Accidentally In Yeet

by Gay For Gadot

Wallflower Blush Yeets Herself Off A Parking Deck

"I still can't believe you guys got into CSU!" Rainbow Dash crossed her arms at Sunset. "All I got was a rejection letter."

Walking hand-in-hand with Wallflower, Sunset could only smirk. "Maybe if you actually paid attention in classes besides PE, you would be joining us."

Dash scoffed. "Yeah, whatever."

"No one likes a sore loser, Rainbow Dash." Rarity shared a knowing glance with Sunset, then asked Wallflower, "So, what will you'll be studying here, darling? Botany, is it?"

"Biology with a focus on botany!" Wallflower replied. "And Sunny's gonna be a journalist!"

Sunset squeezed her hand. "Wellllllll, I don't know about that quite yet, Wally. We'll see."

Ever since the "skipping rock incident," Sunset had found it hard to focus on college prep… or anything past the application stage. Getting accepted into Canterlot State University was just the first step. Even being present during today's campus tour was more difficult than it should have been.

All Sunset kept thinking about was the lake. And the tub. And the… "cat."

Lately, Sunset had been reading enough therapy textbooks to make her consider changing majors… If she could begin to worry about such a trivial thing.

"Uh, Sunset? You there?" Wallflower waved a hand in front of her eyes.

"Buh!" Sunset jumped back, almost pulling Wallflower down with her. "S-sorry! Was just a little, uh, distracted!" She pretended to clear her throat. "Heh, heh, sorry about that. Uh, what did I miss?"

"I asked if y'all wanted to join us for lunch," Applejack said. "We're gonna hit up the dinin' hall. You two comin' with?"

Before Sunset could reply, Wallflower jumped up and down, the biggest grin on her face. "Oooh yeah! I saw a sign for a place there that has triple pepperoni pizza! That's like, three times the pepperoni!"

Out of nowhere, Pinkie Pie jumped up between Sunset and Wallflower. "Woohoo! Now that's what I call math!" She slung her arms around both girls. "C'mon, Sunny, what'dya say?!"

"That sounds really good, Pinkie," Sunset said with a nervous glance towards Wallflower, "but I, uh, had a big breakfast."

And I'd rather not stay here longer than we need to, she mentally added. Wally's not herself when she's around the girls. She's way too… happy. Something doesn't quite add up. "How about we just finish up the tour here and get something on the way home?"

"But Sunny! It's triple pepperoni!" Wallflower flailed her arms towards the dining hall. "Triple. Pepper. Oni!" She grabbed Sunset by the shoulders, her eyes widening like the world's most adorable green puppy dog. "Don't you want some?"

"Yeah, Sunny! Don't you waaaaaaaaaant some?" Pouting, Pinkie Pie put on her own perfect puppy dog face.

"Okay, okay!" Stifling a giggle, Sunset raised a hand. "I get it, I get it!" She turned towards Wallflower. "Go and get your triple pepperoni. But be back right after, okay? We still need to finish the tour."

After a quick kiss, Wallflower gave Sunset a mock-salute. "Yes, ma'am!" Then, she bounded off after Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash, the three of them spouting off about the various properties of pepperoni, leaving Sunset, Applejack, Rarity, and Twilight behind.

"You sure you don't want to join us?" Twilight asked. "The dining hall's right by the science wing. We could check it out after!"

"Thanks, Twi, but… I'm sure." Sunset's stomach twisted—and not out of hunger— as she watched Wallflower giggling with the others up ahead. Knowing Wallflower, this was far too much stimulus for one afternoon. The sooner she could get her home safely, the better.

"Alright, suit yerself." With a shrug, Applejack joined the others, followed by Twilight.

Rarity lingered for a moment to reassure Sunset, "Don't worry, we'll be right back. Just wait here, dear."

Taking a seat on a nearby bench, Sunset replied with a half-hearted wave.

