Based on the Equestria at War universe.
In the year 1011 ALB, Queen Chrysalis declared war on Equestria. She and her High Command believed that the Equestrians would be easily crushed underneath the treads of their tanks and pushed back by their powerful changeling rifles. However, they were quickly proven wrong as their forces met the heavily fortified positions of the Equestrian military. After months of a painful stalemate, the High Command had a brilliant idea. They began deploying infiltrators into the Equestrian fortifications to weaken and surprise the defenders for the oncoming attackers.
One particular changeling was deployed to an Equestrian fortification, weeks in advance. On the promised day, he sits in a trench, waiting for the arrival of his brothers and sisters. But, will they come? And what happens to the mare that he became friends with if they do come?
Now with reading by Fire Hearth Studios!
Special thanks to Witchery for editing!
Interesting concept I must say. However, the pacing was much faster than it should have been. Since this is a one-shot, I can sort of understand that. But honestly I think this could of been flushed out a bit more. Still, I did enjoy this little story. It's a nice glimpse into the battlefield, a closer look than simply looking over the entire country in the game/mod.
I'd say, good job. Again, very fast. But still a nice and enjoyable story.
10853247
I appreciate the praise.
awesome chapter mate keep it up cant wait for the next story when bright smiles and lorum said they love each other this tune came to me
Nice. Would have been funny if everyone knew.
Awwww, this is so sweet! The failed Sabatour and the equestriqn soldier, combing together under the banner if love
This was adorable... And it explains why the Royal Army wins so often. They're too damn cute to oppress.
It also reminds me of a story from World War 1, in which a unit took negative casualties... That is, they came home with more men than they left with! They met and befriended a patrol of Germans on a quiet, boring part of the front who hated their commanding officer, so they crossed the trenches and went home with their former enemies instead.
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If that's not the Equestrian way of waging war, I have no idea what IS.
Not bad kid.
Oh God, I'm in the featured box.
10853845
Lol, welcome to the Hall of Fame, kid.
Really good story, wouldn't mind seeing this expanded, but I can understand of you don't as it might ruin the magic as it were.
i.pinimg.com/originals/f0/a1/50/f0a150cb643ab8e32bb882ac26e7fa08.gif
10853845
For very very good reasons. You sir get a 9/10 for Excellence. It would be higher, but then we'd need more to this story.
10854461
You may get more. While technically complete, it couldn't hurt to expand on some of Lorum's previous endeavors.
This was adorable, great work!
OMG what if, and hear me out on this... chrysalis did this intentionally? she was fighting a losing battle, and needed to save her children from the almighty firestorm that was probably going to head straight to her? she sacrificed her freedom(most likely surrendered and imprisoned for instigating war) to give her changelings time to infiltrate and go changedling within the ponies ranks, turning them good. and if any were still hostile after being discovered(unlikely due to changeling's innate empathy wearing down their prejudice), they wouldnt survive much longer anyway.
Took a quick look at the Equestria at War Wiki, they really should have another expansion with the Storm King's Merchant Empire, Thorax's nation, Abyssia, Kludgetown City State, the Bird People Pirates, and Hypogriffia/Seaquestria.
10854665
The upcoming third continent is going to have those. At least that was the plan. So far we have confirmed:
Mt Aris. Complete with a communist path with Citizen Skystar.
A Dragon nation.
A kirin nation.
As for Thorax's nation, it is already in the game. You either win the civil war in the Changeling lands or after Equestria wins, he shows up as a puppet leader for the defeated changelings.
10853616
This. So much this.
10854707
Well I think he should have his own nation rather than being a puppet leader. Where you can help Thorax over through Chrysalis to form the Changeling Diarchy. With rulership split between Thorax and Phylanx. Creating a line for Chrysalis and her supporters to become terrorist cell gorilla fighters.
10854772
Go down the Thoraxian betrayal path while playing as the Changeling Lands. No diarch but Thorax is in charge.
