• Member Since 8th Aug, 2019
  • offline last seen 5 hours ago

Jayelms43


Comments ( 39 )

I'm only liking this because you decided to make kirishima the main character but do everyone who reads this a favor and study on grammar

You have a lot of runoff sentences in the story I really hope you find an editor or proofreader

Honestly the grammar isn't that bad, one can easily understand what they are trying to say, but all in all I can't wait for it to continue.

I honestly think it's great keep up the good work

Ok, I’m kinda confused.

"My quirk is called hardening it's a transformation-type Quirks it allow the user to temporarily "transform" their body in a variety of manners, sometimes enhancing existing features, removing features, or adding new features to the body altogether. ... Some users condition their body in certain ways so that their Quirk can operate more effectively" I said finish before looking back at Fluttershy and walking up to her.

Is that last part true?

for your first question yes that is true.

And as for the second in this one all for one is a anthro ponie

10845647
I couldn’t really tell because you forgot to hit the reply button.

10846259
Just thought you should know. Also, how do they condition their bodies for their quirks?

10846262
The kaminari train his endurance since his hardening relying on his endurance

Recently in the manga, it was made canon that a weakness of One For All is that if a wielder already has a Quirk, their life span will be shortened.

But in a world of magic I can see how your MC would be able to find a way around that weakness.

"That's so sad," Pinkie said while her hair deflated I just nod my head before continuing "yes it is the powers I got them from seeing this as a fact; because if you don't have a quirk why would you try to become a hero you just going to get yourself killed; he even said this to someone maybe if you Swan Dive off the roof of the school building maybe you'll gain a quirk in your next life," I said making everyone sad and angry about what bakugou say to midoriya.

Not gonna lie, I was too.

Before he can do anything else he was hit in the face by something hard like a rock; everyone looked to see a hairless ape standing; "I'm only going to say this once leave and never come back" James said before red lightning was coming off his body.

Red?

They look at him for a moment before trying to rush him, he just shook his head before pulling his fist back and saying " Alabama smash" he yelled throwing his fist forward creating a gust of wind blowing all the thugs out of the town.

Is that something you made up?

"okay first you guys stay the fuck out of this, and as for you," James said before pointing at the leader with an angry face, "I'm going to broke your face in half," he said before he rushes at him with 50% of one for all in his right arm while hardening it before throwing a punch him in the chest before saying, " CALIFORNIA SMASH " he said the wind pressure from his punch creatures changes in weather that made it rain for a moment before dying down.

Isn’t that the same as Detroit Smash?

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In order.
First: yes it made me sad too.
Second: the same as deku green lightning when he is using full cowling of one for all.
Thitd: yes I made that up.
Fourth: and yes it's almost the same just a different name to it.

me want to see more this looks like it will be very interesting as it goes on

I really like it but it needs some editing and the chapters to be better explained cause you're skipping over details that would make the chapters feel more whole. but other than that it's a great concept and I want to see more.

where is class 1A in the MHA chronology?

Comment posted by Jayelms43 deleted July 22nd

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Season 1 right after the usj attack

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you know that means he has two one for all in the same world... hope james or midoriya doesn't end up like the current version of Deku in the manga.

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They won't because since James knows what's going to happen he can train him to control one for all

I was watching the trailer for the 3rd MHA movie and I was thinking are you going to involve the events of the movies in your story?

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Maybe I don't know yet I might do I have to change a few things from the movie so I can start right into my story I'll see how it goes before trying to put the movies in it

wait, shouldn’t James be a student?

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You can kind of say that doing regular High school activities and classes but doing hero training you could say that he's a part-time instructor or sensei.

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Ohh. I was wondering because none of the characters questioned it.

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Don't worry to be thoroughly surprised at what they see going to happen next in the next school day.

But you going to have to wait for the next chapter

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I thought I'd be more interesting adding that in the story

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So there’s no story behind it? They just popped up out of no where?

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I mean I'm going to have a little background story about it and saying that it came to be after the whole Discord coming back cause more chaos thing

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