Amazing Flanks

by wishcometrue

Like, Seriously

Rainbow Dash took a sip of her hard cider and sighed happily. She didn’t understand why the rest of the girls weren’t as into bars as she was; if it was up to her, they’d have a bar night at least once a week. She didn’t complain too much, though, since the times they did go out were always a blast.

Around their table, Fluttershy was nursing her first—and only, as usual—Long Island Iced Tea, Twilight was sipping on a glass of wine that Rarity had selected, while Rarity seemed to spend more time gazing at Twilight than actually drinking her own glass, and Pinkie Pie was telling some crazy story that Rainbow had lost track of about two sentences in.

Oh, and of course Applejack was sitting next to her. Rainbow leaned in to nuzzle and kiss her marefriend. She closed her eyes and just rested her head against Applejack’s shoulder for a moment.

“...and that’s why I never bake cakes after midnight!”

Rainbow’s ears perked up at what sounded like the end of Pinkie’s story. She opened her eyes, and her assumption was confirmed when she saw Pinkie sipping from her glass of water.

Rarity cleared her throat. “What a… riveting story, Pinkie. Now, I need to visit the little filly’s room to freshen up, so please, excuse me.”

Rainbow watched as Rarity stood up and walked away from the table, her gaze roaming over Rarity’s swaying hips.

“Man, Rarity has, like, such amazing flanks, right AJ?” She felt her marefriend tense up, and Rainbow leaned back and looked at Applejack with concern. “Hey, you alright?”

Applejack pointedly looked away from Rainbow and didn’t answer. She stood up abruptly, leaving Rainbow Dash to scramble to regain her balance.

“Sorry y’all, I just remembered something I needed to take care of back at the farm.”

Rainbow watched her marefriend practically run out of the building. She rubbed the back of her head and raised an eyebrow. “Huh, wonder what’s up with her?” Rainbow looked around to see the rest of her friends looking at her in shock. “Why are you all looking at me like that?”

Twilight opened her mouth, but Rainbow put her hoof against it. “No, nevermind, not important. I’m gonna go see what’s up with AJ.”

Rainbow sped out of the bar and flew over to Sweet Apple Acres. It was a quiet, peaceful night on the farm. The only light in the farmhouse that was on was the living room’s. Rainbow landed and trotted up to the front door. She put her hoof on the knob, but it didn’t budge.

“Huh, that’s weird. It’s never locked.” Rainbow shrugged and began pounding on the door.

A few moments later, Applejack opened the top half and glared at her. Rainbow grinned, but she could feel sweat forming on her brow.

“Oh, hey AJ! The door was locked for some reason. What’s up with that?”

“Do I know you?”

Rainbow recoiled. “Woah, what? Did you hit your head or something? Come on, it’s me, Rainbow Dash! You know, your marefriend?”

Applejack scoffed. “Sure didn’t act like it back at the bar.”

“Uh…” Rainbow tilted her head, trying to think of why Applejack would be upset. “Was this because I took that last pretzel? I’m sorry, okay? You know I get snacky when I drink; besides, it was kinda stale and gross anyways.”

“What?!” Applejack’s jaw dropped. “Do you really think this is about some—some dumb pretzel? Or are you just making fun of me? Because I’m not sure which would be worse.”

Rainbow took a step back. “But— That’s not—”

“Y’know what, sugarcube? It doesn’t even matter. I just don’t wanna see you right now. Goodbye.”

Rainbow could only watch in shock as Applejack slammed the door in her face.

---

“Knew I should’ve kept my cloudhouse, but nooooo, I just needed to get that limited edition Daring Do box set,” Rainbow grumbled as she flew over Ponyville.

With her cloudhouse gone and Applejack being stupid and stubborn, Rainbow needed a place to stay. She was sure any of her friends would be willing to lend her a hoof if she asked, but she didn’t want to impose on any of them. Luckily, one of her friends had way more rooms than she needed.

Rainbow landed in front of the door to the Castle of Friendship, and immediately began pounding on it.

“Twilight!” she shouted. “Twiliiiiight, c’mon!”

Once her hoof started hurting, Rainbow took a step back and waited for about ten seconds. She was about to start again with her other forehoof when Twilight opened the door, blinking blearily.

“Rainbow Dash? Do you know what time it is?”

Rainbow waved her hoof. “Yeah, yeah, it’s late, I get it, but I need a place to crash for the night.”

“Oh, of course!” Twilight opened the door wider and Rainbow flew into the castle. “Is everything alright with you and Applejack?”

“Huh? Yeah, we’ll be fine. She’s just upset with me about something and won’t even tell me what it is.” Rainbow rolled her eyes. “Can you believe that?”

Twilight stared at Rainbow in disbelief. “You don’t know. You actually don’t know what you did wrong.”

Rainbow landed. “Wait, do you?”

Twilight nodded slowly.

“You do! C’mon, you gotta tell me!”

“Hoo boy, okay.” Twilight rubbed her forehead. “So, do you remember that comment you made about Rarity’s flanks?”

“Yup.”

Twilight waited for a moment, then sighed. “Of course this wouldn’t be that simple. Rainbow, that comment is what made Applejack upset.”

Rainbow’s muzzle scrunched up like she’d sucked on a lemon. “What? Why?”

“Jealousy, maybe? Or maybe you made Applejack feel insecure?” Twilight mused, before shaking her head. “Sorry, shouldn’t be playing armchair psychologist; you’ll need to ask her yourself why exactly it upset her personally, but it’s like… Well, how would you feel if Applejack complimented my wings?”

“Uh, I’d feel fine? Honestly, I’d just agree with her. I mean, have you looked at your wings? Like, damn.”

