Scenes From A Hat

by The Hat Man

Pastries in Klugetown [Slice of Life; OC]

“Wanna be friends?”

I squinted. It’s not like the very concept of friendship was something new, but I couldn’t recall being asked that specific question since I was a guppy.

“Come again?” I asked.

“Oh, I will!” the little pony asked, her light blue mane bobbing up and down with her head as she did so. “Of course I will! How else would I get these delicious treats?”

She bit into the pastry I’d just sold her. I mean, I’m glad she liked it, sure, and part of me just figured I should leave well enough alone, but…

“No, I, uh… what was that you just asked?”

“Oh!” the pony exclaimed, wiping her mouth with the back of her foreleg. “I was asking if you wanted to be friends! So… do you?!”

Let me back up…

My name is Gar. I’m a Pescian, or “fish man,” as the foreigners call us. I live in Klugetown, a trading village that lies on the crossroads between a bunch of different places. We were here before the Storm King, we were here during the Storm King, and we’ll be here for a long while now that the Storm King’s gone.

Go to the north, there’s sand and rocks and bones and steely skies that go on forever, at least as the scavengers tell me.

Go south, there’s a forest that gives way to the ocean, and off in the distance is Mount Aris.

No idea how my kind came here, and honestly I don’t care. We’re here, and that’s all that matters.

Around Klugetown, the rule is simple: if you have something valuable - keep it, sell it, or trade it. But you never just give it away.

After that rule, there aren’t many more.

That’s why, y’know, if someone says they’re your friend… you have to ask why they want to be your friend. Do they just want company when it’s time to knock off of work and have a tankard of cactus ale? (Fine by me, if they do!) Or maybe they want to set up an “arrangement.” You scratch my scales and I’ll scratch yours… that sort of thing. (Again, fine by me, long as my scales get scratched first.)

Things got weird, though, once that princess showed up. The pony one. The, uh… the one that… ah, jeez, what was her name? Moonlight? Sunlight? Starlight? I know there was a “light” in there…

Sorry, sorry, I’m gettin’ off-track.

Okay, the point is this: we heard about Equestria. I mean, it’s kinda hard not to hear about ‘em. They say it’s green and full of colorful ponies and that, if you can believe this, that’s where they raise the sun and moon.

I met this one crazy guy, a real egghead, who said that the sun actually stays in place and we go around it. Carpinicus, his name was. Total loon!

Right, right, still off-track. What I’m tryin’ to say is, Equestria… it sounds like a different world. Not just some other city, but like… like a whole ‘nother planet. I heard about that pony princess, but I never saw her. I heard those ponies beat the Storm King, and I was like, “Great, no more taxes,” but that’s about all I thought of it.

But then there was this morning, and that’s when it all got real.

So, I got up, went to the well, and I poured a nice bucket of water over myself - like ya do if you’re a Pescian - and then I load up my cart. I sell pastries. Little ones. Tarts. I fill ‘em with whatever fruit’s in season (or whatever’s cheapest), and I make do. Today, it was mostly prickly pear. You find ‘em all over the desert, so, y’know, if all else fails, at least we got those…

I loaded up my cart, started pushing it - you gotta push it, not pull it, ‘cause if you don’t keep your eye on it, someone’s liable to just take something when you’re not looking, so it’s best to keep an eye on it - making my way past all the buildings on the way to the marketplace. They’re all made out of sand and mud, a little bit of wood to hold up the structure, but they look pretty much the same. Every day, I go by that cat-man’s place with the windmill. What’s that cat’s name… Copper? Something like that…

So I get to the market square, set up my cart, and things are going like usual… right up until that pony shows up.

I saw her, of course. I mean, kind of hard to miss a pony around Klugetown. She’s pink, she’s got a blue mane and tail, and she’s the kind with wings. See, I thought they were making it up! I mean, really: wings? Never seen something with hooves that can fly, least not before that princess showed up, so…

I guess she caught me staring. She trots on over, and gives me this huge smile, like she’s known me for years. And she says:

“Hi! I’m Spring Blossom! What’s your name?”

I give her the ol’ squinty eye and go: “Who’s asking?”

She just laughs and goes, “I am, silly!”

