A Change of View

Mind/Body Swapping255 stories ·438 members

A Change of View

A spell goes haywire, and Twilight and Rainbow Dash accidentally have their bodies switched.

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An attempt to write an MLP episode.

Chapters (1)

Comments ( 6 )

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Red Rune

Red Rune #1 · Sep 6th, 2012 · · ·

Not bad, but the ending seemed a shade easy...

Rainbow Dash the Awesome

Rainbow Dash the Awesome #2 · Sep 6th, 2012 · 1 · ·

1229856

That's what I was thinking too.
Also, there's one thing that almost always happens in body-swap stories that kinda annoys me, and it looked like it was going to start happening in this one before long. The characters always end up starting to behave more and more like each other, and they take that as a sign of the thing becoming permanent and thus decide to work faster to fix it. The problem with that is that it seems like if they just let it happen everything will go back to normal. For instance, if Rainbow was about to start acting and thinking like Twilight, then before long she'd just forget she had ever been Rainbow Dash, while Twilight would be acting more and more like Rainbow until she's exactly the same and forgets she ever was Twilight. Then, except for the fact that Twilight's magic would now be blue, everything would be exactly like it always was and neither of them would even remember the switch had ever happened; they'd have each others' memories instead of their own.

StormbadgerXIII

StormbadgerXIII #3 · Sep 6th, 2012 · · ·

That actually read pretty well, if I may be honest. I think you got the characters pretty down-pat, save Spike (but he's hard to write anyway), and it seemed quite a lot like an episode of MLP.
I'm not as... critical as the other two commenters, though. And you are my brother so I'm a touch biased.

DthWaker

DthWaker #4 · Sep 8th, 2012 · 2 · 3 ·

Twilight, element of magic with a magic cutie mark, makes a mistake casting a spell. Cliché.
Return to Status Quo. Cliché.
Two body-swapped characters start to behave like each other, gain physical attributes and/or abilities and take it as a sign to hurry. Cliché of the genre.
I'm sure there is more if I take a second look, but while the story isn't bad, (it is well written, has believable characters, and nopony acts OCC) it doesn't have anything to set it apart from others. The perfect generic story that could have been written by other authors. If you want people to read your stories you need an original premise, try to stay away from abused clichés where possible and try to give something they can't get reading elsewhere.

SigmatheAwesome