Pinkameena Diane Pie, Element of Laughter, Party Pony, Bestest Friend Ever, 974 A.B. -- 1 A.R.
"Don't cry for me; laugh instead!"
Entry for the Reunions Role-swap contest.
Chapters (1)
- Member Since 3rd May, 2021
- offline last seen Yesterday
RangerOfRhudaur
Nai hiruvalye Valimar, nai elye hiruva; namarie!
RangerOfRhudaur
Joined 3rd May, 2021 ·
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I was very confused at first, especially given some of the omens in your main series. But this was a delightful reunion indeed. Even if it ends on a tantalizingly ominous note. Thank you for it, and best of luck in the judging.
... That said, I don't really see who Pinkie's swapped with here. Twilight, maybe?
10845760
Yes, she was swapped with Twilight.
What does AB and AR stand for?
10845886
After Banishment and After Return, respectively.
... Eh. Pinkie coming back from the dead isn't that crazy. It's Pinkie Pie after all. Stop asking questions about how she does things.
It's the role swap with Twilight, and what it does, that doesn't work. AU or not. Suspension of disbelief isn't working for Pinkiecorn.
Equestria is doomed.
10846011
Sorry for the disappointment.
Hello, I am one of the judges for the Reunions Swapped Roles contest, and I'm going to share the scores that I gave this story along with the comments. Note that I was just one of three judges, so these comments do NOT reflect what the other judges thought of the story.
Quality 3 / 5
Stylistically, the story is very readable. There is a consistent issue with the interruption of dialogue using a tag or an action, but it does not severely impact readability.
Igneous’s voice is handled quite well, even without going for the Early Modern English.
Pinkie’s voice and character fits the setting of the story.
Emotional impact could use more time to develop (since you skimmed through a couple heart-wrenching moments). Though this might just be a personal preference, since the focus seemed to be more on the plot and worldbuilding.
Overall the story is fine to read, but for me it’s missing that thing which makes it stand out among other decently-written stories.
Roleswap originality/utilization 3 / 5
Nothing wrong with Pinkie in Twilight’s role as the leader of the Mane 6. I haven’t read or heard of anything like that yet, so props to you.
Most of the justification of the roleswap was through a single chunk of 300-word dialogue, which felt like exposition. The details of how the ascension worked were also left unexplained—which is expected, given the word count—but it left me wanting for more of the roleswap and its ramifications.
Prompt utilization 2 / 3
The story is focused on Pinkie’s return and reunion with friends and family. It handles these aspects quite realistically. However, there are certain aspects which were skimmed over, and the reunion felt like more of an afterthought to the worldbuilding of a war-torn Equestria.
10899430
Hi, thanks for letting me know about your comments! Regarding them:
Thanks for letting me know about those interruptions, I'll work on reducing them in future.
Glad you liked Igneous and Pinkie.
Yeah, it really sounds like this would've improved a lot if I'd given it some more time. I did try to provide some focus to the emotional scenes, but the whole thing was really rushed, so that might explain why they felt so telescoped.
Glad you thought the roleswap was original.
The mechanics of the ascension were left unclear deliberately; what happened to Pinkie wasn't as clean, for want of a better word, as what happened to Twilight in the S3 finale. What happened to Twilight was incredible; what happened to Pinkie was ineffable, indescribable. And, once again, regarding the word count, it seems that my choice to rush this was a poor one.
Glad I managed to handle the reunion well, and yeah, the reunion being an afterthought is basically this fic in a nutshell; the contest allowed me to use it as a vehicle to tell the story of Pinkie the White, as opposed to using the story of Pinkie's resurrection and ascension to describe her reunion with her family.
Overall, thanks for the kind words. I'll try to take them into consideration in the future.
Namarie.