• Published 19th Jul 2021
  • 10,414 Views, 2,834 Comments

Shouldn't have enslaved humanity [OLD VERSION] - NoobMaster69



In 2018, a radioactive asteroid was discovered heading towards Earth. By 2027, the UN had built a bunker to hold 400,000 people and Cryogenics were used to keep humanity frozen for 1,000,000 years. When they awoke, they found the survivors enslaved.

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The interview (part 2)

"So, shall we begin?" Dr. Keifer asked, to which Tirek and Cozy Glow nodded.

"You know, I've realised something," the doctor chuckled, "Throughout our entire conversation, I haven't even asked what your names are yet. How rude of me. So, what are your names?"

"My name is Tirek. Lord Tirek," Tirek answered boastfully.

"And my name's Cozy Glow," she replied.

"I'm sorry, I think I misheard, but did you just say your name was… Cozy… Glow?" Keifer asked in confusion.

"Yeah, Cozy Glow," she replied.

"Very well then," he gave her a peculiar look, "For my first actual question, why, pray tell, were you in cages when we found you?"

"Well, if you must know, I drained the entirety of Equestria off of all their magic," Tirek said proudly.

"And I tried to destroy all of the magic in Equestria," said Cozy Glow.

"I'm sorry, but could you please elaborate on this 'magic' you speak of," he said with air quotes on the word magic, "Is it some sort of religious belief? Superstition? A type of metaphor?"

"Magic is… well, magic," Cozy Glow said, "I don't have any other way to describe it."

"You mean… figuratively though, right?" Keifer asked, now sounding even more confused.

"You mean you don't know what magic is?" Tirek asked with the raise of an eyebrow.

"Of course I know what magic is," he said before standing up. "Abracadabra!" he shouted, thrusting out his hands as if shooting something from his palms. "Alakazam! Hocus Pocus! Zim Zim Zala Bim! supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!" he said, thrusting out his palms with each magic word he shouted.

Tirek and Cozy Glow just gave him confused stares in response, reverting back to looking at him as if he were mad.

"Is that what you mean?" the doctor asked, "Well, I apologise for having to tell you this but… magic isn't real."

"What?! You really think that - " Cozy Glow was interrupted by Tirek giving her a slight nudge.

"He doesn't have any magic, remember?" Tirek said, "It's entirely possible that he is genuinely unaware of the existence of magic."

Dr. Keifer thought of a way to disprove the existence of magic. To show these primitive creatures that what they believed in didn't actually exist. Then, he could finally start getting some actual credible information without the possibility of it having being tainted by their superstition and utterly stupid beliefs.

'I got it!' he thought.

"Mr. Tirek and Ms. Glow, when was the last - " he was cut off.

"It's Lord Tirek, not mister. Lord." Tirek corrected him.

"Very well, Lord Tirek and Miss Glow, have you actually seen magic with your own eyes?" He asked.

"Obviously. I do magic myself," Tirek replied.

"Show me, then. Show me this apparent magic which you practice," Keifer said.

"I have to absorb the magic of others to be able to do it myself," Tirek said, "And I have not absorbed any magic at the moment."

"Fine, let's say this so-called magic is real. What does it do? What is it capable of?" Keifer asked, being genuinely curious.

"Many things; telekinesis, teleportation, energy blasts, shield spells, creating illusions, dream walking, moving the Sun and moon, and a multitude of other things," Tirek said, "Magic has far too many applications for me to list down. It would be like asking what wood was used for."

"And you've seen all of this? you've done all of this?" Keifer questioned.

"Yes, I have utilised magic in more ways than you can count," Tirek stated.

Keifer was extremely reluctant to actually believe that magic was real, but there was the truth serum that was put into their recovery medication earlier. However, truth serum wasn't completely foolproof, having about a ninety seven percent accuracy rating if the individual was unaware that they had consumed the substance, and around a forty percent accuracy rating if they were aware of consumption. And they seemed to be completely unaware of the fact that their medicine had been dosed with the serum. Judging from how primitive they were, and how they treated things which most people would consider trivial with such awe, he guessed that they probably didn't even know truth serum existed.

"You're serious, aren't you?" the doctor asked, sighing in frustration and resting his forehead on his hand.

"Yea, and I believe it's my turn to ask the question now?" Cozy Glow said.

