• Published 19th Jul 2021
  • 10,374 Views, 2,834 Comments

Shouldn't have enslaved humanity [OLD VERSION] - NoobMaster69



In 2018, a radioactive asteroid was discovered heading towards Earth. By 2027, the UN had built a bunker to hold 400,000 people and Cryogenics were used to keep humanity frozen for 1,000,000 years. When they awoke, they found the survivors enslaved.

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The two second battle


I would've included this in the author's note, but you can only put it in one spot (either top or bottom). I always put it at the bottom to write a short discussion of some of the events of the chapter, the events playing out in the next chapter, and occasionally some minor spoilers for upcoming events.

Someone asked me what a Utopian soldier looks like in the comments. I included it in the last chapter, but it was one of those clickable links that some people might miss. I think it's important to know what they look like to enjoy the chapter, so here's what they look like:

Now, back to the story. Enjoy!


"Attack!" the royal guard sergeant shouted.

All at once, the earth ponies and pegasi charged at the Utopian soldiers, while the unicorns began blasting at them from afar. Of course, the unicorns' energy blasts weren't even a threat, more of an annoyance; being constantly struck with blinding lights tends to irritate one quite a bit. The constant flashes did nothing to disorient the soldiers, however, since their helmets had an anti-flashbang system already built into them.

The earth ponies let out a battle cry and began rushing at the nearest enemy soldier, with spears at the ready. To them, they were the superior force, with the humans' strange batons looking completely useless in a fight, and their lack of armour already making them more than easy targets. It was clear to them that this battle would be short and quick. A ragtag bunch of escaped slaves didn't even stand a chance against the likes of the Equestrian Royal Guard. The fact that a bunch of humans dared stand up to the ponies, who were superior in every way, was completely laughable.

The pegasi also let out a battle cry of their own, followed by swooping down towards the nearest target. It was clear who the superior fighting force was, with them being capable of flight, and being able to attack from all angles. That, and the fact that they had spears as opposed to blunt tipped weapons.

"This won't even be a battle. It's gonna be a massacre. Foolish apes," the sergeant confidently spoke to the elements.

For a moment, they just stood there, with the tips of their weapons pointed at their target of choice. They seemed to be in defensive positions, which made sense, seeing as the superior force was usually the one on the offense. Then, the order came in.

"Diplomatic team, you are clear to use deadly force. Eliminate all enemy combatants, protect Diplomat Bob, and retrieve Twilight Sparkle, unharmed if possible," Atticus ordered over the comms in their helmets. The sergeant was right about one thing however, this wasn't gonna be a battle, it was gonna be a massacre.

The ponies thought themselves superior, thinking the humans must be cowering in fear behind those helmets of theirs. The reality was very much different though. To the most highly skilled soldiers in the entire world, these creatures were barely even a threat. In fact, these equines were nearly laughable, with the tallest one being just over four feet tall. If they weren't holding spears and charging at them, the humans would've actually considered them a little cute. Not Cozy Glow level adorable, of course, but still really cute. That didn't mean they weren't prepared to slaughter every single one of them though.

The earth ponies and pegasi continued in their charge, completely confident in their ability to win. From their point of view, they didn't even consider the ragtag band of slaves to be a threat. They considered them as something to do to pass the time; guarding a small town is typically very boring. At least, they continued their confident charge until all of them suddenly died.

They didn't even manage to get halfway from their positions to the humans before the constant bags started. They began shooting simultaneously, but each person only had to shoot three times, at the most. The soldiers of Utopia never miss, and the only reason the ponies didn't all fall in one shot was because some of them went for the same targets.


The grand battle of the Utopian soldiers against the Equestrian Royal Guard lasted a grand total of two seconds. What was supposed to be a complete and total victory for the ponies ended in them just suddenly dropping dead.

Every single human, pony, and whatever else was present were wide eyed at what they had just witnessed. They weren't terrified, they weren't horrified, they weren't even scared. The battle didn't even last long enough for fear to set in. Everyone stood still and unmoving, their brains were just in complete and total shock, currently being unable to process any information. Every single creature present was completely stunned. No words could describe how utterly, completely rekt they were.

They were brought out of their stunned state once Diplomat Bob spoke. "Well that was easier than expected," he nonchalantly stated. "I mean, I honestly never thought that a bunch of cute, mini horses would be that much of a threat. But seeing as you were able to enslave humanity, I expected something a bit more," he turned towards one of the soldiers, "Well, commander, let's get this over with. Kill the horny ones and get the winged horny one."

Most of the soldiers then turned their focus towards the unicorns, while some cast their gazes on Twilight. This was enough to elicit a feeling of fear, and the royal guards began shaking in their armour.

