• Member Since 5th Jun, 2021
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Acmos


T

Equestria, favored by the attention of the Sisters and inhabited by all sorts of magical talents, has always been famous for the benevolence of its inhabitants. Even to strangers from distant lands, the ponies were ready to treat, getting to know them better, with even a little cute naivety. But when an alien guest invades their lives, who does not obey logic and magic rules, and even has a spectrum of very sinister abilities... Let's face it, even Lyra was not mentally ready for such sort of humans.


Original fanfic in Russian (Оригинал работы на русском языке для заинтересованных): https://ficbook.net/readfic/9231297

By the 06/25/2021 edited chaptes: 1 of 10

Mates, this is a translation of foreign fanfic by Google Translator, my own revisions and (mostly) Max and Rikki, fanfic’s editors. Handling of stupid robot's work in progress.

Also:

This work actively echoes the lore about the internal structure of Alex Mercer from my other Russian-language crossover with Starcraft, "Meeting of the Minds". Yep, it was also named after the work of my very favorite science fiction writer. However, I dare to hope that this will not be an obstacle for the local audience, because the chimerical firmware and other garbage [serving at the same time as an explanation of the abilities of the Evolved and their limiter] are not significant for the plot.

The continuation is expected to be released irregularly - original story already has 10 chapters, more will need translation.

Chapters (10)
Comments ( 28 )

Keep up the good work.

Can't wait to see what you do next

Wow i barley even know what's happening, and that's saying a lot.

Thought Sweetie Belle was wearing a pacifier in that cover at first.

10867158
I'm sorry? Didnt undestand... Is there an auto-translator error somewhere that gives the sentence a false meaning?

10867161
Heh, sorry, i just cant understand your first comment. i know english, but not enough for free talking, and google translate of your comment was... strange.

10867166
It was already in English. I said I had thought Sweetie Belle had a pacifier in the cover art of the story, but then I realized it was a teacup.

10867171
Well, now i undestand you really good) Anyway, sorry for bothering u

might be a good idea to find an editor to help you out with this, not sure how to describe it exactly, but reading it almost feels... stunted maybe? not sure what the exact word is...

Why did you make the chapters so long?

10866923
The English is bad it doesn't make any sense i get a vague idea of what's going on but it just doesn't make any sense.

10867964
Of course it’s bad, it’s Google translate feature

Definately could use some editing, but besides that, you made a good reflection of the CMC on how they would act

М-да... Гугл реально изнасиловал текст. Читать давольно тяжело.

10870774
Оригинал тут если что, он нормальный) https://ficbook.net/readfic/9231297

I can say that this story is definitely worthy of the reader's attention! And as for the corrections made to the text, all this will certainly be.

But one thing I definitely wish for this story: Live and make others happy!

This is extremely tiresome to read and try to make sense of.

I'm really liking this story! I'm kinda mad that it stopped at such a critical moment, but the hell can I do?

I had fun trying to decipher the dialog and descriptions in their google translate english glory!

10877430

This is extremely tiresome to read and try to make sense of.

I couldn't agree more. I'm a university graduate and I also have an extremely good vocabulary from being an avid bibliophile, and even I have trouble following what's going on in this story. Its full of so many doctorate level words that following what's going on takes a lot of time.

I encourage the Translator to study the writing of Ernest Hemingway. Hemingway was one of the greatest writers of the 20th century.

Here is a clip from an analysis of Hemingway style.

One of the main features of Hemingway’s style is his use of short, one, or two-syllable words. In passages from his novels, such as The Old Man and the Sea, readers can find numerous examples of these techniques. The words are easy to understand but when strung together they can create skillful images and lines of dialogue.
Take a look at this line from For Whom the Bell Tolls as an example:

The world is a fine place and worth fighting for and I hate very much to leave it.

This simple sentence is eighteen words long and sixteen of those eighteen words are one syllable in length. The remaining two are only two syllables themselves.
In addition to short words, Hemingway also used short sentences. While this was not always the case, it is true throughout most of his work. When a very short sentence is included alongside longer sentences it is emphasized. Readers might be met with a bit of surprise at the brevity of a phrase and know intuitively that it’s more important.
He also chose to do away with extraneous adverbs and always chose the simpler word over the harder word. The latter is part of the reason why readers often feel as though Hemingway’s characters speak like real people.

Full Article Here

Hemingway was once challenged to write an entire, complete story in one short sentence. He did it in 6 words.

For sale: baby shoes, never worn.”

This was translated from Russian, and I get the feeling that it was translated by a University Professor of Classic English Literature. The kind that always wears a red smoking jacket and the fingerless gloves and stays in the gloomiest parts of the rare books' section of the university library restricted section.
😎
The Monk

Don't get me wrong, this is not a bad story, and I very much want to see much more from this Author.
The Authors writing style reminds me of H.P. Lovecraft in many ways. But even Lovecraft kept his word choices mid-tier and mostly common use.

The Monk

10935411
This story is not yet fully translated by a human, as it was mostly done by Google Translate (~75% of it). But there is a probability that all the next chapters will be converted to English manually, as Acmos has not yet posted here two that came out in Russian this week.

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