"Já, já, go ahead," Dr. Keifer replied.

"If you're really from the futur- past, how come you speak the same language as us?" she then looked around the room in awe once again, "And if you didn't use magic, how were you able to do all this?"

"Well, the answer to your first question is obvious. Your species was built from the remnants of ours. Everything from your language, to your customs, to your technology, and probably even your building designs would probably be based off of the remnants of the first humans. Maybe not wholly and completely, but there would be at least a slight resemblance," Keifer explained.

"That's not possible! There's no way that the civilisations of every single species is based on… humans… of all things," she said in a mixture of shock and disgust.

"Believe what you want. That's the only logical explanation," Keifer replied.

"Either that or you're lying," Cozy Glow squinted her eyes at him.

"Well if you do not wish to believe what I am saying, I think I shall have to show you," he said, before getting up from his seat and walking towards the door.

Keifer put his hands on the sensor and the door opened. He looked back to see the two still seated and staring at him in confusion. "Come along now, I don't have all day," he said to which Cozy Glow and Tirek reluctantly got up and followed him out the door.

"Where are we going?" Cozy Glow asked curiously.

"Now that I have confirmed neither of you are a threat, I can safely show you around the rest of Utopia," Keifer said.

"Hey, we are very big threats! We are Equestria's greatest threats, in fact! We are some of the most feared villains in the entire world!" Cozy Glow said, clearly sounding insulted while Tirek just frowned.

"This Equestria must be a very powerful nation if they were able to defend against the likes of the great Lord Tirek and Cozy Glow!" Dr. Keifer said, feigning fear and amazement.

"They are the most powerful nation on Equs after all," Tirek boasted, "And they were able to defeat us, but just nearly. Both of us nearly brought Equestria to its knees!"

"Hey Alise, change the designation of Subject One to Tirek and change the designation of Subject Two to Cozy Glow," Keifer called out, "Grant fugitives Tirek and Cozy Glow escortee access, which is to be limited within ten meters of citizen Heinrich Keifer. Deploy defensive countermeasures if fugitives initiate violent behavior or go beyond ten meters away from me."

"Wait, wait, wait, defensive countermeasures?" Cozy Glow asked worriedly.

"Yes. If you're looking for an opportunity to escape, now would be a good time to tell you that if you go beyond ten meters away from me, you will immediately be doused with the same electrically charged water that you felt just now," he pointed at Tirek, "And if you initiate any violent behavior, you will be electrocuted as well."

Tirek and Cozy Glow shared a worried glance before switching their attention back to the doctor.

"I hope we understand each other," Keifer stopped in front of the massive metal door and turned around to face them, "It is not my intention to bring harm to either of you. The both of you are humanity's best bet at gaining information on these apparent slavers, and fair warning that if you keep that information from us, you will be standing in our way."

The doctor whipped around and looked towards the top right corner of the hallway. "Hey Alise, open this door." he ordered and the door immediately began to part, both halves of the door sliding back into both sides of the door.

What the door revealed as it opened caused both Tirek and Cozy Glow to shrink back in fear, with Cozy Glow letting out a small gasp of fear. The massive bulkhead gradually unveiled over a dozen human soldiers, the first line crouching down while pointing their guns at the trio, with the second line standing up, their guns being held overhead of the first line, which were pointed at the trio as well.

"Doctor?" One of the men, the captain, asked, "Are the aliens safe?"

"Yes, yes, lower your weapons," the doctor said annoyedly, "There are only two of them, an entire platoon was not required."

The soldiers did as asked, though they remained vigilant, watching Cozy Glow and Tirek fiercely, as if daring them to make a move.

"We intend to make our way to the train station," the doctor said, "But I will be unable to do so if you continue to block my way."

"Clear a path!" the leading officer said and the soldiers scrambled out of their way, leaving a parting down the middle of the hallway, soldiers lining both walls.

"When will the next train arrive, captain?" Dr. Keifer asked.

"Ehh… roughly ten minutes," the captain replied, "But the train's reserved for the people who just woke up. Y'know, to get to their designated doctors for their medical check ups."

"Well, I am having two aliens with me, so I believe it would be fine if we take the train," the doctor said before turning to Tirek and Cozy Glow, "Shall we?"