So I think for a minute, realize that there’s nobody who wants a piece of me, and I just shrug my shoulders and figure that it’s no big deal, so I tell her, “It’s Gar.”

She laughs again and says, “I like that name! Are all, um, fish man names like that? Also, is that offensive: ‘fish man?’”

“We call ourselves Pescians… but ‘fish man’ works, sure. And, uh… I dunno… guess my name isn’t that weird, if that’s what you mean.”

“Oh, I see!” she says. “Anyway, I’m here because…”

She goes into this long explanation about how Princess What’s-Her-Name, the one with “light” in her name, is in charge now, and how she’s encouraging all sorts of ponies to learn about the cultures in other places, including Klugetown, and she apparently decided to spend her vacation here.

I shrug, since it’s no scales off my back, and she finally asks about my wares.

I tell her about the pastries and she asks to buy one. She’s only got Equestrian money, but it’s real enough when I bite it, so I sell her a pastry and she digs in.

Well, you’d think it was manna from Poseidon or something, because she gets this wide-eyed look and asks for another. And another. And another after that!

Soon enough, she’s bought out half my cart!

I have to crack a smile. “Heh. Didn’t think a little pony like you could put so many pastries away,” I say to her. “Most folks around here just want a quick bite to fill their belly before they go to work or get back to it. Nothin’ special.”

She gasps and goes “Nothing special?! Mister, these are amazing! What did you say you put in them again?”

“Uh, prickly pear?”

“Really! I didn’t know pears had prickles… what kind of trees grow them?”

“I mean, they ain’t trees, exactly… they’re cactuses. Like… I mean, you ponies know what cactuses are, right?”

She giggles and nods. “I do! But I’ve never eaten something from a cactus before. Until now, I mean. This place, all the creatures here… this is so exciting! I’m so lucky I get to meet you all!”

At this point, I’m not sure what to make of this pony. See, if you’re this eager, if you show your cards too much, then Klugetown just chews you up and spits you out. But, for some reason, I gotta smile.

“Well, glad ya like the pastries,” I tell her.

And that’s when she says “Wanna be friends?”

It takes me a bit - maybe a few bits, if you know what I mean - before I even understand what she means, and even then I have to ask her “Come again?”

And that’s where I started this off, yadda yadda, and then she asks:

“So, do you?”

Well, here I am, still figuring it out. She’s right here in front of me, looking up at me with those big eyes, and I’ve got no clue what to do next. Maybe I can sell her more pastries, or find out what else she’s carrying on her, or… or maybe I could just say yes and get her out of my fins.

“Sure, why not?” I say.

She makes this squeal that catches me off guard. All the other folks around the market square turn to stare like someone’s being murdered and then she… uh…

Okay, she just hugs me. She just straight up and hugs me like I’m an old friend and not some strange fish guy she just met. She’s so close I can smell her - and, swear to Poseidon, this pony smells like cotton candy - and part of me wants to just give her a smack and tell her to keep out of my personal space… but instead, I just pat her on the mane and try to give her the best grin I can manage.

Well, she finally lets me go and then asks if I know where I can find the Tourism Bureau. Last I checked, we don’t have a Tourism Bureau. But I know a guy who knows a bit about everything… but then I remember that a pony like her probably doesn’t know that the Gilfather won’t give something for nothing.

I still don’t know why, but I tell her how to find him and - get this - I just give her my most expensive pastry, a thing with custard and currants and a blend of spices. It’s a favorite of the Gilfather’s, and I only make one a week because not many folks around here will spend the coin on it, and the ingredients aren’t cheap either.

I tell Spring Blossom that the Gilfather will give her almost anything she wants if she offers it to him.

She gives me another big smile - and a hug, still not used to that - and then she just gallops away.

And, y’know, it’s weird… I was kinda sorry to see her go. Part of me hopes she shows up again. If the rule is “keep it, sell it, or trade it,” well… I guess if the “it” is some weird pony’s friendship, then I guess I’ll keep it. It’s good to have friends in high places… but maybe it’s good to have ‘em in far-off places too.

But what do I know… I got pastries to sell.

Author's Note:

Written for the Quills and Sofas Speedwriting Group's "Distant Lands" contest on January 18, 2020.

Comments

[dziadek1990]

cute.

[Llama the Kujo]

That was adorable.