---

Five minutes. Ten minutes. Fifteen. All passed with Sunset sitting on the bench, twiddling her thumbs, looking towards the dining hall for any signs of her friends. At the twenty minute mark, regretting having not gone with them, she pulled out her phone and sighed.

I'm sure Wally's fine with the others, she tried to reason, though she didn't quite believe it herself. Maybe I'll check out CSU's website while I wait. Maybe I'll find something there that'll help.

Sure enough, after scrolling past posts about the school's football team and an upcoming charity fundraiser, Sunset found a link called Student Resources. From there was a web of links for anything from financial aid, to student housing, to work-study jobs…

Counseling services! Sunset perked up immediately. And their offices are just down the street. She looked around campus to find said building across the way, near the parking deck. Wally and I technically are already students, so maybe I could go talk to them and set up an appointment for her…

Just as she got up from the bench, excited chatter broke out behind her. Before she could turn around, she was almost knocked off her feet.

"W-Wally!" Sunset returned the hug. "There you are! How was the triple pepperoni?"

"Triple awesome!" Laughing, Wallflower released her girlfriend. "It was sooooo good! Applejack and Rainbow Dash even had a pizza-eating contest!"

Applejack gave a smug grin. "An' I won, o' course."

Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. "Pfffft, whatever. I'm gonna go check out the frat houses."

"Do be careful, Rainbow Dash!" Rarity called after her. "You don't know where those ruffians have been!"

"Whatever!" Dash called back.

Well, glad to see mostly everything is still as it should be. Sunset eyed the brick building on the other side of the campus green. Now to check out that counseling office without Wally knowing...

When Sunset looked up, Wallflower was examining a ladybug resting on the arm of the bench. "Hey, babe?"

"Yeah?" Wallflower replied, not looking up.

"I'll be right back, okay? I need to, uh… go to the bathroom."

Wallflower held out her finger towards the ladybug. "Okay!"

Turning back to the group, minus Dash—and now, Applejack, who headed off, muttering something along the lines of "Dammit, Dash!"—Sunset asked, "Can you guys watch Wallflower for me? I'll be right back!"

Twilight raised an eyebrow in response. "Watch her? For what?"

Sunset shuffled her feet. "W-well, she's— "

"Don't worry, Sunset!" Pinkie Pie jumped up, then stood ramrod straight and saluted. "I'll watch her for ya!"

Always count on Pinkie Pie to get you out of an awkward situation. "Thanks, Pinkie!" With that, Sunset ran off towards the counseling office.

Sunset was about halfway to the building when she remembered something important she had seen while browsing the school website. "Oh, and Pinkie—" Sunset shouted across the green—"the map says there's a fountain nearby, so please don't let Wally near the foun— "

Wally was gone.

" —tain."

Pinkie Pie waved at her. "Okie dokie lokie!"

Sunset went slack-jawed.

"Hey Sunny!" Pinkie giggled. "Your face looks funny!"

After a moment of awkward silence, broken only by the sounds of Applejack and Rainbow Dash arguing in the distance, Sunset finally came to, shouting, "Pinkie Pie! You said you would watch her!!"

"And I did!" Pinkie beamed, then pointed. "I watched her walk over there!"

Following Pinkie's pointing, Sunset's eyes widened in pure, abject terror.

The parking deck.

"WALLY!"

Whatever anger Sunset felt towards Pinkie was channeled in her manic burst of energy as she raced towards the parking deck. The same parking deck where she had parked the Blush family station wagon—now Wallflower's car—that very morning. The same parking deck where their friends had met up with them, laughing, sharing breakfast, hashing out their college plans.

The same parking deck that Wallflower Blush was now climbing. One flight of stairs, two, five.

By the time Sunset made her way over, Wallflower was on the topmost floor. She moved with purpose. With a speed and determination Sunset had never seen before.

Sunset screamed her name over and over, unheard over the growing wind and the shouts of their other friends behind them.

