before saying:
“Besides, Adagio will be there.”
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Bitch me too you ain't special
10867652
Ok everyone, go home. This is the best comment on the site. We’re done here.
AAAAAAAAAA
okay so i didnt know this was updating daily and i didnt go on fimfic yesterday other than for a quick glance at something but holy shit yes!
Trans trixie AND gay trixie? hell yes. i love this chapter because we just get a lot of trixies thoughts and inner dialogue and her figuring herself out again which i think is really cute.
her saying "im gay?" out loud had me smiling because thats so freaking cute.
god this pretty much met my expectations as for how awesome it is! hell yeah! cant wait for what i assume will be the final chapter, i love this
10868424
I’m glad that you’re so excited
I hope the final chapter lives up to your expectations.
A minor point but it was Trixie's band mate that pulled the lever after Trixie snapped her fingers. Unless... Wait, if Trixie thought that her snapping HAD pulled the lever! Okay I'll believe that she thinks that. Also this works better when phrased as a direct result of Trixie. And Trixie had other things on her mind.
Guessing that should be either one full stop or three, after 'Wait'.
(Unless this is meta commentary on typos ; with a typo on the line that says 'that's not right'.)
Good stuff. Liked the brief amount of character that you gave the band mates (I didn't even know they had names to be honest, then again some fans REALLY like Trixie).
10869712
No meta commentary I’m afraid. I’m just a hack that finds it more aesthetically pleasing to use “..” instead of the full grammatically correct “...” when writing. My proofreaders catch most of them, but some still slip by. There’s also one when Trixie first admits she’s gay, but shhhhhh.
Ah, a useless disaster lesbian. How perfect. Trixie saying "I'm gay?" to herself was probably one of my favorite things I've read in a while.
10870528
Is there any other kind?
In all seriousness, Trixie is so much fun to write. She can do such extra moments but then show so much fragility. I love how flexible she can be.
No need to explain yourself.
Trans Trixie was an idea from waaaaay back as early as Season One.
We heard the original Boast Busters storyboard featured the magician as a stallion instead of the mare we ended up getting. Some fic writers and other fans ran with the idea, and it resurges in popularity every every now and again.
Thanks for sharing your take on it.
I'm enjoying your writing.
10891126
I’m glad you’re enjoying the story ^_^
And yeah, I know how popular the trans Trixie thing is. I just did the author note because writing a trans story is, like, the only thing I was ever (marginally) known for and when Krickis told me about Trixie there was a funny moment of:
“Oh? So, of course, you’re giving her to me then.”
“....I swear it’s not on purpose.”
And annoying too.
Because you were under a spell. 😒
Looking back at that scene in general I always question why that stage even have a trap door to begin with?
I do find her a loser at times tbt.
Ok, half of if I saw coming, but the crush, nope!
This is some really good drama. :D
But also this is hilarious XD