“Oh!” Twilight blushed. Her wings fluttered a little before she cleared her throat. “Uh, thanks. I think I see where the problem is, though.”

“Awesome, what is it?” Rainbow looked at Twilight expectantly.

“Well, it seems like this isn’t something you noticed, but for a lot of ponies, it’s upsetting when their special somepony talks about other ponies’ attractive features the way that you did tonight. It can make them feel a variety of things: jealousy, inadequacy, and so on.”

“Oh.” Rainbow’s eyes widened. “I’ve gotta go apologize right now!”

She started to fly away, but Twilight grabbed her in her magic before she was more than a few feet off the ground.

“Hey, what gives?” Rainbow whined.

“I think it’d be best if you give Applejack some time to calm down before you apologize to her.”

Rainbow frowned, but stopped fighting. Twilight was the smartest pony she knew, so she was probably right, like usual.

“Okay, fine,” Rainbow grumbled. She felt Twilight’s magic hold release and she landed once again. Her eyes widened as a realization struck her. “Oh shoot, uh… Sorry if I upset you with what I said tonight, Twi.”

Twilight shrugged. “Eh, I’ve never had a problem with jealousy myself, and I mean, you weren’t wrong.” Twilight raised an eyebrow. “Shouldn’t you also be worried you might have upset Rarity?”

Rainbow barked a laugh. “You kidding? It’s Rarity, she probably just took it as a compliment.”

“Okay, I mean, you’re right, she wouldn’t stop bragging about how you thought she was attractive, but you should’ve still been a little worried.” At Rainbow’s deadpan expression, Twilight added, “It’s just polite, that’s all!”

Rainbow chuckled. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

---

It had been three days since Rainbow had unexpectedly started staying at Twilight’s castle. Three days of Rainbow going to bed alone, missing Applejack’s warm body curled around her own smaller form. Three days of Rainbow seeing Applejack around Ponyville, only for Applejack to do anything she could to avoid her.

Rainbow decided that Twilight was stupid and always wrong about everything, especially waiting for Applejack to cool off.

And because Twilight was stupid and wrong about everything, it made perfect sense for her to break into Applejack’s room in the middle of the night to make sure they could finally talk. In fact, she should’ve probably gotten a medal for being so smart and good at relationships.

Rainbow walked up to Applejack’s bed and shook the other mare awake.

“Huh, wha— Rainbow Dash?! What are you doing here?”

Rainbow rubbed the back of her head. “Right, uh, I just wanted to apologize, you know? For what I said about Rarity at the bar the other night, I mean. I didn’t realize that’d upset you.”

Applejack glared at Rainbow for a moment, but then sighed. “It’s alright, sugarcube.”

Rainbow shook her head frantically. “But it isn’t! I didn’t mean to upset you, but I still did, so please tell me why you were upset?” Rainbow did her best to mimic the puppy dog eyes that Scootaloo always gave her.

Applejack groaned. “Look, I’m jealous of Rarity, okay? I know it’s stupid, but I’m big, strong, and tough. She’s pretty, elegant, and refined. And sometimes I… I just can’t help but wonder why you’d choose a mare like me instead of one like her.”

Rainbow’s jaw dropped. “You… what?! AJ, honey, I…” Applejack turned away from her, but Rainbow put her hoof on Applejack’s cheek, gently guided her gaze back towards herself, and looked deeply into her marefriend’s eyes. “Yeah, Rarity is all those things you said, and you’re all those things that you said too. But you know what? I like that stuff about you. You’re my big, buff, beautiful marefriend, and there is nopony I would rather be dating than you.”

Applejack sniffled and smiled. “Aw, c’mere you.” She picked up Rainbow and hugged her tightly. “I love you, Dashy, and I’m sorry I didn’t just tell you how I felt.”

Rainbow nuzzled her marefriend’s chest. “I love you too, AJ, and I’m sorry for being inconsiderate.” She leaned up and kissed Applejack.

With a grin, she added, “By the way, if you ever want to talk about another pony being attractive, I’m totally cool with that.”

Applejack chuckled. “Well, that being the case... I do think Twilight has got some mighty impressive wings.”

“Oh my gosh, I know, right? Like, seriously, damn!”

Comments

[Emotion Nexus]

This is the best cover art I've ever seen

[The Red Parade]

The real amazing flanks were the friends we made along the way

Hilarious and amazing, I loved this so much and it's hilarious how out of hand it got from the original panic fiction idea. Great work!

[wishcometrue]

10842891
Thank you, I worked very hard on it.

[wishcometrue]

10842892
Thanks Red, lol

[LegallyFluffy]

Nice

[Boltstrike58]

Okay I guess, but really predictable.

[Teal]

Beautiful! Went even better than I expected.

[PLAYBRONY]

As a polyamorous person I love this story because I would absolutely do what Rainbow just did. Me and my partners talk about how attractive other people are all the time and I don’t understand the concept of his that could upset someone lol

[Savant Sentral]

10843373
I feel like this is a needless mention of polyamory considering the context of the story but hey, glad things are working out for you

10843112
Not everything has to be new, inventive, or a masterpiece.
The author had a cute little idea for a story and wrote it just cuz.
Beats the senseless drivel a lot of people on here post

[SigmasonicX]

Fun story, and even managed to have a nice relationship moment for Rainbow and AJ. Ponies thinking Rarity has a nice flank is a recurring theme in fics I read... plus one I wrote.

[Wolk]

not a fan. only read the second paragraph but i know what it's gonna be about

[Gavier]

10846209
All fics are in one way or another about Rarity's flanks. Some are more metaphorical than others, that's all