Their other friends. If only Sunset had trusted her instincts. If only she hadn't accepted anything less than perfection from herself. Pinkie Pie meant no harm, but she didn't understand. She didn't understand just how dire things were. And now Wallflower would pay the ultimate price for Sunset's foolishness.

When Wallflower made it to the edge of the parking deck, time froze.

When she started to fall, all Sunset could do was scream.

"WALLY, NO!"

Head over heels, Wallflower fell. Five stories, one after the other, passing by with every heartbeat.

Sunset could only watch. Only watch. She couldn't close her eyes if she tried. She would never forget this. Never forgive herself of this.

Never.

In free-fall, Wallflower looked euphoric. Enlightened by something Sunset could never comprehend. Nothing and no one held her back at last, and it was all Sunset could do to try and remember her beautiful, smiling face one last time, one last time before she—

"Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!"

Wallflower bounced.

On a trampoline.

"Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!"

Sunset closed, then opened her eyes.

Wallflower was bouncing on a trampoline again.

Applejack and Rainbow Dash held the trampoline on opposite ends. Rather than focus on the girl they'd saved, they narrowed their eyes at each other, looking like two vipers sizing each other up before the strike.

"Dammit, Rainbow Dash! Go give them frat boys their trampoline back!"

"No! Finders keepers!" Dash blew a raspberry. "Besides, they weren't using it! They were too busy playing beer pong!"

"Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" Wallflower bounced again. "This is super fun!"

Running past a frozen Sunset Shimmer, Pinkie Pie joined Wallflower on the trampoline. The pair bounced up and down, higher and higher, giggling in unison.

"Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Wow, this is fun!" Pinkie cheered.

Two girls giggled, another two argued, and still two more joined the side of the stone statue known as Sunset Shimmer.

"Are you alright, Sunset?" Rarity laid a hand on Sunset's shoulder, who startled in response.

"Buh!" was all Sunset could reply.

"Whoa! That was quite the fall!" Twilight looked from the rooftop to the ground below, adjusting her glasses. "Good thing Applejack and Rainbow Dash were fighting over the trampoline! Although, I didn't expect Wallflower to follow the lizard that closely."

Sunset's right eyelid twitched. "L-l-lizard?"

On cue, Wallflower got off the trampoline and walked over to Sunset. As she did so, a small, green lizard with a pink throat rushed past their shoes. "Oh, there he goes! Darn it!" Wallflower snapped her fingers. "I would've caught him if it wasn't for that dang banana peel!"

Briefly, Dash looked up from her argument with Applejack. "Sorry, that was me!" She gave a half-hearted shrug, to which Wallflower responded with a quick thumbs-up.

Wallflower's voice sounded far away in Sunset's ears. "B-b-banana peel?!"

"Yup! Once I got to the top, I slipped on a banana peel," Wallflower explained, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "That's why I fell over! I'm sure glad that trampoline was there, though!" She nodded towards Dash and Applejack. "Thanks, guys!"

"AJ, if you're gonna make me give it back, at least let me use the truck!"

"No! I'm not usin' my truck fer yer petty theft!"

"But it has to go back allllllllllllllll the way over there!"

Wallflower giggled, then leaned her head on Sunset's shoulder. "Aren't our friends the best, Sunny?"

No response.

"Er, Sunny?"

Both of Sunset's eyelids twitched as she looked at Wallflower. "You… slipped… on… a… banana… peel."

"Yup!"

"After… running… five stories… after… a… lizard."

"That's right!"

Without a word, Sunset walked away. She went into the parking deck, found Wallflower's car, and unlocked it.

Sitting in the driver's seat, Sunset stared off in the distance… at nothing.

When Wallflower joined her in the passenger seat, snuggled up against her, and started talking about lizards, Sunset continued to stare.

"Oh, by the way," Wallflower said at some point, though Sunset wasn't sure which one, "did you make it to the bathroom?"

"...I need a therapist," Sunset replied.

Comments

[The Sleepless Beholder]

"But Sunny! It's triple pepperoni!" Wallflower flailed her arms towards the dining hall. "Triple. Pepper. Oni!"