"Sir, what do we do?" A female unicorn guard asked the sergeant in a shaky tone.

"Run," he whispered fearfully.

"What?" She asked again, not fully being able to come to terms with the fact that their sergeant was asking them to run away from humans.

"RUN!" The sergeant shouted, and began hightailing it. The rest of the soldiers would normally be way too prideful to run away from humans, but even they knew better than to run towards what would undoubtedly be certain death.

The guards began running as well, following behind their sergeant. They were escorting the elements away, who were also running alongside them. The ponies who were present during the aircraft's landing immediately scattered as well. Despite it being an excellent opportunity for a rebellion, the humans were unable to rebel due to their shock collars, and were forced to retreat alongside their masters.

They would not get far, however. The Utopians knelt down on the ground for better accuracy, since at this point the unicorns were about fifty metres away, widening the distance fast. Green lights began appearing all over their retreating bodies as the Utopians targeted them with their laser sights. The humans looked through their scopes, and took aim. In one quick burst of shots, every single one of the retreating royal guards were cut down. They all dropped down to the floor. Some were still alive, with the bullet not hitting them in an area that would kill them instantly, but they were still writhing in agony, and would probably die anyway. Except the sergeant, of course. He was given a shot to one of his legs, incapacitating him. He would be a useful source of information.

Twilight and her friends were unharmed as well, but they did jump when they heard the shots. They stood there stunned for a moment, looking around at all the guards who had just been put down. They didn't have time to linger however, as the Utopians immediately gave chase.

"Twilight, we gotta go!" Rainbow Dash said as she looked back and saw the approaching humans.

The rest of the elements looked back as well, and saw the humans running towards them. Then, something else came into the picture; the most dangerous of Utopian weapons. High tech military grade drones began pouring out of the aircraft, all armed when tranquilizer darts and taser bolts.

The drones were a metallic black, with a camera on the front of it. It had two propellers with rotor blades attached to it, one on each side, that allowed it to fly in the same way a helicopter could. It had an extremely streamlined and sleek build, with the exception of the head which was extremely boxy. The tail of the drone was split into two blades, allowing it to easily cut through the air and reduce drag. At the bottom of the drone was a long double barrel gun. The top barrel was twice as large as the bottom barrel, allowing it to be able to shoot the relatively large taser bolts and gas canisters, while the barrel on the bottom was smaller to allow it to shoot tranquilizer darts. These drones were supposed to be used as nonlethal methods to police the residents of Utopia in case of a riot or other large scale illegal gatherings, but they were now being used to allow for the capture of Twilight without having to harm her.

"Umm… what are those flying things?" Pinkie asked. As if in response to her question, the drones began zooming towards them.

"I don't know, but they seem to be heading toward us! Everypony run!" Applejack called out and they began to run like hell. The six of them were all being led by Rainbow Dash, who needed to slow down for them to keep up with her due to her fast flying speed.

"What are those things?!" Rainbow Dash asked as she flew overhead.

"I don't know, but whatever they are, they look dangerous," Twilight replied.

"How were the humans capable of that?!" Fluttershy asked. "I thought that they didn't have any magic, but they just… just…" She began sobbing as she ran, "They just killed them! They killed them!"

"You were right guys, the humans are monsters," Twilight said sadly.

"Uhm, guys," Rainbow called out, "The flying things are gaining on us!"

"We need a plan, and fast!" Applejack said.

"Why can't you teleport us, Twilight?" Pinkie asked as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"I can't bring all of you with me. If you were to teleport the six of us, I would need to have a few minutes to change the spell. They'd catch up to us before I could charge it!" Twilight replied.

"Then why isn't anypony else trying to help us?!" Pinkie asked.

"You saw what happened to those who tried! And they were trained soldiers!" Rarity responded, "We need to find a place to hide!"

"There's no time!" Twilight said, "They're gaining on us and we can't break line of sight! We can't get to a hiding spot without them seeing where we're going!"

"If we just keep runnin', they'll catch up in no time!" Applejack stated.

"But how are we gonna hide from or outrun them?!" Rarity asked.

Rainbow Dash was flying above them, with an aerial view, and that gave her an idea. "The corner up ahead!" She called out, "We'll be able to break line of sight long enough for us to take refuge in one of the buildings there. Hopefully you'll be able to change the spell before they find us!"

"It's risky!" Twilight yelled back.

"It's the only chance we've got!" Applejack stated, "If we just keep runnin', they'll catch up to us eventually! We don't have a choice!"

"Fine, we'll do it!" Twilight said, "Rainbow, the furthest building we can get to before they go round the corner!"