The two followed behind the doctor, and as they did, they looked around in awe. As far as the eye could see, similar rooms to the ones they had been in lined the walls. Cozy Glow noticed that the number on the wall had changed, now saying 'Section 60192' when it had previously said 60193.

Cozy Glow decided to start conversing with Tirek while they were trailing behind the doctor, "Looks like he was telling the truth."

"It would seem so, but - " he was cut off as the doctor began to speak.

"You asked how we did all this without magic?" the doctor said, looking back at Cozy Glow.

"Yea, you said you didn't have any magic?" Cozy Glow asked curiously.

"This is all because of the wonders of electricity. We use electricity to power everything. From our inventions powered by electricity, we gained the capability to improve upon those inventions, and make new ones," the doctor said, "Of course, we use nuclear power now, but that nuclear power generates electricity as well."

"So you do use magic?" Tirek asked.

"No, I said we use electricity," Keifer corrected.

"Electricity is generated by magic," Cozy Glow stated as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"No, it's generated by - " Keifer stopped himself as he realised he was getting off topic, "You know what, nevermind. It involves a lot of technicalities, none of which you would understand due to your level of technology."

"Now I believe that was two questions, and now I get to ask two," he said before directing them to take a left at a four way intersection, leading them down another hallway of rooms.

"Firstly, I would like to ask, in your eyes, what is the most advanced piece of technology that you currently possess?" Keifer asked.

"That would have to be either the radio or the camera, both of which were invented over a thousand years ago," Cozy Glow said.

"Well, in my opinion, it's the train, which was also invented around one thousand years ago," Tirek said.

"So I'm guessing your technology should be actually extremely advanced then?" Keifer asked.

"Nope, there was something called a technological boom or something that happened a thousand years ago, but nothing has really advanced since then," Cozy Glow said.

"I see… this definitely warrants a thorough investigation… But back to the topic, you should have invented the gun by now ja?" Keifer said more as a statement than a question.

"What's a gun?" Cozy Glow asked.

"Maybe you call or something different," he said before thinking for a moment, "Remember those things we used to shoot darts at the three headed dog? Do you have anything that shoots projectiles? Something like that?"

"I mean, nothing like that exactly," she paused to think for a moment, "But we do have these things called bows and arrows. They function by - "

"I know what a bow and arrow is," Keifer cut her off. "So your timeline of technological innovations is all over the place, which should not generally be possible. And then there's the fact that your level of technology has been stagnant for what I assume is an entire millennia. We really do have to launch an investigation on why exactly this is," Keifer monologued before he realised he was talking to members of a primitive species which probably had no idea what he was saying, "Apologies, force of habit."

"Since that was all regarding your technology, I believe I should be eligible for another question, ja?" Keifer asked.

"Ehhhh… fine," Cozy Glow relented, "But just because I'm curious about what you wanna ask."

Attention then turned to Tirek. "I'll allow it, but only because you answered both questions," he said, "Not because I like you."

"You said earlier that I was a slave," Dr. Keifer stated. "You that followed up by stating," he took out his iPad and Cozy Glow and Tirek looked at it curiously. He scrolled through the recordings of the hallway camera that recorded the conversation.

It took him a few seconds but he eventually found what he was looking for. He hit the play button and Cozy Glow's own voice emitted from it saying, "And he's denying being a slave! All humans are slaves! Imagine a human doctor, how hilarious is that?!" before he paused the video.

"What exactly did you mean by that?" he asked, already knowing what she was probably talking about, but needing to hear it directly from the horse's mouth.

"Well, there's no easy way to say this, but, after the war," she glanced at Tirek worriedly, who glanced back at her, "The combination of all the other races defeated the humans, and kind of… um… enslaved them."

"The war?" Keifer asked curiously.

"All the other races used to live in harmony. War used to be a completely foreign concept, murder thought to be a myth, nopony even being capable of that in the past. But one day, the humans just suddenly demanded that they be ruler of… the world, I guess. Long story short, nopony liked that. They wouldn't submit, so the humans…" she paused for a moment, "They started massacring entire cities, threatening to continue if we didn't submit. That was when all of Equs's races worked together, and just barely managed to defeat humanity. We enslaved them… you… as a result. Now, a new age of harmony has been ushered in. It's like the old times, except we have humanity as slaves. The enslavement of your kind created a kind of utopia for ours. We no longer had to do hard work for long hours, since the humans could do it for us. The homeless started to have homes, since humans didn't need to be paid to build. We started to have an abundance of food, harvested mostly by humans."