Wally, I think you've been around Pinkie too much.

When Sunset looked up, Wallflower was examining a ladybug resting on the arm of the bench. "Hey, babe?"

"Yeah?" Wallflower replied, not looking up.

"I'll be right back, okay? I need to, uh… go to the bathroom."

Wallflower held out her finger towards the ladybug. "Okay!"

Ahhh how is she so cute?!

"...I need a therapist," Sunset replied.

Badly

[Auburn Meadow]

This is comedy GOLD. I have not laughed that much since—well, actually, a lot of fictions on this site are great at comedy. STILL. I’m normally not one for dark comedy but this is just hilarious every step of the way. The fact that there’s so many stories where Wallflower does suffer from mental health issues makes this convoluted premise even funnier, because I’m totally with Sunset here that something’s wrong, but I wouldn’t be surprised if this was all just wacky hijinks. I’ll have to keep reading and see!

[CitreneSkys]

"...I need a therapist," Sunset replied.

Everyone needs a therapist in this world

[MidnightFMare]

Does this girl have no self preservation instinct?

[CapNTilfy]

Always count on Pinkie Pie to get you out of an awkward situation.

Or into, amirite?

[Natedogg2006]

I was figuring this was going to be a case of sunset being the one with the issue. Whether she's just fixated or she's projecting, I'm still not sure. Have faith in the ones you love though sunset

[PresentPerfect]

Every time I get to a new chapter, the cover art makes me laugh. XD It's the funniest shit since Do It Mattered If I Is.

[Bicyclette]

"I still can't believe you guys got into CSU!" Rainbow Dash crossed her arms at Sunset. "All I got was a rejection letter."

Walking hand-in-hand with Wallflower, Sunset could only smirk. "Maybe if you actually paid attention in classes besides PE, you would be joining us."

Dash scoffed. "Yeah, whatever."

i'm sorry but this goes against the canon of not-america where you can go to college if you kick a ball well for some reason? never figured out the worldbuilding for that one

All Sunset kept thinking about was the lake. And the tub. And the… "cat."

just because he did a little flesh-rending doesn't invalidate his cat-ness! mr. snuggles did nothing wrong

"But Sunny! It's triple pepperoni!" Wallflower flailed her arms towards the dining hall. "Triple. Pepper. Oni!" She grabbed Sunset by the shoulders, her eyes widening like the world's most adorable green puppy dog. "Don't you want some?"

"Yeah, Sunny! Don't you waaaaaaaaaant some?" Pouting, Pinkie Pie put on her own perfect puppy dog face.

oh no, now there are two of them

Pinkie Pie waved at her. "Okie dokie lokie!"

thank you for this adherence to pinkie pie canon, really underappreciated this one!

"And I did!" Pinkie beamed, then pointed. "I watched her walk over there!"

i dislike how much this line got me despite being such a well-worn joke, am filing a formal complaint

"Buh!" was all Sunset could reply.

at this point you should really just start calling her buhset shimmer

Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. "Pfffft, whatever. I'm gonna go check out the frat houses."

"Dammit, Rainbow Dash! Go give them frat boys their trampoline back!"

"No! Finders keepers!" Dash blew a raspberry. "Besides, they weren't using it! They were too busy playing beer pong!"

from now on, whenever i need an example to illustrate the principle of Чеховское ружьё, i will point people to this masterpiece of it. with this, you are truly creating Literature.

"Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" Wallflower bounced again. "This is super fun!"

and followed up immediately with this reminder that faced with the anxiety of our own biological finitude, we must find the courage to be, and realize that having fun is part of life. is it possible to be Literature and Poetry simultaneously? i did not think so before this moment

Sitting in the driver's seat, Sunset stared off in the distance… at nothing.

When Wallflower joined her in the passenger seat, snuggled up against her, and started talking about lizards, Sunset continued to stare.

im just imagining this as an ambient animated gif and it is very relaxing

"...I need a therapist," Sunset replied.

#relatable