"You got it!" Rainbow said, and went to look for the best option.

The rest of the group rounded the corner to find Rainbow beckoning them into one of the closed stores; a furniture shop. They immediately headed into the store, and the moment they did, the drones came round the corner.

They panted heavily from the marathon they had just ran. They were safe, for now at least.

Well, that's what they thought. Unbeknownst to them, however, the mini drones that had been sent to scout out the town were still present; all nine hundred of them. In fact, their 'hiding spot' had been spotted by three of the mini drone pilots. The humans knew exactly where they were.


"Where the fuck did they go?!" One of the drone pilots asked.

"Check each building, they could be anywhere," the drone commander instructed.

"That won't be necessary," one of the mini drone pilots called out, before walking towards the combat drone pilots. He went up to the commander's screen, which was still showing the row of buildings they could've entered. "That one," the mini drone pilot pointed to one of the shop lots, "They're in there."

"How do you know?" The commander asked.

"I was piloting one of the flies and picked them up as they entered," he replied.

"Very well. All units, converge on that furniture shop," the commander ordered, "Prepare gas canisters."


"Who are they?!" Rainbow Dash asked.

"They're definitely not your run-o'-the-mill humans, that's for sure," Applejack observed.

"Are they even human?" Pinkie asked, "No human could've done that."

"What even was that thing that they used?!" Rarity asked, shellshocked, "It didn't even do anything. It just… killed them. They just pointed it at them and it… killed them. No spell is capable of that!"

Fluttershy was just curled up in the corner, sobbing. "Why… why would t-they - " she didn't even finish her sentence as she broke down into cries.

"I've never seen anything like them," Twilight said.

"Do you think they're part of a new rebellion?" Pinkie asked Twilight.

"I… I don't think so," she responded, "No rebellion would be capable of such a thing. I'm starting to think that that Bob guy might've been telling the truth."

"What are you saying?" Rarity asked.

"I'm saying… only an entire nation would have even a fraction of the magical power they would need to create something like that," Twilight said worriedly, "Objects that just kill somepony when you point it at them… not even Celestia has that kind of power."

"But humans don't have magic," Applejack said, before correcting herself, "Well, they do, but they don't have the ability to cast spells."

"I don't even know if they themselves were carrying the spells," Twilight said, "It was those objects… those terrible weapons of theirs. They might've found some artifacts of some sort."

"If they were artifacts, they wouldn't have so many," Rainbow Dash stated.

"I don't know who or what they are, but the princesses have to know about this," Twilight said. "Now guys, I need to concentrate," Twilight said, "Now we have to join hooves. The teleportation spell needs us to be in physical contact with each other for it to work." They all did as instructed, joining their front hooves together while they balanced on their back hooves. The reason ponies were able to defy gravity in such a manner has baffled scientists for hundreds of years.

After a few seconds, they all began glowing slightly. That glowing very slowly increased as Twilight charged the teleportation spell. Since she was taking five other people with her, she wasn't able to teleport very far, so her destination was at the other end of Ponyville, where they could slip out of the town undetected. This would still take a few minutes, but it would take at least a few minutes for the humans to find them… right?

Suddenly, the sound of glass breaking filled the store. This was followed by several more sounds of windows being broken. They were hiding near the back of the store so that the humans wouldn't be able to see them through the windows, but the sounds thankfully came from the front of the store. There was no doubt about who it was that broke through the windows. They had been discovered.

"We've been discovered," Twilight stated the obvious. She peeked out from the backroom to find several of those flying things hovering in front of the windows. Now that she could see them in real detail, they looked much more terrifying than what she saw from a distance; they looked like metal dragons. They were shining extremely bright lights into the store, and soon all the lights converged on her.

She then noted that none of them seemed to be attempting to enter the store, despite them having seen her. What was strange was that the windows were broken… but none of them had entered. She then took notice of several spherical metal canisters strooned about the floor. They then began emitting a red gas of some kind, which was slowly filling the store. She didn't know what that gas was, or what it did, but she definitely did not want to find out.

She retreated back into the backroom and began telling her friends of their predicament. "The metal flying things aren't trying to come into the store," she said before getting a worried look, "But they've positioned themselves right at the front. What's worse is that they threw in some metal objects that emit some form of red gas. I don't know what it does, but I for one don't wanna find out. So, how do we get out of this?"

"You could form a barrier to keep the gas out!" Rainbow Dash suggested.

"And then we… we could fight our way out! We're the element bearers, and you're an alicorn! The humans don't stand a chance!" Applejack added, trying to inspire them despite their miniscule odds.

"Maybe Rainbow could fly extremely fast and generate wind to clear the gas?" Rarity suggested.