That was neat and very cute. Like some others, I would have loved to see Lorem and Bright's relationship expanded upon, to watch the build up and the future of their relationship. But at it is, it's very good and I quite enjoyed it.
Keep up the great writing!
10854785
Your not wrong, but I just think that the Changelings deserve more factions. You could have the peace and love Thorax faction, the Facist Phylanx faction, the Changeling Diarchy Faction, the Chrysalis loyalists, and changeling separatist factions.
Thorax on his own is more socialist leaning, but not totalitarian to be communist. Phylanx on his own would be a Facist government, as he's for the hive, but through military strength. With the Changeling Diarchy being a more balanced rule between the two. There would be those still loyal to Chrysalis, forming their own faction around her. Finally you would have the Changeling Separatists, blank factions that do not side with either of them and go their own way. This would include protectorates under the rules of foreign powers.
They are both in so much trouble. He is being traitorous to his people. She is as well for not reporting him. They both have Duty that conflicts with what they want. She doesn’t get to decide to keep him around and he doesn’t get to ignore the mission just because he made a friend.
War is hell.
Excellent writing here. Your story has a lovely, simple atmosphere which is complimented by two charming characters. Everything a short story should be. Of course, it being a well-done military fiction is just icing on the cake for me. Carry on.
There's an Equestria at War universe? Is that like CiV?
10854991
more like hearts of iron 4. look it up. Equestria at War is mod for that game.
It's really interesting that I find this because I'm actually playing the game right now AS Equestria to get familiar with HOI4 as a whole and I can't help but hear the Equestrian infantry soldier's voice when I read Bright smile's dialogue. it actually fits well with this story!
I like where you have ended it as it's simple but well thought out but not gonna lie friend, I was worried that something horrible was gonna happen to Bright or Lorum since this takes place before the Changling Blitz. Yet, I can see them conveniently volunteer as runners to relay a message 1917 style just before their division gets slammed by the changelings.
Short and sweet, I enjoyed it!
I absolutely love this story.
Changelings falling in love and being dum is one of the things i love.
Gotta do the blood-hot needle test! Everypony knows that CHERNGELERNG blood will scream and jump out of the petri dish!!
Daaaaw. We need more!!!
I'm completely blown away at how well this was received. Thank you to everyone who read, commented, and liked.
Edit: And to everyone who favorited it, my inbox is filled to the brim with those notifications.
10856185
best part is you are still at the top of the featured box and this was good enough I just reread this.
Truly astonishing story. Keep it up.
Um, more please?
Incomplete? I think this feels like a good oneshot with an appropriately open ending.
This is so fucking good!
Moar please
10856185
Well, it’s really good. Fairly fast-paced, but it works. I’d really like to see this expanded-seeing him become disillusioned with the Heer and stop believing propaganda, other hijinks like with the artillery piece, what happens if/when the Changelings attack, etc.
Of course, I understand completely if you don’t do any of that. Just giving my two cents.
Good story, but I don't think anyone would want a sequel.
Just another Chrysalis clicked exercise when she noticed units are 99% to regular exp, and emptied the organisation bar.
Wow, this work surely is astonishingly good! Can't wait to see more of it.
Ah an eaw story
Respect
This is amazing!!!!!
Moar.
Can not stop thinking how will it become a tragedy or an unexpected bright future.
10886078
Honestly, I feel like if the other ponies figure it out, they’ll probably shoot him on sight, which I’d understand. As Tup in The Clone Wars said, “Good soldiers follow orders.”
I awww'd.
Good story!
The big event happened faster than I expected, but I still enjoyed reading it.
10853472
The story isn't over yet.
As far as we know everyone might already figured it out. They just liked his company.
10854991
See here for the group:
https://www.fimfiction.net/group/212917/equestria-at-war
And here for the actual mod:
https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=1826643372
10918151
True. Time will tell.
Man, I would love to see more of this universe. Great job on this and getting me interested in so few words.
Absolutely amazing, 14/10. Made me feel good, nice romantic story despite the setting. We require more (:
Reread again. I still want a series based on this.