Its been hectic, but Spike has finally settled in as Equestria's inter-species ambassador. His latest (and trickiest) meeting is with an eccentric equine hailing from Discord's dimension. She seems to want help with a personal problem.
I don't write Screwball stories often, since she strains my brain to its creative limit. Let's see if Spike fields her any better than I do.
This is an entry in the Snippet Series, an anthology of old oneshots that I (and my good buddy Str8aura) wrote based around interesting pics I found. New ones will be posted every other Thursday for the foreseeable future.
Chapters (1)
Love the horseshoe thing.
Definitely going to have to reread Screwball’s dialogue.
Lovely story. You might have one of my favorite prose styles ever.
Intrueging, most Intrueging.
HOE
You've always got your Object, be it headphones or a crayon, that connects characters and communicates to the reader where their values lie. Its not often I also get a heaping help of headcanons alongside these knick knacks. For Scootaloo, I'd be more worried about her hooves themselves than her knees, but the others are pitch perfect. I especially appreciate the nod to the long held beliefs on the magical effects metal has, such as copper enhancing its power- which I seem to remember referencing myself in 100 Pounds of Clay.
Back in the day, the common trend before Derpy had her voice was to write her as... well, a complete idiot. Spouting random nonsense, inevitably mentioning muffins through the murk, and I can't say I cared for it at all. This is different- instead of dumping funny words on the page, you clearly put miles of effort into the dialogue to make sure every piece of wordplay and punnery still communicated the characters intent, although maybe I'm biased from reading her dialogue for a lot longer than most. Point is, your Screwball is a better effort than most would give, even if a far cry from the archetypal daughter of Discord.
11349127
Spike skipped the yak entry because the story’s opening already gave the details about them (Yona’s graduation, the request to have Pinkie cater, and the celebratory trashing of their surroundings). This story uses a lot of words, and I didn’t want any redundant ones.
I’m probably gonna yoink your musings about Objects for the discussion threads today. It’s not a complicated trick, really. Just a method of “Show, Don’t Tell.” Hyping up shoes and then revealing Screwball has none hits the reader a lot harder than simply saying “this character is an outsider to her own culture.” Storytelling, at its core, is the delivery information in an interesting way.
Regarding Screwball’s dialogue, her speech sounds chaotic and jumbled, but there’s a very strict structure. Alliteration mixed with extended punny malaphors. And you’re completely correct that the daughter of Discord is a hypocrite for having personal conventions. She’s saturated in chaos, but all ponies have a nugget of Lawful Goodness in them. Screwball’s ponydom manifests in subtle ways.
Spike thought her “isolation” reference was regarding herself. Its not; what worries her is infighting among the three pony tribes. She’s estranged from her kin, but wants them to live well. Spike is the same way towards other dragons in the Gauntlet Of Fire episode. That’s why Screwball enlists his help making the Gen 5 guidance windows.
I like how you actually portrayed Screwball as more of a randomness with some form of chaotic order and not "lol random" that tends to get put onto chaotic beings in these kinds of fics. This was a surprisingly refreshing take, and it has me more interested in these kinds of characters. Thank you for spoiling me so
That was a good story.
Fascinating details with the horseshoes. Scootaloo's orthopedics may be my favorite among them for how much sense they make.
Lovely stuff all around. Spike really is the best there is at helping crazy ponies; he's been doing it for most of his life, after all. And Screwball's task is suitably inverted. It is a historically commemorative project. It's just that the relevant history hasn't happened yet. Thank you for this.
This was pretty neat. I like that Screwball's silly speech, spoken swiftly, matches meaning most marvelous in many methods. That must've taken quite awhile to write!
This just got featured on Equestria Daily!
Heh.
These are brilliant headcanons. A few of the authors I love have touched briefly on horseshoes, but nit quite thus creative. The orthotics for Scootaloo really caught my attention. That's a very practical thought.
Very interesting story. I've been meaning to read more Screwball fics. I enjoyed this quite a bit.
Nifty wordplay in this one. The way Screwball talks reminds me of Lieshy in Songs of the Spheres
*its
*It's
*it's
I assume you left an extra word in there during an edit
The video linked from "facing out from a forgotten cliff-face." says:
That was a fun read!
Clever use of characters here. A sweet little story about outsiders connecting.
this story was metal as fluff
Screwball is just a silly little guy, and your interpretation of her is one of my favourites
Interesting story. I love how detailed you made Spike's job. It's hard to understand Screwball but I very much love her as Discord's daughter. I'm interested to see what else you can do with her.
My guess: she lives in house floating near Discord's
Maybe "to a wall clock"?
Maybe "Then"?
I gotta say
I ship it