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Ah say, ento pi, alpha mabi upendi, in comma coriyama, in comma coriyama, hey, high, say bye-bye! (Profile Pic by Ask-Pinkie-Polkadot-Pie)


Spike has requested a story. Twilight knows children occasionally have feelings they don't have words for yet. Stories can supply those words. Most of the time.

Night Vale has no relevance to this story. I just like the song.

Originally posted on Reddit. Proofread by Casketbase77

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 8 )


i harlan knew 'er

Betsy #3 · 1 week ago · · ·

Wh-what? I really liked the story but at the same time I’m really confused :applejackconfused:

Good good.

With that Story name combined with the Chapter name, I can already say 20 out of ten. Eighty out of ten. I love a good reference to I Have no Mouth and I Must Scream .

My solipsism, my solipsism. Ah ahh AHHH AHHHHH...

The first third of this fic is stuffed with loaded lines that read differently after the reveal Acorna is a clingy reality warper with responsibility issues.

”Seems so long since we’ve been able to hang out.... it makes the rain more bearable.”

”Weather Pegasi must really hate their jobs.”

”I tend to prefer nonfiction!”

That last line is particularly screwy in the context of this story’s premise. Doubly screwy in the context of this story being written as noncanon fanfiction of a fantasy show.

The meat of the narrative is, of course, Acorna recounting her life’s story. The ending of the fic implies she controls not only Spike’s environment, but his actual thoughts and desires as well. The lines are blurred whether she’s confessing to a genuinely interested other creature, or a hand puppet shaped like a baby dragon. Perhaps it doesn’t matter how much of Spike is “real.” Like Acorna, function is more important than form.

A good story about sapient AI blurs boundaries between things spiritual and material. It’s nice contrast then, to use your signature snapback scenes where the narrative whiplashes back and forth between past and present, urgency and calm, apprehension and regret. The “most polite apocalypse ever” is a very Twilighty decision. See my comnet on SunSunSun in the Graybles for the importance of faithful characterization in a very alien fic premise.

”As long as it’s a good story, it doesn’t matter if it’s fake.”

Would've been a good name for the fic right there, though the one you went with wears it's pop culture influence with pride. Spike’s biting response of “you’re no better than the comic writers” reads very differently depending on the aforementioned ambiguity whether he’s a hand puppet or not.

At this point, almost everything in the fic is ethereal and none of it can be confidently latched onto by the reader. So you wisely give us a glimpse into Acorna’s past. Being flogged by her equine side’s guilt and her robot side’s computation errors is beautifully summarized in her wanting to cry but lacking the parts to do so. Her distress is so vividly cloying, naked and pathetic. My man’s sixth rule is in full effect here.

The climax of the fic is shown in retrospect: Acorna discarding her old name and embracing “Twilight.” Call it a rebirth, call it an Angel Gets It’s Wings moment, call it a computer program deleting its destructive identity and embracing a creative one. The bottom line is it’s a big step for the protagonist's sense of self worth. To better oneself for the sake of others is the greatest of all possible virtues. If a soulless machine can do it, then the implication is there’s hope for even the most morally bankrupt of mortals.

I indulged this a little bit in my initial DM response, but screw it, some things are worth reiteration: Acorna finds no comfort in her robot side’s rationality nor her equine side’s love, so she looks to the uncertain future for answers. This weary but hopeful determination matches the mood of Aldia’s There Is No Path path at the end of Dark Souls 2. Understand that Aldia is one my favorite fictional characters of all time, so any comparison I make to him is platinum-plated praise.

And hey, this Snippet even has a denouement where we get Spike’s most barbed lines in the entire fic: “As long as I’m with you, it’s bearable.... Love you, sis.” Is it meant to be a genuinely tender moment, or a terrible gut punch that accentuates Acorna’s hubris? The answer depends on the reader. Specifically, how much of an optimist or a cynic they are. The story makes it very clear Acorna is no saint, but she’s far from the monster she was originally programmed to be. Stealing Spike was the most selfish thing she could have possibly done with her powers. Keeping him was the most selfless. It’s a dizzying, emotional, complex story hiding deep melancholy beneath sardonic quips.

In other words, it’s a Str8aura Snippet. Very nicely done.

HA, BITCH! I've tricked you, none of your criticisms make sense because i already fixed them! suck on that!

Talk about a WHAM ending!

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