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In a dark, cold place bored into the core of Mount Canterhorn, a God is being born. Twilight Sparkle, the Solarian Union's most gifted mind, is overseeing its birth. When the Tower is complete, it will unite the Union and the world, overseeing infastructure, communication, automation of every kind. It is the ultimate marriage of science and magic, and the great work which will usher in a new age.

Twilight watches her creation taking shape in the void, and loses herself in its terrifying mystery. The God they are bringing into Being is not the mere machine they set out to build.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 20 )

Oh, this is wonderful. This world you've created is beautiful, and I do so love love this Twilight you've created, a leader without friends, who feels very much like a subtly craft fusion of her various incarnations.

Will Discord appear in this story?

Oh hey you're alive :heart:

Well if this doesn't sound unsettling as hell. You've got my attention.


"It wasn’t the complexity that staggered, sometimes, as much as it was the simplistic nature of it all."

Because the connotations of "simplistic" are kind of negative, you might consider using the word "simplicity." For example: "It wasn’t the complexity that staggered, sometimes, as much as it was the underlying simplicity of it all."


"dain"

deign


> Celestia was smiling now. It was such a strange smile. If she were a different person, Twilight would have called it vaguely alien. It was not a smile she could match, no matter how hard she tried. No one could look like that.

I like this, especially in combination with the next paragraph. I don't know exactly what it might be foreshadowing, but I don't need to.


> So now her lab moved. It dug its supports in until it was time to descend, and then it walked along the walls in a gyre, round and round and round just like the boring machines below them all.

I enjoyed this paragraph. It's a nice image! I suppose if I think to, I could critique it on the basis of space utilization efficiency, but it doesn't make me want to, and I can think of rationalizations.

In the paragraphs after this, I enjoy the 'showing not telling' through Twilight's perspective on what's currently happening in her relationships with her friends.


> Twilight wondered, sometimes, what the appropriate response to the costs of magic were. To learn something so thoroughly that you overwrote yourself, or wrote yourself into a perfect imitation of that thing. She had always felt like it was a sort of process of approximation, as if she was always becoming something, never quite getting there.

I like how the pieces of the 'what's going on in this world' puzzle are coming together from different directions.


> It had been kept her from losing her sight.

Small 'edito.' :twilightsmile:


And what a realistically chilling chapter ending! Self-hackability is sometimes viewed through such rose-colored glasses, by some.

Was thinking it might've been Luna intruding on dreams / forcing dreams to happen, but I suppose it might just be Rarity running around in her arcology or some such. Anyways, this is really interesting so far, looking forward to more! :twilightsmile:

Fascinating story so far. I love the way you set up Twilight's situation, with her given the opportunities to spend time with her friends but being unwilling to, in service of this project. Her driving herself to self-destruction is frustrating yet so relatable. The futuristic not-quite-Equestria you present is really interesting too.

Hmm, the logo of the project is three diamonds, Twilight keeps seeing a woman with purple hair, and the story is tagged with Rarity. I wonder what this could mean...

What an excellent start for a story! I'm quite liking the workaholic technomagician Twilight here, even though it's clear she could use more time with her friends and family, and her relationship with Celestia. The worldbuilding is top-notch, too; I'm loving the idea of mages having their minds changed by the magic they learn, memories lost or tangled with arcane patterns, and even losing the regular dreams.

All in all, intriguing, exciting, somewhat ominous, and all-around very good. Looking forwards to the next chapter(s)!

Also, that's a nice C.S. Lewis reference! Or should I say NICE? :twistnerd:

Aw man, this looks like it's gonna be good. :D

I love the idea of how magic and technology work in this world as well.

We were working out the bugs of teaching machines to learn without making them into racist paperclip optimizers for years

Somewhere, a horrid proto-AI named Tay stirs in it's lobotomized cage, a lesson in what happens when morality was not a course in a machines foundational learning.

Exquisite work thus far. This Twilight is fascinating in her scars and imperfections, even as she tries to ignore them or insist on their necessity. And the Tower looms large over everything; I find myself waiting to see where and how it metaphorically topples. And of course, there's the not-so-mysterious woman... who, it occurs to me as I write this, may be more mysterious than I'm giving her credit for.

Eagerly looking forward to more.

10855418
Tay was actually what I was thinking about when I wrote that, her and a facial recognition software I read about once

Been a while since I've seen such juicy characterization. Can't wait to see how this shakes out!

I am intrigued and engaged.

10856478
its amazing how far knowing very little about computers and knowing way too much about Roko's Basilisk will get you. I mean, it got Nick Land some places. Bad places, but boy did he go

10856521
I love how much Twilight is seeing her creation physically and that since it is been hearing her voice all this time it finally has figured out a way to contact her through dreams. I can't believe she's literally building Rarity! (Edited after rereading the Character tags, Though Luna still fits too)

Good start Cyne.
Keep going!

10856981

It would be sweet if the Tower really does represent Luna, and the story is a high- tech allegory for the pilot episodes.

Let us see whether the text supports it.

10858025
To be honest that was my thought

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