"Or… we could just use the back door?" Pinkie suggested, pointing to a door that was right in front of all of them.

"I think we should go with Pinkie's idea," Twilight said.

"Definitely," Rarity confirmed.

"Ah' guess that's much better," Applejack agreed.

"Yep," Rainbow added.

They then all looked at Fluttershy, who was still curled up in the corner. "Come on, we need to go," Twilight said. "If we don't go now, we might not be able to leave," Twilight revealed the harsh truth. "Come on, we'll be okay. We're not going down. Not today, not ever. But you have to be strong, at least until we get out of this. Can you do that for me? For us?" She said in a gentle tone.

"O- okay," Fluttershy relented, before getting up slowly.

"We need to be quiet about this," Twilight said, "If they don't know we've escaped, they won't follow us."

They all walked up to the door. Applejack led the way, with Rainbow Dash, Twilight, Pinkie, Rarity and Fluttershy following behind. Applejack opened the door very slightly to get a peek and confirm the coast was clear. "It's clear," Applejack confirmed. Unbeknownst to her, however, human soldiers were, in fact, waiting right outside. The door opened outwards, so she was only able to get a peek at one side of the alleyway, while human soldiers hid right behind the door, out of sight.

"Come on everypony," Applejack opened the door. "Let's get ou - " she was cut off as a shock spear came into contact with her torso, producing a painful crackling, buzzing sound as electricity began coursing through her body. The shock lasted for thirty whole seconds, each passing second causing her agonizing pain. The others were stunned as they watched Applejack, gritting her teeth and screaming in agony, until she fell to the floor, unconscious and with steam coming from her body. They were brought back to reality as human soldiers began walking towards the now open door.

"Come on everypony!" Twilight called out and headed towards the door leading to the front. She opened the door to find the red gas only a few feet away from the door, and slammed the door shut once again. "We can't go out that way. We don't know what the gas does," Twilight said. They all turned around to find the human soldiers all already in the room, pointing their weapons at them.

"Please! We didn't do anything!" Rarity said, but they didn't budge.

"We'll come quietly. Just please - " Twilight was cut off as one of their weapons shot what appeared to be a syringe at her.

"Why you!" Rainbow Dash shouted in anger and began flying at the nearest human. "You're gonna pay for that - " she was cut off as well as one of the humans shocked her with a spear. It wasn't a long lasting shock like Applejack's, but it was enough to interrupt her advance and cause her to crash into the floor. "Stupid apes! I'm gonna," - one of the humans shot her with a dart - "Make… you… pay… for tha - " she fell unconscious before she could finish her sentence.

One by one, the remaining three elements were brought down. Rarity and Pinkie tried running, but were shot before they could even reach the door. Fluttershy, on the other hand, just stood there with tears welling up in her eyes. She had no idea her friends were just unconscious; she thought they were dead.

"Hey!" One of the humans, a girl, called to her, getting her attention. "I know you're not a threat. Don't worry about your friends, they're not dead. And I'm sorry about this, but I've gotta follow protocol," the human said apologetically, before shooting her with a tranquilizer dart.

"Let's move it boys!" Said the same soldier shot Fluttershy. "Take them all. Atticus could use them as leverage if the princess doesn't wanna help," she ordered, and got a 'Yes, ma'am' from her soldiers in response.

That was the day that Equestria tasted a mere fraction of Utopia's power. Out of every single one of the biggest threats in Equestrian history, none of them were able to defeat the elements, and it took the humans only sixty of their men to do so.

Author's Note:

Well, the most highly anticipated part of any story with modern society and mlp meeting is always the first battle, mostly for reactions and stuff. And the battle lasted a grand total of... Two seconds! Wow, I know right! It's amazing they lasted more than a second. That should be one of the ponies' crowning achievements. 'We fought with the Utopians and lasted two seconds! Ha! Top that!'

In other news, this was a super fun chapter to write. I actually wrote nearly 2k words straight in one sitting yesterday. I really do love first contact... it's a real shame it only happens once.

Next chapter, we're gonna cut back to Utopia, and take a look at the situation there. It's gonna show what happens to Atticus, and what consequences he's gonna face; if he faces any, that is. Hint: it's gonna be the real start of Atticus's villain ark. Stay tuned on 'You shouldn't have enslaved humanity' to find out how he's gonna get out of this unscathed, why he's actually extremely intelligent, and how he's gonna become a villain. Major spoilers for next chapter: It's gonna involve presidential emergency powers.

As usual, feel free to comment your thoughts and critique my oh so magnificent work as you see fit. Constructive criticism is welcome... Yada yada yada. Next chapter will be out in two days. Peace!