• Member Since 28th Aug, 2018
  • offline last seen Yesterday

Rainbowfan45


27 year old aspiring writer and avid MLP fan. Also loves coffee, chocolate, cats, books, and playing guitar...in that precise order. Also: FLUTTERDASH IS LIFE . Fight me, I dare you.

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Applejack has been in love with Rainbow for a long time, but she has never told her, too scared to find out how she might feel back.

When tragedy hits and Applejack discovers news that leaves her shaken and determined to make the most of her life, she finally makes her love for Rainbow known, and what follows is sure to be a tragic love story.

Chapters (3)
Comments ( 6 )

This needs a tragedy tag

10852799
From the tag help page:

Tragedy
The literary term “Tragedy” shouldn’t be confused with how the expression of something being “tragic” is used. A sad story is not necessarily a tragedy when in writing. Tragedy involves the downfall or failure of the main character. This, again, does not mean that they die—the tragedy can lie in the failure to achieve something they have worked for through the whole story. The build-up to such a thing and the eventual failure is what the tragedy is.

In short, tragedy is when the protagonist fails, not when the story is merely sad. As the tag help page mentions, this is why a separate Sad tag is provided. This story is sad, but it is not a literary tragedy.

10852820
I meant APPLEJACK DIES, THAT is the tragedy I mean.

I swear my tear ducts are on a hair trigger these days.

10852823
There is insufficient build-up for this story to be considered a tragedy. If you didn't understand the definition, then never mind.

You have very pretty language and it brought across the story well. I really enjoyed the scenes that you have picked out and painted, though I can't help but wish there were more so we could see them actually go through the emotional rollercoaster of finding out you have a fatal disease (especially for a strong character like Applejack). Still, you did a great job with what you did write; what you have here was realistic, touching and sweet.

Other little things:
1) It's spelt either 'leukemia' or 'leukaemia', I think it's pretty important to spell the name of the disease correctly or else it breaks immersion.
2)

Rainbow broke completely at the flatline noise, crying as she held the limp form closer to her, the others in the room finally yielding to their own grief

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