"When was this war?" Keifer asked.

"About a thousand years ago," Cozy Glow replied.

'Around the same time that their 'technological marvels' were invented. Might be a coincidence, might not be. I'll have to look into that,' Keifer thought, before another question came to his mind.

"You said our kind was full of rape. What did you mean?" Keifer asked.

"As a result of the war and enslavement of humanity, your kind fell far," Cozy Glow said, "You became complete savages, most humans not even knowing how to use a simple fork and spoon. Your kind was deprived of education, and as a result of lawlessness, all manner of crime became more prevalent. Of course, we cracked down on the murderers and thieves, and hard. But as for crimes such as rape… Human society became one based on strength. The stronger ones literally owned the others, with the 'alpha' being at the top."

"I see…" the doctor was mortified at what he was hearing. This could not go on. But before he could contemplate further, they arrived at the train station.

"We're here… and right on time..." Keifer said half-heartedly as the train pulled into the stop.

Cozy Glow and Tirek looked at the train in amazement.

'This is their apparent 'train'? It looks like an arrow! This is so cool!' Cozy Glow thought, squealing internally but keeping a relatively unimpressed expression.

The train seemed to hover above the train tracks slightly, and it looked to be built into the ground, rather than above it. It was extremely streamlined, looking like a long bullet and having an extremely long nose. Black tinted windows lined the sides at regular intervals, obscuring what was inside.

The rest of the train station looked relatively advanced to the both of them as well, containing more of those light generated images, but rather than display scenery, these displayed what they could only guess were locations. Beside each location, were two sets of times, which they assumed were for arrival and departure. The ceiling was slightly higher in the station, and several benches were present for those waiting for the train.

Cozy Glow looked back at the doctor, only to find him looking at the floor, his fists clenched. He looked to be shaking with rage at the moment.


Back in the UN headquarters, the world leaders were appalled by what they were hearing. However, their attention was quickly taken away from the camera screen that displayed the doctor and the two aliens when a man dressed in a lab coat barged into the room.


Cozy Glow and Tirek stared at Keifer worriedly.

"Doctor?" Cozy Glow asked softly and carefully.

"What?!" Dr. Keifer screamed in anger, causing them both to flinch.

"Are you okay?" Cozy Glow reluctantly asked.

"What do you think?! I've just found out that - " the doctor cut himself off as a voice suddenly sounded in his ear.

"Dr. Keifer? Dr. Keifer, come in," the voice came.

He pressed the button on the side of the earpiece, "Speaking."

"It's the president's daughter, she's dying," the voice said.

"What?! Eris?! What's happening?!" Keifer asked in quick succession.

"Firstly, we've found out the cause of death of the others," he paused, "It's chaotic radiation. There's been a leak."

"And Atticus's daughter has been affected?" Keifer asked.

"Yes sir, she's already begun displaying external mutations," the voice on tmr comms said.

"Put her back in the cryo-pod and freeze her. That should slow the effects. Grant the train express to whichever chamber you're keeping her in. I'm on my way," Keifer said before turning off his earpiece.

"Lord Tirek, you said to Cozy Glow earlier that you could absorb 'chaos magic' didn't you?" Keifer asked with air quotes.

"How did you - " Tirek began to ask but was cut off.

"Doesn't matter, there are more prevalent matters now. You are needed… by the president," Keifer conveyed it in a way that made it sound like the president was someone important.

Author's Note:

Firstly, I would like to start off by saying that literally every single one of your theories about Celestia and Luna moving the Sun and moon is wrong. And no, they aren't lying to the ponies... well, they are, but there's also a reason that Earth wouldn't be able to survive without them.

Secondly, the reason it took three days for me to publish is because I take Sunday's off. I usually publish on Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday if there are no complications. And that's why I'm writing at 12am. I had to rush as well, since I couldn't fit everything I wanted to fit in in below 3k words. And I still had to condense the chapter, and wasn't able to fit in as much information as I would've liked.

Lastly, I would really love to hear your theories on what's going on and stuff. Btw, there's a lot more to the war than humans just going 'I've got the power! Boom!' and deciding to conquer everything.

Until Thursday... or whenever it is I reply to your comment if you comment.